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Your Daddy Jokes

74 your daddy jokes and hilarious your daddy puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about your daddy that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Your Daddy Short Jokes

Short your daddy jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The your daddy humour may include short your papa jokes also.

  1. When a kid says When a kid says " Daddy, I want mommy", that's the kid version of "I'd like to speak to your supervisor."
  2. "Daddy," a little girl asked her father, "do all fairy tales begin with 'Once upon a time'? " "No, sweetheart," he answered. "Some begin with 'If I am elected.'"
  3. I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone "Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"
    "No" she sobbed
    I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage
  4. A little girl says to her mommy, instead of buying me clothes for my birthday can you send them to all of the little girls that haven't got any, you know the ones. The ones on daddy's computer.
  5. The teacher asked Jimmy, "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?" Jimmy replied crying, "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that p*ssy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"
  6. My son asked me, "Daddy, why do bees stay in the hive in the winter?" I smiled and answered... "Swarm."
  7. Little Boy: Daddy I want to be like president Trump when i grow up! Dad: "Well pick one son, you can't do both"
  8. My daughter always said she wanted to see her name up in lights... You should've seen the smile on her face when she turned to look at me and say:
    "Daddy, what's an 'Amber Alert'?"
  9. A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "sugar daddy". He's an artificial sweetner.
  10. Why are Catholic priests always referred to as "father"? Because "daddy" would make it too obvious...

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Your Daddy One Liners

Which your daddy one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with your daddy? I can suggest the ones about yo daddy and daddy.

  1. Why are catholic priests called father? Because "daddy" would be too suspicious
  2. Are these gay cows, daddy? No, they're bison.
  3. Daddy, what are cloud made of? Linux servers, mostly.
  4. "Daddy, how do stars die?" "Drugs, normally."
  5. What is the gender-neutral term for "sugar daddy?" Glucose guardian.
  6. Why are catholic priests adressed as "father"? "Daddy" would be too obvious.
  7. "Daddy, am I adopted?" Not yet.
  8. Why was the Egyptian kid confused? Because his daddy was a mummy
  9. "Daddy, why don't you kiss me the way you kiss mommy?" "Because I love mommy."
  10. Mummy, Mummy, I hate daddy's guts Then push them to the side of your plate!
  11. Why do priests have you call them Father.. Because 'Daddy' was too obvious
  12. Daddy, there's a man at the door with a beard! Tell him I already have one.
  13. "Daddy, I don't want to see grandma!" "Shut up and keep digging!"
  14. Who's your daddy? A roleplay exercise in Alabama, a serious question in Detroit.
  15. "Daddy, why is that book so big?" "It's a long story..." :D

Your Daddy So Fat Jokes

Here is a list of funny your daddy so fat jokes and even better your daddy so fat puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Your mama is so fat….. Your daddy proposed to her with an onion ring.
  • Daddy, why are you so fat? Well, honey, being smart, handsome, rich, talented, AND thin just wouldn't be fair, now would it?
  • Yo mama so fat, when she stands next to yo daddy they still in a long-distance relationship.
  • Yo mamma so fat... ...is the real reason yo daddy left.
    Happy Father's Day!
  • My son walked up to me and said "daddy your so fat" "Thanos had to snap twice"
  • Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy is still climbing back off.
  • Yo' Mama is so fat, yo' daddy needs a Sherpa to help get him on top.
  • Your daddy's so fat... He puts the "art" in f**...!
  • Your daddy's so fat that when he went to prison... ...it took 4 inmates just to r**... him.

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about your daddy can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of your daddy puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Your Daddy Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about your daddy you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean old dad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make your daddy prank.

Mummy, how was I born?

A 10-year-old girl asks her mum, Mummy, how was I born**?**
The mother smiled and replied:
Once upon a time, your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful little seed. Daddy put it in the earth & I took care of it every single day.
After a while, the seed started to grow more and more leaves and in a few months, it turned into a beautiful healthy plant.
So we took the plant, dried it, rolled it up, smoked it, and got so high that we forgot to wear a c**....

A little boy caught his mom riding his dad.

The little boy said, Mom what are you doing?
She said, Son, your daddy's stomach is too big so I sit on top to flatten it out.
He said, Aw momma you're wasting your time because when you're not here the lady next door gets on her knees and blows it back up!

A little boy goes up to his pregnant mum, points at her fat belly and says, what's that?

She says… (a bit startled…) erm… that's a baby your daddy gave me that…
So the little boy walks off to find his dad with a confused look on his face…
daddy did you give mummy a baby ?
yeh I did son, that's right why do you ask…?
well don't give her another, she ate the last one!

