Zodiac Jokes
75 zodiac jokes and hilarious zodiac puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zodiac that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article contains jokes about each of the zodiac signs.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Zodiac Short Jokes
Short zodiac jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The zodiac humour may include short horoscope jokes also.
- My uncle's zodiac sign was Cancer, which was ironic, because he died from being crushed by a giant crab.
- Started smoking for this girl who told me she was into people with cancer Turns out she was talking about zodiacs. Anyway I've got three months to live.
- What is your zodiac sign? Doctor: What is your zodiac sign?
Patient: Cancer.
Doctor: What a coincidence... - I had a friend whose zodiac sign was cancer. The way he died was very ironic... He got was eaten by a giant crab.
- The zodiac sign of a friend of mine was cancer, which was very ironic because of how he died. He was eaten by a large crab.
- Break up My boyfriend just broke up with me, he was sick and tired of my constant zodiac puns.
It Taurus apart.
I'm in Pisces typing this - Every Zodiac sign has a haircut . . . Except Cancer (in honor of my dad who lost his hair to chemo!)
- Historians have proved that people with every zodiac sign survived the sinking of the Titanic... Except Leo
- My cousins zodiac sign was cancer. Kinda ironic how she died. She got eaten by a giant crab.
- A kid goes to a doctor. The doctor asks:
"So what's your zodiac sign?"
The kid responds:
"Cancer."
The doctor:
"Oh,what a coincidence!"
Share These Zodiac Jokes With Friends
Zodiac One Liners
Which zodiac one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with zodiac? I can suggest the ones about astrology sign and astrology.
- Did you know that every zodiac sign has different hair? Well, besides cancer.
- I believe every Zodiac sign has its own signature hairstyle. Except Cancer.
- Every zodiac has a signature hairstyle... Except for cancer
- My wife left me because of my constant zodiac puns. It finally Taurus apart.
- Every zodiac sign comes with a signature hairstyle... Except cancer
- Every Zodiac sign has a signature hairstyle For instance, people with cancer are bald
- The real Zodiac Killer is... Cancer.
- Did you hear about the Zodiac killer? I heard he cut his victims in to little pisces!
- I'm cancer free! Now I'm dating a girl with different zodiac sign.
- What were the Zodiac Killer's Plans for Vacation? To take a Cruz.
- What zodiac sign doesn't have hair Cancer
- Today my dad beat cancer. By the way what is your mom's zodiac sign?
- What do the zodiac signs use to pay for coffee? Starbucks
- I don't believe in zodiac signs... But that's only because I am a Taurus.
- My grandmother was a Cancer zodiac, and ironically...
Signs Of The Zodiac Jokes
Here is a list of funny signs of the zodiac jokes and even better signs of the zodiac puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My barber is big into astrology, and told me that every zodiac sign corresponds to a certain hairstyle, except for one Cancer.
- Doctor: "what's your zodiac sign?" Patient: "I'm a cancer, why?"
Doctor: "oh, what a coincidence!" - You wanna hear about something ironic? My grandma's zodiac sign was Cancer. She was killed... by a giant crab.
- I hope all girls get cancer As their Zodiac Sign because that would make the perfect match for me
- I wish every woman in the world had cancer. As their astrological sign, of course. It'd mean they're my perfect zodiac match.
- "what zodiac sign are you?" "dinosaur"
"but this doesn't exist".
"neither do others" - Thanos zodiac sign Libra, since he likes "balanced" things
- The only two things that Zodiac signs get right: 1.Some people are twins
2.Some people are cancer - -What's your zodiac sign? -Tyrannosaurus.
-But that's not even a real sign.
-None of the zodiac signs are real. - doctor: your test results have come patient: what does it say?
doctor : but first , what is your zodiac sign?
patient: cancer, but why ?
doctor : what a coincidence !
Zodiac Cancer Jokes
Here is a list of funny zodiac cancer jokes and even better zodiac cancer puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My wife died last week It's ironic because her zodiac symbol was cancer. She was killed by a giant crab
- Last week I found out what my Zodiac was Apparently I'm a Cancer. I was devestated at first, because I was hoping to get Capricorn, but its really started to grow on me!
- I believe in the Zodiac I'm a Pisces, by far my favorite type of fairy. Something a bit tragic, my grandmother was a Cancer, and she was actually killed by a giant tumor.
- I figured out the zodiac killer case It was cancer.
- A man goes to the docter Man: Well doctor, what's the diagnosis?
Doctor: What's your zodiac sign?
Man: Cancer.
Doctor: What a coincidence! - Did you know my grandma's zodiac is cancer Ironically she was killed by a giant crab
- One of my friends dates men based on their Zodiac sign. I told her that she must be a Cancer.
- - Doctor, what has the workup shown? \- What zodiac sign is yours?
\- Cancer.
\- Coincidence... - Have you heard about the new Web MD zodiac? All the signs say Cancer.
- I'm sorry Madam, your child has cancer... ...as his zodiac sign.
Zodiac Sign Jokes
Here is a list of funny zodiac sign jokes and even better zodiac sign puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- By asking 4 questions i can tell what your zodiac sign is 1. What's your favorite color?
2. What's your mother's maiden name?
3. What's your social security number?
4. What's your birthday? - Dark humour \- Doctor, what has the workup shown?
\- What zodiac sign are you?
\- Сancer
\- Coincidence...
- How do you speak to a deaf Ted Cruz? Use zodiac signs
- My wife's zodiac sign was cancer.. ..and it's quite ironic how she died really.
She was executed - How can you ask a Mexican if their zodiac sign is leo? Julio
- You are so sweet... ...is your zodiac sign caries?
- I broke up with my girlfriend because of Zodiac signs incompatibility She is a Pisces, and I don't believe in b**....
Zodiac Symbols Jokes
Here is a list of funny zodiac symbols jokes and even better zodiac symbols puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- My aunt's zodiac symbol was cancer, pretty ironic how she died It was cancer.
Charming Humor Zodiac Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about zodiac you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean astrological sign jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make zodiac pranks.
According to the Chinese Zodiac, 2020 was the Year of the Rat
So we've been spending the entire year holed up, only briefly leaving to get food, running at the sight of other humans, and transmitting infection.
An astrologer went to the doctor for her lab results.
*Before the doctor could say anything, the astrologer asks* What's your zodiac sign?
Doctor: Gemini
Astrologer: I knew it, Gemini are the most studious of all the zodiac sign.
Doctor: What's your zodiac sign?
Astrologer: Cancer.
Doctor: **What a coincidence.**
My thoughts on zodiac signs
Like I don't mind them in general, but I hate it when people bring them up all the time.
So this one time I called my friend and asked him if he wanted to go to the mall with me.
He said, No dude, I can't, I have cancer.
After getting away with m**... for 52 years, the Zodiac Killer has revealed his identity to the press.
He didn't want to be associated with Ted Cruz.
So a lady was waiting at the doctor's...
The doctor is obsessed with the stars, and is a junior astrologist, so, naturally, he asks the woman what her Zodiac symbol is. She responds; "Cancer, why?". "What a coincidence..." Said the Doctor.