youve Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious youve puns

[meta] Flair for jokes (a suggestion to the mods)

I had an idea occur to me, how about offer flair for jokes so that it can be tagged as an oldie but a goody or heard it from a friend or thought of this one myself, because some people seem like theyve heard a lot of stuff and complain every time they heard it again. It would help you not get let down if youve heard it before and help people find new jokes while still not discouraging the old jokes from coming back and being enjoyed by those of us that arnt so picky.


This morning, my wife was in the kitchen preparing to boil eggs for breakfast.

As I walked in, She turned to me and said, "You"ve got to make love to me this very moment."

My eyes lit up and I thought, "This is my lucky day."

Not wanting to lose the moment, I didn't waste any time at all,I gave her a banging right on the kitchen table.

Afterwards she said, "Thanks," and returned to the stove.

More than a little puzzled, I asked, "What was that all about?"

She said "The egg timer's broken."


A man walks into a chiropractor's office...

A man walks into a chiropractor's office and says, " doc, youve got to help me...I think I'm a moth." Doc says, "I can't help you, youve got to see a psychiatrist." Man says, "yes, I know." "Then why did you come here?" "The light was on."


chinaman goes to see the eye doctor

so a chinaman goes to see and eye doctor, having problems seeing.
doctor says "ah i see the problem, youve got a cataract"
chinaman says "no i drive a rincorn"


Do you know about the hipster CIA operative?

[Redacted] has done everything in the CIA but youve probably never heard of him.


Youve heard of a dine-and-dash, but what's it called when you're getting a haircut?

A clip and dip.


if you're up till 11:11 pm, you can make a wish.

But if you're up till 11:11 am, youve got no hope.


if a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, youve found the perfect place to have a nickelback concert

credit goes to twitch chat.


What does Polynomial Man say when you beat him?

Youve foiled my plans again!


Stop me if youve heard this one..

What do you call a cannibal eating himself?
A) A dying man eating his last meal.

Which also brings the question, is he suicidal or just plain hungry?


What are the most funny Youve jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Youve? Well, here are the best Youve dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Youve pick up lines to share with friends.


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