Don't know if this has been posted here but let's try

Little Johnny came home and ran to his mother.
"Mummy! I was on the bus with Daddy and he made me stand up so a woman could sit down."
"Well...How kind of your daddy! You should learn from him."
Johnny then frowned.
"I was sitting on Daddy's lap"

Little Johnny and his ball.

Little Johnny runs up to his mother and says, "mommy mommy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, daddy came in with the lady next door and they started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off daddy's clothes and daddy took off the clothes from the lady next door, and they both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of daddy and started...". The mother cuts him off and says "just stop right there. You wait until your daddy comes home so you can tell him everything you just told me." Couple hours later the father arrives and walks through the door to find his wife and child with bags packed. She walks up to him and slaps across the face shouting "I'm leaving you... Go ahead Johnny, tell him what you told me earlier." Johnny steps forward to tell his daddy. "Daddy, the other day I was playing with my ball upstairs and my ball got away and into your closet, and when I went to get it, you came in with the lady next door and you both started hugging and kissing and the lady next door took off your clothes and you took off the clothes from the lady next door, and you both got into your bed, and the lady next door got on top of you and started doing the same thing mom did with uncle joe last summer."

A little boy walks in on his parents having s**....

"Mommy, why are you on top of Daddy?" he says. The mom thinks fast and says "Well, your daddy has a big belly, so sometimes I get on top of him and try to flatten it out." The boy says "well that will never work." "Why?" says the mom. "Because when you go out shopping on Saturdays, the lady next door comes over and blows it right back up again."

Instead of "Who's your daddy?" I accidentally said "How's your daddy?"

And we put our clothes back on and discussed her father's cholesterol.

Two small boys meet on the first day of school

"My name is Billy. What's yours?" asked the first boy. "Tommy," replied the second. "My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?" asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer." "Honest?" asked Billy. "No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy.

A man an a boy walk into a barbershop

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together. After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair. "I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade" he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes". When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you". "That wasn't my daddy" said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

A little girl asks her mum

A little girl asks her mum "mummy, how was I born" Her mother smiled and replied "once upon a time your daddy and I decided to plant a wonderful tiny seed. Your daddy planted it in the earth and I took care of it every single day. After a while the seed germinated and grew tall with many leaves until it became a lovely healthy plant. Then we dried it and smoked it and got so high we forgot to use a c**..."

My wife is an English teacher

She always corrects my grammar while having s**.... I'll go "s**... it good" and she'll reply "it's s**... it well!". I'll say "Who's your daddy" and she'll correct "who's your dad".
She gets particularly annoyed about my improper use of colon.

Who's your daddy?

A father's daughter brought home her prospective fiancee
It was the first time he'd met him and he took the opportunity to quiz him a bit
"So, what do you do for a living?" he asked
"I have no job" he replied
"Really? Well how do you expect to provide for my daughter?"
"God will provide, I'm sure" was the answer from the intended
"And how exactly will he do that then?"
"God is merciful and will ensure we do not want" he said with all sincerity
"And how about if you have kids? Who looks after you then?"
"God will ensure he provides bounty for the whole family"
"OK, so you say, but exactly how will God provide this?"
"I don't know yet. God will move in his own mysterious ways"
At this point, the father gives up and leaves the house fuming, heading straight for the bar. there he meets his friend Dave who asks,
"What's up friend? You seem troubled"
"Well, I've just met my girl's new fiancé"
"Oh man, bad news?"
"Well, on the plus side, he does at least seem to think I'm God..."

A man and a little boy entered a barbershop together

After the man received the full treatment - shave, shampoo, manicure, haircut, etc. - he placed the boy in the chair.
"I'm going to buy a green tie to wear for the parade," he said. "I'll be back in a few minutes."
When the boy's haircut was completed and the man still hadn't returned, the barber said, "Looks like your daddy's forgotten all about you."
"That wasn't my daddy," said the boy. "He just walked up, took me by the hand and said, 'Come on, son, we're gonna get a free haircut!'"

A 4th grade '49ers fan in Dallas

The scene is a 4th grade classroom in Dallas, Texas. The teacher asks for a show of hands:
"Hey kids, how many of you are Dallas Cowboys fans?"
Everyone in the class raises their hand, except for little Suzy. The teacher says:
"Little Suzy, I notice you didn't raise your hand. Why is that?" Little Suzy responds:
"Because I'm a 49ers fan!"
"A 49ers fan?," the teacher asks incredulously, "Why on Earth are you a 49ers fan?"
"Because my Mommy is a 49ers fan, my Daddy is a 49ers fan, so I'm a 49ers fan."
The teacher doesn't like Suzy's answer:
"Little Suzy, that's no kind of logic. What if your Daddy was a drug dealer and your Mommy was a p**...?"
Suzy doesn't blink an eye:
"Well then I'd be a Raiders fan!"

