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Your The Type Of Guy Jokes

77 your the type of guy jokes and hilarious your the type of guy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your the type of guy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Funniest Your The Type Of Guy Short Jokes

Short your the type of guy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your the type of guy humour may include short type of guy jokes also.

  1. I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
  2. I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once.
  3. There are 10 types of people in the world The ones who understand binary and the ones who don't. And apparently eight more the guy wouldn't tell me about. Smug git
  4. Did you guys hear about the C++ developer that wanted to become a famous actor? He kept getting type cast.
  5. Our dad died because we couldn't remember his blood type to tell the paramedics... ...he kept telling us to 'be positive' right until the end, but that's just the type of guy he was.
  6. Joke \#1: I met this guy the other day, but I've really been trying to figure out what makes him tic...
    \#2: Oh so they're the mysterious type?
    1#: No they've got tourettes.
  7. A local caricature artist got arrested today I always thought he was a sketchy type of guy.
  8. Guy at work saw I was jealous of his new keyboard... He said we can type on it at the same time but our hands might touch, I said that's ok - no home row bro.
  9. Guys I need help. What are the type of numbers you get when you take an integer and add it to itself? I can't even
  10. My friend Ellis is the type of guy who tells us everything about his life. But as a teacher, he's very closed off towards his students. To them, he's just a Mr. E.

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Your The Type Of Guy One Liners

Which your the type of guy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your the type of guy? I can suggest the ones about nice guy and desperate guy.

  1. There's now a morning after pill for guys. It changes your blood type.
  2. Is it okay to hate certain races? Because I hate the 10k, more of a 5k type of guy.
  3. Some guy hit on me at the keyboard store today I told him he wasn't my type.
  4. You guys know what Mario's favorite type of pants are? *denim Denim Denim*
  5. A guy dumped his girlfriend for a keyboard. She just wasn't his type.
  6. There are only two type of guys. Those who pee in the shower And those who lie.
  7. Have you guys heard there is a new type of broom out Sweeping the nation
  8. What is a racist guy's favorite type of monitor? 3k
  9. I met this guy named Times New Roman... But he just wasn't my type.
  10. What's a nice guys favorite type of wood? M'hogany
  11. Solaire is the type of guy... To look for the sun inside the earth
  12. What type of guy What do you call someone who fights wth swollen feet
    Feet-y Wap
  13. There are two types of guys: those who pee in the shower and those who don't admit it.
  14. Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.
  15. Some guy asked me what my type was I said women

Uproarious Your The Type Of Guy Jokes to Have a Laugh Out Loud Good Time

What funny jokes about your the type of guy you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean dude jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your the type of guy pranks.

So there's this man with a parrot.

And his parrot swears like a sailor, I mean he's a p**.... He can swear for five minutes straight without repeating himself.
The trouble is that the guy who owns the parrot is a quiet, conservative type, and this bird's foul mouth is driving him crazy.
One day, it gets to be too much, so the guy grabs the bird by the t**..., shakes him really hard, and yells, "QUIT IT!" But this just makes the bird mad and he swears more than ever.
Then the guy gets mad and says, "That's it. I'll get you." and locks the bird in a kitchen cabinet.
This really aggravates the bird and he claws and scratches, and when the guy finally lets him out, the bird cuts loose with a stream of invective that would make a veteran sailor blush.
At that point, the guy is so mad that he throws the bird into the freezer.
For the first few seconds, there is a terrible din. The bird kicks and claws and thrashes. Then it suddenly goes very quiet.
At first the guy just waits, but then he starts to think that the bird may be hurt. After a couple of minutes of silence, he's so worried that he opens up the freezer door.
The bird calmly climbs onto the man's outstretched arm and says, "Awfully sorry about the trouble I gave you. I'll do my best to improve my vocabulary from now on."
The man is astounded. He can't understand the transformation that has come over the parrot.
Then the parrot says, "By the way, what did the chicken do?"

