JokoJokes

Your Head Jokes

145 your head jokes and hilarious your head puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your head that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Your Head Short Jokes

Short your head jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your head humour may include short losing your head jokes also.

  1. At a recent rally, somebody threw a beer at Trump's head... He's fine. It was a draft, so he dodged it.
  2. Today I learned that if you're in a canoe and it flips over in the water.... .....you can safely wear it on your head....because it's capsized.
  3. A cop stops a miner for speeding on the highway COP: Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?
    miner: mine
  4. "Yoda, are you sure we are heading in the right direction?" Yoda replies: "off course we are"
  5. A doctor says "The good news is it's all in your head." "The bad news is it's brain cancer."
  6. The cop asked, "Whose car is this? Where are you headed? What do you do?" The miner replied, "Mine."
  7. I've lost a lot of weight just by wearing bread on my head. It's a new loaf hat diet I'm trying.
  8. A new strain of head lice has been discovered which is resistant to conventional treatments. That has left scientists scratching their heads.
  9. (from my 11 yo) What does Darth Vader say after cutting someone's head off with a lightsaber? "I find your lack of face disturbing."
  10. A policeman stops a car... Policeman: Whose car is this, where are you headed and what do you do for a living? Miner: Mine.

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Your Head One Liners

Which your head one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your head? I can suggest the ones about huge head and your teeth.

  1. "Yoda, are you sure we're headed in the right direction?" Aaaaaaa.....
  2. What happened to king Henry the VIII's wife's head? (removed)
  3. I like my girls like I like my Dumbledore Head Masters
  4. I treat women like I do numbers.... If they're under 16, do them in your head.
  5. Yo mama so fat... I pictured her in my head and broke my neck.
  6. What did the bra say to the hat? You go on a head, I'll give these two a lift
  7. I have 3 eyes, 6 heads and 15 limbs, what am I? A liar.
  8. I got hit on the head with a can of soda yesterday. Lucky it was a soft drink
  9. My friend threw a can of coke at my head today... Luckily it was a soft drink.
  10. Dating women is like squaring numbers If they're under 15, just do them in your head.
  11. "sometimes you just need a car ride to clear your head." - John. F. Kennedy
  12. If your boat turns upside down you can wear it on your head It's capsized.
  13. Dentist: When was the last time you flossed? Shaking my head. Dude, you were there!
  14. Who has two thumbs and is headed to the hospital? Not me. Christ that tablesaw was sharp.
  15. Why do cops have really clear skin? They're great at popping black heads.

Your Head Is So Big Jokes

Here is a list of funny your head is so big jokes and even better your head is so big puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A man walks into a library... And he asks "Excuse me, is The Big Book of Turtles in?"
    "Hard back?"
    "Yeah, with little heads"
  • I shot a bullet into the air and it hit my hand. On one hand I'm really happy that it didn't hit my head and kill me, but on the other hand I have a big gaping hole now.
  • What's big and hairy and sticks out of your pyjamas at night. Your head
  • A plant fell on my head... I'm alright though, it was no big dill.
  • Two big, strong, grey animals are talking to each other... Animal 1: Hey, you realize we have horns on the top of our heads right?
    Animal 2: Rhino
  • The one good thing about having a kid with Zika virus... even if he achieves major success in life, he'll never get a big head.
  • What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome? If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off.
  • What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy? astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.
  • A great big bird with a long neck strapped me into a chair and put a gun to my head. I guess you could say I was held ostrich.
  • Hey son, why do you have such a big head? Cuz I'm from Metrocity and you're not my dad.

Laugh Your Head Off Jokes

Here is a list of funny laugh your head off jokes and even better laugh your head off puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • When the doctors diagnosed me with leprosy... ...I laughed my head off.
  • What goes HAHAHAHATHUMP? A man laughing his head off!
    Sorry haha
  • What goes ha ha ha ha ha ha..kerplop Somebody laughing their head off
  • A drunk man walked into a bar. As a bystander, I couldn't help but laugh as I watched a bruise form on his head.
  • Two zombies were playing a game of poker The first one threw his hand in the pile and the other laughed his head off.
  • What goes ha, ha, ha, clunk? A man laughing his head off.
  • I love Toad from Super Mario you know, the little guy with the mushroom head. He always made me laugh.
    He's a real fungi.
  • What sound does someone make when they laugh their head off? Ha-ha-ha-*plop*
  • What goes hahaha -'bonk'? A man laughing his head off
  • 2 lepers playing poker... 1 throws his hand in, the other laughs his head off.

