The Best 35 Your Girl Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Your Girl jokes. There are some your girl jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these your girl puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Your Girl Jokes and Puns

I saw a girl crying, so I asked her Where are your parents? and she started crying even more.

Man, I love working at the orphanage.

Professor X asks a girl, "what is your mutant power?"

Girl replies: "I can guess how many pulls to turn a ceiling fan off on the first try!"

She points up and says: "3 pulls"

Professor X stands up and pulls 3 times. After the third pull the fan turns off.

Professor X: "Yeah thats cool and all, but not really a super power..."

Girl: "Yeah I was jut kidding, I can heal paraplegics"

Professor X, still standing: "Oh my god"

Call a girl beautiful 1,000 times and she won't think twice...

Call a girl fat once and she'll always remember.

Because elephants never forget

A little girl runs up to her mother and says "mummy, daddy hanged himself in the basement!"

Upon hearing the news the mother breaks down in tears and, shakily, makes her way into the basement.

When they get there, the woman cannot see the father's corpse.
The little girl then exclaims "April fools! Daddy did it in the garage"

When a girl changes her clothes in front of you, she's either really interested or you're level 99 friend-zoned

Or she hasn't spotted you in the tree yet


Girls who talks about girls' problems are great.

But girls who talk about environmental problems are Greta.

I called two girls hipsters and got slapped.

Apparently the correct term is "conjoined twins".

If a girl says she will be ready in 5 minutes she will.

No need to remind her every 15 minutes about it

Funny that when a guy sleeps with tons of girls, he's a stud..

But when a girl sleeps with tons of guys, somehow I'm not one of them.

Girl: "Come over"

Guy: "I'm coming over"

Girl: "We should stop using walkie talkies in bed, over."

A naked man arrives at a costume party with a girl on his back.

"I'm a turtle", he says.

"Oh... who's on your back?"

"That's Michelle", he replies.

You can explore your girl reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean your girl dad jokes. There are also your girl puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


A little girl asks her father: "Daddy, what is corruption?"

-- Go bring me a beer and I'll tell you.

-- But mommy said you should stop drinking!

-- Get yourself an ice-cream too while you bring me that beer.

-- Oh, okay!

I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday.


That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1

A father in Iraq gifted his daughter a new bag. The girl replied,

"Thanks for the Baghdad"

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?

He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!

When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?

Very good, she replies.

And what happened to my present?

Which present? she asks.

The one I asked for - an Italian girl!

Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.

My mother used to tuck me in every night

She always wanted a girl :(

Girl: Come over

Guy: I'm coming over

Girl: We should stop using Walkie-Talkies in bed over

Why are circumsized penises so popular among Jewish girls?

They love anything that's 15% off

Just a joke lol

If i had $1 for every girl that didn't find me attractive..

.. they would eventually find me attractive


My wife just completed a 40 week body building program this morning

It's a girl and weighs 7lbs 12 oz

My wife said she wanted just one child of each gender

I told her "how about just one boy and one girl? I don't want to contribute to overpopulation."

Slutty girls are like Wal-Marts

Everyone makes fun of them but when you're inside one at 4am, you think "Thank God these are here"

I told my son, You will marry the girl I choose.


He said, NO!

I told him, She is Bill Gates' daughter.

He said, OK.

I called Bill Gates and said, I want your daughter to marry my son.

Bill Gates said, NO.

I told Bill Gates, My son is the CEO of World Bank.

Bill Gates said, OK.

I called the President of World Bank and asked him to make my son the CEO.

He said, NO.

I told him, My son is Bill Gates' son-in-law.

He said, OK.

This is how politics works.

A mormon was having an affair with a 15 year old girl who had lied about her age, when he learned the truth he broke it off and over the next few week guilt set in and he confessed to his wife. She screamed at him,

"How could you cheat on me like that with an older woman!?!?!?".

One day after sex, my girl told me she used to be a Christian.

Me: "It doesn't worry me at all, babe."

Her: "Awesome! I really so much prefer being a Christine."

A woman has to go to Italy for a conference, so her husband drives her to the airport.

Thank you honey, she says, Is there anything I can bring back for you?
He laughs, and says, An Italian girl!
When the conference is over, he meets her up at the airport and asks, How was the trip?
Very good, she replies.
And what happened to my present?
Which present? she asks.
The one I asked for - an Italian girl!
Oh, that. I did what I could. We'll just have to wait 9 months to see if it's a girl.

You can tell the gender of an ant by dropping it in water. If it sinks it's girl ant,

If it floats it's boy ant.

I slept with a girl who works at Netflix last night

It was pretty cool, she even recommended some girls I might like to sleep with next

My dad first talked to me about sex when I was going to college.


He said, "Son, in college you're going to be surrounded by beautiful girls, so I got you something from the chemist."

"Dad," I said, "I have condoms."

And he said, "You won't need condoms, I got you some anti-depressants."

After kissing a girl on her sofa she said let's take this upstairs

Ok I said You grab one end and I'll grab the other

I met a girl at a club the other night & she told me she'd show me a good time.

When we got outside, she ran a 40 yard dash in 4.8 seconds.

Hey girl, are you a broken compass?

Because I'm not really sure where I'm going with this

My girl keeps having disturbed dreams, shouting things like "Hobbit!", "Gandalf!", and "Mordor!".

Always Tolkien in her sleep...

Jane and Erica are talking in heaven

"How did you die?" Jane asks Erica.
She replies, "I froze to death."
"Oh, that's terrible!" says Jane.
"It wasn't too bad, after a while you start to get a sort of peaceful feeling, just before you black out. How did you die?"
"Well," she says, "I suspected my husband was cheating so one day I came home early to catch him, but he was just watching TV. So I turned the entire house upside-down looking for another girl, and in the end I got a massive heart attack from exhaustion."
"Too bad you didnt look in the freezer," said Erica, "Or we might both still be alive."

Boy goes to confession and tells the priest he has been with a girl of loose morals.

"That's a grievous sin," the priest says. "Tell me: Was it Mary O'Hara?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Kate Dannaher?"

"No, Father."

"Was it Kathleen McGonigle?"

"No, Father. I don't want to say who it was."

Later, as the boy leaves the church, he sees a friend, who asks him, "How'd it go?"

He answers, "Well, I got ten Hail Marys, five Our Fathers... and three great leads."

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the your girl jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working your girl piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes