Your Son Jokes
105 your son jokes and hilarious your son puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your son that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Your Son Short Jokes
Short your son jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your son humour may include short mom son jokes also.
- Son: "Mom, Dad, I'm gay." Mom: *Stares at Dad*
Dad: *Clenches fist*
Mom: "Don't!"
Dad: *Sweats Profusely*
Mom: "..."
Dad: "HI GAY, I'M DAD"
- Son In iraq I killed 15 people. Son: Dad you were a helicopter mechanic
Dad:Never said I was a good one - My son kept chewing on electrical chords, so I grounded him... He's doing better currently and conducting himself properly.
- The son went to his dad and asked him, "Dad, what's an alcoholic?" So the dad replied, "Do you see those four trees? Well, an alcoholic would see eight."
The son replied, "But Dad, I only see two." - A child asks his father what "gay" means The father says it means happy to his son, to which the son replies "Dad are you gay?" The father laughs and says "no son I have a wife".
- My wife beamed at me with pride and said, Wow! I never thought our son would go that far! I said, This trebuchet is amazing! Go get our daughter.
- What does gay mean? asked a son to his father.
"It means 'happy,'" the father answered.
"Oh," replied the son, "so are you gay, then?"
"No, son, I have a wife." - Man: Doctor, all five of my boys want to be valets when they grow up! Doctor: Wow! That's the worst case of parking son's disease that I have ever seen.
- My son came home as I was taking his door off it's hinges and asked Dad what are you doing?
We've updated our privacy policy - Father: Son, you were adopted. Son: What?! I knew it! I want to meet my biological parents!"
Father: We are your biological parents. Now pack up, the new ones will pick you up in 20 minutes.
Share These Your Son Jokes With Friends
Your Son One Liners
Which your son one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your son? I can suggest the ones about mother son and grandson.
- Hey Dad, have you seen my sunglasses? No son, have you seen my dad glasses?
- 6 yr old son made this up. What do exploding pandas eat? BAMBOOM!
- Did you know that Stephen King has a son named joe? I'm not joking, but he is
- My son is 2934 days old today. He was born on 12/12/12.
- "Son you're just not cut out to be a mime." "Is it something I said?"
"Yes." - Son: "Dad, Am I adopted"? Dad: "Not yet. We still haven't found anyone who wants you."
- My son identifies as a crescent moon. I'm worried, but my wife says it's just a phase.
- One man's trash is another Man's treasure Is not the way to tell your son he is adopted.
- Today my son asked me, Dad are we pyromaniacs? I replied: yes, we arson.
- A man is washing his car with his son. The son asks: "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"
- Dad joke..... Dad: what are you drinking, son?
Son: Soy Milk
Dad: Hola Milk, soy padre - Son: Dad, how do stars die? Dad: Drugs, usually.
- From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You.
Why I oughta...! - I met an Anti-Vaxxer today... Unfortunately, I couldn't meet his son.
- I became a proud father today.... My son's 4 but he's been pretty annoying until now
Great Your Son Jokes to Share, Laugh and Enjoy with Friends
What funny jokes about your son you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean newborn son jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your son pranks.
The school phoned me today and said, "Your son's has been telling lies."
I said, "Tell him, he's b**... good. I don't have any kids
Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your son.
Kidnapper: [on phone] we have your son.
Wife: actually I'm holding my son.
Kidnapper: [getting frustrated] then who the heck just asked for chocolate milk with a straw and made us cut the crust off his PB&J?
Wife: oh god.
Kidnapper: what?
Wife. you have my husband.
Sir, your son was smoking m**... at school during the class!
Says the teacher to a student's parent at a school gathering.
-- Did he say where he got it?
-- Yes! His best friend gave it to him.
The father, cleaning his tears:
-- Did he really say that?
Police officer: "I'm here to inform you that your son burned down the school"
Parents: "arson?"
Police officer: "yes, your son"
"Craig, I caught your son playing 'doctor' with my daughter!"
"Oh lord, that kid. My boy didn't do anything inappropriate, did he?"
"I'll say! The co-pay he charged was outrageous!"
I woman had just given birth to a baby boy...