Losing Your Head Jokes

Here is a list of funny losing your head jokes and even better losing your head puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • my doctor said for every upvote this gets, i will lose one rib I only need 24 and then I can finally give myself head
  • How to lose weight - Doctor, I'm fat, how do I lose weight?
    - Just move your head from left to right and from right to left.
    - How many times , doctor ?
    - Every time someone offers you food.
  • Her: Wow, you know all the right moves in bed. How's about a second go but this time lose the hat Ratatouille's Remy hiding in my hair: Tell her your head is cold
  • You can lose weight by putting sliced bread on your head. It's a loaf-hat-diet.
  • My friend said he was worried he's losing his hair I told him not to worry, it's probably all in his head
  • Making jokes about ISIS is harder than it seems If you tell one in bad taste, everybody starts losing their heads.
  • Son asks "Dad, do you die if you lose your head?" Dad responds "That is a no-brainer"
  • Wife: I want to be treated like a queen Husband: Of course. Don't lose your head but have you heard of Anne Boleyn?
  • I asked my doctor how do I lose 35lb of ugly fat? He said cut your head off .
  • Why was Saint Valentine sad on the day commemorating him? Because he doesn't have no body to celebrate with.
    (It's just a joke, don't lose your head.)

Uproarious Your Head Jokes to Share with Friends

What funny jokes about your head you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean your beard jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your head pranks.

Small Head

A man with a very small head walks into a bar, and the bartender asks, "Why is your head so small?"
He replies, "I was stuck on this island and there was nothing but beautiful women there who had never seen a man before. So I had s**... with all of them. Their leader, who was the most beautiful of all, had the power to grant anybody one wish, so I asked her to have s**... with me. She said she would grant me anything but that, so I said, "Would a little head be out of the question?"

TIL that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.

Who the f**...'s going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?

Kid1: Hey Dad why am I called lily?

Dad: Because a lily petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid2: Hey Dad why am I called rose?
Dad: Because a rose petal fell on your head when you were a baby.
Kid3: herdurrrrahduhrgh#%*?
Dad: Shut up Cinderblock

Headaches

A man and his wife are getting into bed for the night. The man brings a glass of water and a bottle of aspirin to the bedroom and sets it down on his wife's nightstand. She asks him "What's that for?" to which the man replies "That's for your headache." "Headache? I don't have a headache..." The man responds "Well then, looks like we're having s**... tonight!"

Here is an actual sign posted in a golf club.

1. Back straight, knees bent.
2. Feet shoulder width apart.
3. Form a loose grip.
4. Keep your head down!
5. Stay out of the water.
6. Try not to hit anyone.
7. If you are taking too long, let others go ahead of you.
8. Don't stand directly in front of others.
9. Quiet please while others are preparing.
10. Don't take extra strokes.
Well done. Now, flush the u**... and go outside and tee off.

Gambler

A guy walks into a butcher's shop and says "Sir, are you a gambling man?"
The butcher says "Why yes, as a matter of fact I am."
"Then I'll bet you $25 you can't reach up and touch that meat hanging over your head right there."
The butcher thinks for a moment and says "I'm sorry, I won't take that bet."
The guy says "But I thought you said you were a gambling man."
"I am. But the steaks are too high."

I realized why girls like tall men

Because it makes it easier to crop your head out of photos when you break up.

Did you know that you can fit any boat on your head like a hat, if you flip it over?

That makes it cap sized

There was a mother who had three daughters...

...one day the first daughter walks up and asks,
"Mommy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then the second walks up and says,
"Mommy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away. Then third walks up and says,
"DURRUGFLARGLERDAAARGGGH!!!"
"It's ok Cinderblock. I still love you."

