The Best 49 Zipper Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Zipper jokes. There are some zipper arrgghh jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these zipper ziploc puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Zipper Jokes and Puns

Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Scots vs English

Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards.

Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf.

What has 341 teeth and holds back The Hulk?

My zipper.

Zipper joke, What has 341 teeth and holds back The Hulk?

What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla?

my zipper!

What has 100 teeth and keeps Godzilla at bay?

My zipper


A pirate walks into a bar...

... with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper. The bartender notices, and says to the pirate, "Hey, buddy. You know you got a steering wheel coming out of your pants?" The pirate looks at the bartender with an annoyed stare and says, "Arrrrr! I know. It's driving me nuts."

What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla?

My zipper

Zipper joke, What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla?

A pirate walks into a bar

And the bartender says, "hey, you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your zipper?". The pirate replies,"arrr, I know, it's driving me nuts".

What has 52 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper. I overheard my grandpa tell that joke as a kid and it always made me laugh.

To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "your garage is open"

I said, "did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?"

She said "No, but i did see your mini cooper with two flat tires"

What has 72 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk?

My zipper.

You can explore zipper fly reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean zipper sewn dad jokes. There are also zipper puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A Mothers Secret

A mom was teaching her 4 year old son to zip up his jacket.

The secret, she explained, is getting the little straight piece all the way into the little slot before you pull up the zipper.

Her son looked up at her and said, Mom, why does that have to be a secret?

What has 65 teeth and holds back the beast?

My pants zipper.

Why do Arabs wear thawbs?

Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.

How do you make an elephant fly?

First, you get a great big zipper...

What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping?

My zipper.

Zipper joke, What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping?

Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas?

He can't find the zipper

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper...

He sets up at the bar and orders a drink. The bar tender says, "whooaa whoaaa, before I serve you a drink, whats up with the steering wheel coming out of your zipper?" The pirate just says, "yaarrg its drivin' me nuts"

Why do the Scottish wear kilts?

So they don't scare the sheep with the sound of a zipper.


Why does isis wear robes?

Goats can hear a zipper a mile away

A pirate walks into a bar

The bartender says to him:

"Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"

The pirate replies:

"AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!"

What has 140 metal teeth and holds back the world's biggest monster?

My zipper.

An old man is walking around with his zipper opened.

His wife notices and turns to him and tells him to zip up his zipper

Which he relpies, "Why? What cant get up can't get out."

Why should you alway keep your zipper up while in Russia?

Because otherwise Chernobyl fallout.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

What has a hundred teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper

The bar tender comments on it, and the pirate responds "Arrgh it's driving me nuts!".

A pirate walks in with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper...

His matey asks, "Aarrr, why is there a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"

The pirate respond, "Aarrr, it's me wife, she drives me nuts."

Being in the zipper business is kind of like being in a relationship.

It has its ups and downs.

A pirate walks into a bar...

A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his zipper and the bartender takes one look at him and says "hey you have a steering wheel hanging out of your zipper. " and the pirates says. "arrgh it's drivin me nuts!"

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

...because sheep run at the sound of a zipper

Zippity do dah

My grandfather was having a nice suit made at a tailor shop. The tailor asked him "Would you prefer a button fly or zipper?" He thought about it for a while and said" Buttons please, they are quieter in the movies."

How do boys figure out how to use a zipper?

They learn on the fly.

Why should you do up your zipper when you go to Ukraine?

Chernobyl fall out

Why do you always close your zipper when visiting Ukraine?

Cause Chernobyl fallout.

What has 32 teeth and hides a monster?

My zipper

What has 100 teeth and protects a beast.

A zipper

How can you scare people with your impression of an elephant?

Turn both of your pants pockets inside out, and say, hey, you ever seen my impression of an elephant? while reaching for your zipper.

Why does the Scotsman wear a kilt?

Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.

An Arrogant Boss

The secretary saw that her boss' zipper was open when he walked out of the bathroom.

Hey boss, "Your garage door is open."

The arrogant boss walked real close to her and said, "I hope you got a good look at my Ferrari."

The witty secretary quickly said, "No, but I did get a glimpse of a small scooter with two deflated wheels."

Why do the Scots wear kilts?

Sheep run away when they hear a zipper.

Went to dinner last night at a restaurant, and there was a fly in my soup.

I wouldn't have normally minded, but the zipper broke my tooth.

The zipper on my jeans came off just before I was about to get on the plane to go on vacation and the airline wouldn't board me.

They said I was on the no fly list.

Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because the sheep learned to run away when they heard a zipper open...

What has a 1000 teeth and holds back a monster?

My zipper.

Why do Scotsman wear kilts?

Sheep can hear a zipper from a kilometer away.

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

Why do Scottish men wear kilts?

The sheep in the field learned to run when they heard a zipper...

Why to Scotsmen wear kilts?

Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away...

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the zipper flap jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working zipper duffel piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes