Zoomed Jokes

Hilarious puns and funny pick up lines

A duck was standing on the curb

Cars zoomed past the duck while he waited for a break in traffic. A chicken walked up to him and said "Don't do it, man. You'll never hear the end of it."

A man was hunting in the woods with his buddy

The buddy grabbed his rifle and zoomed in and said

"Hey, I can spot your house from here. But your wife is home and she's cheating on you with another man!"

The husband, shocked, says "Not again! Ive had it with her, shoot her in the head and him in the dick."

The buddy, undeterred, said: "No problem, I can get them both with one shot."

A young stock broker had just parked his BMW

As he opened the door, a car zoomed past ripping the door from his car. A police officer happened to be walking past, and quickly ran over to the driver. Are you alright? , he asked. The stock broker whined, My Beemer! Look what he did to my Beemer! Disgusted the officer growled, You greedy Wall Street types are all alike. Just worried about your fucking status symbols. You're so busy whining about your damn BMW that you haven't even noticed that your whole arm was ripped off by the crash. The stock broker looked down at bleeding shreds of flesh hanging where his left arm once was and screamed, Oh my God! Oh my God! My Rolex!

The firefighters dog

A nursery school teacher was delivering a station wagon full of kids home one day when a fire truck zoomed past. Sitting in the front seat of the fire truck was a Dalmation dog. The children started discussing what the dog's duties might be.

"They use him to keep crowds back," said one youngster.

"No," said another, "he's just for good luck."

A third child concluded. "No silly, they use the dogs to find the fire hydrant!"

What are the funniest zoomed jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Zoomed? Well, here are the best Zoomed puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Zoomed pick up lines to share with friends.

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