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Zen Jokes

39 zen jokes and hilarious zen puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about zen that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Popular Zen Short Jokes

Short zen jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The zen humour may include short agnostic jokes also.

  1. A Zen student asked his master, "Is it OK to use email?" "Yes," replied the master, "But no attachments."
  2. Perfect on the spot SFW joke What did the Zen Buddhist say to the hotdog vendor?
    Make me one with everything.
  3. Jesus Crust A priest and a Zen master are making toast.
    The priest says "look, there's an image of Jesus in my margarine!"
    The Zen master replies "I can't believe it's not Buddha!"
  4. A Zen Master... Walks up to a hotdog stand and says,
    "Make me one with everything."
    -That's the best I've got
  5. My friend told me that he was going to buy a bunch of Intel CPUs. I told him to stop that non-Zens.
  6. What do you call a Zen master from eastern Europe who's been bugging you all day? A Buddha Pest.
  7. A novice asked his zen master if it's ok for Buddhists to use email. The master answered: "Yes. But no attachments."
  8. I asked a Buddhist how they managed to deal with past hurts. They replied "That was zen and this is now"
  9. I was going to make a joke about relaxing meditation techniques... ...but zen again, maybe I won't.
  10. A Zen Buddhist walks up to a hot dog stand and says, Give me a hot dog and put everything on it.
    (My son told me this and honestly, I don't see the humor in it.)

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Zen One Liners

Which zen one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with zen? I can suggest the ones about meditation and attachments.

  1. What do you call a Buddhist monk who meditates in the snow? Fro-zen.
  2. What did the Zen Buddhist say to his dog ? Nama ! Stay .
  3. What's the best gift for a zen master? A house, because they like to live in the present.
  4. My Japanese dentist became a woman. He's a trans zen dentalist.
  5. What did the Zen monk say to the hotdog vendor? Make me one with everything.
  6. A Zen master once said to me, 'Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.' So I didn't
  7. Zen Buddhism Don't even think about it.
  8. How do Buddhist monks compare interests? With zen diagrams!
  9. How many Zen Buddhists does it take to screw in a light bulb? There is no light bulb.
  10. I'll take ZEN KOANS for $500 please Alex.
  11. Just got back from the Zen VD clinic Doc told me I have the one hand Clap.
  12. What do you call a bar owned by Zen mobsters? The Buddha-bing!
  13. What does a zen ghost say? Boo, duh...
  14. Zen Koan If a man falls in the woods, do the trees clap?
  15. The Zen Master ordered a hotdog and said..... I want one with everything

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about zen can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of zen puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Happy Zen Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends

What funny jokes about zen you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make zen prank.

My dad told me this one so i thought i might share

In a zen monastery far inside China, a conflicted discipule has his mind shrouded by a doubt that he's sure his master, Zhi, knows the answer.
He finds him, and asks:
– "Master Zhi, why does everybody say that we, chinese people, all look alike?"

He pauses for a second, looks at the pupil's eyes and answers:
– "I'm not Master Zhi"

Zen Master and the Hot Dog

The Zen Master is visiting New York City from Tibet. He goes up to a hot dog vendor and says, "Make me one with everything."
The hot dog vendor fixes a hot dog and hands it to the Zen Master, who pays with a $20 bill. The vendor puts the bill in the cash box and closes it.
"Where's my change?" asks the Zen Master.
The vendor responds, "Change must come from within."

Getting spiritual at the bar

A guy walks into a bar and notices a framed picture of a cat hanging behind the bar. "What happened to the picture of Buddha you used to have hanging back there?" he asks the bartender. The bartender replies, "That was Zen, this is Meow."

For his 70th birthday, one of his students gave the zen master a big box with a ribbon around it.

When the master opened the box, he found that there was nothing inside.
"Aha," he exclaimed, "just what I wanted!"

A Zen novice called for an electrician.

Upon arrival at the monk's apartment, the electrician asked how he could be of assistance.
"I'm having trouble with this brand-new lamp that I just bought," the novice said. "I've tested the outlet, I've flipped every switch, and I still can't get it to work."
The electrician examined the lamp, then nodded his head. "Well, this lamp has a built-in clapper, see?"
"'Clapper?'" the novice repeated.
The electrician nodded again, then clapped his hands... and the novice was enlightened.

Hans, how was your first day at the Coast Guard Station?

Not so good... Very boring it was. Very quiet, most of zee day, but zen... a british guy said he was sinking.
He was sinking?
Yes, so I asked him about what he was sinking, and he never replied. How rude!

A Zen Buddhist and a Christian got in a fight over a neighborhood nativity scene last winter. The Buddhist trashed the 3 Wisemen display right before he went to temple.


They charged him with premeditated myrrhder.

... a Buddhist Monk goes into a Zen pizza parlor & says, "Make me one with everything."

The Zen Monk goes, "very funny... that'll be $16."
The Buddhist gives him a $20 bill.
The Zen monk puts it in the till and walks off.
The Buddhist monk says, "Hey where's my change?"
The Zen monk calls back, "Change comes from within."

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these zen jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.