Your Sister Jokes
119 your sister jokes and hilarious your sister puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your sister that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest Your Sister Short Jokes
Short your sister jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your sister humour may include short sister jokes also.
- Everyone knows Alan Turing who cracked Enigma codes. But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided drinks, snacks and sandwiches for him and his colleagues during that time.
- "Hey dad why is my sister called Teresa ?" "Because your mum loves easter and it's an anagram of easter !"
"Thanks dad !"
"No problem Alan" - My sister came up with this. What begins with a P, ends with an E and has a million letters in it post office
- What did our parents do to kill boredom before the internet? I asked my 10 brothers and sisters, but they don't know either.
- Daughter: "Hey dad, how do you feel about abortion?" Father: "Ask your sister.
daughter: "I don't have a si-" - Everybody knows Alan Turing who cracked the enigma codes But nobody knows his sister Kay, who provided all his snacks, sandwiches and drinks
- Gay parents are awesome! * "Hey dad, why is my sister named rose?"
* "Because your other dad loves roses"
* "Thanks dad"
* "No problem, Richard" - Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your sister It tastes the same but it's just not right.
- Cardi B's sister used to spy for the Russian government, but refuses to talk about it publicly They call her 'Cagey B'
- Son: why is my sister called Teresa? Dad: Coz your mum loves Easter - it's an anagram
Son: Thanks dad
Dad: No problem Alan
Share These Your Sister Jokes With Friends
Your Sister One Liners
Which your sister one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your sister? I can suggest the ones about baby sister and younger sister.
- I was raised as an only child which really annoyed my sister
- Happy ramadan to all my Muslim brothers and sisters! This month, lunch is on me.
- What do you call a cow with no legs? My severely diabetic sister.
- Man 1: I have a half sister. Man 2: Different father? Man 1: No, shark attack.
- Found my wife's G Spot lastnight! Turns out her sister had it the whole time!
- What do you feed a hungry robot? Mega-bites.
Just an average joke by my sister - What's baked every day and sells itself? My sister.
- What pickup line do guys use to get girls in Alabama? You're like a sister to me.
- I come from a family of failed magicians I have 2 half sisters
- My deaf sister asked me if I wanted to hear a joke. I said: Sure.
She said: Me too! - What did the pirate say on his 80th birthday? Aye matey
Credit to my sister - What's the hardest part about hearing your sister has AIDS? Acting surprised
- I walked into my sister's room and tripped on a bra. It was a booby-trap.
- My sister asked me if I was gay I couldn't give her a straight answer.
- I asked my Dad, "Dad, what did you want to do when you were my age?" "Your mom's sister."
Uproarious Your Sister Jokes to Share with Friends
What funny jokes about your sister you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean brother sister jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your sister pranks.
My wife texted "I'm leaving you"
And followed with "after lunch to go shopping with my sister."
I asked why in the world she sent the message that way. "I just wanted you to realize how good you have it with me."
I texted her back "Remind your sister she said she would come over later to give me a h**..."
A minute later I finished the message "-searching and resume building."
My boyfriend was dying. I was by his bedside when he said something with a weak voice, "There's something I must confess."
"Shhh" I said "There's nothing to confess. Everything is alright."
"No, I must die in peace" he said, "I had s**... with your sister, your best friend and your co-worker."
"I know" I whispered, "That's why I poisoned you... Now close your eyes."
Two kids were talking...
Kid 1: I bet you're a v**...
Kid 2: I was a v**..., until last night!
Kid 1: Lies!
Kid 2: Ask your sister.
Kid 1: Ha! I don't have a sister!
Kid 2: You will in about nine months!
It's very important to not leave out the word "each." For example, when the price of 4 tacos is $2 vs $2 each, or
When you tell people that you and your sister each have a child
A little boy was looking through the keyhole of his sister's room
Mom says with a smile, "why are you concerned with what your sister is doing in there?"
Boy replies, "I am not concerned with her, I am wondering what dad is doing."
"Hurt me!" she cried, jumping onto the bed and stripping her clothes off seductively...
"Alright," I said. "You're a terrible cook and I fancy your sister."
During an argument with my wife, she dropped the old "why did you even marry me?" line.
Apparently "Your sister was already taken" was not the right answer.
Your mom joke, but clever
Kid 1: "Hey, I bet you're still a v**...."
Kid 2: "Yeah, I was a v**... until last night ."
Kid 1: "As if."
Kid 2: "Yeah, just ask your sister."
Kid 1: "I don't have a sister."
Kid 2: "You will in about nine months."
Two cannibals were eating and the first one says: Your sister makes a delicious soup. The second one says:
True, but now I miss her
A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...
Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!
Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?
I think I am, he said.
You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.
Yes, I guess I am, he said.
That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.
I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.
My wife keeps using the old 'men can't multitask' stereotype..
So i said that's a lie.. I can make love to you AND think of your sister at the same time
Do you believe in abortion?
Girl: Dad, do you believe in abortion?
Father: Ask your sister.
Girl: I don't have a sister...
Father: Exactly.
What does alcohol free beer taste like?
Like going down on your sister. It tastes the same but something's not right.
A daughter asks her father, Dad, what are your views on abortion?
Her father replies, Why don't you ask your sister.
Daughter replies, But I don't have a sister….. oh
A nun was out for a walk...
...when a black van pulls up beside her. A man jumps out and drags her into the van were he proceeds to r**... her. When he's done he stands up beside her and asks:
- So what are you gonna tell your sisters when you get back?
- I will tell them the truth. That a horrible man attacked me and r**... me twice.
- Twice? the man asks.
- Yes. the nun replies. If your not in a rush of course?
Will you get mad?
Wife: *Honey, do I look fat in this dress?*
Husband: *Will you get mad if I tell you the truth?*
Wife: *No, silly. Of course not*
Husband: *I slept with your sister*
Do these jeans make me look fat?
wife : Do these jeans make me look fat?
Me totally scared: Would you get mad if i tell you the truth?
Wife : No, i won't! Tell me.
Me : I slept with your sister
My wife asked me what I thought the sexiest thing was about her.
Apparently, "how much you look like your sister" was not the correct answer.
A little kid walks into his parents' bedroom while they're having s**...
The little boy asked, "What are you doing?"
His mother explains, "Your dad was full of air, so I was jumping on him to get it out."
The boy says, "That's really funny. Whenever you go out for work, your sister comes and blows him right back up."
My neighbor just walked by with two dogs.
I said to him, "I didn't know you had any dogs."
He replied, "They're not my dogs. They're my sister's."
I said, "Wow, your sisters are ugly!"
Non-alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister.
It tastes the same but it's still wrong.
I hate the reasons girls come up with to avoid s**...
"I'm tired, I've had a long day, I have a headache, I'm your sister"....
Little Johnny Has A Question
A boy comes home from school one day looking for his father. He has an assignment that he needs a little help with. He finds his father and tells him that he has to write a paper explaining the difference between potentially and actually.
His father says to him "That's an easy one", "Go upstairs and find your sister; ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000."
So the boy does as he is told. When he comes back down he tells his father what he learned. "She said yes, dad." "So," said his dad "Find your mother, now, and ask her if she'd sleep with the mailman for $10,000 as well."
The boy does as he is asked, and then returns to his father again.
"She said yes too, dad." "Well, there you go." said the dad.
The boy looked at his father, puzzled.
He smiled, "Potentially we're sitting on a gold mine; but, actually I live with a couple of w**...!"
Jake's final conversation
Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside. He looked up and said weakly:
"I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to" his wife replied.
"No," he insisted, "I want to die in peace...I slept with your sister, your best friend, her best friend, and your mother!"
"I know," she replied. "Now just rest and let the poison work."
I'm fed up with the excuses women come up with to avoid having s**......
I'm tired. I'm washing my hair. I've got a headache. I am your sister-in-law.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying?
Are you having a crisis?
Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!
Son:"Daddy, I fell in love & want to date this awesome girl!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Sandra, the neighbor's daughter"
father: "Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that.
I have to tell u something son, but you must promise not to tell your mother.
Sandra is actually your sister.
"The boy is naturally bummed out, but a couple of months later ...
Son: "Daddy, I fell in love again n she is even hotter!"
Father: "That's great son. Who is she?"
Son: "It's Angela, the other neighbor's daughter."
Father: "Ohhhh I wish you hadn't said that.Angela is also your sister."
This went on couple of times and the son was so mad,
he went straight to his mother crying.
Son:"Mum I am so mad at dad! I fell in love with six girls but I can't date any of them because dad is their father!"
The mother hugs him affectionately and says: "My love, you can date whoever you want. Dont listen to him He isn't your father."
Theory vs Reality
Little Billy had a homework assignment to compare theory and reality. The boy asked his father what the difference was between theory and reality. His father told him, 'Go ask your mother if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his mother and she says she would. Billy tells his father she would have s**... with the mailman for million dollars.
The father then tells the boy, 'Now go as your sister if she would have s**... with the mailman for a million dollars.' The boy asks his sister and she to says she would have s**... with the mailman.
Little Billy goes and tells his father both his mom and his sister would have s**... with the mailman and his father says, "Well son, in theory we're multimillionaires, but in reality we live with a couple of w**....
I asked my wife, "when I die, will you remarry?"
She said, "not at all, I'm going to live with my sister." Then she asked me when she dies, would I remarry. I replied, "of course not, I'm going to live with your sister."
So the Bears were looking for a new quarterback.
The coach had put together the perfect team for the Chicago Bears. The only thing that was missing was a good quarterback. He had scouted all the colleges and even the Canadian and European Leagues, but he couldn't find a ringer who could ensure a Super Bowl win.
Then one night while watching CNN he saw a war-zone scene in Afghanistan . In one corner of the background, he spotted a young Afghan Muslim soldier with a truly incredible arm. He threw a hand-grenade straight into a 15th story window 100 yards away.
KABOOM!
He threw another hand-grenade 75 yards away, right into a chimney.
KA-BLOOEY!
Then he threw another at a passing car going 90 mph.
BULLS-EYE!
"I've got to get this guy!" Coach said to himself. "He has the perfect arm!"
So, he brings him to the States and teaches him the great game of football. And the Bears go on to win the Super Bowl.
The young Afghan is hailed as the great hero of football, and when the coach asks him what he wants, all the young man wants is to call his mother.
"Mom," he says into the phone, "I just won the Super Bowl!"
"I don't want to talk to you", the old Muslim woman says."You are not my son!"
"I don't think you understand, Mother," the young man pleads. "I've won the greatest sporting event in the world. I'm here among thousands of my adoring fans."
"No! Let me tell you!" his mother retorts. "At this very moment, there are gunshots all around us. The neighborhood is a pile of rubble. Your two brothers were beaten within an inch of their lives last week, and I have to keep your sister in the house so she doesn't get r**...!" The old lady pauses, and then tearfully says, "I will never forgive you for making us move to Chicago !!!!
A guy tells his friend ...
Man, I'm not a v**... anymore!
Ya right, his friend replies. How can I believe you?
Ask your sister.
Good one, I don't have a sister.
Well, ask her in 9 months.
My GF asked me if I could ever love another girl. I told her actually I would, and she looks just like her but younger... She smiled and said "Will she call me mommy??"
"Well, I don't know Kate, does your sister call you Mommy?"
A boy asks his dad the difference between theory and reality..
Dad: "Go ask your sister and your mom if they'd sleep with the neighbor for a million bucks".
The boy returns awhile later...
Dad: "Well, what'd they say?"
Son: "They said that they would, but I still don't understand the difference between theory and reality".
Dad: "Son, in theory we could be millionaires but in reality we live with a couple of w**...".
Lucky day for Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly.
Philadelphia Eagles head coach Chip Kelly was watching the news when he witnessed something astounding. A young Syrian man had just thrown a hand grenade over 100 yards through the window of a building into a room that housed a s**.... He was so impressed that he had the man found and brought into the states to play for his team.
After a very successful rookie season the young man was discussing his rookie of the year award via telephone with his mother.
She told him that she was proud but living in fear constantly. She continued " your brother was shot twice just in the last few weeks and your sister is regularly the victim of assault. Matters have escalated and life is worse than it has ever been. I will never, ever forgive you for bringing us to Philly."
A happy family.
Son: Dad, I like this awesome girl and want to date her.
Dad: Who is she?
Son: Our next door neighbor's daughter, Sandra.
Dad: Ohhh I wish you hadn't said that son. I have to tell you something but promise me that you will not tell your mom. Sandra is actually your sister.
The boy is obviously bummed out. He finds another girl, but dad tells him that is his sister too. This happens a few more time and he gets frustrated. So he decides to tell his mom.
Son: Mom, I am so mad at dad. I fell in love with 4 girls but can't date any of them because dad is their father.
His mom hugs him affectionately and says,
Mom: Son, you can date anybody you want. Don't listen to him. He is not your father.
Devil in the Church
One Sunday morning, Satan appeared before a small town congregation. Everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away.
Soon, everyone was gone, except for an elderly gentleman who sat calmly. Satan walked up to the man and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't," said the man.
Perturbed, Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man calmly replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
Difference between Hypothetical and actual
So a young boy comes home from school and says, "dad, my teacher said my homework for the night is to find out the difference between hypothetical and actual."
His dad says, " well son, go ask your mother if she'd sleep with her boss for a million dollars. Then, go ask your sister if she'd sleep with her principal for a million dollars and come back, tell me what they said. "
So the young boy goes and asks both his mom and sister, comes back. "dad, they both said yes."
"Well son, that's your answer."
"But I don't get it", the boy says.
"Ya see, HYPOTHETICALLY we could be millionaires but, we're ACTUALLY living with a couple of w**...."
A Text From Mom
A mom sent a text to her son...
Hi! Son, what does IDK, LY, & TTYL mean?
The son replied: I Don't Know, Love You, & Talk To You Later.
The mom replied back to him: It's ok, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister, love you too.
Satan appeared before a small town congregation and everyone started screaming and running for the front church door, trampling each other in a frantic effort to get away...
Soon everyone was gone except for an elderly gentleman, who sat calmly.
Satan walked up to him and said, "Don't you know who I am?"
The man replied, "Yep, sure do."
Satan asked, "Aren't you going to run?"
"Nope, sure ain't." said the man.
Satan asked, "Why aren't you afraid of me?"
The man replied, "Been married to your sister for over 48 years."
I was on a date and my girl asked me to tell her something sweet.
I said "Candy."
She said "No, I mean, something I'd like."
"Shoes."
"Noooo, something s**...."
"Your sister."
"Dad, what do you think about abortion?"
--Ask your sister
--But I don't have a sis...
I asked my dad if I could go to a 50 cent concert
He said yeah sure, here's a dollar. Take your sister too.
If patricide is killing your father, matricide is killing your mother, and fratricide is killing your brother...
Is pesticide killing your sister?
My wife and I both made a list of five people we could sleep with...
She read hers out: 'One, George Clooney; two, Brad Pitt; three, Justin Timberlake; four, Jake Gyllenhaal; five, Johnny Depp.' I thought, I've got the better deal here: 'One, your sister... That's where our conversation ended..
A man would come home very late and very drunk every night.
His wife decides to teach him a lesson by dressing up like Satan and scaring him.
When he finally stumbles across the lawn, his wife jumps out and howls like a d**....
He looks at her and slurs, "You don't scare me. I'm married to your sister!"
Remarriage
Laying in bed, a husband asks his wife, "If I die, will you remarry?"
"Of course not darling" she replies, "I'll live with my sister. And if I die, will you remarry?"
And the husband replies "Of course not honey, I will also stay with your sister."
Husband...Before I die I need to confess something. Wife..Sssshhh now there's nothing to confess everything is all right.
Husband.. No I must die in peace. I slept with your sister your best friend and two of your co-workers.
Wife..I know. That's why I poisoned you. Rest now.
A small boy walks in on his parents having s**......
...he asks his parents what are they doing:
"We're making your sister "
"Do her d**..., i want a puppy!"
"May I sleep with your sister?" is such an awkward question to ask.
I have no idea how my dad is going to respond.
A guy with 2 dogs walks into a bar
A guy walks into his local bar with two dogs. "I didn't know you had dogs," the bartender comments. "They're not my dogs," the guy replies. "They're my sister's." "Wow, your sisters are ugly," the bartender says.
A son asked his dad.
Son : Dad, what's the different beetwen me and my sister??
Father : You see your sister over there??
Son : No.
Father : Exactly, you're blind and your sister's not
Non alcoholic beer is like eating out your sister
Tastes the same as others, but it just isn't right...
Wife: Honey, how do you like my new haircut? Husband: Can I be honest? Wife: Sure. …
Husband: I slept with your sister.
What were the hung man's last words?
What's the big deal? Your sister had no problem taking it.
Your sister won't stop crying?
You've got yourself a crisis
A husband asks his wife: If I died, would you marry again?
A husband asks his wife:
-
If I died, would you marry again?
-
Oh darling, of course I wouldn't. I'd go and live with my sister. And if I died, would you remarry?
-
No, I think I'd go and live with your sister too.
Satan walks into a church....
Satan walks into a church and sits down next to a guy. Satan asks the guy his name, the guy says Fred. Satan than asks why are you not afraid of me? Fred says, I've been married to your sister for 40 years.
What's worst than f**... your sister?
Finding your dad's wedding ring inside.
What do your sister and snow have in common?
I plow both.
If you marry a woman in Tennessee, but divorce her in Kentucky...
... is she still your sister?
Rodeo s**...
When you're making love to your girl d**... and bend over and whisper in her ear, this is how your sister likes it too , and try and hold on for 8 seconds.
Dave and John have a conversation
Dave: Are you a v**...
John: I was, until yesterday
Dave: I don't believe you
John: No, seriously, ask your sister
Dave: I don't have a sister
John: You will in 9 months.
*flies away snickering on his magic unicorn*
The coach discovers he is going to die in a week
He tells his wife: I want to clear my conscience. I have been unfaithful to you, only once, with your sister.
She says: That's okay. I too have been unfaithful to you, only once, with the football team.
Near-beer is like going down on your sister..
It may taste the same, but it aint right.
A boy goes on holiday to Mexico and texts his mate saying "Weather out here is just like your mother, 36 and hot"
His mate replies "Weather back here is just like your sister, 16 and wet"
John told his wife, "I've got a problem."
She stopped him right there. "No dear, WE have a problem. We're in this together John. We married for better or for worse. Therefore, your problem is our problem." John sighed in relief. "Well, now it's hardly worth mentioning." But his wife was insistent. "Go ahead John'', tell me. What's wrong?" John answered, "Somehow, we got your sister pregnant!"
Names
A young native American goes to see the chief of his tribe.
"Chief", he asks, "how are the names of children of our tribe decided?"
"Ah", says the Chief. "Well. When a child is born, the mother brings it to me. I look outside my wigwam, and the first thing I see becomes the child's name. For instance, that is why your brother's name is "Rushing Stream", and your sister's name is "Majestic Tree".
"Does that answer your question, Dog Having A Dump?"
A Native American child asks his father how they choose children's names.
Father - "After you are born, we open the tepee and the first thing we see is what we name you. Like your eldest brother, Soaring Eagle, your sister, Falling Leaves, and your little brother, Grizzly Cub. Why do you ask Two Dogs h**...?"
Son asks Jewish dad for money
Son: Dad, can you give me fifty dollars?
Dad: Fourty dollars? Why do you need thirty dollars? Here, take twenty and split it with your sister.
A girl asks her father how she got her name
The man replies, "well, Daisy, when you were born a daisy pedal fell off the flower and onto your head, just as a rose pedal did with your sister, Rose." Then her younger sister came running in Laughing and screaming uncontrollable, to which the father shouted, "stop it Cinderblock!"
Alcohol Free Beer
Is a lot like going down on your sister.
It tastes the same but it's just plain wrong.
What's the difference between your sister and a washing machine?
A washing machine only takes one load at a time.
Generation gap
A mum texts, Hi! Son, what do IDK, LY and TTYL mean?
He texts back, I don't know, love you and talk to you later.
The mother replies, It's OK, don't worry about it. I'll ask your sister. Love you too.
A boy learned about abortion is school one day...
When the boy got home he found his parents on the couch.
"Mom, Dad, what do you think about abortion?" He asked.
"I don't know," replied his dad, "ask your sister."
"I don't have a sis-"
(Thanks to my friend, Alex, for telling me that joke.)
Most common Last words before death
1. throw me that grenade, i know how to deal with it.
2. it's 100% safe!
3. green is always grounding.
4. turn left, I know it there.
5. I slept with your sister.
6. it's ok, dogs loves me.
7. oh, they changed color of my pills.
8. Somebody forgot his suitcase.
9. let's have one beer
10. Chuck Norris doesn't exis...
Three children ask their parents how they got their names
The parents reply to the first child, That's east Rose, not long after you were born a rose petal fell onto your head .
The second child butts in, But dad where did you you get the name Daisy?
The same as your sister, a daisy petal fell on your head
Mughuahuhwawawah
Shut up Fridge!
What do your friends say when you get rejected by your sister from Alabama?
d**... bro you got chromo-zoned.
Rodeo Position
Two old cowboys are sitting around a campfire and drinking. Somewhat drunk and not in the best frame of mind one turns to the other and say's I miss my missus, but when we make love it's always the same . Somewhat taken aback, but curious nonetheless, the other cowboy asks how's that? We always use the old m**... the old cowboy replies. Thinking about this the other cowboy says If you want some excitement you need to try the Rodeo position . The cowboy says What's that?
Well you start off d**..., behind her. Then you lean forward and with your right hand grab her right breast, and with your left hand grab her left breast, with your face beside her head you whisper gently in her ear, Yep feels just like your sister , and then hold on for dear life.
Drinking alcohol-free beer..
..is like giving o**... s**... to your sister. The taste is the same, but deep inside, you know that something is terribly wrong.