The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the f**... to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him c**...-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"
Had a house party last night
...and there's always one left over! Laid on the floor in the corner, still that drunk? He couldn't even stand! Asked him where he lived, then dragged him down the driveway to my car, his legs all over the place, picked him up, threw him inside, & took him home. Dragged him up to his house & knocked on his front door, "I've brought your son home."
His mother replied, "Where is his wheel chair?"
The son of a rich Saudi sheikh arrives in Germany for his University studies.
He soon writes home to his father. "Dear Dad, Berlin is wonderful, the people are nice and I really like it here, but Dad I am a little ashamed to be riding to class every day in my 24k gold Ferrari 599GTB when my professors, friends and many fellow students all travel by train. Your son, Ahmed"
Promptly, his father writes back. "My Dear son Ahmed, $20 Million has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing our family. Go and get yourself a train too. Love, your dad"
The doctor handed me a baby...
The doctor said: "This is your son. I'm sorry, but your wife didn't make it."
I handed him the baby back. "Well, give me the one she made, then!"
Honey, your son said he's thinking of burning down the neighbor's house!!
You mean, arson?
(I probably coulda worded it better, but you see where I'm going with it at least)
An Arab student emails his dad:
*An Arab student emails his dad:*
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
*The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:*
My dear loving son,
Twenty million USD have just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
What do you do when your son has started eating electrical cords?
You ground him until he conducts himself properly.
"Honey, you're not really nice to your son"
"Which one do you mean? Steve, John or the fat one?"
A woman just gave birth to a baby boy. Unfortunately....
The doctor was holding him and told the parent,"I regret to inform you that your son was born without eyelids." The mother replies," That's terrible. What are we going to do?" The doctor says," I've seen this before, don't worry. We will circumcise him and use the f**... to make him new eyelids." The father says," Won't that make him c**...-eyed." The doctor replies," No, if anything it will give him foresight"
A woman gets a call from kidnappers.
"We have your son," said the kidnapper.
"I don't have a son," says the woman.
"Then who just asked for warm milk and made us cut the crust off his sandwiches?"
"Oh, God you have my husband!"
A jewish woman goes to the hospital to give birth to her son.
Unfortunately the baby boy is born without eyelids.
The jewish woman is hysterical and says: Doctor, doctor what am i going to do? My baby boy has no eyelids!
The doctor calmly replies: Missus Levine, don't worry your son is going to be circumcised so we can do a transplant and give him eyelids.
Missus Levine says: Doctor, doctor but I don't want a son that's gonna be cockeyed!
Doctor replies: But Missus Levine imagine what foresight he'll have!
Jesus saw a crying old man while walking in a desert.
He came closer and asked what problem is.
Old man: I'm looking for my son, but I'm gonna lose my hope.
Jesus pitied the man and said, let's look for your son together.
After some time, Jesus asked him that if he has some birthmark or else to recognize him more easily.
Yes, said the old man. He had nails driven on his hands and feet.
Jesus started and hugged the man, saying FATHER!
The old man screamed happily, PINOCCHIO!
A dad buys a lie detector robot that slaps you if you lie.
Dad: Son, where were you at school hours?
Son: At school.
The robot slaps the son
Son: Okay I was watching KungFu Panda!
The robot slaps his son again.
Son: Okay I was watching violent movies!
Dad: What?! When I was your age I never watched those kinds of movies!
The robot slaps the dad.
Mom: Haha, after all, he is your son.
The robot slaps the mom...
Doctor: Ok let's start with the good news
Doctor: Your son will always find an available parking slot.
Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?
I asked my friend.
He wants to be a garbageman,
he replied.
That's an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.
Not really. He thinks that garbagemen work only on Tuesdays.
Jesus is walking through the desert when he comes across and old man crying to himself.
"Why do you cry for Old Man?" Jesus asked.
"I've been searching for my son forever and I'm about to give up hope."
"Well I've been wandering the desert in search of my father for many years, perhaps I've seen your son in my travels. Can you describe him?" Jesus explained.
"He's got nail marks in his hands and feet..."
With that Jesus threw open his arms and embraced the old man. "Father!" he exclaimed.
"Pinocchio!" the old man cried.
The school phoned me today and said, "Your sons been telling lies."
"Well, he's b**... good, I ain't got any kids." I replied.
A man enters an elevator, and the operator asks him what floor he wants.
The man says "Eighteenth floor." After arriving, the doors open and the operator says "We are here, my son."
The man says "Thanks, but why did you call me your son?"
The operator replies "Because I have brought you up."
A dad buys a lie detector machine and waits for his son to come home
When the son comes home:
Dad - So you were at school right?
Son - yeah
Lie Detector - BEEP
Son - Okay, okay I was at the cinema with my friends
Lie Detector - BEEP
Son - ....I was having a few beers with my friends
Dad - What??? When I was your age I NEVER touched alcohol
Lie Detector - BEEP
Mom - Hahahaha! Well honey, he IS your son
Lie Detector - BEEP
Other students come by train
A student to his father:
Dear father,
Berlin is a fantastic city, people are nice and I really like that city. But, I am a bit ashamed to come to school with my golden plated Ferrari whereas professors and other students come by train.
Love,
Your son
Next day, an answer comes:
My dear son,
I transferred 20M€ to your bank account. Please buy your train quickly.
Your loving father.
There is really no easy way to say it, ma'am,
but your son has just fallen into the Eyjafjallajökull.
A pregnant woman and her husband are reviewing the results of her ultrasound
Doctor: I have good news and bad news.
Wife: Start with the good news!
Doctor: Well, your son is going to be able to park wherever he wants.
A mid 30's guy is grocery shopping, and a 20 something blonde catches his eye.
She looks very familiar, but he can't remember where he met her. When they moved closer, she said to him, "Hi - I think you're the father of one of my children."
The guy freaks out. He says, "I've only cheated on my wife 3 times - in Vegas 5 years ago, in Orlando 4 years ago, and in Seattle 3 years ago. You look familiar, but I just can't remember. Who are you?"
She says, "I'm your son's Sunday school teacher."
Got an old joke from my teacher.
A nurse was walking past a mother who recently gave birth to a son.
"Congratulations, your son's pretty handsome!" the nurse said to the mother.
Mother: "Thank you. Do you always say this to all parents?"
Nurse: "No, I only say it when I really think so."
Mother: "So what do you say to the ugly ones?"
Nurse: "Oh, I just tell them: Congratulations, they look just like you!"
My mom really only sends the classiest of FWDs
A guy goes to the supermarket and notices an attractive woman waving at him.
She says hello. He's rather taken a back because he can't place where he knows her.
So he says, "Do you know me?"
To which she replies, "I think you're the father of one of my kids."
Now his mind travels back to the only time he has ever been unfaithful to his wife, and he says,
"Oh, are you the stripper from my bachelor party that I did on the pool table with all my buddies
watching while your partner whipped me with wet celery?"
The woman looks sternly into his eyes and says very calmly, "No, I'm your son's teacher."
A father meets his son's teacher.
« Sir, I'm afraid your son is a cheater », says the teacher.
« What? No ! What makes you say that? » responds the father
« Well, in the last math test, he had the same answers as his neighbour. »
« Yeah, that's a math test, duh. There's only one good answer, right? »
« Indeed, but in one of the questions, your son's neighbour answered "I don't know" .»
« So what ? »
« Well, your d**... son wrote "yeah, me neither". »
Revenge on a four-year-old child
A while ago, I invited my friend to my house for dinner. He brought along his four year old child, who made a mess of my house, and destroyed two of my expensive plates. I was so angry, but after all, I couldn't vent my anger on a young child. I had no choice but to smile and keep my composure.
I led the child over to my piano, where I allowed him to randomly hit a few keys. I remarked "Wow, your son has a good musical sense, he's quite talented!"
I heard the child hasn't had any free time ever since.
I was walking down the street today, and noticed a woman screaming at her son. How do you lose a cello, it's as big as you are? Where could you have possibly lost it, tell me or so help me.
I walked up to the woman, and said for the sake of your son, please do not resort to violins.
Positive...
James finds a friend whom he hasn't spoken with for a long time, so to be nice, he breaks the ice:
" -Hey Oscar, how are you doing?"
" -Terrible."
" -What?! What about your Ferrari?"
" -Wrecked in an accident... and the insurance had just expired."
" -Well, you win some, you lose some... And what about your son, the intelectual one?"
" -He was the one driving the Ferrari. Died upon impact."
" -But what about your beautiful daughter, didn't she say she wanted to be a model or something?"
" -She did, yeah... And was with her brother. She died too. Only person who wasn't in the car was my wife."
" -Oh thank God! How is she?"
" -She ran off with my bussiness partner."
" -Well, at least you got the company."
" -Yeah, a bankrupt one... I owe millions."
" -Jesus, dude! Do you have anything positive in your life?"
" -Yeah, h**...."
Honey, I accidentally set your son on fire!
Just kidding, it's not your son, it's arson.
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
A mother takes her three son's to enroll in school. The teacher asks.
Teacher: What are your son's names?
Lady: This boy's name is Leroy, this other boy's name is Leroy, and Leroy here is my third son's name.
Teacher: Isn't it confusing having all three boy's named the same?
Lady: Oh no, you see when it's time for lunch I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for lunch, and they all come a runnin. When it's time for dinner I just holler out the door, Leroy! it's time for dinner and they all come a runnin.
Teacher: Ok, so what do you do when you want a specific boy?
Lady: Oh, well then I just holler out their last name.
An Arab student e-mails his dad
Dear Dad,
Berlin is wonderful, people are nice and I really like it here,
but Dad, I am a bit ashamed to arrive at my college with my pure-gold Ferrari 599GTB when all my teachers and many fellow students travel by train.
Your son, Nasser.
The next day, Nasser gets a reply to his e-mail from his dad:
My dear loving son,
Twenty million US Dollar has just been transferred to your account. Please stop embarrassing us. Go and get yourself a train too.
Love,
your Dad
A little boy wants his toy,
A little boy wants his toy, so he walks up to his mother and says "Mom, give me my toy." His mother responds by saying, "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words and his mom gives him his toy.
The next day, the little boy starts kindergarten. At snack time, the little boy wants some juice, so he walks up to his teacher and asks for a juice box. The teacher says "What are the magic words?" So the little boy says the magic words. But the teacher gets upset, and calls the little boy's mother and asks her to come in.
When the three of them are sitting in the room together, the teacher asks the mother; "Have you been teaching your son sarcasm?"
"No," the mother says, "Why, what did he do?"
"Well, he asked for a juicebox," said the teacher, "and I asked him to say the magic words, and instead of saying please, he said 'you're thin and you're beautiful.'"
A man buys a lie detecting robot that slaps people every time they tell a lie...
Dad: what were you watching?
Son: Kung-Fu Panda
*\*robot slaps son\**
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: WHAT?! When I was your age i didn't even know what an e**... movie was
*\*robot slaps dad\**
Mum: HAHAHA!!! He's your son after all
*\*robot slaps mum\**
A bloke is in a queue at the supermarket...
...when he notices that the rather dishy blonde behind him has just raised her hand and smiled hello to him.
He is rather taken aback that such a looker would be waving to him, and although familiar he can't place where he might know her from, so he says sorry do you know me?
She replies I maybe mistaken, but I thought you might be the father of one of my children!
His mind shoots back to the one and only time he has been unfaithful, he says are you that stripogram on my stag night that I shagged on the snooker table in front of all my mates whilst your mate whipped me with some wet celery and stuck a cucumber up my rear?
No , she replies, I'm your son's English Teacher
My friend ask me,"Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?"
Yes, he wants to be a garbage collector," he replies.
My friend says "Strange ambition to have for a career."
"Well, he thinks that garbage collectors only work on Tuesdays!"
The school called a woman and told her: "Your son has been telling lies"
"You're right", she replied, "I don't have any kids."
If everyone spells your sons name wrong...
Then you spelled your sons name wrong
Poor daddy
A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and brown eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son truly my child?
The wife replied, I swear on everything holy that he is your son. With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered Thank goodness he didn't ask about the other three.
A woman showed up at my house today
She said Tell your son to stop copying me!
Johnny! Stop acting like an idiot! I shouted to my son
The son comes home crying and tells his mother "the lady next door hit me!". So the mother goes over and asks why she hit her and the lady replies "your son called me fat!". To which the mother replies...
"...and you think you'll lose weight by hitting him?"
So I got a call from my son's music teacher...
She told me, "Hey, your son is just like Elvis Presley!"
I was a little shocked. "That's... is he that talented?!"
To which she replied, "Oh no, we found him dead on the toilet."
