The Best 63 Zoo Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Zoo jokes. There are some zoo menagerie jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these zoo tigers puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Zoo Jokes and Puns

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in the cage

Zookeeper said it was bread in captivity

I met my girlfriend whilst she was working at the zoo.

There she was in her uniform – straightaway I knew she was a keeper.

At the zoo I noticed a slice of toast in one of the enclosures.

I asked the keeper, 'How did that toast get into the cage?'

'It was bread in captivity' she replied.

My buddy took a job circumcising elephants at the zoo

The money's not great but the tips are huge

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the zoo.


I met my wife at the zoo.

The moment I saw her there, dressed head to toe in khaki and covered in animal shit, I knew she was a keeper.

I have the memory of an elephant.

I remember one time I went to the zoo and saw an elephant.

I lost my job at the zoo recently.

There was a sign that said do not feed the animals. So I didn't.

What do you get when you cross human DNA and goat DNA?

Thrown out of the petting zoo

Letter Z getting removed Joke

After carefully considering and debating the matter for over two years, the Engwish Wanguage Centwaw Commission (EWCC) came to the concwusion that the letter Z should be remowed from the Engwish alphabet.

zero becomes xero
zoo is now xoo

visualize becomes visualise
analyze becomes analyse

zodiac is now xodiac

My new girlfriend works at the Zoo.

I think she is a keeper.

You can explore zoo orangutan reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean zoo aquarium dad jokes. There are also zoo puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


What do you get when you inject human DNA into a sheep?

...banned from the petting zoo...

Carl opened a zoo.

Carl opened a zoo and made the entry fee $60. No one turned up.

Carl made the entry fee $30. Yet again, no one turned up.

So, Carl made the zoo free to enter, soon enough, it was full.

Carl shut the gates, released the lions, and made the exit fee $60.

What happens when you mix human DNA with goat DNA?

You get kicked out of the petting zoo.

A man was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him. The officer looked in the back of the man's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?

The man replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.

You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.

The next day, the officer saw the same guy driving down the road. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.

I did, the man replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach.

Did you know penguins scream during sex?

Maybe not all of them?
But definitely the one I cornered at the zoo.

I took my 8 year old niece to the zoo last week...

..we were walking around the various cages and enclosures when all of a sudden she yells, Look Uncle John! It's a frickin' Elephant!
I was shocked and slightly angry, as everybody was looking at us. What did you just call it? I asked.
It's a frickin' Elephant, it says so on the picture! she said, ... and so it did, A F R I C A N Elephant.

My father has the heart of a lion...

And also a lifetime ban from the zoo.

A man named Jeff was driving down the road when a policeman stopped him.

The officer looked in the back of Jeff's truck and said, Why are these penguins in your truck?



Jeff replied, These are my penguins. They belong to me.



You need to take them to the zoo, the policeman said.



The next day, the officer saw Jeff driving down the road once again. He pulled him over again. He saw the penguins were still in the truck, but they were wearing sunglasses this time. I thought I told you to take these penguins to the zoo! the officer said.



I did, Jeff replied. And today I'm taking them to the beach."


I went to the zoo today and saw a bagel locked up in a cage.

Apparently it was bread in captivity.

I went to the zoo and saw a baguette in a cage

I guess you could say it was bread in captivity

Just back from the zoo. Saw a slice of toast lying in one of the enclosures.

It was bread in captivity.

A Poem

Roses are red,

Violets are blue,

Stop memes about Harambe

-Cincinnati Zoo

I have the eye of a tiger, the heart of a lion,

And a lifetime ban from the zoo.

Did you know that penguins scream during sex?

Well, I don't think all of them do, but the ones I cornered at the zoo sure did...

A woman walking down the city sidewalk with an adult lion is confronted by a police officer

He: "Lady, you must take that animal directly to the zoo!"

She: "I will do that right away, officer."

The next day, the officer is exasperated to see her and the lion walking down the sidewalk again.

He: "I told you to get that animal to the zoo!"

She: "That was yesterday. Today we are going to the beach."

A man finds a penguin on the road...

A man finds a penguin on the road side. Thinking the penguin is lost the man takes it, drives until finding a police officer and asks what to do.
- Take it to the zoo replies the officer.

One week latter the policer officer sees the man driving with the penguin by his side.

What are you doing with that penguin ? I told you to bring him to the zoo.

I did exactly that. He loved it and now we are going to the movies .

I went to the zoo and saw a piece of toast in a cage.

The sign said "Bread in captivity".

So a man is walking a penguin down the street...

So a man is walking a penguin down the street on a lead. A policeman sees him and stops the man.

The policeman says, "what are you doing?! Take that penguin to the zoo!"

A week later, the policeman sees the man with the penguin again.

He says, "hey, I thought I told you to take that penguin to the zoo!"

The man replies: "I did! He loved it! We're going to the theme park tomorrow!"

I went to a zoo one time and all they had was a dog.

It was a shih tzu.

FRESH HARAMBE OF BELL AIR....

In west Cincinnati I was born and raised on the zoo grounds is where I spent most of my days,Chillin out hangin out acting all cool, eating bananas out by the pool When a mom and her kid, they were up to no good, crawled over the fence into my neighborhood,I got in one little fight and my zoo keeper got scared, heard a gunshot just before I stopped breathing air.......

What do you get when you inject human DNA into a goat?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

I got fired form the zoo.

