The Best 73 Zombie Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Zombie jokes. There are some zombie woking jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these zombie zombie jesus puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Zombie Jokes and Puns

Do zombies eat popcorn with their fingers?

No, they eat the fingers separately.

So a Nun, a Rabi, a Lion, a Zombie, a Leprechaun, a goldfish, a Space Alien, a pair of Siamese twins, and a blonde walk into a bar.

The bartender looks at them and says, "Is this some kind of a joke?"

Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Cause the zombies are looking for braaaaaaaains

Zombie joke, Why is sorority row the safest place to be during a zombie invasion?

Why is the South the best place to hide in case of zombie takeover?

Southerner zombies don't have any teeth to bite with.

What do you call a bunch of zombie chickens?

The Bawking Dead


What happened to the brain eating zombie that went to Washington?

He starved to death.

Two Zombies Are Having A Conversation..

Two zombies start talking about their past lives as humans. The main talker is rambling on and on about what he would have been. Suddenly, the second starts walking around normally, not stumbling into everything. The first is amazed and stares at him. "How.. did you do that?", he asks. The second realizes what he's doing and stops, looking back to the first. "Oh, I'm sorry. You just bored me back to life."

Zombie joke, Two Zombies Are Having A Conversation..

When a vegetarian turns into a zombie, what does it eat?

Coma patients.

Dyslexic Zombie

What does a dyslexic zombie eat?

Brians

Please join me. My daughter an I did this for hours one day.

Zombie phlebotomist, veinnnnns.
Zombie engineer, traaaaiiins.
Zombie Dixie Chicks fan, Natalie Maiiiinns.

A man came up to me and told me he was a zombie.

I didn't believe him, but he was dead serious.

You can explore zombie wolfman reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean zombie ghoul dad jokes. There are also zombie puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A man dressed as a harry potter character came up to me and told me he was a zombie.

I thought he was kidding, but he was Dead Sirius.

Why did the Zombie baseball pitcher retire?

He threw his arm out.

Why did the zombie move into a studio apartment?

Because he didn't need a living room anymore!

I was engaged to a zombie

but it fell apart.

Zombie Apocalypse has begun...

Man, it's hectic out there. I've killed like 6 zombies already. How's everyone else holding up? Anyone know why they all have bags of candy?

Zombie joke, Zombie Apocalypse has begun...

What did the zombie say when he walked into the wrong tomb?

I have made a grave mistake.

Two guys are chatting

When the topic of jobs comes up.

Man 1: "What do you do for a living?"

Man 2: "I hunt down and kill zombies."

Man 1: "That's crazy! Zombies don't exist!"

Man 2: "Have you ever seen a zombie?"

Man 2: "No..."

Man 1: "You're welcome."

I bought zombie insurance recently

it was a no brainer


What do you get from a frozen zombie?

Frost bite. ;D

So God, a Jew and a Zombie walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "Hey Jesus"

What does a buff zombie want?

Gaaaaaaaiiiinnnnnnnnnssssss.

what did the zombie say when he prank-called someone?

"deez gutz"

Why did the zombie start ripping up sheet music?

Because he was de-composing.

If there's ever a zombie apocalypse, I really hope it starts in Vegas

Because what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.

What do you call a cripple in a zombie apocalypse?

Meals On Wheels!

What do zombies speak?

Latin...Its a dead language

Where do you go during a zombie apocalypse?

The living room.

What do zombie college students eat?

Raw-men

What do zombies with dyslexia eat?

Brians.

What do you call it when a zombie steals an idea

Plaguegiarism

Jesus Christ dafuq is wrong with me

What do you call a lawsuit against a zombie?

Deceased and desist

It was only after I'd shot the fifth zombie...

...that I started to wonder why they were all carrying little bags of candy with them.

Why did the zombie herd ignore the feminist?