Two young girls were talking

Girl 1: What does your daddy do for a living?
Girl 2: He's a lawyer. What about your daddy?
Girl 1: My daddy's dead
Girl 2: What did he do before he died?
Girl 1: He sort of clutched at his chest and fell over
From Garrison Keillor's "pretty good joke book"

My wife just found out that she was adopted and was devastated..

She kept saying why didn't they want me?!
I took her in my arms and comforted her.
After a while, still crying, we kissed, and she asked me to make love to her.
In hindsight, taking her from behind shouting, "WHO'S YOUR DADDY?!" halfway through wasn't the best idea...

A 5 y.o. kid saw his mom and dad having s**....

Kid: Mommy, what are you doing bouncing up and down on top of daddy?
Mommy: Oh, I was just trying to deflate your daddy's tummy!
Kid: Was it because my baby sitter inflated it yesterday?

Child walks in on parents in c**...

Mummy and Daddy are having s**... and their beautiful child walks in. Flustered, Mummy leaps off the bed (and off her husband) and wittingly tries to console what she thinks is her scarred son.

son: mummy, what's going on?
mum: oh son! I was just helping your daddy to flatten his belly
son: but why mummy? there's no point. the nanny just comes and blows it back up again.

Your daddy is so s**.....

that he played Russian roulette with a Glock p**...

If we're dating and you call me bae, boo or daddy...

I'm walking out on you like, well, your daddy.

Two small boys, not yet old enough to be in school, were overheard talking at the zoo one day.

"My name is Billy. What's yours?"
asked the first boy.
"Tommy," replied the second.
"My Daddy's an accountant. What does your Daddy do for a living?"
asked Billy. Tommy replied, "My Daddy's a lawyer."
"Honest?"
asked Billy.
"No, just the regular kind", replied Tommy

A boy is told by a classmate that every adult has at least one big secret

A boy is told by a classmate that every adult has at least one big secret and that it is easy to blackmail them by saying: I know the whole truth.

When the boy comes home he decides to test this, so he goes to his mother and says: I know the whole truth.
The mother gives him $20 and says: Take this and go just don't tell your father anything.

Next, the boy goes to his father and says: I know the whole truth.
The father gives his son $40 and says: Take this and go just don't tell your mother anything.

The next day on the way to school the boy sees the mailman and says to him: I know the whole truth.
The mailman responds: Then come give your daddy a big hug!

Yo momma so ugly...

The only reason your daddy eats chicken is cause it has less hair and bigger breast than yo momma.

I'm a people person...

Your daddy is so bald when he wears a turtleneck he looks like a busted c**...

Who's your daddy ?

"Daddy pass me the salt please" said the girl innocently.
The scene became tensed when the boyfriend and her dad both reached for the salt.

Two r**... are having s**...

-"Who's your daddy!! Who's your daddy!!"
-"You are."

Make like your daddy or your baby daddy raising his hand ..

and shut yo mowf

Your family is so poor...

That your daddy is the D.J. for the ice cream truck.

Roses are red, Violets are blue

WHO IS YOUR DADDY AND WHAT DOES HE DO?!?!

I could have been your daddy...

I could have been your daddy, but the line was too long.

And... a new joke is born

"Your momma is so frigid that your daddy would get his tongue stuck every time he would try to go down on her. "
I tried searching for this joke but couldn't find it... Did I just invent a new Your momma joke?

Two kids were talking together.
First: "My daddy is so tall that he can touch the clouds in the sky with his hands."
Second: "That is excellent. Does your daddy touch something soft and downy?"
First: "Yes, of course."
Second: "Those are my daddy's t**...."

Who's your Daddy?

-random Indians in a fight

Chuck Norris doesn't ask, "who's your daddy?"
Chuck Norris is your daddy.

A black kid pulls the flour over his head.

A black kid walks into the kitchen where his mother is baking and accidentally pulls the flour over onto his head. He turns to his mother and says, "Look Mama, I'm a white boy!" His mother smacks him and says, "Go to your Daddy and say wbat you just said!" The boy finds his father and says, "Look Daddy, I'm a white boy!" His Daddy bends him over, spanks him, stands the boy back up, and says, "Now what do you have to say about yourself?" The boy replies, "I've only been a white boy for five minutes and I already hate you black people!"

A mother comes down to the kitchen and finds her daughter up early, eating a bowl of cereal...

The daughter asks- Mommy, I heard some strange sounds coming from your bedroom a little while ago. What were you and Daddy doing in there?
The mother is instantly embarrassed.
Um... your daddy and I were making a cake, sweetheart.
The next morning the mom comes down and the little girl asks- Mommy, were you and Daddy in there making another cake just now?
The mother says- Why yes, honey. Were we making too much noise again?
The little girl says- Not this time. I just noticed you have a little frosting on your chin.

