Your Papa Jokes
118 your papa jokes and hilarious your papa puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your papa that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Your Papa Short Jokes
Short your papa jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your papa humour may include short your daddy jokes also.
- A baby roach asks his dad what happens if they get sprayed with Raid. Papa Roach said, Suffocation, no breathing.
- A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks "Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"
Papa is surprised and asks "20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?" - I bought a shirt and some neckwear from Ebay that used to belong to the guy from the Mamas & the Papas All the sleeves are brown and the tie is gray
- String Fight My ex used to hit me with stringed instruments. If only I had known about her history of violin.
- Late one night in the USSR there is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door.
'It's all right,' he says, coming back. 'The building's on fire.' - Baby Roach: "Papa, what happens if the humans spray us with Raid?" Papa Roach: "Suffocation. No breathing."
- What did The Magic Flute opera singer say when his son asked him whether his putting on a costume loaded with feathers meant that he was a homosexual? Papa gay? No!
- A very curious kid Kid: Papa, are you growing taller all the time?
Father: No, my child. Why do you ask?
Kid: Because the top of your head is poking up through your hair. - "Someone's been sleeping in MY bed!" said Papa Bear. "Someone's been sleeping in MY bed!" said Mama Bear.
"Please stop fighting," sobbed Baby Bear. "It's Christmas." - Don and his son Big time gangster Don Vito Corleone picked up his son Santino after his annual exams. 'How was it?' he asked.
'They questioned me for three hours, papa. But I told them nothing.'
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Your Papa One Liners
Which your papa one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your papa? I can suggest the ones about papa and yo daddy.
- What did the mama bullet say to the papa bullet? We're going to have a BB!
- If Papa Roach goes on their final vacation is it to their last resort?
- What happens when you squeeze a smurf? You papa smurf!
- If a take and bake pizza can go wrong, it will. Papa Murphy's law.
- Why did Papa John sue Papa John's? He kneaded the dough.
- Somebody's been sleeping in my bed! Said the Papa bear Then the Mama bear divorced him.
- Papa John's apparently got bought by the NRA Now it's called Papa Cap
- What's Papa John's favorite pizza? The White Supreme
- What's a fun name to call your new Italian Step-Dad? Papa Guinea
- Papa's Pizzeria... No Daddy's Pizzeria
- What did Kid Hippie say to Papa Hippie? RV there yet?
- Papa Gino's have closed many locations They ran out of dough
- shakira : "Telling lies?" Hips : "No Papa"
- How did Papa John's rebrand themselves following the racial scandal? Uncle Tom's
- My dad Rotsy takes pictures of famous people. I guess you could say he's my Papa Rotsy.
Heartwarming Your Papa Jokes that Make You Laugh
What funny jokes about your papa you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean your nana jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your papa pranks.
What does the Pope use to cut potatoes? El pela papas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mother: "Sweetie, make a Christmas wish."
Girl: "I wish that Santa will send some clothes to those n**... girls in papa's computer."
Mama Raptor and Papa Raptor were in court getting a divorce and the judge offered Baby Raptor a choice of which parent to live with.
JUDGE: "Do you want to live with your mother?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No! She beats me."
JUDGE: "OK, then you can live with your father."
BABY RAPTOR: "No! He beats me too!"
JUDGE: "Well you have to live with someone. Who do you want to live with?"
BABY RAPTOR: "I want to live with my Aunt Bertha in Toronto."
JUDGE: "Is there any chance she'll beat you also?"
BABY RAPTOR: "No sir. The Toronto Raptors don't beat anybody."
Boy’s father come back from uk & was calling his wife.
Boy:- papa mom has died.
father slaped boy & said why u dont inform me when i was in America
Boy :- i thought i will give u a surprise.
Daughter: Mom,does God go to bathroom?
Mom: Why? my child..
Daughter: Today in the morning I heard papa said, "Please God let me go to the bathroom..."
Mama bear to Papa bear: "Well... You might call it hibernating — I call it goofing off ."
Chuck Norris was the image used for Papa Smurf.
Mama and Papa Bear are getting divorced...
and the Judge is asking Baby bear who he wishes to live with. "So, is it Mama or Papa?" the Judge asks.
"Mama and Papa beat me," says Baby Bear.
"Well do you have any other relatives?" asked the Judge.
"I have an uncle in Chicago," replies Baby Bear.
"Does he beat you too?" asks the Judge.
"Naww," says Baby Bear. "The Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."
Goldilocks and the Three Bears (American Football Fans Will Understand)
Mama bear and Papa bear are getting a divorce after the fiasco with Goldilocks, but they must decide custody of baby bear.
The judge takes baby bear aside, and asks politely, "Would you like to live with Papa Bear?"
"No," Baby Bear answers, "Papa Bear beats me!"
"Oh no." the judge replies. "Then you can live with Mama Bear."
"No!" Baby Bear exclaims. "She beats me too!"
"Oh dear." Says the judge. "Well then, who do you want to live with?"
"I want to live with the Chicago Bears because they never beat anyone!"*
*This isn't true as the Bears are the best team ever.
I don't want to get up, Papa.
An elderly gentleman knocks on his son's bedroom door. John, he says, wake up!
John answers, I don't want to get up, Papa.
The father shouts, Get up, you have to go to school.
John says, I don't want to go to school.
Why not? asks the father.
Three reasons, says John. First, because it's so dull; second, the kids tease me; and third, I hate school.
And the father says, Well, I am going to give you three reasons why you must go to school. First, because it is your duty; second, because you are forty-five years old, and third, because you are the headmaster.
There Once Lived A Family of Moles on a Hill.
On morning Papa Mole woke up and walked to the entrance of the burrow. He was greeted with the most beautiful morning he had ever seen. The sunrise shone brightly and scents of spring wafted through the air.
"This is amazing!" Papa exclaimed "Ma! Come and see this! The morning's beautiful and I smell... I think I smell pancakes! With syrup and blueberry!
So Ma Mole comes out into the doorway and says, "You're right! I can smell... Eggs! Eggs and Bacon with crispy toast! Junior, you must smell this!"
So Junior gets up and tries to squeeze between the two big moles. He tries and tries, but finds himself wedged between their backsides.
"Junior!" Ma says, "What do you smell?"
"I don't know" he replies, "All I can smell is molasses!"
Papa Johns delivered to the World Trade Center on 9/11...
They were 2 large plains.
Instincts
One day there was a papa bear, a mama bear and a baby bear walking down a forest path. They were happily following the path home until they came to a fork in the road. They were not sure which way to take.
The papa bear chimed in and said "My instincts tell me that we ought to follow the left path!"
The mama bear replied to this "My instincts tell me that the right path is the correct way to go".
The baby bear, listening to both his mama's and his papa's input, replied "My end stinks too, but it's not telling me anything."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We usually yell "Oh God". Do you know what many Afghani boys scream out loud, when they have s**...?
"Aahista, Plaar... Aahista"
(Pashto) roughly translates as: "Slowly, Papa... slowly"
Jokes from glorious motherland USSR
A man is walking along the road wearing only one boot. 'Did you lose a boot?' a passerby asks sympathetically. 'No, I found one,' the man answers happily.
What is it that doesn't knock, growl or scratch the floor? A machine made in the USSR for knocking, growling, and scratching the floor.
It is the middle of the night. There is a knock at the door. Everyone leaps out of bed. Papa goes shakily to the door. 'It's all right,' he says, coming back. 'The building's on fire.'
A shopper asks a food store clerk, 'Are you all out of meat again?' 'No, they're out of meat in the store across the way. Here we're out of fish.'
Why doesn't the Soviet Union send people to the Moon? They are afraid they won't come back.
A man fell asleep on a bus. When someone stepped on his foot, he woke with a start and applauded. 'What are you doing, citizen?' 'I was dreaming I was at a meeting.'
'What is the difference between Pravda [Truth] and Izvestia [The News]?'
'There is no truth in The News, and no news in the Truth.'
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Tomato Family
A Papa Tomato, a Mama Tomato, and a Baby Tomato are all walking down the street. The Baby Tomato starts to trail behind. The Papa Tomato turns around and walks over to the Baby Tomato, SMASHES him, and says "Ketchup!"
It's the kid's Joke time..
Here's a lovely joke for all:
Papa : Why is your mummy sitting silently today.
Son : Nothing papa. She asked for lipstick and i heard fevistick(glue).
Papa: (With tears in eyes) God bless you son.
Potato Family Circus
Mama Potato and Papa Potato had a precious little baby Sweet Potato. Life was wonderful. The little Sweet Potato grew up and eventually went away to college, making her parents very, very proud.
One day the little Sweet Potato returned home for a surprise visit. "Mom, Dad," she proudly exclaimed, "I have some very exciting news for you! I want you to meet the man I am going to marry!!!" Her parents were brimming with joy. Their little Sweet Potato goes outside to fetch her new mate and comes in and says, "Mom, Dad, I'd like you to meet Walter Cronkite!"
