Your Nan Jokes
38 your nan jokes and hilarious your nan puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your nan that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Your Nan Short Jokes
Short your nan jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your nan humour may include short your grandma jokes also.
- I went to a Indian restaurant last night. After I had ordered, a little old lady came to me and said, "Aren't you polite. You have such lovely manners." It was my complimentary nan
- Just goes to show, you're never to old to try new things. My nan starting running when she was 65, she's 71 now and we've no idea where she is.
- I remember the last thing my nan said to me before she died. "What are you doing here with that hammer?" (Lee Mack)
- My Nan just got this cool senior citizen scooter And man is that thing fast. It can do 30 aisles per hour!
- A clean Nantucket limerick There once was a man from Nantucket
Who kept all his cash in a bucket
His daughter, named Nan,
Ran away with a man
And as for the bucket, Nan tuck it - My gran fell asleep last night while she was eating piri piri chicken She had a cheeky nan dose
- A man went to an Indian restaurant in Japan and was served some naan. He had never had this dish before so he asked the waiter, "Nan desu ka?" The waiter replied, "Hai, naan desu."
- my nan gay man: what year is it again?
other man: 300 BCE
man: what does BCE even stand for?
other man: before current era
man: but it is the current era - My Nan lives alone. I always wonder... If she falls and there is nobody else around to hear her... does she make a noise?
I'm just kidding. She's dead.
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Your Nan One Liners
Which your nan one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your nan? I can suggest the ones about your ma and granny.
- What's a programmer's least favorite bread? NaN bread
- My nan was beaten to death by my grandad It was by about 2yrs
- Why did the Indian programmer divide by zero? To get NaN.
- I got Indian food with a friend and paid for all the bread It was a nan issue.
- i snorted my nans ashes once not all of it, just half a gran
- What is the most popular ethnic snack among Programmers? NaN
- What do you call your thirty-bleven-year-old grandma? NaN
- Nan, what is death? Nan? NAN? ..
- My nan caught me w**... once. Her hands are so soft...
- Paedophiles are a myth paedophiles are a myth and ya nan is a t**....
Unearthly Funniest Your Nan Jokes to Tickle Your Sides
What funny jokes about your nan you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean my mum jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your nan pranks.
Toilet brush
Whilst this is a joke, my nan actually told me this yesterday and insists it's a true story from the 60s when she lived in Cornwall...
So, my grandma was was walking down the street and her neighbour, let's call her Beverley, was heading towards her carrying her shopping but was walking kind of funny.
Naturally my Nan asked if everything was okay and if she's alright, had she hurt herself? No she said, I'm okay, I've just bought one of those new toilet brushes, but I think I'm going to switch back to paper
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
After my mother's f**..., we all went for lunch at an Indian restaurant. When the waiter came to check that we had everything on our order he noticed my daughter crying.
He asked me what was wrong, I told him she was just missing her nan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If an Indian programmer has no bread and his computations don't even give #NAN
that's double trouble.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I was walking around the hospital...
I was walking around the hospital yesterday looking to visit my Nan. When I got to the correct area in the hospital I saw a sign saying s**... Patients Here .
I never did get to visit my Nan, thanks to hospital security.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Nan 'n' Fran
**Nan:** What part of a fish weighs the most?
**Fran:** Its scales.
****
*^From ^the ^epic ^fantasy ^adventure ^novel: ^101 ^Silly ^Summertime ^Jokes*
A report claims that Apple has so much cash
A report claims that Apple has so much cash that it can give every American $556. Apple responded by saying, "or we could release a slightly different version of the iPhone, and everyone will give use $556." -Co Nan
Went shopping this afternoon.
Good deed done today.
This afternoon at the Morrisons check out I was behind an old lady in the queue. Her bill came to £56.83 but when she counted out all her change and she only had just under £50. I thought she was probably someone's Nan and I'd like to think someone would have helped my Nan out when she was alive.
She didn't want me to help her but I insisted...................and in no time we had all her shopping back on the shelves...
Have a great Christmas! :)
A rather long winded joke, read all of it to get the punchline...
Right, so there was this guy that lost his eye in a car accident, and after losing it he hadn't been out of his house much, aside from having to go shopping, because he was so embarrassed. One day his friends come over to his house, and they say "look man, you've got to come to the dance next week, it'll be fun, and you haven't done anything in ages." The man stubbornly refuses, until his friends stop pestering him about it, but the next day, they come back, and say "well, we've got a bit if a surprise for you... We've put together enough money to buy you a fake eye." The man says "that's great! thanks so much!" His friends then say, "but, you have to promise to come to the dance once you've got one. The man thinks it over, he's still a bit embarrassed, but eventually agree. So the man and his friends drive to the eye store and walk up to the man at the counter. "Hello," says one of the eyeless mans friends, "we're here to buy a fake eye for our friend here, do you have any in stock?" The nan at the counter says "we certainly do, and walks into the back of the shop, returning later with a box of beautiful glass eyes. "These a very good quality eyes," the man said "they're hand painted, and we have a match for pretty much any eye colour. "Great!" Says one of the mans friends, "how much do they cost?" "Well" says the man at the counter, "these are very good quality, so you're looking at around $1500 to $2000" "well" says the mans friend, "we don't really have that much to spend... Do you have any others?" "Certainly," says the man at the counter who puts the lid back on the glass eyes, walks into the back of the shop, coming back with a box full of plastic eyes. "These ones are also hand painted, but they aren't as well-painted as the glass eyes, and they aren't quite as matching, but they are still rather indistinguishable from normal eyes. "Right," say the mans friends, "how much do they cost?" "Um... These," says the salesman "will cost around $900" "sorry," says the man to his friend, "but we don't have quite enough for those, either. Do you have any more?" He says, turning back to the man at the counter. "We do have some wood eyes, says the man at the counter," he then produces a box from under the counter. "These wood eyes aren't hand painted, and won't be able to get a really good colour match, but we can find a passable colour, I'm sure." Says the man at the counter, " and they'll only cost about $120" "right" says the eyeless mans friend, "we'll take this one then." He takes a dark green eye from the box, and gives it to his friend, handing the man at the counter the money. The friends drive home, trying to cheer the eyeless man up, as they eye isn't entirely convincing. "It's okay," says the eyeless mans friend it'll be fine, it won't even be that light at the dance, and your eye won't show." So the man reluctantly goes to the dance the next week. Once arriving at the dance, the man sits alone in a corner until everyone else has a dance partner. The mans three friends come over to him, and encourage him to get a partner, "how about her over there?" The mans friend points to a woman sitting alone in a corner on the other side of the room. "Come on," prompts his friend "you can't have come all this way for nothing." "Alright," says the man, "I'll ask her to dance. As he walks over he realises the lady has a bit of a hunch back, and starts having second thoughts. "I'm no better" says the man to himself, and someone's up his courage and asks her to dance. "Would you like to have an dance" asks the man. "Would I!? Would I!?" Asks the woman. "Hunch back! Hunch back! Yells the man and runs back to the corner.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In hard times, a young woman becomes a p**......
For obvious reasons, she tries to keep this hidden from her only relative, her old grandma.
One cold evening, the brothel that the p**... works in is raided by police. All s**... workers are forced to wait in a line outside to show identification and documents.
As luck would have it, nan was in this bad area in town saw her granddaughter in the queue. She asked "Why are you standing in line here dear, are you not cold?". Trying to think of a good alibi, the grand daughter told her that the policeman were handing out free oranges.
Excited by the prospects of free oranges, the old lady said "Why how awfully nice of them, I might get some myself" and went to the back of the line.
A policeman, going down the line for more information looks very suprised when he comes to the four foot eight female yoda. "Wow, how do you keep at it at your age?".
"Well darling, I just take my dentures out, rip the skin back, and s**... them dry".
