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Zebra Jokes

96 zebra jokes and hilarious zebra puns to laugh out loud. Read animal jokes about zebra that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh out loud with these hilarious zebra jokes. From rude jokes about zebra crossings to puns about lions, sheeps and other animals, our collection of zebra jokes will give you a real wild time! Whether it's for a zebra birthday or just a light-hearted chuckle, these jokes are guaranteed to bring a smile to your face!

Funniest Zebra Short Jokes

Short zebra jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The zebra humour may include short elephant jokes also.

  1. A leopard tried to sneak out of his enclosure by pretending to be a zebra. But he was spotted.
  2. What do you get when you mix human DNA with zebra DNA? Well, kicked out of the zoo for starters.
  3. What are the two oldest animals on Earth? The Zebra and the Panda. Because we see them in black and white.
  4. Statistician joke... Why did a statistician take a zebra with him when he boarded a train?
    Because statistically, it's a lot less likely to be a train accident with a Zebra inside it...
  5. Two donkeys are standing at a roadside Two donkeys are standing at a roadside, one asks the other: "So, shall we cross? "
    The other shakes his head: "No way, look at what happened to the zebra."
  6. Why Did The Tiger Cross The Road? Because there wasn't a Zebra crossing
    Sorry, my 5 year old son made me post this
  7. When is the best time to eat a zebra? When it's stripened.
  8. I finished reading The Dictionary the other day... Spoiler alert, the zebra did it
  9. Why wouldn't you ask the zebra for music advice? Because he only knows about The White Stripes.
  10. What's a German underwear model's favourite animal Ze-bra

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Zebra One Liners

Which zebra one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with zebra? I can suggest the ones about giraffe and leopard.

  1. What goes black, white, black, white, black, white, red? Half a zebra
  2. What happens when you put a zebra in a lion cage? You get fired from the zoo
  3. What has 3 words, 8 letters, is easy to say, and hard to prove? I'm a zebra.
  4. What did the blonde name her pet Zebra? Spot
  5. What did the horse say the first time they saw a zebra? That horse has been to prison.
  6. What do you call a Zebra who joined a fraternity? A Zebro
  7. Which animal do women hate? Ze-bra
  8. What do you put on zeboobs? Zebra
  9. Why are zebras like my underwear? Each has its own unique stripes.
  10. Two giraffes walk into a bar. The zebra just laughs and walks under it.
  11. What do you call a striped bra? A zebra.
  12. What does a zebra call his best friends? Zeebros.
  13. What is black, white & eats like a horse? A Zebra :)
  14. What do you call a male zebra? A zebro
  15. Bras come in sizes A, B, C, etc. So what's the biggest bra? The Zebra.

Zebra Crossing Jokes

Here is a list of funny zebra crossing jokes and even better zebra crossing puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My local council just installed a zebra crossing near the primary school What a waste of money, I've never even seen a zebra in this town
  • Today I saw a car stop at a zebra crossing in India to let one person cross... but then I realised it had just run out of fuel.
  • A lert joke Stay alert? It's a deadly virus not a zebra crossing.
  • A cross between a zebra and a horse is called a zorse... Hold on...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    ...
    (Always stop at a zebra crossing)
  • What do you get if you cross a zebra with an ape man?
    Tarzan stripes forever.
  • What did the lions say to his cubs when he taught them to hunt?
    Don't go over the road till you see the zebra crossing.
  • What does a black man do on the zebra crossing? Appear and disappear.
  • Why did the zebra cross the road? Honestly, if I knew the answer I wouldn't ask!!!
  • Why do lions s**... at driving? They get stuck at every zebra crossing.
Zebra joke, Why do lions s**... at driving?

Laughable Zebra Jokes for Instant Grins & Giggles

What funny jokes about zebra you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean cheetah jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make zebra pranks.

What's yellow and smells like a zebra?

Lion v**....

Why don't the zebra and the lion like to play cards in the prairie?

'CAUSE THERE'S TOO MANY CHEETAHS!!!

What do you call a black and white bra?

Zebra

What do you call a jewish zebra?

A zebrew.

One zebra says to the other, "I'm going to check out that patch of nice green grass over there . . .

. . . I'll be white black."

What did the French zoologist get to see after the first date?

Ze-bra

What's black and white and can't go through a revolving door?

A zebra with a spear through its head.

suppose if you see one lion catch a zebra, you seen a maul

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

What do you call a horse getting carried away with a magic marker?

A zebra.

Zebras must be tough to eat.

You have to sort through all that light meat and dark meat.
Props to this guy at Disney

a giraffe, a zebra, a hippo, and a mouse walk into a bar

all of the animals hit their head on the bar except for the mouse which walked easily beneath it

A zebra walks into a bar...

He orders a drink and leaves. A few minutes later a horse walks into the bar. The bartender asks "Hey man! What happened to your pajamas?"

What do you call a bra designed for neutrois?

Ze-bra

What happened when the 26th letter of the alphabet hit puberty?

She got a Zebra.

As a reward for winning a race, a young stallion was put in a compound with a beautiful female zebra.

As the next day dawned, the keeper ran to see how the stallion had made out and was chagrined to see him leaning up against a tree. His mane was disheveled, his body covered in welts from angry hooves, and he had two giant black eyes. Astounded, the keeper asked what had happened.
The stallion said, "I spent the whole night trying to take off her pajamas."

Real definition of Zebra from Blonde's perspective

What is a Zebra?
A Z-bra is 25 sizes bigger than an A-bra.

What's a Zebra?

26 sizes larger than an A bra.

Two zebras are standing in a field.

Zebra 1 asks "Hey, do you think I'm white with black stripes or black with white stripes?"
Zebra 2 responds "I don't know, why don't you go ask god?"
So, zebra 1 goes to god and asks him if he's white with black stripes or black with white stripes, to which god responds,
"You are what you are."
Later, zebra 1 returns to the field and zebra 2 asks, "So, what are you?"
Zebra 1 says, "I'm white with black stripes."
Zebra 2, looking confused, asks, "How do you know?"
Finally, zebra 1 says, "Because if I was black with white stripes, god would have said, "You is what you is.""

A zebra dies and goes to heaven

The zebra meets God and asks him the one true question that he's been wondering his whole life.
"God, am I a white zebra with black stripes, or a black zebra with white stripes?"
God responds, "You are who you are."
It was then that the zebra knew he was white with black stripes. If he was black with white stripes, God would have told him, "You is who you is."

What does a lion feel when it's eating a zebra?

Pride

What do a Zebra and a Panda have in common?

It's pretty black and white

What did the zebra say before leaving?

I'll be white black.

This mnemonic joke helps you remember the alphabet...

Acronym
Based
Comedy
Doesn't
Ever
Feel
Good
Honestly,
I
Just
Keep
Lamenting
My
Negative
Opinion,
Perhaps
Questioning
Reality
Serves
The
Universe
Very
Well
...
Xylophone, yak, zebra.

What do you call a zebra in the ocean ?

A Seabra .

Why is the zebra the oldest species on the planet?

Because they're still in black and white.

What do you call a depressed midget named Debra who likes to eat a lot of zebra cakes?

A Little Debbie Downer

A boy at school

A boy was at school and his teacher asked him to learn 3 new words over the weekend. His father is a pilot and taught him the word "takeoff." His mother is a zoo keeper and taught him the word "zebra." His big sister was going to have a baby and taught him the word "baby." He went to school the next day and his teacher asked, ''What are your three words?'' The boy said, ''Takeoff zebra baby.''

A young zebra escapes from the zoo and meets a stallion in a nearby valley

The stallion was fascinated and asked the zebra "where do you come from and what do you do?" the zebra replied "I come from Africa and I just chill with my friends on the plain"
Then the zebra asked the stallion "what are you and what do you do?" and the stallion replied "I'm a stallion, get your pyjamas off and i'll show you"

A lion was walking through a jungle

...and asked a monkey, 'Who's king of the jungle.' 'You are, sir!' said the monkey. The lion asked zebra, 'Who's king of the jungle.' 'You are, sir!' said the zebra. When lion asked an elephant the elephant picked up the lion with his tusks and tossed him aside. 'Just because you don't know the answer doesn't mean you have to get mad,' said the lion.

Cheetahs

I bet when Cheetahs race and one of them cheats, the other one goes "Man, you're such s Cheetah!" and they laugh and eat a Zebra or whatever

A zebra and a giraffe have a kid...

...and named him Al. Al is really good at maths. What species is he?
An Al-ge-bra

What is black and white and blue all over?

A zebra at the north pole!

How do you tell the difference between a male and a female zebra?

Male has the black and white stripes and a female has the white and black ones.

I just finished up reading the dictionary.

It turns out that the Zebra did it.

What are zebras good for?

Supporting ze German boobies.

A Russian man travels to the US without knowing any english

After leaving the airport, he sees a sign for a space center that says Take off!
Next, he sees a billboard for the zoo that says Zebra
Later that day he goes to a bar and is excited to use his newly learned words. When he gets into the bar he tells the waitress Take off ze bra!

An elephant is drinking from a stream

An elephant drinking from a stream spots a tortoise lounging on the shore. He grabs it with his trunk and flings it into the jungle. A passing zebra asks, "Why did you do that?"
"Forty years ago that very tortoise nipped my tail just for fun," the elephant said.
"Wow, forty years ago! How did you remember that?" Asked the Zebra
"Well I have turtle recall," replied the elephant.

This sub is basically s**....

Not a joke. I'm scouring the ocean floor in a vessel mainly made of zebra f**....

Q: You're riding on a horse at high speed chasing a zebra. To your right is a sheer dropoff. Two feet to your left is a grizzly bear. Right on the heels of your horse is an angry lion. What do you do?

A: Get your drunk a**... off the merry-go-round!

A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.

A Zebra walks into a pub and asks for a beer.
The bartender says "Sorry I can't serve you"
The Zebra asks "Why not?"
"Because you're barred" replies the bartender.
I just thought this up but I doubt I'm the first. Sorry if it is lame.

Zebra dies and goes to Heaven

The giraffe asks him, "Why you look so depressed? "
Zebra says, "I never knew if I was black with white stripes or white with black stripes."
Giraffe says, "We you can go to God and ask Him any question."
So the Zebra goes and comes back looking confused.
Giraffe asks, "Well what did He say?"
Zebra replies, "He said 'I am what I am'"
Giraffe goes, "Well then you are white with black stripes!"
Zebra asks, "How do you figure?"
Giraffe says, "Cause if you were black with white stripes He say 'You IS what you IS.'"

A man and his zebra walk into a bar.

A man and a zebra walk into a bar.
They both pull up a stool, and proceed to order shot after shot until they're both so drunk that the zebra falls right off his stool, hits the ground, and passes out.
After the man tries to wake the zebra up with no avail, he gets p**... off and starts to walk out of the bar, leaving the zebra on the floor.
The bartender yells, 'Hey! My man! You can't just leave that lyin' there!'
And the man says, 'That's not a lion, it's a zebra'.

A rookie cop is at an intersection.

While he's at the red light, he sees a street sign that reads: WATCH FOR PEDESTRIANS
A few seconds later he notices a lady walking across the street along the zebra crossing. He honks his horn to stop her, rolls down his window and asks: Ma'am, are you a pedestrian?
The woman, confused at the purpose of the cop's question, replies yes, officer.
The cop proceeds to take out his pen and notepad and promptly asks So, which part of Pedestria are you from?

Zebra joke, A rookie cop is at an intersection.

jokes about zebra