Because they were hungry for brains

As soon as the Zombie Apocalypse hits

I'm grabbing a sledgehammer and heading down to the local cemetery for the greatest game of Whack-A-Mole ever.

A zombie walks into a brain store

On the shelves, a pound of C++ programmers' brain sells for $500, of Java programmers, $1000, and of PHP programmers, $1,000,000. The zombie gets confused and asks the store owner why PHP programmers' brain is so much more expensive. The owner says "do you know how many PHP programmers I kill to get one pound of brain?"

What do you call a zombie with a hickey?

A necromancer.

RIP GEORGE A ROMERO

What is considered an apocalypse by a zombie?

A Necrophiliac outbreak

What did the zombie say to the prostitute?

"Keep the tip"

What does it take to become a zombie?

Deadication

What does a Vegan zombie eat?

Graaaaaaaaaaaaiiiins!

And they love to tell you about it.

What does a vegan zombie eat?

Graaains

Imagine being in Walmart during the zombie apocalypse

On one side are lumbering, fat things with mucus coming out there nose dragging themselves across the ground and on the other side are zombies

What do zombie bodybuilders want more than anything?

GaaAAAiiNnns!!

What does a vegan zombie eat?

Ggrrraaaaiiinnnnssssss

"Hey. Did you know I'm a zombie hunter?"

"What? Zombies don't exist."

"You're welcome."

I'm reading a book about a zombie dog.

Can't put it down.

Why did the Zombie miss her wedding?

Cold feet

A zombie walks into a bar.

Bartender: We don't serve zombies around here!

Zombie: That's fine. Is the human fresh?

What does a vegan zombie moan?

graaaiins...

Who's Denmark's greatest Zombie actor?

Rigor Mortissen

What did the dyslexic Zombie crave?

Brians

News headline indicates there's been a zombie outbreak in North Korea

Headline: Kim Jong, Un-Dead

What does a vegetarian zombie eat?

Graiinnnsss!!

Did you hear about the dyslexic zombie?

He only eats Brians

What does a vegetarian zombie say?

Grains! Grains!

What does a dyslexic zombie eat?

Brians..

Roaming Zombie

A zombie was roaming through the woods looking for something to eat.

He came across two men - one sitting under a tree and reading a book, & the other typing away on his typewriter.

The zombie quickly pounced on the man reading the book and started to devour him.

Because even a brain dead zombie knows that readers digest and writers cramp.

What was the name of the zombie a cappella group?

Resonant Evil

What do you call a zombie sleepover?

A mass grave.

During a zombie apocalypse

Normal Zombies: BRAAINNNNSSS!!
Vegetarian Zombies: GRAAINNNNSSS!!
Body Builder Zombies: GAAINNNNSSS!!
Plumber Zombies: DRAAINNNNSSS!!
Conductor Zombies: TRAAINNNNSSS!!
Weatherman Zombies: RAAINNNNSSS!!
Gamer Zombies: GAMMMMESSS!!
Depressed Zombies: PAINNNNSSS!!
Batman Zombie: BANNNNEEE!!

What does a vegan zombie say?

GRRRAAAAAIIIINSSSS!

Why was the zombie embarrassed in bed?

He had resurrectile disfunction

What do you call a sleepy zombie?

A Zzzzzzzzzzzombie!

Why did the girl fall in love with the zombie?

She said he was just so infectious

What does a vegetarian zombie eat?

Graaaaains

Why did zombies attack the hospital?

To eat their vegetables.

What does a vegan zombie eat?

Graaaaaaaaaaains

What do you call a zombie making stir-fry?

Dead man woking

What do Zombies think when they see someone with a red hat and no mask?

That's a no brainer

Can zombies do yoga?

Of corpse knot!

Why is the deep south US the safest place to relocate during the zombie apocalypse?

Toothless zombies can't bite.

What do you call a zombie that cooks stir-frys ?

Dead Man Wok-ing ...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the zombie ghost jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working zombie zombie apocalypse piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes