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Your Life Choices Jokes

31 your life choices jokes and hilarious your life choices puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your life choices that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Your Life Choices Short Jokes

Short your life choices jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your life choices humour may include short lifestyle jokes also.

  1. I like my women like I like my alcohol Responsible for a fair majority of my terrible life choices
  2. If someone wants to date me, I don't want to date them. Because they obviously make bad life choices.
  3. To anyone who works at McDonalds who is feeling bad about their life choices just remember... You can technically put White House Catering staff on your CV now
  4. I'm Pro Life Don't get me wrong, I'm all for killing babies, I just don't like to let women make choices.
  5. I can't decide between being pro-life and pro-choice On one hand, I want as many babies to die as possible, but on the other, I don't want women to have a choice.
  6. I am satisfied with my life choices. I no longer pay for rent, food, electricity and blow jobs... not until my jail term ends...
  7. Sometimes late at night in bed, I wonder what life choices do I have to make to be the guy who says 'yeah' in the background of hip-hop songs.
  8. Would you trade a Politician's life to end the Covid-19 outbreak? If the answer is 'Yes', please provide answer the following questions:
    Which one would be your choice?
    And why Trump?
  9. You Don't Have to Choose Between Being Pro-Life or Pro-Choice As long as you are Pro-Phylactic
  10. Point of Halloween is to dress as something you are not So this year I am dressed as someone that is entirely happy with the professional and personal choices in my life

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Your Life Choices One Liners

Which your life choices one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your life choices? I can suggest the ones about choice and love life.

  1. Why'd the chicken cross the road Because it can make its own life choices
  2. I'm pro-choice; pro-life is for babies.
  3. What does an unvaccinated kid tell his friends to justify his choice? Life is too short.
  4. Your life doesn't get better by chance. It gets better by choice.
  5. I'm single by choice. Unfortunately, it's not my choice.
  6. Chuck Norris doesn't have a beard by choice, even the jaws of life can't cut it.

Your Life Choices Funny Jokes And Hilarious Puns.

What funny jokes about your life choices you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean life experience jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your life choices pranks.

A man looking for work

A man was looking for work. In fact, he was desperate. He heard the circus was in town and so he went and asked the ring master if there was a job for him. The ring master said, "We're lucky you showed up! Our tiger just died and he was a big part of the show. What we need you to do is put on this tiger costume and pretend to be a real tiger. Nobody will know the difference." So the man put on the tiger costume, and he had to admit, it was a very realistic costume. Soon the show started, and the time came for the tiger act. The man, eager to do a good job, lept out into the ring, snarling just like a real tiger. The crowd cheered. He did all the things the tiger was supposed to do: let the trainer stick his head in his mouth, balanced on a ball, and finally walked across a tightrope. The crowd loved it. But then a lion and a bear entered the ring. The ring master announced, "Now you will see these three ferocious beasts enter one cage together!" The man had no choice as he was herded into the cage with the lion and the bear. The two animals roared and snarled, and the man became afraid for his life. He began running around the cage, shouting, "Let me out! I'm not a real tiger! Help!" Then the lion grabbed him and said, "Shut up! Do you want us all to lose our jobs?"

What did the fat p**... say to the skinny p**...?

"We really should have made better life choices."

My local p**... is thinking about switching professions

She's been rethinking all of her whoreable life choices

This week President Obama became the first president to get a life-size 3D-printed portrait done.

It looked so real that Joe Biden argued with it for 20 minutes that Peeta is better than Gale.

Biden then realized his mistake, . . . and admitted Gale is the clear choice.

People often find themselves contemplating past life choices before they do something immensely s**....

Which has me worried because I'm constantly thinking about the choices I've made in life.

I've heard all the Pro life vs Pro choice debates, and after hearing the debates, i came up with a compromise.

I propose Pro Abortion, in which we abort everybody.

You have two choices in life: You can stay single and be miserable, or get married and wish you were dead.

My midlife crisis started today...

I met the greatest girl at work, and she was into me, too. When we got off of work I took her to the park, we got carryout and went back to my place, and we were having a blast watching Netflix together.
When it finally came time for her to go she just lay there on my bed, obviously wanting to stay the night. So we had the greatest s**... if my life and then she spent the night.
I drove her to work the next morning and when I saw the police outside waiting for me I realized that my career choices had been poor up until now. Maybe being a mortician isn't really for me.

Celibacy (searched but didn't find...)

What is Celibacy?
Celibacy can be a choice in life, or a condition imposed by circumstances.

While attending a Marriage Weekend, Frank and his wife Ann listened to the instructor declare, It is essential that husbands and wives know the things that are important to each other.
He then addressed the men.
Can you name and describe your wife's favorite flower?

Frank leaned over, touched Ann's arm gently, and whispered,
Gold Medal-All-Purpose, isn't it?

And thus began Frank's life of celibacy.