Little Mary goes up to her mom and says "Daddy said to tell you he needs to use your typewriter to write a letter...."

Mom smiles because she knows this is their secret code for s**.... Unfortunately since she was on her period, she told little Mary: "Tell your daddy he can't use it because it only has red ink right now"
The next day, mom says: "Go tell daddy he can use my typewriter now". Little Mary runs off, and returns a minute later and tells her mom: "Daddy said it's too late because he already did the letter by hand"

You can't choose who your father is

But you can choose who's your daddy

"Look Momma, I'm a white boy."

A young black boy goes into the kitchen where his mother is baking. He puts his hands in the flour and coats his face with it. He looks at his mother and says "Look Momma, I'm a white boy." His mother slaps him hard on the face and says "Boy, go show your Daddy." The boy goes into the living room and says "Look Daddy, I'm a white boy." His Daddy slaps him on the face, too and says, "Boy, go show your grandmother." So the boy goes to see his grandma and says "Look Granny, I'm a white boy." She slaps him on the face and sends him back to his mother. His mother says "Well, did you learn something from all this?" The boy shakes his head and says "I sure did, I've only been white for five minutes and I already hate you people".

"Most adults are hiding at least one dark secret!!!"

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

Was your Daddy an enzyme?

Because you're certainly a fuckfase.

A fellow stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down.

A fellow stops by to visit his friend who is paralyzed from the waist down. They talk for a while and then the friend asks, "My feet are cold. Would you be so kind as to go get me my shoes please?"
The guest obliges and goes upstairs. There he sees his friend's daughters, both very good looking. Being the adventurous and quick thinking kind, he says: "Hi, ladies! Your daddy sent me up here to make love to you!"
They stare at him and say, "That can't be!"
He replies, "OK, let's check!"
He shouts down the stairs to his friend, "Both of them?"
The reply comes back, "Yes, both of them!"

Missing

The boss wondered why one of his most valued employees was absent but had not phoned in sick one day. Needing to have an urgent problem with one of the main computers resolved, he dialled the employee's home phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper. 'Hello?'
'Is your daddy home?' He asked.
'Yes,' whispered the small voice.
May I talk with him?'
The child whispered, 'No.'
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, 'Is your Mummy there?' 'Yes'
'May I talk with her?' Again the small voice whispered, 'No'
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, 'Is anybody else there?'
'Yes,' whispered the child, 'a policeman.'
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, 'May I speak with the policeman?'
'No, he's busy,' whispered the child.
'Busy doing what?'
'Talking to Daddy and Mummy and the Fireman,' came the whispered answer.
Growing more worried as he heard a loud noise in the background through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, 'What is that noise?'
'A helicopter' answered the whispering voice.
'What is going on there?' demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive. Again, whispering, the child answered,
'The search team just landed a helicopter'
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, 'What are they searching for?'
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle...
'ME.'

A employee didn't show up for work

A boss wondered why one of his most valued employees had not phoned in sick one day.
Having an urgent problem with one of the main computers,he dialled the employee's cell phone number and was greeted with a child's whisper.
"Hello."
"Is your daddy home?" he asked.
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with him?"
The child whispered, "No."
Surprised and wanting to talk with an adult, the boss asked, "Is your Mommy there?"
"Yes," whispered the small voice.
"May I talk with her?"
Again the small voice whispered, "No."
Hoping there was somebody with whom he could leave a message, the boss asked, "Is anybody else there?"
"Yes," whispered the child, "a policeman"
Wondering what a cop would be doing at his employee's home, the boss asked, "May I speak with the policeman?"
"No, he's busy", whispered the child.
"Busy doing what?"
"Talking to Daddy and Mommy and the Fireman," the whisper answered.
Growing more worried as he heard what sounded like a helicopter through the earpiece on the phone, the boss asked, "What is that noise?"
"A helicopter." answered the whispering voice.
"What is going on there?" demanded the boss, now truly apprehensive.
Again, whispering, the child answered, "The search team just landed the helicopter."
Alarmed, concerned and a little frustrated the boss asked, "What are they searching for?"
Still whispering, the young voice replied with a muffled giggle. "ME.!!:)

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

At school, Little Johnny's classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it's very easy to blackmail them by saying, "I know the whole truth." Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny's mother greets him at home, and he tells her, "I know the whole truth." His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, "Just don't tell your father." Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, "I know the whole truth." The father promptly hands him $40 and says, "Please don't say a word to your mother."
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, "I know the whole truth." The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, "Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!"

jokes about your daddy

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these your daddy jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.