Zip Ties Jokes
4 zip ties jokes and hilarious zip ties puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zip ties that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Zip Ties Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good zip ties joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
Man goes into a hardware store...
Says to the shopkeeper, "Can I have a roll of masking tape and some zip ties"
Shopkeeper smiles knowingly, "I'm sorry, thanks to the 50 Shades of Gray film we're out of stock"
The man winces and replies, "OK, just give me a chainsaw and some bin bags"
What does Bruce Willis say when he finds the zip ties?
Zippy tie-yay motherf***er.
Two hunters walking through the forest...
As they're walking they see an anvil, sitting next to a massive hole in the ground with rope tied around it.
Curious as to how deep the hole is they push the anvil in and wait for the splash or thud... nothing. Thinking the hole is too deep they start to walk off. Then, out of no where a goat comes zipping past them screaming at the top of its voice and leaps down the hole.
Confused they walk on and bump into a farmer... he turns and asks if they've seen his goat, they say no, the farmer replies 'That's unbelievable I had him tied to an anvil'
An Indian army camp receives a new commander...
One time there was an army camp in India that just received a new commander. During the new commanders first inspection everything checked out except one thing. There was a camel tied to a tree on the edge of the camp. The commander asked what it was for, one of the soldiers who had been stationed there for a while explained to him that the men sometimes get lonely since there where no woman there so they have the camel. The commander just let that go, but after a few weeks he was feeling very lonely so he ordered the men to bring the camel into his tent. The men did, and he went to work on it. After about an hour the commander came out zipped up his pants and said, "So is that how the other men do it?" One of the men responded, "No we usually just use the camel to ride into town."
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