Youngest Jokes
57 youngest jokes and hilarious youngest puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about youngest that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
This article provides the freshest and naughtiest jokes about the youngest child in a family. Find out how you can use the jokes to highlight the differences between the oldest and the youngest child. Enjoy!
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Funniest Youngest Short Jokes
Short youngest jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The youngest humour may include short oldest jokes also.
- One day the youngest son asks his mother, "Mom, why do I look so different from all my siblings?".... The mother says "Son, from what I remember about that party, you are lucky that you don't bark".
- Growing up as the youngest in my family, I constantly got beat up by the two oldest mom and dad
- The youngest daughter of a cannibalistic family was late to dinner She got the cold shoulder
- Kendall Jenner is the worlds youngest billionaire She's followed in her father's footsteps in becoming a self-made woman
- Teacher to a grade 2 student : Who is the youngest member in your family ? STUDENT : Papa Teacher : How ?
Student : Because he still sleeps with mummy. - My youngest said he was going to go out on a limb, and I asked him if it would be an arm or a leg.
- Buying a new car and online dating are sort of the same thing... You're looking for the youngest model with the least amount of miles on it.
- Kim Jong-Un was very impressed with Donald Trump's rocket man remark... In fact he was so impressed that he decided to name his youngest son 'Al Ton-Jong'.
- All the people who say that 'success' comes before 'work' in a dictionary, I guess that they've never heard of the recent youngest self-made billionaire.
- An old woman is lying on her deathbed when her youngest granddaughter, holding back tears, says to her: "I love you, Grandma." The old woman replies:
Oh yeah? Name 3 of my albums.
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Youngest One Liners
Which youngest one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with youngest? I can suggest the ones about smallest and newest.
- What is the lowest and youngest rank of child-soldiers? Infantry
- As the youngest kid I often got beat by the two oldest. Mom and Dad.
- Why did Steve hate being the youngest clone? Because all his genes were hand me downs.
- I was the youngest of my family and always got beat up by the older ones. Mum and Dad.
- My youngest son gave me a dead leg yesterday. Now I'm wondering where he got it from.
- In my family i'm the youngest of three. My parents are both older
-Stewart Francis
Comical Youngest Jokes to Spread Joy and Laughter
What funny jokes about youngest you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean eldest jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make youngest pranks.
Once there were three turtles.
One day they decided to go on a picnic.
When they got there, they realized they had forgotten the soda.
The youngest turtle said he would go home and get it if they wouldn't eat the sandwiches until he got back.
A week went by, then a month, finally a year, when the two turtles said, "Oh, come on, let's eat the sandwiches."
Suddenly the little turtle popped up from behind a rock and said, "If you do, I won't go!"
Three sisters decided to get married on the same day to save their parents the expense of separate weddings.
As a further step to reduce the price tag, the three sisters resolved to spend their honeymoon night at home.
Later that night, their mother couldn’t sleep, so she went to the kitchen for a cup of tea.
On her way, she tiptoed by her oldest daughter’s bedroom and heard her screaming.
The mother thought to herself, “That’s normal, especially on her wedding night.”
She snuck by her second oldest daughter’s room and heard her laughing.
“That’s normal too,” she said, smiling to herself.
Finally, she slipped by her youngest daughter’s room where she didn’t hear a peep, but she thought nothing of it.
The next morning in the kitchen, after the husbands had gone out, the woman asked her eldest daughter about last night’s noises.
“Well Mom,” she replied, “you always said if it hurt I should scream.”
“You’re absolutely right sweetheart,
”the mother assured her, turning to her middle daughter.
“Now why were you laughing?” she asked.
“You always said if it tickled, I could laugh,” she answered.
“True enough, honey.” The mother smiled, remembering her newlywed days.
“Now it’s your turn, baby,” she said turning to her youngest daughter.
“Why was it so quiet in your room last night?”
“Mom, don’t you remember? You always told me never to talk with my mouth full.”
Courtesy of my youngest child - why didn't Elsa see a doctor for her sore t**... and cough?
Because a cold never bothered her anyway.
My youngest son thought of this all by himself...he's a 38-year-old lawyer in Nebraska.
What's in a name?
A woman sits down next to another mother on a park bench as their kids played together on a playground in Keswick, and they got to talking.
The woman was astonished that the other Mom had eleven children, all named Jayden.
Why did you call all your kids Jayden?" she asked her new friend.
"It's a great time-saver, I can just yell JAYDEN, time for bed", and they all will come running".
A perplexed look crossed the face of the first woman But don't you find it a little confusing? What if you only wanted to call one specific child, the second youngest, or the oldest? How do you get just their attention?
Simple… said the mother of eleven …then I just call them by their LAST names
hahah brick!
There is a father and he has three daughters
The oldest daughter comes up to him and asks, "Dad, why is my name Lily?"
The father responds, "because when you were born, a Lily fell on your head."
Then the second oldest daughter comes up and asks, "dad, why is my name Daisy?"
The father responds, "because when you were born, a daisy fell on your head."
Then the youngest daughter comes up and says, "Muuughmmmummphhhhhh"
"Shut up, Brick!"
One dark night, my youngest son was looking at a plane move across a clear sky...
... 'Whew', he said after it had dissapeared from sight. 'I'm never going to be a pilot.'
'Why?', I asked.
'Can you imagine how hard it would be to steer around all those stars?'
The daughter of the house walks over to her mom and asks:
"Mom. Why is my name Leaf?"
Her mother answers:
"Well, that is because when you were a new born, a leaf landed on your head."
Later the oldest son asks:
"Mom. Why is my name Feather?"
"That is because when you were a new born, a feather landed on your head." The mother answers
Lastly the youngest son walks up to his mother and says: "Ihlaadskleblaødertmakusigalabongilahaudershirp!!"
The mother says: "Please be quiet, refrigerator"
And that's how people get their names.
Beth has three children.
One day, the youngest asks his mother: "Mom, why is my name Leaf?"
"You see son, when you were born, a leaf fell on your head."
The second child comes in. "Mom, why is my name feather?"
"You see, when you were born, a feather fell on your head."
The third child then comes in to his mother: "HNGHENENNENNEFSJNGDND!!!"
"Be quiet please, Refrigerator."
My youngest brother told me this one, he laughed for hours afterwards.
What's worse than being a b**...-half?
Being a b**...-whole!
A family of hunter-gatherers sits down to dinner
The daughter, the youngest member of the family, complains, "There's a hair in my soup!"
"Well," replies her father, the hunter of the household, "technically, it's a rabbit."
a cannibal family is sitting at the dinner table...
finishing up, when the youngest cannibal comes rushing in, panting, "am i too late?" the dad replies, picking his teeth "yep, everyone's already eaten".
The eldest of three siblings comes up to his mother and asks: "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Leaf?"
"Well, honey," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a leaf landed on your head."
Satisfied, the child goes away.
Later, the middle child tugs at her mother's hand. "Mommy, mommy, why is my name Feather?"
"Well, darling," the mother says, "it's because when you were a little baby, a feather floated down and landed on your head."
The little girl smiles and goes on her way.
A few moments later the youngest child runs into the room and says: "WARGLBARGLAAHRGLB?"
The mother says: "Shut up, Refrigerator."
"My first son has a PHD in arts, my daughter has two degrees in communication and jornalism and my youngest son is a burglar."
Friend: "Wow a burglar? You should kick him out!"
Dad: "Nah... he is the only one who makes money."
A little girl asks her mother why her name is Feather
"You see, daughter - when you were born, a feather blew in through the window and landed on your head." she replies.
"Then why is my name Leaf?" Asked her little brother. "You see," replied his mother - "when you were born, a leaf blew in through the window and landed on your head."
In comes the youngest brother, and yells:
"BLARRRG BLARR BLARR!"
His mother calmly replies,
"Please be quiet, Refrigerator."
Mother has four sons joke
The older three sons are blonde with light skin. The youngest is a brunette with darker skin.
The husband is laying on his deathbed. He turns to his wife and asks "honey, I need to know... is our youngest really my son?"
The wife responds: "yes dear, of course, I swear to god with all my heart!"
Reassured, the husband then passes away peacefully. The wife huffed a breath of relief and then muttered "thank god he didn't ask about the other three"
The School Janitor
Janitor: I know im just a school janitor, but my eldest son is in M.I.T., his younger brother in Princeton, and my youngest in Harvard.
Student: (amazed) Wow, what are they studying?
Janitor: Oh no, they are janitors as well.
Two brothers were fast alseep when the eldest heard a thud sound.
Eldest: What's that sound?
Youngest: Oh, it's just my t-shirt falling off my bed.
Eldest: T-Shirt? Why was it so loud?
Youngest: Because I was still in it.
The naming of my children
Yesterday, my eldest daughter asked me,"Father, why is my name Rose?". I explain to her it was because a rose petal landed on her head as she was birthed on our patio. Curious, my middle child asked me,"Father, why is my name Lily?". I explain to her it was because when she was birthed a lily flower petal fell onto her head after it blew in through a window. My youngest grunted,"Raaghhrgh?". I reply,"Quiet down now Cinderblock we already fed you!".
I always wanted to become the world's youngest Elvis impersonator. My childhood was nonstop guitar practice voice training and dance class. I went to countless auditions before ever hitting puberty My performance was flawless but every time but every audition ended the same way...
... they looked me right in my face & said sorry kid you don't have the Chops.
A family moves into their new house.
Grandma comes for a visit and asks the youngest child, a five-year-old, how he likes the new place. It's terrific, he says. I have my own room, my brother has his own room, and my sister has her own room. But poor mom is still sleeping with dad.
Once a tap and a sink went to a bar.
The tap went in but the sink wasn't allowed to enter.
He said to the bouncer today is the oldest you've ever been and the youngest you'll ever be again. Let that sink in.
A girl asked her dad "Why is my name Rose?"
Her dad said "Because when you were a baby, a rose petal fell to your forehead"
The girl's sister asked the same. "Daddy, why is my name Lily?"
"As a baby, the petal of a lily flower fell on your head."
The youngest daughter then approached.
"AUUGHMMGRNMMM"
"Shut up, Cinderblock." The dad said.
Man on his death bed
A man is on his death bed looking at his family wich contains of a wife, 2 older boys with bright red hair and freckles, and 1 younger boy with dark brown hair and blue eyes.
He asks his boys to go out of the room so he can ask his wife something. Sweetheart tell me before I die, is our youngest child really mine? She said yes and he took his last breath and passed away.
The newly widowed woman said under her breath Thank god he didn't ask about the other two
A Danish family are having lunch.
The youngest person, a 3 year-old, eats all his food and then says "I am finish!", as he couldn't talk properly.
His mum replies >!How dare you! We are Danish, not Finnish!!<
Poor daddy
A husband and wife have four sons. The oldest three are tall with red hair and light skin while the youngest son is short with black hair and brown eyes.
The father was on his deathbed when he turned to his wife and said Honey, before I die, be totally honest with me: Is our youngest son truly my child?
The wife replied, I swear on everything holy that he is your son. With that, the husband passed away. The wife muttered Thank goodness he didn't ask about the other three.
A woman had three daughters getting married the same day. Naturally she was worried about their s**... life. It was agreed that they would send a discrete message.
Two weeks after the triple wedding the first message arrives. An ad for Maxwell House with the slogan "Good till the last drop." She's happy for her girl.
A month passes and a second message arrives with a Marlboro ad. "Marlboro: Extra long, extra strong." She's a little embarrassed, but happy.
Three months pass. She's really worried about her youngest when finally a message arrives. It's addressed in shaky handwriting and contains an ad for British Airways. "London to Paris: Seven days a week, three times a day, both ways."
She fainted.
A couple has 4 sons
The first three were tall with straight brown hair and brown eyes, but their youngest son was short with curly blond hair and blue eyes. When the husband was on his deathbed, he called his wife over and asked, "Is that 4th son mine?"
His wife said, "I swear, on all things holy, that child is yours."
The husband died a few moments later. She said to herself, "Thank God he didn't ask about the other three."