Apparently the sign "Don't feed the animals" was only meant for the visitors.

Kinda corny but it did actually crack me up...

Q. What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?
A. Banned from the Zoo.

I met my girlfriend whilst visiting the London Zoo.

Straight away I knew she was a keeper.

I have the heart of a lion...

and a lifelong ban from the zoo.

My grandfather has a heart of a tiger.

He also has a lifetime ban at the zoo.

What do you get when you mix human DNA and Gorilla DNA?

Kicked out of the zoo.

Roses are Red, Violets are blue......

who killed harambe?

Cincinnati zoo

Monkey Business

A zookeeper notices the lonely female gorilla is feeling depressed and needs to cheer her up again. He asks the redneck janitor of the zoo if he'll have sex with the gorilla for $500.
The redneck says that he'll do it under 2 conditions.
Ok, says the zookeeper, what are they?
I don't want anyone to ever find out.
Ok, done! What's your second condition?
The redneck says; "I'll need an extra week to come up with the five hundred dollars."

A funny story

A man had a bunch of penguins in his truck, when suddenly a police officer came and asked him what was in the truck, the man said "My penguins," The police said to take the penguins to the zoo.

The next day, the police officer came back asking where the penguins were. The man said, "They're in my truck. The police officer replied, "I thought I told you to take them to the zoo," "I did," replied the man, ''Today I'm taking them to the beach."

I took a job at a zoo performing elephant circumcisions

The benefits aren't great, but the tips are huge.

I went to a zoo the other day. The only animal they had was a dog

It was a shitzu.

A man goes to a zoo and is disappointed to find it has only one animal, a dog

It's a Shih Tzu.

On the anniversary of Harambe's death...

the Cincinnati Zoo should have special deals all day. Discounts for Harambe.

I lost my kid at the zoo the other day....

I couldn't find him, so they just shot all the animals.

Tried translating a joke from Latvian.

John, a rural farmer, decided to visit the zoo in the capital with his family. He has a lot of fun, and comes back ecstatic. His neighbor
Tolya asks him what he saw there.

"Well, I saw a giraffe."

"What's a giraffe?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like a horse, but really tall and with a long neck."

"Okay, what else?"

"Zebra."

"Zebra?"

"Well, you know horses?"

"Yeah."

"It's like a horse, but with stripes."

"Okay, what else then?"

"I saw a hippo. "

"What's that?"

"You know horses?"

"Yeah?"

"Like a horse, but big and fat."

"Hm. Okay. Anything else?"

"Yes... a crocodile."

"What's a crocodile?"

"You know horses?"

"Yeah?"

"Nothing like one."

A zookeeper wishes to buy some new animals from another wildlife park.

She writes:

Dear sir, We are a recently opened zoo and are looking to purchase 2 mooses. "No that doesn't sound right." She thinks.

We are looking to purchase 2 meese. "No that can't be right either."

Dear sir, I wish to inquire about purchasing a moose. Kind Regards.

P.S. Please send another moose along with the first.

I used to work at the zoo, where my job was to circumcise Elephants.

The pay was rubbish, but the tips were huge!

A boy sees an alligator in the zoo

A boy sees an alligator in the zoo and shouts

"Hey are you a caiman?"



"I'm alright, thanks kid!" He replies

I have the eyes of a hawk, the ears of a fox…

and a lifetime ban from the zoo.

A zoo's only gorilla dies...

so the zookeeper hires an actor to wear a gorilla costume until the zoo can get another one.

In the gorilla pen the actor makes faces, beats his chest, swings around, and soon draws a huge crowd. Encouraged, he then crawls atop a beam across the lion's enclosure, taunting the animal below. But, in horror, he lost his grip, falling into the lion's cage.

Terrified, the actor shouts, Help! Help me! Too late. The lion pounces, opens its massive jaws, and whispers urgently, Shut up! Do you want to get us both fired?!

For my summer job, I worked at the zoo, circumsizing elephants

The pay wasn't great, but the tips were enormous!

Why was the snake pressed againt the glass at the zoo?

He wanted to be a windshield viper.

Cop sees a blonde with a bunch of penguins in the back of her car

So he stops her and asks her what she is doing with a bunch of penguins. She says she just saw them on the road and opened the door and they got in.

"You've got to take those penguins to the zoo," he says. Next day he sees her again with the penguins still in the back of her car.

Cop: Lady I thought I told you to take those penguins to the zoo.

Blonde: I did and we had such a good time, today we're going to the park.

I have the heart of a lion...

and a lifetime ban at the zoo

What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA?

Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters.

I got a job at the zoo circumcising Elephants.

The pay sucks but the tips are huge.

What happens if you get human DNA in a goat?

You get banned from the petting zoo.

What do you get when you mix human and goat dna?

Kicked out of the petting zoo.

My Grandfather has the heart of a lion!

And a ban from the cincinnati zoo

Horror at the zoo

A man is at the zoo with his family. Suddenly a flustered employee comes up and says

*Sir, sir! There's been a terrible accident!*

The man responds, *What happened?*

*Your mother-in-law fell into the alligator pool!*

The man, supremely calm, says to the worker, *Not my problem! You try to save those alligators.*

A man walks into a zoo

But he finds no animals, except a dog. He finds a zookeeper and asks him, "what's so special about this dog that you guys got rid of the other animals?"

The zookeeper replies, "Nothing, it's just a shitzu."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the zoo tzu jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working zoo zookeeper piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes