Zeus Jokes
43 zeus jokes and hilarious zeus puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zeus that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Enjoy hilarious jokes about Zeus and other gods from Greek mythology like Hercules, Aphrodite, and Bifrost. Learn more about these mythical figures and guffaw at their jokes.
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Funniest Zeus Short Jokes
Short zeus jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The zeus humour may include short thunderstorm jokes also.
- An Atheist Walks Into A Bar... An Atheist walks into a bar with God, Thor, and Zeus.
The bartender looks at him and says
"Drinking alone again, I see..." - What did the Mexican say to Zeus? He said, "Jesus"
(If you know Spanish, this is pretty funny) - Why did Zeus shut off the gas when a goddess was out for a jog? Because Demeter was running
- Why was Zeus surprised when Hades married Persephone? He thought their relationship was only Plutonic.
- Why do white people say Jesus H Christ? Because they think that Jesus's middle name is 'Hay-zeus'
- What did Zeus say to Narcissus? "You better watch yourself."
- Zeus Cast Down A Sacred Pile of Cloth for Mere Mortals to Sleep On Mortals: Holy Sheet!
- A conspiracy theorist who doesn't believe in Zeus walks out into a field during a thunderstorm wearing his tinfoil hat to test his theory. Needless to say, he was shocked when he learned the truth.
- What critically acclaimed movie did Zeus star in? The Godfather
- What do you call a belief that states that Zeus' significant other was a man? A Herus-y!
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Zeus One Liners
Which zeus one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with zeus? I can suggest the ones about storm and thunder.
- What do you call a son of Zeus with a bad cold? A Phlegmigod
- What do you call it when Zeus gets gonorrhea? Thunderclap
- What does Zeus wear under his clothes? Thunderwear.
- What do you call a Greek mythology professor who speaks in rhymes? Dr. Zeus
- Why was Zeus embarrassed in his swimsuit? Because of his thunder thighs.
- Christians say "Jesus" Ancient Greek women say "Hey Zeus"
- What did Zeus wear beneath his toga? Thunderwear!
- What does Zeus wear under his tunic? Thunderwear!
- Why does Zeus make terrible pizza? Because he doesn't know when to pull out...
- What does a Mexican and a Greek have in common? When people see them they say Hey zeus.
- How do you call a war between Zeus and Raiden? Blitzkrieg
- What did Zeus pick as Mount Olympus' national anthem? Greeced Lightning.
- Usually Hera was the one pushing for kids, but having Athena was all Zeus' idea.
- I hate all these lightning storms in my area... Oh well, you get Zeus to it
- What do you call Zeus when he's happy? Jovial.
Zeus Greek Mythology Jokes
Here is a list of funny zeus greek mythology jokes and even better zeus greek mythology puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Did you hear about the Spaniard who was obsessed with Greek Mythology? I said to him, "Jesus?" and he replied, "Where's Zeus?"
- I can sum up Greek Mythology in three words. Zeus got h**...!
Playful Zeus Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about zeus you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean lightning jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make zeus pranks.
Gods Vacation
The gods were planning on where to spend their next vacations; Shiva suggested: "what about Neptune?", then Ala said: "It's too cold!"; Zeus then suggested: "Let's go to Mars!", then Buddha replied "Nah, we went there last time!". So someone spoke "What about Earth?", for God to reply: "no way, Earth people like to gossip too much. I went there 2000 years ago, had a thing with a v**... and they're still talking about it!"
What does Zeus call his t**...?
Thunderballs
After fighting off waves of attacks by the Spartans, Paris went to visit with Helen
But alas, she was not very happy.
What is wrong, my love?
It's nothing.
Come on, my love, I sacrificed so much for you, so you must divulge why you're not happy. He pleaded.
It's nothing.
I'm pleading with you! I will defeat the whole spartan army and Achiles himself to see that smile again! Please, for the love of Zeus, why are you sad?
Well, it's just…
Yes? What is it?
If you must know…
Yes? Yes? He asked, encouraging her.
I only count 999 ships.
I had a dream last night...
In my dream I was watching a band play. Buddha was playing guitar, Jesus was playing bass, Mohammed was singing, and Zeus was playing the drums. After the show, Zeus came down and gave me a large metal disc. I think it was a cymbal from god.
The Grecian Gods vs the Greeks
Zeus and his human friend Spiro were watching a game of football, the gods versus the humans. Spiro looked around the pitch at all the players and then saw an absolute unit of a player, a half horse, half human professional. Spiro asked Zeus, Hey, who's that player over there? Zeus responded, That's our teams centaur-forward .
