Young Jokes

181 young jokes and hilarious young puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about young that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Are you looking to stay forever young? Or just looking for a way to make your teenage son feel more mature? This article outlines the importance of young jokes, from feeling young to Ernst and Young. Make sure your young boy is not missing out with this helpful advice!

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Funniest Young Short Jokes

Short young jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The young humour may include short teen jokes also.

  1. A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
  2. Old rich white men selecting strong young black men to work on their fields? I'm not sure about this nfl draft thing.
  3. Yesterday my brother uploaded a status on Facebook. He wrote in his facebook status "I love my girlfriend <3"
    I knew that he liked them young but this is getting out of hand.
  4. A young lady from my office just sent me an email saying "ithinktherearesomeproblemswithmykeyboardcanyoupleasegivemeanalternative"
    Oh boy am I excited, but what does "ternative" mean?
  5. How to find out if you're old or not: Fall down in front of a group of people. If they laugh, you're young. If they panic, you're old.
  6. When I was young, I thought rich people owned Bose music systems and the rest of us had Sony products. Turns out those were just stereotypes.
  7. Making jokes about Trump taking us to war is all fun and game until You realize you're a healthy young man
  8. Some say Steve Jobs died too young. Others say it was simply an homage to Apple's attitude towards battery life.
  9. A young man robbed a bank wearing a suit made of many mirrors But he turned himself in after taking some time to reflect.
    Luckily the judge was lenient as he saw a lot of himself in the young man.
  10. A young son asked, "Is it true, Dad, that in some parts of africa a man doesn't know his wife until he marries her?" Dad replied, "That is true in every country, son."

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Young One Liners

Which young one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with young? I can suggest the ones about youth and aged.

  1. When I was young, I always felt like a male trapped in a females body Then I was born
  2. When I was young, I was poor. After many years of hard work, I am no longer young.
  3. As a young boy my mom would always tuck me in at night She always wanted a girl.
  4. An airplane yells at his rebellious son... .. "Watch that altitude, young man"
  5. When I was young, my parents made me walk the plank.. We were too poor for a dog.
  6. My mom used to tuck me in when I was young She wanted a daughter so bad
  7. When I was young I was poor, but after decades of hard work I'm no longer young.
  8. What do you call a young plastic covered sheep? Laminated
  9. Young Macdonald had a toy... GI GI Joe
  10. When I was young, I was very poor. After years of struggle, I'm no longer young.
  11. Dad, are you having a crush on a young popular actress? Am I what, son?
  12. When I was young, I grew up in a theme park.. The theme of the park was trailer.
  13. Ever since I was young I felt like a boy trapped in a woman's body Then I was born.
  14. When I was young I was poor after years of hard work I'm no longer young
  15. Why was the young snowflake so upset? Because he just watched his mom get plowed.

Looking Young Jokes

Here is a list of funny looking young jokes and even better looking young puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • Remember when you were young and you used to blow bubbles? Well I heard he's out of prison and he's been looking for you...
  • Can anyone tell me the natural predator for young goats? When I try to look it up I just get swatted
  • What did the young digital clock say to its Grandfather clock? "Look Grandpa, no hands!"
  • I little old lady at the store told me I was a nice looking young man. I really hope she didn't drive herself there
  • An old Viking teaching young ones Once we land and enter a vilage, look for a church. If there is a church there is nothing left to pillage in the village, so just go directly to the church.
  • A young Asian boy comes home with his homework He puts the paper in front of his father saying Daddy! Look! I did so well I got a seahorse sticker!
    The father replies C-HORSE? WHY NOT A-HORSE
  • I realized I was getting older when I saw a young lady walking down the street and thought to myself. I wonder what HER mom looks like....
  • A young muslim thief returns home, he says "Look, ma! No hands!"
  • The World's Shortest Fairy Tale Once upon a time a young man asked the fairest lady in the village to marry him. She looked him up and down and said "No."
    He lived happily ever after.
  • My grandpa flirting with a 91 year-old lady at his senior home. "You look young enough to be my daughter."