"Walter Cronkite!?" her parents exclaimed in utter disbelief. "You can't marry him, he's a commentator!!"
Holy Moly! - What's that smell!?
A mama mole, a papa mole, and a baby mole all lived in a little mole hole. One day the papa mole stuck his head out of the hole, sniffed the air and said: "Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole stuck her head out of the hole, sniffed the air and said "Yum! I smell honey!"
The baby mole tried to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but couldn't because of the bigger moles were in the way so he said: "Geez, all I can smell is..."
Are you sure you're ready?
You may never forgive me for this one...
*MOLASSES*
A Jewish kid goes up to his dad...
Son: "Hey papa?"
Father: "Yes, ma' boy?"
Son: "I met this beautiful girl at temple today. I want to take her out. Can I borrow fifty bucks?
Father: "Forty bucks? What the heck are you gonna do with thirty bucks? Do I look like I have twenty bucks heres fifteen now take ten and bring me back five."
There's 3 bears..
Mama bear, papa bear and baby bear.
The parents get divorced and have to go to court to decide custody of the baby bear. The judge decides to let the baby decide:
"do you want to go with your momma baby?"
Baby replies : " no because she beats me!"
Judge: " How about with your papa?"
Baby:" No he beats me too!"
Judge :"then what do you want to do baby bear?"
Baby: "I want to go with the Chicago bears"
Judge:" why the Chicago bears?"
Baby "Because they don't beat anyone!"
I'm from Chicago, a homeless guy told me this one on my way home from work because I have a bears patch on my bag. Found it funny but it hurt!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
C-3PO
Papa, when C-3PO is n**..., he is see-through PO (My 5 1/2 y/o just came up with this. I think it's funny, for a 5 y/o :-))
Why is Simba slower that his dad?
Because his papa mufasa.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
only joke i ever made up.. What did the papa pear tree say to his effeminate male son?
GROW A PAIR!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
One day Papa bear came downstairs to eat his dinner...
**"WHO HAS ATE MY SOUP"** ,he bellowed as he had seen that his plate before him empty. Little bear came downstairs as well and to his shock, his bowl was empty too. "WHO ATE FROM *MY* BOWL?", he pondered aloud. At this point mama bear came out of the kitchen and replied," What do you guys mean 'who has ate from my soup?' I haven't even gotten serve it yet!"
There was a papa mole, a momma mole,
Papa Murphy's slogan : Love at 425 degrees. Subway's new slogan : Love at 6 inches.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Mama whale and Papa whale ...
... swim and look upon sailors coming towards them. The sailors are on small boats and have their spear in hand.
Papa whale says to mama whale:
-"They're hunting us, we should make bubbles and tip them over."
The mama whale agrees. They dive underneath the ships and blow so many bubbles that the ships capsize and the sailors fall into the water, but they still have their spears in their hands. Papa whale is still weary.
He says to mama whale:
-"We should eat them".
Mama whale says:
-"Listen, I agreed to the b**..., but I'm not swallowing s**...."
An old man is dying..
His grandson asks him, "papa.. What will happen to your body when you die?" the grandfather looks up weakly at him and says, "I decay...". Just then his monitor flat lines and the boy sat wondering why his grandfather didnt know what would happen to his corpse.
What do you call the Indian Godfather?
Papa Dom
What is the Popes favorite trick to do on a bike?
Papa-wheelie!
Papa johns missed a great opportunity with the phrase "pizzagate"
It could've been like "ARE they better ingredients??"
Some campers wake up in the morning and start making breakfast...
Nearby is a family of moles living in their burrow underground. Papa mole wakes up and crawls up to the hole and says, "It smells delicious up here! I can smell sausage and eggs and is that some ham frying too?" So mama mole climbs up and she's greeted with the sweet smells of breakfast. "I smell fresh toast and flap jacks and maybe a hint of cinnamon!" Baby mole tries to enjoy the smells but can't get past mama and papa through the hole and says, "All I can smell is molasses."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Pizza is like s**...
Pizza is like s**...
I only get it from Papa John
What do you call a peace activist who is starting a pizza delivery business?
Papa Gandhi
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the least productive country in the world?
The Vatican. They've only ever produced 27 papas.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Once Papa Bear, Mama Bear and Baby Bear had upset stomachs.
They went to the doctor who gave Papa Bear a big dose, Mama Bear a medium dose, and Baby Bear a little dose, and asked them to come again the next day.
The next day, the doctor asked them about the condition of their stomach.
Papa Bear said, "Me very thankful, me did a tankful."
Mama Bear said, "Me very grateful, me did a plateful."
Baby Bear said, "Me broken hearted, me only f**...."
If a father asked their child if they would like a tropical fruit, would the child respond,
Papa, ya
I asked Papa Smurf if he was sad
He replied, "Yeah, I'm feeling a bit blue."
So Cool Papa walks into a pie shop...
He asks, "how's the pecan pie?"
The Beatnik behind the counter sez "I'm sorry, but, the pecan pie's gone."
Cool Papa sez "Solid. I'll take two slices."
I couldn't help singing My Girl and Papa Was A Rollin' Stone
It was just too much of a temptation!
What did the papa pear tree say to his child pear tree who was too afraid to grow his first fruits?
Son? Grow a pear.
Anecdote
- Daughter, why my bottle of whiskey half empty?
- Because you're a pessimist, Papa.
Mmmm this papa John's pizza is good
It's so much better fired
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A family of cockroaches has been traveling up and down the Vegas s**... for several months.
Their time was spent visiting the many hotels and resorts that Vegas has to offer.
They only stayed at each hotel for a few weeks before moving on, because they didnt want to attract the attention of exterminators. However, by the third month of this nomadic lifestyle, the parent roaches started disagreeing on what their next move was.
Mother cockroach- well honey, I really do think we should keep moving! traveling this much isn't good for the kids! how do you think they feel, having to switch roach schools every few weeks?!
papa roach- this is my last resort
A cursed child is born.
Says mama, mother dies.
Says papa, bus driver dies.
Three tomatoes are walking down the street
Papa tomato, Mama tomato and Baby Tomato.
Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Papa tomato gets really angry. He goes back and squishes him and says,
Ketchup
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Papa says he likes s**... Temple Pilots
I say papa you mean lik Sully Sullenberger?
I don't get all the fuss about Nintendo Labo.
Papa John's has been selling cardboard for over 30 years.
If you can read this...
India Mike November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Golf India Victor Echo Yankee Oscar Uniform Uniform Papa November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Lima Echo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform Delta Oscar Whiskey November November Echo Victor Echo Romeo Golf Oscar November November Alpha Romeo Uniform November Alpha Romeo Oscar Uniform November Delta Alpha November Delta Delta Echo Sierra Echo Romeo Tango Yankee Oscar Uniform.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Top 15 jokes I am sick of
15. These
14. s**...
13. Lists
12. Where
11. Every
10. Entry
9. Is
8. A
7. Word
6. Except
5. For
4. The
3. First
2. One
1. Papa stealing my nose
Many people don't know this but Papa Johns wasn't the first pizza place with a racist CEO.
It was actually Hunt Brothers.
A rapper, who had just got out of surgery, over-exerted himself...
They call him Papa Stitch.
I heard Papa John is getting into another business....
Paper Johns
The hard -er seems right up his alley.
Finally! We got a reply from kiki
She only loves her bed and her papa, she is sorry Drake.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Papa John dated a lesbian midget once
It didn't work out; she was into little scissors.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Dominos is Fixing p**... holes on your trip to get pizza!
Meanwhile, at Papa John's...
It's been a big year for my eight-year-old
A little less than a month ago, he made his first confession. Took the cops four and a half hours to break him. He's got some willpower, papas proud.
"I love it when you call me, Big Papa"
\- Moses, to the burning bush
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What was h**...'s nickname after he was caught taking pictures of himself?
Papa-n**....
I called and ordered a large pepperoni pizza from Papa Johns. They asked if I wanted to Papa Size it. I said no...
Just a large.
The best name for a child
I want to name my child squat so when he's a grandpa his grandchildren will call him papa squat.
Before he passed, my grandfather was a professional photographer.
Oh how I miss good ol papa razzi
A very little girl enters a room where her father and elder brother were talking.
"Hi Papa!" the girl says.
"Good morning, Promises." The father replies.
"Papa, why is brother sad?" Promises asks.
"Condoms just found out that I named you two after things that I have broken."
My grandmother and grandfather's names were Pearl and Dean...
But I always called them Grandma and Grand PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPAPA, PAPA PAPA PAPA PAPAAAAAA, PA!
Dad and his son Billy, age 5, had a conversation. Dad: Billy listen. Your mother and I have decided that we can't live together anymore.
Billy: But papa, where will mommy live??
Dad: She'll still live here.
Billy: Oh papa I will miss you.
Dad: I will miss you too Billy. Now pack up your stuff you got 15minutes to get the f\*\*k out.