Pack your Bags

A woman was going to Los Angeles from New York City for an extended stay. With permission from the airline was permitted to bring five pieces of luggage.
As the clerk was starting to take the luggage, the woman says, "I would like you to send the first bag to Miami, the second bag to Chicago, the third bag to Dallas, the fourth bag to Phoenix and the fifth bag to Seattle."
The clerk says looks at her for a second, then types a few things in his computer, then looks back at the women and says, "I'm sorry, we can't do that!"
The woman says, "Well why not? You guys did it last time without me even asking?"

Guy goes golfing with his wife

An avid golf fan took his wife golfing, and was having the game of his life. They got to the 17th hole, a short par 4, and he hits his drive way left. When he finds his ball, it's behind a large shed that stands directly between the ball and the green.
Dismayed, he decides to lay up and hit a chip shot back into the fairway to go for bogey. Right before he hits, his wife comes up and says, "Wait wait, this shed has big double doors on each side! We can just open up both sides and you can hit your shot right through the shed and up onto the green!"
Encouraged by this idea, he takes the shot. The ball bounces off the front of the shed, hits his wife in the head and tragically kills her.
Years later, this guy plays this same course again, this time with a few of his buddies, and is once again having another once in a lifetime type of game. On the 17th hole, remembering what happened the last time, he nervously tees off and is heartbroken to see his ball follow a nearly identical path as the last time he played. He gets up to the ball and it's almost in the same spot, so he lines up to chip it back into the fairway. His buddy runs up and says, "Wait wait, this shed has big double doors on each side! We can just open up both sides and you can hit your shot right through the shed and up onto the green!"
The guy stares at him and says, "no way. last time I tried that, I triple bogeyed!"

During the holiday season, a man is aimlessly drifting around a shopping center, wondering what to get his wife for Christmas.

Wandering into a pet store, he asks the shop assistant, "Hey, buddy, you got anything with a Christmas-type theme in here?"

"Well, there is Chet, the parrot," the assistant replies.

Chet looks like any normal parrot, nothing special, so the guy asks, "What's so Christmassy about him?"

"Well, he can sing Christmas carols," says the assistant.

"Really?"

"Yup," says the assistant. "Lemme show ya. See, all ya gotta do is light a match and hold it under his left foot, like so, and Chet'll go..."

"Awrrk! Frosty the Snowman was a jolly happy soul..." Chet sings.

"Wow, that's amazing! Does he do any more?"

"Sure does! Now, if you hold the match under his right foot instead, he'll go..."

"Awrrk! Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer, had a very shiny nose..." Chet sings.

Well, now the guy is really impressed, but he has to ask, "Does Chet know any more carols?"

"Oh, sure, he knows one more! See, if you hold the match BETWEEN his two feet, he goes..."

"Awrrk! Chet's nuts roasting on an open fire..."

Migraine headaches

There was this guy who constantly get migraine headaches, he tried all different type of drugs and it didn't work for him. So he decided to go to the specialist. He told the doctor about his migraine and also let him know he tried all the drugs that are available in market but they still didn't help him. Doctor said "I know what you mean, I had the same problem, but I did something out of ordinary and it worked. Whenever I get headaches I go down on my wife and give her best o**... s**.... When she about to c**... she squeezes my head with her thighs and its been helping me with my headaches. And you should try it out."
After couple of months doctor meets that guy on street and asks him I haven't seen you for long time after your visit, how's your headaches?
The guy said your technique really worked, but I just have one question who made that portrait of you and your wife top of your bed?

An Arab and a Jew

There was an Arab oil Sheikh that was in a coma and needed a blood transfusion to survive. Being AB+ it was hard for him to get a donor with the same rare blood type. Finally they found an old Jewish farmer that was listed as a blood donor with the same blood type. However he was very reluctant to give his blood to save an Arab guy. Finally after lots of discussions and pestering by doctors he agreed to donate only enough blood to help make sure the Arab guy was stabilized. After the blood transfusion and when the Arab guy is healthier, he sends the Jewish farmer a brand new John Deere tractor and a Cartier watch and $100000 as a token of appreciation. After a year, the Arab is requires another transfusion. The old Jewish farmer is contacted and this time is willing to give more blood. After the transfusion the Arab send the Jewish guy a box of chocolates and a bouquet of flowers. When the Jewish guy gets this he is furious as he is expecting much more since he gave more of his rare blood type. He contacts the Arab sheikh and asks him why he only gave him such a paltry gift? The Arab says, ya Akhie (brother) I have Jewish blood in me now….

[Joke Request]: Death of Wife

I don't often see joke requests on here, so I'm not sure how kosher this is, but I'm looking for a very specific type of joke and was hoping you guys could help.
The basic premise is that a man's wife dies, his buddy empathizes and feels sorry for him, assuming that the man is sad, but the punchline reveals in some way that the man is quite content with the outcome (or something along those lines).
I know there are a million of these, with all sorts of different contexts and punchlines. But my mind is blanking and google hasn't helped.

An Arab sheikh is dying

... and the only thing that could save him a blood transfusion. But there is a problem - the sheikh has a very rare blood type. After very intensive searches sheik's servants finally find a donor. This happens to be an old Jewish guy who agrees to donate blood in exchange for a substantial reward. The sheikh's life is saved, and he generously rewards the donor with a luxury car and a huge mansion.
Couple of years later, the same story happens. The donor rushes to donate the blood and comes to pick up his reward. Surprisingly for him, he is handed a box of cookies.
"But last time you gave me a car and a mansion"
"Well, last time I had no Jewish blood flowing in me".

Why did the girl keyboard reject the other guy keyboard?

He wasn't her "type"

An elderly couple had just learned how to text.

The wife was a romantic type and the husband was more of a no-nonsense guy.
One afternoon the wife went out to meet a friend for coffee. She decided to send her husband a romantic text message and she wrote:
"If you are sleeping, send me your dreams. If you are laughing, send me your smile. If you are eating, send me a bite. If you are drinking, send me a sip. If you are crying, send me your tears. I love you."
The husband texted back to her:
"I'm on the toilet. Please advise."

There are two types of Guys on Halloween...

Those who complain about "s**..." versions of costumes, and those who get laid.

I asked my friend what type of stereo he had,

but he said a black guy stole it.

A guy was barely sitting down in the toilet when

he heard a voice from the other stall saying: 'Hi, how are you? '
Not being the type to start a conversation in the restroom, he answered, somewhat embarrassed, ' Doin ' just fine! '
And the other person says:
' So what are you up to? '
What kind of question is that? At that point, he was thinking this is too bizarre so he said: ' Uhhh, I ' m like you, just sitting here. '
At this point he was just trying to get out as fast as he could when he heard another question: ' Can I come over? '
Ok, the question was just too weird and he figured he could politely end the conversation by saying: 'No........I ' m a little busy right now!!! '
Then the person said, nervously:
'Listen, I ' ll have to call you back. There ' s an idiot in the other stall who keeps answering all my questions!! '...

What type of bonds deals with the bad guys?

James

An Amish Woman Discovers An Elevator

There was this elderly, Amish woman who went with her family to a mall for the first time in their lives. The whole family was mesmerized by the hundreds of stores, the lights, the food court. And then, for the first time in her life, the Amish woman saw an elevator. She watched as an elderly man approached the elevator doors and entered. The doors closed. A minute later, the doors opened and a guy looking like George Clooney stepped out. She saw another old guy get on, and, a minute later, out came a Matt Damon look-alike. A third old man went in and out came a Ryan Gosling-type man. She called to her daughter, "Quick, go get your father."

Do you like birds?

I don't know, you just kind of strike me as the type of guy that would enjoy a cockatoo.

What a gay guy's favorite type of medicine

A Suppository.

A guy types "lower case is for the lower class people"

someone else replies with "I guess that makes you a capitalist"

What type of focus does a racist white guy have?

inward

Guys, I figured out a better way to pretend you died mid-type!

All you need to do is hold dooooooooooooooooooooooo

I just came up with a long UDP joke

But it's not really worth typing out here. You guys probably wouldn't even get it.

