Zooms Jokes
10 zooms jokes and hilarious zooms puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zooms that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Hilarious Zooms Jokes to Make Your Friends Roar with Laughter
What is a good zooms joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A Japanese businessman hails a taxi...
As they go along the highway, a car zooms past by.
"Oooh," exclaims the businessman, "that's a Toyota. Made in Japan, very fast!"
Moments later, another car speeds ahead.
"Ahhhhh," exclaims the businessman again, "a Nissan! Made in Japan too, also very fast!"
Then once more, another car rushes ahead.
"Oooooh," exclaims the businessman, "a Mitsubishi! Made in Japan and very fast again!"
Then they reach their destination.
"Why bill so big?!" complained the Japanese.
"Meter's made in Japan," replied the driver. "Very fast!"
At the Bee Prom...
A young bee nervously flies around hoping to grab a dance with the queen bee. Finally he musters up the courage and talks to her. She looks at him and says "I'll dance with you if you get me some fruit punch"
Excited, the bee zooms to get the punch. He sees the line for nachos, the ice cream machine, the honey line, but after hours of searching he realizes...
There is no punch line
Phil Swift has a new product
He puts on a pair of boots and says, " I present to you the FlexBoots! Now this product may seem like ordinary boots, but with these bad boys you can run up walls, on the ceiling!" He goes on to demonstrate them by walking on random surfaces. "To show you the power FlexBoots", the camera slowly zooms out, and inverts itself, showing Phil standing under an airplane ."I'm on an airplane!" The pilot of the plane looks out the window and says,
"Weird Flex but okay."
Gliding Eagles
Two eagles were gliding at a high altitude and discussing life, when a F-15 fighter jet zooms above them. It throws them off course and ruffles up their feathers.
They calm down and get back on track gliding next to each other.
The first eagle, excitedly 'Wow!! Now thats what I call speed!!'
The second eagle, calmly replies 'Trust me. You would be flying that fast too if your sphincter was on fire.'
A drunk man staggers out of a bar late at night.
Struggling to keep his balance, he grabs on to a nearby pole to be able to stand still. A few minutes later a fire engine zooms by blaring its sirens. Looking at the truck, the man started running furiously after it and yelling incoherently, but after a good kilometre, he finally collapsed and panting heavily, he yelled out
You can keep your rotten ice cream!
The cab
A Jewish guy in New York City is in a cab. The cab is going down the street when the cabbie sees a guy on the sidewalk mugging a woman. The guy is hitting her and trying to grab her purse. The cabbie zooms to the side of the road and jumps out to go help the woman.
The Jewish guy rolls down the window and yells, "Stop it! Stop it! Stop the meter!"
I was there for her first drawing - happy old lady
*camera zooms out onto little girl drawing on wall*
And I'll be there for her last
*lady slowly aims gun at little girl*
An old lady in a nursing home ...
.. is wheeling around in her wheelchair. She zooms up and down the corridors and screeches around the corners. Then one of the other residents stops her and demands to see her driver's license. She hands him a chocolate bar wrapper and he is satisfied.
She continues rushing around until another inmate stops her and demands to see her registration. Again the candy wrapper works.
But on turning the next corner she sees an elderly man standing in her path completely n**....
"Oh no" she thinks "How am I going to pass the breathalyzer test?"
Wanna Race?
A Man Pulls Into a Gas Station in his Porsche, and a kid on a tricycle starts riding around him.
"Wanna race?" asks the kid.
"No thanks," laughs the guy and drives off.
When he gets on the highway, the kid suddenly zooms past him. "Wow!" the guy says and floors it. He catches up and the kid disappears behind him. A minute later the kid flies past again. Astonished, the guy pulls over, only to see the kid come zooming backward, then forward again, until finally he comes to a stop next to the car.
The man opens the door to find the kid on his tricycle, wheels smoking. The kid pants, "Thanks for stopping mister. My suspenders got caught in your door."
A man goes to audition for the circus
A man goes to audition for the circus. The ringmaster says, "Okay, whatcha got?"
The man climbs up the acrobat's mast and dives straight down, 50 feet and picking up speed. Just as he's about to c**..., he spreads his arms, lifts his head and *SWOOSH!* pulls up and zooms over the ringmaster's head. He continues flying around the tent, swooping low and somersalting mid-air before gracefully coming to a stop on the trapeze tightrope.
"Well, what do you think?" he asks.
The ringmaster replies, "That's all you got? *Bird imitations?!*"
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