How high do you have to be to adopt a mouse as your son and name it Stuart
a little
Father buys a lie detector that makes a loud beep whenever somebody tells a lie.
The son comes home in the afternoon. Father asks him, So, you were at school today, right? Son: Yeah. Detector: Beep. Son: OK, OK, I was in a cinema. Detector: Beep. Son: Alright, I went for a beer with my friends. Father: What?! At your age, I wouldn't touch alcohol! Detector: Beep. Mother laughs: Ha ha ha, well, he really is your son! Detector: Beep.
A guy is relaxing at home when he hears a loud b**... on his front door. He opens the door to discover his next-door neighbor standing there looking outraged. "
What's the matter Bill?" he asks the neighbor. "I found your son's name written with pee in the snow between our houses!" he responds. "What's the big deal? He's a kid. Kids do that stuff". I'll tell you the big deal! It was in my daughter's handwriting!"
A father gets a phone call from his son's teacher
A father is at work when he gets a call from his son's teacher.
"Hello Mr. Johnson, I was in the middle of a lecture today when your son just got up and left the room without a word. I'm very worried about him, is he alright?"
The father just laughed and said "oh you have nothing to worry about, Billy has been sleepwalking since he was 5 years old!"
A woman and her 10 year old son are driving in a taxi at night in Detroit…
It's raining hard and and all the prostitutes are huddled under an awning. The young boy asks his mom, what are those ladies doing? The mom responds, they're all waiting for their husbands to get off work.
The taxi driver is annoyed and responds, Lady, just tell your son the truth! They are prostitutes and they have s**... with random men for money! The boy asks, mom, is this true? She responds, yes son, it's true.
The boy then asks, what happens to their babies? Mom responds, they grow up to be taxi drivers!
Neighbor: So, what are your sons's professions?
Man: The first one is an engineer, the second one is a doctor. The third one is a business man and my last son is a thief!
Neighbor: What? Why don't you kick your 4th son out of the house?
Man: How can I sir? He is the only one who earns money!
Principal: Sorry for calling you in, but your son set the school on fire.
Parents: Arson?
Principal: Yes, your son.
Son: Dad, my wife is pregnant.
Dad: That's great! I'm so proud of you!
Son: Thanks I'm-so-proud-of-you, I'm your son.
Dad: I have trained you well.
CPR
I popped my head over my s**... neighbour's fence today to see her lying in her bikini.
"Wow, you're gorgeous!" I burst out, "I hope you know how to do CPR."
"Why?" she asked with a giggle, "Because I've taken your breath away?"
"No," I replied. "I've just run your son over out front."
The School teacher sent home a note with her student..
The note reads, Your son is an obedient and bright student, but spends too much time talking to girls.
Mother sends a note back the following day, Please advise a solution. Father has the same problem.'
A husband and wife give up their identical twin boys for adoption. They name one of them Juan and the other Amol
Years later the wife receives a letter from Juan reaching out to her, he included a picture. Elated she showed her husband who was excited to see his son doing so well in life.. weeks later they receive a letter from Amol telling them how well he is doing and also included a picture. Wife asks hubby " do you want to see your sons picture?" hubby replies "Why? if you've seen Juan you've seen Amol"
"Did you know your son lit the barn on fire!?!"
You mean "arson"?
Your son didn't start a fire
It was arson
Your son is dead...
DEAD serious... about having his f**... tomorrow. He shot himself.
With a water gun! So I drowned him.
Drowned him with love!
That's right, I r**... him to death.
A woman from the ghetto is in the grocery store with a whole crew of kids...
She yells out, "Billy!" and nine boys come running and line up by the door.
A passer-by laughs to himself and asks, "Did you name all your sons Billy?"
"Yup. Makes calling them for dinner a lot easier."
"What happens when you only need to talk to one of them?"
"Then I just call them by their last name."
A man is taking his son for a walk...
A man takes his son for a walk in his carriage. As he pushes him along, the baby is screaming and crying.
He says "Calm down, Carl."
The baby continues to cry and make a scene.
"It's going to be okay, Carl," the father murmurs.
After a while, a woman approaches and starts speaking to him.
"You must really care about your son Carl to take him on a walk to calm him down."
"No, I'm Carl."
Misunderstanding.
A man in the supermarket sees a woman across the aisle looking at him, so he goes over and says "do i know you"? She says "you're the father of one of my children". He panics and thinks about the only time he cheated on his wife. "Are you the stripper at that party who had s**... with me on the pool table while everyone stood around cheering". "No", she says, looking horrified "i'm your sons teacher".
I walked into the house...
And my wife said, 'Your son threw his milk at me, today!'
I replied, 'How dairy!!'
idk what to put the title as
A man buys a lie detector robot that slaps people who lie.........
The man decided to try it out at dinner.
Dad: Son, where were you during school hours?
Son: At school
*The robot slaps the son*
Son: OK! I was at my friend's house watching a DVD
Dad: Which one?
Son: Kung Fu Panda
*The robot slaps the son again.*
Son: Ok! It was an e**... movie.
Dad: What!? When I was your age I didn't even know what an e**... movie was.
*The robot slaps the dad.*
Mom: HAHAHAHA. He is your son after all!
*The robot slaps the mom.*
A son asks his dad what is the difference between practical and theoretical
The tells the son to bring his sister. He then tells her: 'For $1000, would you sleep with your brother?' 'For a thousand, yes!' She answers. The dad then tells the s**... to bring his mother. He tells her: 'For $1000, would you sleep with your son?' 'Foe a thousand, yes!' She replies. The dad then tells his son: 'You see, theoretically, we have $2000, practically, we have two w**...!'
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair; the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine? The wife said, I swear to all that is holy, he is your son.
Then the husband died, and his wife muttered, thank god he didn't ask about the other three.
Teacher: Your son is just like Elvis
Parents: Oh really? How?
Teacher: We found him dead on the c**....
Doctor: your son is in a stable condition...
doctor: it's so stable, it will never fluctuate again.
Call your son Jack
So you can drop your wife and j**... every morning.
(Actually heard a friend said that)
The devil appears before a lawyer and promises to ensure that he wins every case he takes for the rest of his life.
Lawyer says: It's always about a deal right? What's in it for you? Devil says: I want your soul, your wife's, your son's, and the souls of any more children you have in the future. Lawyer pauses, thinks for a moment, and responds: But what's the catch?
Wrong number perhaps
A women is getting lunch ready when the phone rings.
"This is the middle school calling about your son Johnny. He's been caught telling unbelievable lies."
"I'll say he has," the woman replies, "I don't have a son."
A dad buys a lie detector
He tells his son. This will beep whenever you lie. Where where you? The son says "I was at school" the lie detector beeps. The son says "ok, I was at the sinema with my friends" the lie detector beeps. He says OK I WAS AT MY FRIENDS HOUSE!!! we where drinking and doing drugs" the lie detector does not beep. The dad says "COME ON!!! WHEN I WAS YOUR AGE, I NEVER DID ANYTHING LIKE THAT!!! I was at the park with my friends" the lie detector beeps. The mom says " he really is your son" the lie detector beeps once more
A dad buys a lie detector robot and it slaps anyone who lies
The dad asks his son, where were you today ? And the son says, at school and the robot slaps him. Then the son says ok, ok, ok,... I was watching Kung Fu Panda . Then the robot slaps him again. So the sons says fine...I was hanging out with a girl. And the dad goes what? You're too young to hang out with girls I never hung out with girls at your age and the robot slaps him. Then the mom starts laughing and says well he is your son after all and the robot slaps her.
There's nothing wrong with naming your son Marco....
Until you lose him at the park one day.
I heard your son in the university is quite an author. Does he write for money?
"Yes, in every letter."
Have to charge you 25 dollars
Dentist: I'm sorry, madam, but I'll have to charge you twenty-five dollars for pulling your son's tooth.
Mother: Twenty-five dollars! But I thought you only charged five dollars for an extraction.
Dentist: I usually do. But your son yelled so loud, he scared four other patients out of the office.
My son's music teacher called me "your son is just like Elvis!"
"Is he an equally talented singer?" I asked.
"No", she replied. "We found him dead on a toilet."
How do you tell if your son is gay?
Take the seat off his bike and see if he notices.
I walked into the pharmacist's office and asked for condoms for my 12 year old son.
The pharmacist asked "is your son s**... active?" I replied with "no he just lays there and cries."
