Your Ears Are So Big Jokes
39 your ears are so big jokes and hilarious your ears are so big puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your ears are so big that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Your Ears Are So Big Short Jokes
Short your ears are so big jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your ears are so big humour may include short your head is so big jokes also.
- Mom ! Mom ! The mean kids keep saying I have big ears ! "Oh really ? I'll talk to them. Where are they ?"
"In the next town over !" - The man with the big feet lives in the red house, the man with the big ears in the green house, the man with the long hair in blue house, where does the man with the small wein live? My house
- your mamas head is so big it will take 500 years for it to go into one ear and out the other
- Humans need 7 filters. 2 for the eyes, 2 for the ears, 2 for the nostrils and a big 1 for the mouth.
- What has big ears, brings Easter treats, and goes hippity-THUD, hippity-THUD, hippity-THUD? The Easter Elephant.
- What's Pink, has a big appetite, and squeaks kirby. You were expecting a pig, but I didn't mention a snout , ears, or a curly pink tail.
- 2 VD germs 2 VD germs crossing the road and a big lorry hurtles towards them. One says to the other 'Looks like we're a goner ear.:
- What do you call someone with three eyes, one ear, and a big nose...? Ugly. \(I know from personal experience :P\)
Share These Your Ears Are So Big Jokes With Friends
Your Ears Are So Big One Liners
Which your ears are so big one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your ears are so big? I can suggest the ones about big ears and your nose so big.
- What's gray, has big ears, and a trunk? A mouse on vacation.
- What do you call people with big ears? Nothing, they might hear you
- Why Do Elephants Have Big Ears? Because Noddy won't pay the ransom!
- Why does the Elephant have Big Ears? Because Noddy refuses to pay the ransom money.
- Why does Spock have big ears? Because Noddy wouldn't pay the ransom.
Howlingly Hilarious Your Ears Are So Big Jokes for All Ages to Enjoy
What funny jokes about your ears are so big you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean head is so big jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make your ears are so big pranks.
Speaking of a big fat b**...!
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet.
"My cat is very fat, she says.
"Alright," says the vet. "I will look at him."
The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears.
Finally, she turns to the girl and says, I'm very sorry. I'm going to have to put your cat down."
"Oh no! Because he's so fat?"
"Yes, says the doctor. My arms are very tired."
A man goes to the doctors and says " Doc, I'm having problems with my ears, I think I'm going deaf".
The Doc says " Can you tell me the symptoms?"
The man replies, " Well, Homer's the big fat bloke, and Marge has blue hair!"
My cat is very fat
A girl takes her big fat cat to the vet. "My cat is very fat, she says. "Alright," says the vet. "I will look at him." The vet picks up the cat and examines its teeth. Then she looks at its eyes. Then into its ears. Finally, she turns to the girl and says, I'm very sorry. I'm going to have to put your cat down." "Oh no! Because he's so fat?" "Yes, says the doctor. My arms are very tired."
So my friend had some issue with his hearing....
My friend was having some issues with his hearing, so he booked a doctor's appointment. The doctor checked him over and had a look in his ears. The doctor said "okay. So, describe the symptoms". My friend said "well, there's homer. He's the dad. And there's Marge, she's got big blue hair..."
Granny goes to the doctor.
She tells the doctor:
Look I have a big problem.
I have so SO much gas, thankfully it is not loud or smelly, but I need something about it.
Doctor said: Ok ask the pharmacist for this medication, take 1 pill each morning and come back in a week.
So the granny goes in a week later and says: What is going on, everything is all the same but now the gases are extremely smelly, what did you do?
So the doctor take a camera device and checks her nostrils inside and says: Ok now that the nostrils are no longer blocked, let's see about the ears.
A 22-year-old man and a 57-year-old woman get to know each other in a bar
Even tho the big age gap, they like each other. Later the night, she whispers into his ear "Do you want to have s**... with a mother and a daughter at the same time?" Of course he agreed and when they walked home, he felt like the most luckiest person on earth. When they arrived at her place she opened the door and shouted: "Are you still awake, mom?"
At a cocktail party...
an obstetrician's wife noticed that another guest, a big, oversexed blonde in a slinky red dress, was making overtures at her husband. As it was a large, informal gathering, she tried to laugh it off, until she saw the woman begin whispering into her husband's ear while her hand caressed his back.
At once she confronted the blonde b**... and screamed, "Look, lady! My husband just delivers babies, he doesn't INSTALL them!"
Two cowboys were riding their horses through the plains when they saw an Indian lying on his stomach with his ear to the ground.
See that Indian? One of the Cowboys said. "He can hear everything that's going on for miles around."
They rode up to him, and the Indian said, "white pickup. Four people in the front, six in the back. Big party."
"Wow" the other cowboy said. "You can tell all that from just listening to the ground?"
"Nah, I fell off the back."
Talking clock
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den. "What is the big brass gong and hammer for?" one of his friends asked. "That is the talking clock," the man replied. "How's it work?"
"Watch," the man said and proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer. Suddenly, someone screamed from the other side of the wall, "Knock it off, you idiot! It's two o'clock in the morning!"
In the beginning of time
Adam was taking a n**... stroll through the Garden of Edan, naming the animals. He found a large creature with a long nose and big ears. He said "I think I'll call you Elephant." The elephant replied "How do you breathe through that thing?!"
A big fat Texan goes to a ranch to pick out some cattle.
The owner lines them up and the buyer walks down the line until he sees one he likes.
He pulls out two pieces of bread and stuffs them in the cow's ears.
"Hey! .. What are you doing?" asks the owner. "Stop that!"
The Texan replies, "I can make my sandwich any d**... way I want!"
Hard of Hearing
I went to the Doctors yesterday as my ears were a bit blocked and I couldn't hear too well.
The Doctor asked if I could describe the symptoms, I told him the Father is called Homer and is fat and his wife is called Marge with big blue hair.
1980s European leaders Mitterrand, Brezhnev and Thatcher were flying around Europe in a helicopter, trying to recognize cities without seeing them.
Thatcher went first. She stuck her ear out the window and stated: "I can hear Big Ben chime. This is London!"
Next was Mitterrand. He stuck his nose out and stated: "I can smell fresh baguette. This is Paris!"
Last was Brezhnev. He stuck his hand out and yelped: "What... hey! Somebody stole my watch! This is Moscow."
A Canadian in New York
A Canadian is drinking in a New York bar when he gets a call on his cell phone. He hangs up, grinning from ear to ear and orders a round of drinks for everybody in the bar because, he announces, his wife has just produced a typical Canadian baby boy weighing 25 pounds.
Nobody can believe that any new baby can weigh in at 25 pounds, but the Canuck just shrugs, "That's about average up North, folks... like I said, my boy's a typical Canadian baby boy."
Congratulations showered him from all around, and many exclamations of "WOW" were heard.
Two weeks later the Canadian returns to the bar.
The bartender says, "Say, you're the father of that typical Canadian baby that weighed 25 pounds at birth, aren't you? Everybody's been making bets about how big he'd be in two weeks. We were gonna call you. So how much does he weigh now?"
The proud father answers, "Seventeen pounds."
The bartender is puzzled and concerned. "What happened? He already weighed 25 pounds the day he was born."
The Canadian father takes a slow swig from his Molson beer, wipes his lips on his shirt sleeve, leans into the bartender and proudly says,
"Had him circumcised".
Little Red Riding Hood went to her grandma's house and found her laying in bed.
Little Red Riding Hood said, "Grandma, what big eyes you have!"
Grandma: "The better to see you with, my dear."
Little Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what big ears you have!"
Grandma: "The better to hear you with, my dear."
Little Red Riding Hood: "Grandma, what a big mouth you have!"
Grandma: "Of course I do, have you seen Grandpa's d**k?!"
Slow learner
A man goes to work one Monday morning and notices on of his coworkers has two big bandages on both of his ears.
"What happened to your ears?" he asks.
"Well, its a long story." he replies, "You see, my wife and I are planning a trip with my sister in law, and we were expecting a phone call from her on Sunday. I was watching the football game and my wife was ironing some laundry behind me. The phone rang, so I reached back to answer it, but when I put the phone to my ear I realized I had grabbed the iron by mistake!"
"Well that explains one ear, but what happened to the other?"
"Well, wouldn't you know it, she called back."
A man tells his colleague about his day at the zoo.
Colleague: What animals did you see there?
Man: You know, the one with the pocket that can jump really far.
Colleague: A kangaroo?
Man: That's right, a dangerou.
Colleague: Okay... what else did you see?
Man: You know the fluffy one with the big ears?
Colleague: A bunny?
Man: No, it was a dangerou.
Colleague: Okay... Uh, anything else?
Man: Oh yes, the big grey one with the trunk?
Colleague: An elephant?
Man: No, a dangerou.
Colleague: All the animals can't have been "dangerous"?
Man: No, it said on a sign "All animals are dangerous".
For the sick
Little Bob went with his mom to church every Sunday. One morning in the middle of the service Bob complained that he was feeling a bit queasy and was afraid he was going to p**.... No problem dear, whispered his Mom in his ear, just head on over to the bathroom on the other side of the Church, and take care of it there. Thirty seconds later Bob came back. Did you go to the bathroom? question his Mom. No need responded Bob. Right outside the door was a big box with a sign next to it 'for the sick', so I just did it in there!
A woman entered her daughter's room and found a letter
Dear mom
I hate to tell you this, but I escaped with my new boyfriend. He's sweet guy although people judge him because the rings on his ears and nose, and his many tattoos and his big bike.
I'm also pregnant. He tells me that we'll live happy in the forest and have many kids.
He also tells me that w**... is fine, and we'll grow it for our friends who will give us c**....
Don't worry, mom. We pray to god that scientist will find a cure for aids, because my darling deserves it.
I'm 15 now, mom, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I'll visit you and introduce you to your grandchildren.
Love you. Daughter .
.
.
.
P.S.
Mom, I'm joking. I'm at our neighbor's house. By the way, the test grades report is on my table .
The Captains Wife
The crew of a US navy battle ship was back home after many months of being out to sea. To celebrate, the captain of the ship organized a formal ball and the entire crew was there in thier unforms. The big band was playing and the sailors were hitting the bar and drinking hard as they admired the Captains beautiful wife sitting at the head table with the captain himself.
One of the drunken sailors spoke up, "Im gonna ask the capins wife ta dance wit me!" The other sailors just laughed at him as he swaggered on down to the captains table. Sailor says, "Hey Capin, may I dansh wit your wife?" The captain, having been drinking himself, nodded the OK.
Stunned, the other sailors watched as their lowly shipmate and the captains wife engaged in a slow dance. The sailor having been out to sea for several months was very happy to be dancing with this beautiful woman.
After a few minutes of dancing the captains wife speaks up and says, "My, but you smell very nice. What do you have on?" The sailor speaks into her ear and says, " I have a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it."
Pearly Gates
A guy is at the pearly gates, waiting to be admitted, while St. Peter is leafing through this Big Book to see if the guy is worthy of entering. Saint Peter goes through the book several times, furrows his brow, and says to the guy, "You know, I can't see that you did anything really good in your life but, you never did anything bad either. Tell you what, if you can tell me of one REALLY good deed that you did in your life, you're in."
The guy thinks for a moment and says, "Yeah, there was this one time when I was driving down the highway and I saw a giant group of k**... Biker Gang Rapists assaulting this poor girl. I slowed down my car to see what was going on, and sure enough, there they were, about 50 of them torturing this girl. Infuriated, I got out
of my car, grabbed a tire iron out of my trunk, and walked straight up to the leader of the gang, a huge guy with a studded leather jacket and a chain running from his nose to his ear. As I walked up to the leader, the k**... Biker Gang Rapists formed a circle around me. So, I ripped the leader's chain off his face and smashed him over the head with the tire iron. Then I turned around and yelled to the rest of them, 'Leave this poor, innocent girl alone! You're all a bunch of sick, deranged animals! Go home before I teach you all a lesson in pain!'"
St. Peter, impressed, says "Really? When did this happen?"
"Oh, about two minutes ago."