The kid of a guy from Kansas asked his dad which type of bag to bring for his flight.

"'Carry on', my wayward son..."

Sometimes I wonder how vegans survive off of what little they eat

Then I remember they feed off of attention.
EDIT 1: This blew up quick thanks guys :D
EDUT 2: When I typed edit 1 it had 500 upvotes now im waking up to 29K upvotes thanks eveyone :D

Guy sits next to a priest doing the crossword

Priest says: "You know a four letter word for 'type of woman', last three letters u-n-t?"
Guy replies: "Aunt."
Priest pauses, says: "Got an eraser?"

What's a Swedish guys favorite movie type?

Bjorn-ography.
Why?
It makes him Bjorn-y.

A guy starts his first day at a bakery...

The boss says, "We're a healthy, whole-food bakery, so we put vegetables in every type of bread that we make." He shows the new guy to the back room, where there are rows of file cabinets with pictures of vegetables on them.
"Here's where we keep the carrot dough," the boss says, opening a file drawer with a picture of a carrot on it. "And here's the zucchini dough."
"But what's this one with the picture of Kevin Spacey on it?" The new guy asks.
"Oh," the boss responds, "That's the pea dough file."

I'm not the tallest guy, so when I left university and applied for the job I wanted, I put down that I was a dwarf on my resume, hoping that being some type of minority would help me...

I didn't get the job though.
The interviewer just said that I was selling myself short.

This one takes some thinking.

A guy takes his date to a dinner at the local country club. It's an unusual setup: People have to wait in separate lines for each type of food.
As his date sits down, the guy volunteers to go get their dinner. First he waits in the line for the roast beef. Then he waits in the line for potatoes. Then he waits in the vegetable line, the bread line, and the gravy line. Finally he brings back two full plates of food.
What would you like to drink? he asks.
A glass of punch would be nice, she says. So he goes to get it. He scouts around and finds a line for wine, a line for beer, a line for soda, and even a line for milk. But after a while he gives up and goes back to his table.

A guy gets diagnosed with type 2 diabetes and is feeling down, his doctor tells him that type 2 is less serious than type 1 and that he should stay optimistic, the patient replies "doctor, please don't sugar-coat it for me"...

Doctor says: "sir, I'm being candyd"

What killed Stephen Hawking?

While installing a firmware update, the IT service guy tried typing @ on his Mac keyboard.

If Isaac Newton were alive today.

I think his favorite song would have been "Fat bottomed girls", by Queen.
He was the type of guy who could appreciate being attracted to large masses.

Repost of Good Ol' Number 43.

You guys know the one with the priest and the badger... but I can't be arsed typing it all out.

Why did the PR guy develop a Type II diabetes?

Because he always sugarcoats everything he says and always eats his words.

A guy is at a wedding looking for something to drink.

He looks around the main area for an open bar or something similar, yet he can't find anything.
Hmm weird he thinks to himself, you'd think they would serve drinks at these type of events
Suddenly he realizes he just saw a guy with a drink in his hand, so he goes up to him and asks him where he got it
Over there
He says while pointing over to a row of people standing in line for something.
What's that? The guy asks
That's the punchline

This joke is for all the engineers out there

Three university engineering students are having a heated debate over which type of engineering is the best to specialize into. Mechanical is clearly the best says the one student, its the most interesting field and theres more employment opportunities post grad!! no way says the other student electrical is definitely the way to go, mechanical is waaay harder and electrical pays better in the long run. the two student shout louder and more angrily at each other until they almost start fighting. finally the third student speaks up GUYS he says come one please stop arguing, lets be civil

A guy on m**... decides to sell his chameleon, and starts typing an ad

I have a red chameleon for sale. Nope a blue one. Scratch that, a green chameleon. Wooow, not for sale.

a guy walks into a bar

he sits down and asks the bartender for an angel shot
you don't seem the type to order that, are you in danger? the bartender whispers
danger? all the women i talk to ask for it so it must be good!

jokes about your the type of guy