I was chatting to my mate from Liverpool.
Me: So what have you got your kids for Christmas?
Him: I got the youngest a trampoline and the
other 2 a bike each I found on the internet.
Me: What website were they on?
Him: Google Earth Street View.
A child walks up to their parents and asks
A child walks up to their parents and asks hey, mom and dad. Why did you name me Petal?
The parents smile and reply, When we got you home, a petal from a flower in the garden fell on your forehead . The child satisfied with the answer walked away.
The younger sibling came up and asked the same question.
Darling, we named you Droplet because when you got you out of a hospital, a rain drop fell on you head. Hence, Droplet , the parents replied.
Gharwaalalalaajahaha!!!! said the youngest child.
Oh shut up Refrigerator, don't be mean! the father yelled
Told to me by a six year old.
Why was the snow yellow?
Because Elsa let it go!
I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow
Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.
Three men are stranded on an island always covered in fog.
One is 20 years old, one is 40 and the third one is 60. After a few months, out of nowhere, the fog goes away, and they can see that not far from where their island, there was another island full of young n**... women.
"Quickly, let's swim to them" says the youngest.
"Why don't we wait for them to swim to us" says the 40 years old one.
"Why don't we just admire them from afar?" says the 60 years old man.
A man with 12 kids was trying to rent a house. However, no landowner would allow him to rent their house due to the number of children he had. Frustrated, the man told his wife to visit her father's tombstone and bring all but their youngest child with her.
He then visited a property and told the landowner that he would like to rent the place.
"Is this your only child?" asked the landowner.
"No, I have 12 children" replied the man.
"Then where are the other 11 kids?"
"In the cemetery with my wife," he calmly replied.
A husband and a wife have four children. The oldest three are tall with blonde hair; the youngest is short with brown hair. The husband was on his deathbed and said, honey, can you be completely honest with me? Is our youngest son mine? The wife said, I swear to all that is holy, he is your son.
Then the husband died, and his wife muttered, thank god he didn't ask about the other three.
The old, evil, bald king had three sons.
The youngest one shared his traits but the two older sons were not of an evil nature. In order to make sure the youngest one succeeded him, the king captured a fairy and promised it freedom in exchange for a wish.
"I wish for my youngest son to be my heir" said the king.
The son disappeared and the king was no longer bald.
Ol' Jed
Ol' Jed was sitting on his porch when his youngest grandson walked up to him.
"Granpa, how did you get to live so to be so old?"
"What, I'm only 85!" he exclaimed before snorting. "Well, let me tell you something. Every morning I sprinkle just a little gunpowder into my oatmeal. It's good for the heart!"
"Gunpowder!? No way! Are you joshin' with me?"
"Nope! Mark my words. Just a little pinch every morning. You'll see."
Sure enough, Ol' Jed lived another 14 years before leaving behind 7 kids, 10 grand kids, 18 great-grand kids, and a 9 foot hole in the Crematorium wall...
Knock Knock
My youngest told me this one.
"Hey dad. You'll always remember me right?".
"Of course son. I will never forget you.".
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?".
"Dad, you said you would never forget me!".
Businessman
Businessman walks into a motel/brothel. Ask the lady working the front desk...I'd like a room and for an extra $500, I want your oldest, fattest, meanest, boring in bed woman and a bologna sandwich.
The receptionist looks at him confused and says for that price we could get you our youngest, kindest, skinniest, kinkiest girl and a steak dinner with all the trimmings.
The man replys ma'am you don't understand me...I'm homesick.
Woman asks her friend "How are your kids getting on now?"
"Fine!" Comes the reply. "My oldest boy grew up to be a doctor, the second grew up to be a teacher, and my daughter grew up to be a lawyer!"
"What about your youngest boy? How's he doing?
"Ah. He grew up to be a thief. He lives at home with us still."
"So you let your three decent kids fend for themselves, and kept the black sheep of the family at home? Isn't that wrong?"
"No, of course not. He keeps us supported financially. The other three are all unemployed."
(Translated from Greek, sorry if it don't make sense!)