Heard this joke at school. Thought I might share it with y'all

There is a lady called Mary who has 3 children: Violet, Rose and Brick.
So Violet goes to her and asks: Mom, why am I called Violet?
And Mary responds: Because when you were born, a violet fell on your head
Then Rose comes and asks: Mom, why am I called Rose?
And Mary responds: Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Then Brick goes and asks: CjfbjabMandmabwlbdkabNbskdbslonvibcdhovtcbxtblvocbjfshkvgdvynv?

There was a lady with 3 sons, named Rain, Snow and Brick

Rain asked his mom, Why is my name 'Rain'?
Because a raindrop fell on your head when you were born.
Then Snow asked his mom, Why is my name 'Snow'?
Because a snowflake fell on your head when you were born.
Then Brick asked his mom, NYANYANYANYA

A woman is walking home with her three daughters.

The eldest daughter turns to her and asks, "Mummy, how did I get my name?"
"Well sweetie, when we were bringing you home from the hospital, a rose petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Rose".
The second daughter, now curious, asks the same question.
"Well darling, when we were bringing *you* home from the hospital, a *lily* petal landed on your head! So that's why we named you Lily."
The third girl asks "AAArrgghhrasfdg".
"Shhh, quiet now, Cinderblock".

Golf is like urinating in a public toilet

- Keep your back straight
- knees bent.
- Feet shoulder width apart.
- Form a loose Grip
- keep your head down
- avoid a quick backswing
- stay out of the water
- try not to hit anybody
- if you taking too long you should let others go ahead of you
- you shouldn't stand directly in front of others
- be quite when others are about to go
- keep strokes to a minimum

3 little girls walk up to their father

The first little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a rose petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you rose."
The second little girl asks, "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
and the dad says, "because when you were born, a lily petal fell on your head, so we decided to call you Lily."
The third little girl says, "hurdddurflbbbbb dur."
and the dad says, "shut up Cinderblock."

I hate it when you get a Cranberries song stuck in your head...

.. In your head
In your head.

In your head.

Girls are like squaring numbers...

If they're under 15 you do them in your head.

I was talking to a lovely young lady and things seemed to be going really well.

Then she said "There's something I want to get out of the way right now," and she reached up and took a wig off her head, and it turned out she was as bald as a new-laid egg.
"Alopecia," she said. "It's a condition that causes hair to fall out."
"Oh," I said. "...Just on your head, or from anywhere else as well?"
"Well," she dimpled, "there's only one way to find out."
"Of course!" I said, and took out my phone. "Hey, Google..."

I went to the doctor today...

He had me take off my clothes and put on a gown so he could complete a full physical. I was worried I would be receiving a prostate exam. Anyways, he walked back in and had me pull my gown up for the ole turn your head and cough check. When I did he took one look at me and said, "Very interesting....You have got to stop m**...." I asked why, he said, "Because I'm trying to examine you."

IF JFK taught me one thing...

The best way to clear your head is to take a ride in your car.

3 girls and thier mother were walking through a park...

Girl 1 turned to her mother and said...
Girl 1: Mommy, why is my name Lily?
Mom: Because when we took you out of the Hospital, a Lily petal fell on your head.
The second Daughter, now curious, asks the same question...
Girl 2: Why is my name Rose?
Mom: When we took you out of the Hospital, a rose petal landed onto your head
This is when the 3rd daughter pipes up and says...
Girl 3: AAAARRRGHFFFFJJJFSSSLLLHHH
Mom: Shhhhhhh, quiet down now Cinder Block

A mother has 3 kids

A mother has 3 kids.
The first kid goes up to her mom and says,
"Mommy, why I am I named petal?"
The mom responds, "Because when you were born, a petal fell on your head."
The second child goes up to her mom and says, "Why am I named Rose?"
The mom says, "Because when you were born, a rose fell on your head
Finally, the third child comes up and says, "My favorite color is potato."
"SHUT UP BRICK"

A little boy asks his mother; why is my name Feather?

When you where a little baby a feather dropped on your head. The next day her other son walks up to her and asks: 'Mom, Why is my name Leaf?' 'That is because when you where a little baby a leaf fell on your head.' The next morning her last son walks up to his mother and asks: 'aaiaiijhhh jaijahhhuuhhghhhhhh nnggh?' 'Shut up, Fridge.'

Tips to reduce weight…
First turn your head to the right and then to the left.

Repeat this exercise whenever your offered something to eat!

When your appendix is removed it's called an appendectomy.

When your u**... is removed it's called a hysterectomy. What's it called when you have a growth removed from your head? A haircut.

TIL: Due to the placebo effect, if you tilt your head back, close your eyes, and pretend as if you're shaking a salt-shaker into your mouth, your brain will cause you to actually taste salt

A man has three daughters...

One of them goes up to him one day and says, "Daddy, why was I named Rose?" The dad replies, "Because when you were born, a rose petal fell onto your head.
A second daughter asks him, "Daddy, why was I named Daisy?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were born, a daisy petal fell onto your head."
His last daughter says, "Guuuuaaaahuuugghhhhhppoakkk!" And the dad says, "Shut up, Cinderblock!"

A dog lays by the railroad tracks..

And falls asleep with his tail hanging over them a little. A train comes by eventually and cuts off the tip of his tail. The dog whips around to see what happened and the train cuts off his head, too.
Moral of the story? Don't lose your head over a little piece of tail.
This is my grandpa's favorite joke. He has Alzheimers and can't remember much, but this joke is on constant replay and you can see the old twinkle in his eye when he tells it.

A little girl asks her father how she got her name

"well honey a rose petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you rose."
his younger daughter runs up to him "and how did i get my name daddy?"
"well honey a lily petal landed on your head as we were carrying you out of the hospital, so we named you lily."
his son comes runnign up to him and yells "huuuuuuuuuuur flugerr dhuuuur"
"shut up cinder block"

A man goes to the doctor, he's visibly losing hair.

He says to the doctor, "I've spent months trying to grow my hair back, trying so many different treatments, but nothing has worked." The doctor says, "Well, it sounds a bit weird but, I suggest you rub the top of your head against your wife's private area once a night." The man does so, and a month later he walks into the doctor's office with a full head of hair. He notices that the doctor has grown a mustache and beard.

Three girls are in the back seat, their parents are in the front

Girl 1: Mom, why did you name me Violet?
Mother: Oh Violet, your grandmother dropped a violet on your head the day you were born.
Girl 2: Mom, why did you name me Daisy?
Mother: When we were walking out of the hospital the nurse put a daisy on your head.
Girl 3: Jwoandbwoqmsbonbf, whwhsbsowngk
Father: Shut up cinderblock

I told a man I was voting third party

He said, "That's wasting your vote! Come on, gun to your head, who would you pick, Clinton or Trump"
"Simple," I replied, "I'd pick the bullet."

Girls are like math problems...

If they are under 18, it's best you do them in your head.

A little girl asks her mother why her name is Feather

"You see, daughter - when you were born, a feather blew in through the window and landed on your head." she replies.
"Then why is my name Leaf?" Asked her little brother. "You see," replied his mother - "when you were born, a leaf blew in through the window and landed on your head."
In comes the youngest brother, and yells:
"BLARRRG BLARR BLARR!"
His mother calmly replies,
"Please be quiet, Refrigerator."

A cow is talking to her three calves

The first calf asks "Why is my name Daisy?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a daisy fell onto your head, sweetie."
The second calf asks "Why is my name Rose?"
The cow replies, "When you were born, a rose fell onto your head, dear."
The third calf says "Hargendflarfrebargen"
"Shut it, Cinderblock!"

A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick

A mother had three kids called Drop, Feather, and Brick.
Perplexed, the first kid asks his mother "Mom, why did you named me Drop?"
And she says: "Because when you were born, a little drop fell in your head..."
The second kid asks: "Mom, why did you named me Feather?"
She answers: "Because when you were born, a feather fell in your head..."
Finally, the third kid says: "GUhhhGaahh \*loud noises\* HUEHUE"


Sorry guys

You know you can fit any boat on your head

Just flip it upside down. That makes it capsized

What do you call a colour that you make up in your head?

A pigment of my imagination.

Ladies, here's a tip for giving a great h**....

Use your head.

Both Golf

"Honey, I have a confession to make," a guy told his bride. "I'm a golf nut. You'll never see me on weekends during golf season. "
"Well, dear," she murmured. "I have a confession to make too. I'm a h**.... "
"No big deal," replied the groom. "Just keep your head down and your left arm straight! "

A girl asks her father...

A girl asks her father, "Why was I called violet?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a violet landed on your head."
Another girl asks her father, "Why was I called Rose?" And the dad replies, "Because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head."
Another girl asks her dad, "Heyasdeasuadwxosj" And the dad replies, "Shut up fridge."

I've just been reading that, by law, you have to turn your headlights on when it's raining in Sweden.

And I'm thinking,
"Who the f**...'s going to let me know when it's raining in Sweden?"

What does a tornado and a wife have in common?

They both start with alot of s**... and blowing, then you end up without a roof over your head.

Maria had 3 children, snowflake, sand, and brick.

One day snowflake goes to her mom and asks her: Mom, why am I called snowflake? Then the mother replies: Because when you were born, a snowflake fell on your head. The next day goes Sand and asks: Mom, why am I called Sand? And the mother replies: Because when you were born, a small grain of sand fell on your head. The next day goes brick and asks: gyefagcxheufrhd

"Daddy, why is my name Rose?"

One day, a child came up to her father and said, "Daddy, why is my name Rose?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
Later on, her younger sister came up to their father and asked, "Daddy, why was I named Lily?"
He replied, "Well, when you were born, a lily fell on your head."
Later, their brother came up to their father and said, "Ghigdsgjjo Hitsggdjkl."
He replied, "Shutup, Brick!"

If you shrunk the solar system down so that the sun was at the top of your head and the orbit of Pluto was at your feet,

Uranus would be right about where you'd expect it to be.

Girls are like square roots...

If they're under 18 just do them in your head.

Mom takes her sick daughter to the doctor.

The doctor asks the girl, "How old are you?"
Girl: "I will be 7 in two days."
Doctor: "Aww, look how optimistic we are."
--------------------------------------------------------
Totally unrelated joke
Son: "Dad, can I cross the street when the red light for pedestrians is on?"
Dad: "Yes, but make sure your arms are up in the air over your head."
Son: "Why is that?"
Dad: "Because it will be easier to t**... shirt in the morgue".

A man's daughter walks up and asks

"Daddy, why am I named Rose?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a rose petal fell on your head."
She walks away. His second daughter walks up and says,
"Daddy, why am I named Daisy?"
"Well, when you were a baby, a daisy petal fell on your head."
She walks away.
Then the father's third daughter walks up and says:
"DDDDDDUUUUUURRRRRGGGGHHHHHHH!!!"
"Shut up, Cinderblock."

A Wife's Headache

A man walks into his bedroom, where is wife is reading. "Honey, I brought you some aspirin for your headache."
"I don't have a headache."
"Gotcha!"

Two p**... are driving in a car

The driver: Stick your head out the window and see if my directional is working. Is it on?"
The passenger:" Uh yep. nope. yep. nope. yep. nope"

If you like Pina Coladas...

... And getting songs stuck in your head.

A trip to the doctor...

Doctor: "You'll be thrilled to hear that you don't have cancer in your liver. It was all in your head!"
Me: "Oh great!"
Doctor: "No, brain cancer is way worse."

A person goes to doctor. He has pain in every part of his body

Doctor: when you touch your leg, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: when you touch your arm, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: when you touch your head, does it hurt?
Patient: yes
Doctor: i think your finger is broken!

The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"

"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."

A mother has two daughters and a son.

A mother has two daughters and a son. One day her first daughter comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I named Rose?", to which she replies: "That's because when you were a baby a rose landed on your head".
Her second daughter later comes up to her and says: "Mother, why am I called Petal?", to which she answers: "That's because when you were a baby a petal landed on your head".
Finally, her son approaches her and says: "BLUH NAH BUH BUH BLUH", and the mother says: "Shut up, Fridge".

A girl asks her father a question.

"Daddy, where did I get my name from?"
"Well, Daisy, when you were born, a daisy fell on your head."
Satisfied, she walks away.
His second daughter walks up to him and asks him the same question.
"Daddy, where did I get my name from?"
"Well, Rose, when you were born, a rose fell on your head."
Satisfied, she walks away.
"HMDJKGYGD".
"Oh, hi, Brick."

Don't be sad...

Don't be sad when a bird craps on your head. Be happy that dogs can't fly.

A father with three daughters

is sitting down for dinner when the first of his daughters asks, "dad why is my name Daisy?". The father replies, "because when you were born a daisy petal from the sky and landed on your head."
The second daughter asks, "dad why is my name Rose?" The father replies, "Well Rose, when you were a baby a rose petal fell from on high and landed on your head."
The third daughter asks, "bllaaarrarararraraaarg" and the father replies, "shut up, cinder-block"

Your eyes aren't real.

They're just in your head.

A pirate walks into a bar...

The bartender says, "Hey pirate, what's with the paper towel on your head?"
The pirate replies, "Arrr, I got a bounty on me head."

I went to this really cool restaurant where they gave out free bandanas with the meals

My girlfriend didn't like it though. She kept saying stuff like, "You're embarrassing me" and "Please take that napkin off your head."

A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"

Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"
The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."
The youngest daughter then approached.
"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"
"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.

Dad, why am I called rose?

Daughter 1: Dad, why am I called rose?
Dad: well when you were born a rose petal landed on your head, so we took it as a sign.
Daughter 2: so Dad, why am I called Lily?
Dad: for the same reason, when you were born a lily petal landed on your head.
Daughter 3: JAVDJDJ SKAOAOSBDBSIJS
Dad: be quiet, Fridge.

You shouldn't worry about headaches

I mean, it's all in your head.

Remember when teachers asked to lie quietly with your head on your desk?

My boss has yet to be impressed with this skill.

Marital Misunderstanding

It's 4.00am. A man comes stumbling home and bursts drunk into his bedroom. He's totally dishevelled, stinks of booze and has a goat tucked under his arm. His wife sits up with a shriek and shouts:
"How dare you come home in that condition! And what's that thing under your arm?"
Her husband looks at her and says:
"This is the pig I sleep with when you're having one of your headaches."
"You idiot. That's not a pig it's a goat!"
"Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to my goat."

Guy dies and goes to h**....

Satan meets him and tells him he's got to pick between 2 rooms. They go into the first room, and it's full of people standing on their heads on a marble floor. He takes him to the second room, and it's full of people sitting in an 18-inch deep layer of s**..., drinking coffee. Guy figures that he likes coffee, and he'll get used to the smell, so he chooses the second room. He gets a cup of coffee, sits down and takes a sip. At that moment, Satan sticks his head back in the room and calls out Ok, everybody. Coffee break's over. Back on your heads!

I love The Cranberries

but don't you hate it when one of their songs gets stuck in your head, in your heaad

A child asked his mom, "Mom how did I get my name?"

"Well Rose, when you were born a rose petal fell on your head, so we called you Rose"
Another child came up to her " Mom how did you get my name?"
"Well Daisy, when you were born, a daisy petal fell on you, so that's what we called you.
Child 3: "Mmmm Uuuuuuuuuu Mmmmmmmmm Eeeeeee Mahhhhh Mahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh"
Mom: "Shut up fridge"

A husband and wife are sitting on the couch watching TV.

The wife looks at the husband and he is staring at the ceiling above her head.
She looks up and asks "What are you staring at?"
A spider, he replies.
I don't see anything.
Oh, it must have fallen on your head, he says calmly.
The wife jumps up screaming.
The man says, While you're up, you mind getting me another beer?"

I own a boat but you can only fit your head in it

It's capsized

Still growing?

"Daddy, Daddy, are you still growing?"
"Why do you ask, son?"
"Because the top of your head is coming through your hair."

Dumping garbage

The Sheriff pulled up next to a guy unloading garbage out of his pick-up truck into a ditch. The Sheriff asks, "Why are you dumping garbage in the ditch? Don't you see that sign right over your head?"
"Yep," he replied. "That's why I'm dumpin' it here, 'cause it says: 'FINE FOR DUMPING GARBAGE.'"

How to lose weight easy

Fantastic exercise that really helps you to lose weight: Turn your head to the left. Good. Turn your head to the right. Very good. Repeat this exercise whenever you are offered any food.

jokes about your head