Zone Jokes
131 zone jokes and hilarious zone puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zone that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article is filled with humorous jokes about different types of zones - friend zone, time zone, twilight zone, comfort zone, K zone, metro zone, danger zone, DMZ, and areas for Alabamians. Discover the hilarity of these jokes that can be shared with family and friends.
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Funniest Zone Short Jokes
Short zone jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The zone humour may include short area jokes also.
- When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet
- I just got kicked out of karaoke night for singing "Danger Zone" six times in a row… They said I exceeded my maximum number of Loggins attempts…
- How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a lightbulb? How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to change a light bulb?
None. They just compliment it and get mad when it won't screw. - Yo mama is so fat that… She needs to wear a watch on both wrists because of time zone difference.
- McDonald's has paused operations in Russia. They've successfully established a No Fry Zone.
- McDonalds has decided to close all operations in Russia They're calling it a "no fry" zone.
- Time zones are very confusing. Like it's may 2 in australia, may 1 in europe and 1954 in america
- Sir you don't need to be tailgating me I'm already going 55mph in a 35mph zone And the lights on top of your car look ridiculous
- I'm not gonna make fun of my grandfather's driving skills anymore. Apparently parking zones disease is a real thing.
- I was booed off stage and locked out of a karaoke bar for singing Danger Zone too many times very poorly They told me I had too many unsuccessful Loggins attempts
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Zone One Liners
Which zone one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with zone? I can suggest the ones about arena and axis.
- In Europe, they don't call it the "Friend Zone" They call it the "Pal Region"
- Why cant michael jackson go within 500m of a school zone... Because he's dead
- Pedophiles may be bad people... ... but at least they drive slow through the school zones
- What is one good thing about child molesters? They drive slowly in the school zones
- Why did the accordion player go to jail? He was caught playing polka in a no-polka zone.
- Girl, you're like speeding in a construction zone… Double Fine
- Why do spiders hate Area 51? It's a no-fly zone.
- What do you call a frog in the no parking zone? Toad
- They banned all McDonald's in Russia That makes it a 'no fry' zone
- Pedophiles aren't all that bad at least they go slow in school zones!
- What's annoying about going 90 in a school zone? The screaming speed bumps
- I wake up at 6AM everyday In someone else's time zone
- Holocaust jokes are... out of Mein Kamf-ort zone, Anne Frank-ly I find them offensive.
- What is another name for the disabled stall in a restroom? A handicrapped zone.
- Why was the bodybuilder arrested at the elementary school? Because it was a gun-free zone
Time Zone Jokes
Here is a list of funny time zone jokes and even better time zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I got kicked out of the karaoke bar for singing "Danger Zone" too many times They lock you out after 5 Loggins attempts.
- Yo mama so fat she needed two wrist watches cause shes in two time zones.
- What time zone does Josef Fritzl live in? In CEST.
- Time zones are crazy On new years eve some parts of the world are in 2017, some are in 2016, and a large portion of the U.S. is still stuck in 1940.
- Samoa is in 2 time zones Some of those people are living in the past
- The Communist Party changed things so that China uses single time zone. It's always Party time.
- time zones are amazing, it's a different time all around the world! for example, in some parts of the U.S, it's still 1950
- What time zone are you in when you find a sheep stuck in a fence? Mountin' time
- North Korea changes its time zone to match South Korea Pyong-GOOOOOOOONNNNGGGG
- Yo mama so fat when she tossed in her sleep she woke up in another time zone.
Friend Zone Jokes
Here is a list of funny friend zone jokes and even better friend zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- The Friend zone. It's like being turned down for a job, then they call you a week later complaining about the person they hired.
- How Many Friend Zoned Men Does It Take To Screw In A Lightbulb? None, they just all stand around complaining that it won't screw!
- Me and a friend go in a bar... My friend who is homosexual was high, so he was looking zoned out.
The bartender asked why he looked confused. I said because he wasn't thinking straight. - With all this controversy about being friend zoned made me nervous,so one day I bent down and hugged my best friend and told her I love her,and she licked my face and wagged her tail!
- How many guys in the friend-zone does it take to change a light bulb? Zero, they just keep complimenting it and complain when it doesn't screw.
- What is the friend zone? It's the space between girlfriend and girl friend.
- What's the difference between high school and the friend zone? I have a chance of making it out of high school.
- How many "friend zoned" guys does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None! They can't screw anything.
- How to not feel sad when you are friend-zoned? Asking for a friend.
- Autocorrect has friend zoned me. It said that it loves me like a brothel.
Danger Zone Jokes
Here is a list of funny danger zone jokes and even better danger zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do scottish people sing 'Danger Zone' when they forget their password? Because they Kenny Loggin.
- I got kicked out of the Karaoke bar last night for singing Danger Zone, then Footloose, then I'm Alright ... ...too many attempted Logging's...
