Zipper Jokes
70 zipper jokes and hilarious zipper puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zipper that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Oh boy! Get ready for some hilarious, irreverent zipper jokes. Whether you're trying to figure out why your zipper won't stay up, what to do when your zipper gets stuck, or something funny to share when someone's zipper is down, you'll find something to tickle your funny bone. Read on and find the perfect joke!
Funniest Zipper Short Jokes
Short zipper jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The zipper humour may include short unzips jokes also.
- The zipper on my jeans came off just before I was about to get on the plane to go on vacation and the airline wouldn't board me. They said I was on the no fly list.
- What do the Scottish people wear kilts? Because sheep can hear the sound of zippers from far away.
- Scots vs English Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Cause sheep can hear a zipper at 50 yards.
Why do the English wear trousers? Cause goats are deaf. - Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Why do Scottish men wear kilts?
The sheep in the field learned to run when they heard a zipper... - Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
Because the sound of zippers scare the sheep away. - Why do the Scottish wear kilts The sheep can hear zippers miles away
- A pirate walks into a bar And the bartender says, "hey, you know you have a steering wheel hanging from your zipper?". The pirate replies,"arrr, I know, it's driving me nuts".
- What has 200 teeth and holds back Godzilla? My zipper
- How do boys figure out how to use a zipper? They learn on the fly.
- To tell me my zipper was open, a girl tells me, "your garage is open" I said, "did you see my ford mustang gt super sport?"
She said "No, but i did see your mini cooper with two flat tires"
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Zipper One Liners
Which zipper one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with zipper? I can suggest the ones about fly unzipped and zippo lighter.
- Why do Scottish men wear kilts? Because the sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
- What has a 1000 teeth and holds back a monster? My zipper.
- What has 182 teeth and holds a small worm? My zipper
- What has 100 teeth and keeps godzilla at bay? My zipper
- Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because a sheep can hear a zipper from 100 meters away.
- What has 125 teeth and prevents a savage beast from escaping? My zipper.
- Why do Scottsmen wear kilts? Because otherwise the sheep would hear the zipper.
- Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear zippers a mile off.
- Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper a mile away.
- What has over a hundred teeth and keeps back Godzilla? my zipper!
- Why do Scotsmen wear kilts? ...because sheep run at the sound of a zipper
- Why to Scotsmen wear kilts? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away...
- Why do Scotsman wear kilts? Sheep can hear a zipper from a kilometer away.
- Why do the Scots wear kilts? Sheep run away when they hear a zipper.
- What has 72 teeth and can hold back the Incredible Hulk? My zipper.
Zipper Down Jokes
Here is a list of funny zipper down jokes and even better zipper down puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why do New zealand farmers now wear kilts? Because the sheep have gotten used to the sound of zippers
- What has 341 teeth and holds back The Hulk? My zipper.
- Why do the Scottish wear kilts? So they don't scare the sheep with the sound of a zipper.
- Why do scotsmen wear kilts? Zippers scare the sheep
- why do highlanders wear kilts? because zippers spook the sheep!
- What has 140 metal teeth and holds back the world's biggest monster? My zipper.
- Why should you do up your zipper when you go to Ukraine? Chernobyl fall out
- Why do they wear skirts in New Zealand? Because sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
- Why do Arabs wear buttoned clothes? Because goats can hear zippers.
- Why do Arabs wear thawbs? Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.
Witty Zipper Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun with Friends
What funny jokes about zipper you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean opener jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make zipper pranks.
A pirate walks into a bar...
... with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper. The bartender notices, and says to the pirate, "Hey, buddy. You know you got a steering wheel coming out of your pants?" The pirate looks at the bartender with an annoyed stare and says, "Arrrrr! I know. It's driving me nuts."
A Mothers Secret
A mom was teaching her 4 year old son to zip up his jacket.
The secret, she explained, is getting the little straight piece all the way into the little slot before you pull up the zipper.
Her son looked up at her and said, Mom, why does that have to be a secret?
What has 65 teeth and holds back the beast?
My pants zipper.
How do you make an elephant fly?
First, you get a great big zipper...
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel coming out of his zipper...
He sets up at the bar and orders a drink. The bar tender says, "whooaa whoaaa, before I serve you a drink, whats up with the steering wheel coming out of your zipper?" The pirate just says, "yaarrg its drivin' me nuts"
Why does isis wear robes?
Goats can hear a zipper a mile away
A pirate walks into a bar
The bartender says to him:
"Hey pirate, are you aware there's a steering wheel coming from your zipper?"
The pirate replies:
"AARRGHH matey, it's drivin' me nuts!"
An old man is walking around with his zipper opened.
His wife notices and turns to him and tells him to zip up his zipper
Which he relpies, "Why? What cant get up can't get out."
What has a hundred teeth and holds back a monster?
My zipper.
A pirate walks in with a steering wheel sticking out of his zipper...
His matey asks, "Aarrr, why is there a steering wheel coming out of your pants?"
The pirate respond, "Aarrr, it's me wife, she drives me nuts."
A pirate walks into a bar...
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel hanging out of his zipper and the bartender takes one look at him and says "hey you have a steering wheel hanging out of your zipper. " and the pirates says. "arrgh it's drivin me nuts!"
Zippity do dah
My grandfather was having a nice suit made at a tailor shop. The tailor asked him "Would you prefer a button fly or zipper?" He thought about it for a while and said" b**... please, they are quieter in the movies."
Why do you always close your zipper when visiting Ukraine?
Cause Chernobyl fallout.
Why does the Scotsman wear a kilt?
Because a sheep can hear a zipper from a mile away.
An Arrogant Boss
The secretary saw that her boss' zipper was open when he walked out of the bathroom.
Hey boss, "Your garage door is open."
The arrogant boss walked real close to her and said, "I hope you got a good look at my Ferrari."
The witty secretary quickly said, "No, but I did get a glimpse of a small scooter with two deflated wheels."
Went to dinner last night at a restaurant, and there was a fly in my soup.
I wouldn't have normally minded, but the zipper broke my tooth.
Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
Because the sheep learned to run away when they heard a zipper open...
A woman noticed an old guy had his zipper down.
She pointed it out to him and he said "did ya see that tall soldier in there standing at full attention?"
She said, "No, but I saw an old veteran sitting on two duffle bags."