- Did you hear that the guy that wrote Danger Zone had his identity stolen online? They got all his Kenny logins
- What does the singer of Danger Zone and other hits call his usernames and passwords? Kenny Log-ins.
- What function puts you in the danger zone The LOG^^^gins function!
- You better call Kenny Loggins CAUSE YOU'RE IN THE DANGER ZONE!
Twilight Zone Jokes
Here is a list of funny twilight zone jokes and even better twilight zone puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do you take toilet paper to the twilight zone? DODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODODO
- Why does it smell in the Twilight Zone? ^doo ^^doo ^doo doo ^doo ^^doo ^doo doo
- If *The Twilight Zone* had its own currency, what would its motto be? "In Rod We Trust."
- The Twilight Zone enters the Chuck Norris Zone.
- No one in this earth was born in The Twilight Zone Except maybe for Kim King Un
- Why should you always carry toilet paper to the twilight zone? d**... d**...
Cheerful Fun Zone Jokes for Lovely Laughter
What funny jokes about zone you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tour jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make zone pranks.
An Alabama cop is sitting behind a billboard on the highway doing radar.
Suddenly he sees a teenager in a Mustang fly by him doing 125mph in a 60mph zone.
He flips on his lights and goes after the kid finally catching up to him 2-miles down the road.
The cop walks up to the Mustang and says "Son, I been wait'n fer you all day!"
The kid replies "Sorry Officer, I got here as fast as I could!"
Hans the Norwegian
Hans was arrested for speeding... driving 66 miles an hour in a 50 mph zone. However, he explained to the officer,
"I saw a big sign vit 66 on it."
"That's Highway 66," the officer said disgustedly.
"Goodness sakes," replied Hans, "you should have seen me yesterday on highway 110!"
Dating a r**...
The only thing worse than the friend zone is the family zone. But when a r**... says she loves you like a brother, its go time.
A cop sees a car going slowly down the highway...
The cop pulls the car over and sees an old lady at the wheel, and three passengers who look terrified.
"Ma'am, were you aware you were going 34 miles an hour in an 80 zone?"
"I saw it say 34 on the sign"
"Ma'am, that's the route number. Why does everyone in your car look so traumatized?"
One of the passengers says in a shaky voice "We just got off of route 137."
When girls change their clothes in front of you...
When girls change their clothes in front of you, she either really wants the D, you're in friend zone level 99 or..
she hasn't noticed you in the tree yet.
I got arrested today
I got arrest today, apparently you aren't allowed to do doughnuts within 200ft of a school zone... the frosting worked as great lubricant though
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Do you guys know the difference between "girlfriend" and "girl friend?"
... that little empty void in the middle..
Known as the "friend zone" ..
Ukrainian authorities are planning to turn the Chernobyl exclusion zone into an amusement park
They say the only difference between it and Disneyland will be that the six foot tall mouse isn't a costume.
I got pulled over today for going 112 mph in a 55 mph zone.
The police officer said "I've been waiting for someone like you all day."
I promptly replied "Well I got here as fast as I could!"
I'm so deep in the friend zone...
Even Vietnamese h**... say, "me LIKE you long time. Like a brother."
I was trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. She put me in the brother zone...
Good thing I live in Alabama!
What is the area at the Danish/German border called?
The DaneGer zone!
I'll show myself out.
Where do the good guys go?
The friend zone...
Grammar n**... really make me fuhrious.
I'm sorry. That joke was really out of mein kampfort zone.
Anne Frankly, it was just bad.
Girl I like keeps putting me in the "dad zone"
Good thing this weekend is Father's Day.
It's true I misunderstood what you meant by "take me to the bone zone"
but you must admit this is a very nice graveyard.
What do you call a place where they don't allow sleeveless shirts?
A gun free zone
Theres no point in tailgating me when I'm going 50 in a 35 zone
Also, those red flashing lights on your car look ridiculous
I couldn't use my phone at the f**...
It was a dead zone
I left a gorilla in a tow zone
I ape-haul-ogize
Did you know you can tell what kind of area you're driving in by the bumps in the road?
A few big bumps means you should probably slow down.
Lots of little bumps means you're in a school zone.
China's time zone is 28 days behind ours.
"Chinese New Year"
I hate talking with Jewish people
It really takes me out of Mein Kampfort zone!
My wife and I were driving home last night, both of us feeling h**...…
We couldn't wait to get home, so I pulled into a quiet road and we got down to it.
Then a cop on a motorbike came round the corner and gave me a ticket.
I said "What the f**...'s this for?"
He replied, "That's for doing 69 in a 30 zone."
What do you call a sitcom that takes place in a war zone?
Minefeld
*Plays Seinfeld theme with gunshots*
A cop pulled me over.....
and said I was doing 70 in a 50 mph zone. I explained I was only trying to keep a safe distance from the car behind.
Women are like planets...
It's hard to find ones in the habitable zone, and when you do, they're usually overrun with demons.
Your girlfriend is so ugly
When she walks by a construction zone , workers get back to work
A cop pulls over a couple in a convertible for going way below the speed limit on a highway.
Cop: Are you aware that you were going 17 in a 60 zone?
Driver: No officer, the sign says 17 right there.
Cop: Sir, that's the route sign.
At this point the cop notices that the lady in the passenger seat is frozen in fear, staring forward, and her hair is a mess.
Cop: Sir, is your wife alright?
Driver: Oh, you see, we just got off of i87.
Joke is courtesy of my dad.
Ten reasons why hockey is better than women
1: In hockey, everyone likes rough.
2: You only get 5 minutes for fighting.
3: Puck is not a dirty word.
4: You don't have to play in the neutral zone.
5: It is possible to score a few times a night.
6: When you "pull the goalie," nobody gets pregnant.
7: Missing teeth doesn't stop you from scoring.
8: You can always get new wood if your stick breaks.
9: The Zamboni cleans up your mess.
10: Periods last twenty minutes!
What is oxygen's favourite place?
The O zone
How do you call a no Wifi zone in Russia?
Internyet
A frog
What happens to a frog that hopped onto a no parking zone? It gets toad.
Skydiving humor
A news reporter was doing a story about skydiving and so he visited a drop zone and went for a ride on the plane to watch everyone jump. One of the plane's engines quit and all the skydivers immediately went out the door. Then the pilot put on his own parachute rig and headed toward the open door himself. The reporter yelled "What's happening? Is everything all right?" and the pilot said "Don't panic. I'm going to get help."
A cop pulls over 3 old ladies
A cop pulls over 3 old ladies doing 20 in a 65mph zone. The cop walks up to the window.
"How can I help you officer?"
"Did you realize you were doing 20 in a 65mph zone?"
"I thought we were doing the speed limit. It says so right there." The old woman pointed to a sign.
"Ma'am thats the sign saying you're on interstate 20." Just then the officer noticed the two women in back looked extremely frightened. "What's wrong with them?"
"Oh we must have just come off interstate 200."
What do you call a dating app for skeletons?
The bone zone.
Bad news: I got caught going 28 mph in a school zone.
Good news: statutory r**... won't affect my license points.
What is Robert Kraft's favorite football play?
The rub and tug in the end zone.
When she says "I want a boyfriend exactly like you, but not you.", which zone am I in?
For example zone
A man is pulled over for speeding
A man is pulled over for speeding.
The officer says Sir, did you know you were going 68mph in a 60 zone?
The man replies 68? Uh, is there any way you could make it slightly higher? I... I think it would be funny to hear a judge say it.
The very confused officer agrees to his request.
A few days later, in traffic court, the judge looks at the papers and says How the h**... did you go 420mph!?
In Seattle, the Capitol Hill Autonomous Zone is looking for a musician/philanthropist to support the cause
i.e. a CHAZ Bono
What did one doughnut say to the other...
...you look a little glazed
The sheriff of a small Texan town pulled over a Porsche that was doing 60 miles per hour in a 30-mile an hour zone.
The man behind the wheel, a San Francisco law associate, was steaming. When he was finally brought before the local magistrate, he exploded, "I can't believe you stopped me. This town must be the a**... of the world!"
There was a five second pause as the magistrate looked at him. Then he asked, "You just passing through?"
A band visited the Chernobyl Exclusion Zone without a guide.
Everyone suffered from radiation poisoning, except the lead guitarist.
My ex wife dented the hood of my car.
To be honest, was partly my fault. I *was* driving 55 mph in a 25 mph zone.
I was told to get out of my comfort zone
So I started driving on the other side of the road
Not only I'm I uncomfortable, but so is everybody else
Splash Zone
I have the same rule for a p**... contest contest as I do for Sea World. I'm down to watch but I don't want to be anywhere close enough that I might get wet
Authorities in Lake Tahoe are on the lookout for three bears that have collectively broken into more than 30 homes
Current leads suggest that the bears' location to be somewhere in the goldilock zone
With McDonalds closing all around Russia I guess that means it is a..
..no fry zone.
(Credit to my dad for the joke)
Did you know that McDonald's closed all its stores in Russia? (True fact.)
Yep. They decided to turn Russia into a no-fry zone.
Police pulls over a car driving 15 mph in a 70 mph speed zone
It was an older woman driving. He asks her why she was driving slow.
She says - "I saw a sign that said I-15, so I thought the speed limit was 15 mph"
Officer - "That is the sign for the Interstate 15. The speed limit is 70 mph on this road"
Then he notices 3 other older ladies in the back seat whose faces were white as a sheet.
He asks the driver whats wrong.
Her - "Oh, we just came off I-215"
I'm already going 75 mph in a 35 zone, stop tailgating me!
Also the blinking lights on top of your car looks s**...
There's so much controversy surrounding school zones
I swear, I see a sign saying "end school zone" in every single one.