Young Boys Jokes

Here is a list of funny young boys jokes and even better young boys puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A young boy goes to his father in Russia The boy asks "Papa, could I please have 5 rubles"
    Papa is surprised and asks "20 rubles? Why do you need 50 rubles?"
  • [Offensive] Adolf visits the concentration camp and asks a young boy how old he is "I'll be 6 soon!"
  • A young jewish boy asks his father for $50 His father replies: "$40? what do you need $30 for?"
  • This bloke said to me This bloke said to me, "Tim, as a young boy, was your mother very strict with you?" I said, "Let me make one thing absolutely clear. My mother was never a young boy."
  • A young boy asked his dad why does Santa only visit once a year? The dad replied because he's in jail the rest of the year for breaking and entering .
  • Dad, why is my cousin called Porsche? Dad: Because her father likes porsche cars.
    Son: Thanks dad.
    Dad: You're welcomed, young boy.
  • This is my all time favorite joke Old man: I love my job
    Young boy: all you do is round up sheep
    Old man: what did you say to me?
    Young boy: you herd
  • A friend asked me "As a young boy, was your mother very strict?" I said "Let's get one thing straight, my mother was *never* a young boy."
  • A young girl asked her mother "mom, when you had me did you want a boy or a girl? The mother responded "I wanted a backrub".
  • As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang Just got accepted into police training, who says dreams don't come true.
Young joke, As a young boy I always wanted to join a violent gang

Young Girl Jokes

Here is a list of funny young girl jokes and even better young girl puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An old man goes to the gym... An old man goes to the gym and asks a trainer, "I want to impress young beautiful girls. What's the best machine I can use?"
    The trainer responds, "The ATM"
  • I asked a pretty, young, homeless girl if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. Her expression changed, however when I walked away with her cardboard box.
  • A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."
  • What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? "Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."
  • A 70 year old man asked his wife: "do you feel sad when u see me running after the young girls?" wife replied : no, not at all. every dogs chase cars they can't drive
  • A girl goes to the doctor... Putting his stethoscope to the young woman's chest, the doctor said, "Big breaths, dear."
    She smiled. "Yup. And I'm not even thixteen yet!"
  • What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.
  • I was walking though a forest With a young girl the other night and she said "I'm scared"
    I said "Your scared, I've gotta walk back on my own"
  • When I was young man I met a girl in Tennessee turned out she was a moonshiners daughter. That was a long time ago.. But I love her still.
  • 70 year old man asked his wife... Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
    Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it.

Young Kid Jokes

Here is a list of funny young kid jokes and even better young kid puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A policeman stops a young rich kid driving a porche. Policeman - please get out of the car.
    Rich kid- you'll regret this. Do you know who my father is?
    Policeman - why? Your mother didn't tell you?
  • The only way to learn... When I was a young kid my dad taught me how to swim by throwing me in the deep end of a pool. Swimming to the ladder was easy, but getting out of the sack was the hard part.
  • I'm writing a book about my time growing up as a shy young boy with irritable bowel syndrome... ... i've decided to call it 'Diarrhoea Of A Wimpy Kid'
  • My son's arts and crafts class isn't graded. I'm glad they teach kids how worthless a liberal-arts degree is at such a young age.
  • A Rabbi and a Priest are walking down the street when a young boy passes by The priest exclaims "Let's screw him!"
    The rabbi says "Outta what? He's a kid"
  • Why are so many hotwheels based after Ford models? So kids get used to pushing them at a young age.
  • A priest and a rabbi are sitting together. A young child walks by and the priest says, "Man, i'd love to screw that kid!" and the rabbi responds, "Out of what?"
  • A Nurse talks to her young Patient Kid: Thanks for helping me get through these tough times, will you come and see me when I get out?
    Nurse: I'd love to, but I am scared of visiting graveyards
  • Why wasn't the young serpent wearing any clothes? Because he was snake-kid
  • On Halloween I give young kids little boxes of raisins. I've been accused of statutory grape.

Forever Young Jokes

Here is a list of funny forever young jokes and even better forever young puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What would happen if former baseball outfielder Darryl Strawberry was given a youth serum that kept him young and able to play indefinitely? STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER
  • Young Forever Nutritionists say people who eat less tend to be younger in appearance. It is true. One of my friends hadn't eaten for 10 days, he's forever 25 years old now.
  • A man in 1867 decided to have himself be coated in gold to stay young forever, now he's... Old but gold
  • If all my ex's live in Texas, then where are Jared Fogle's ex's? Neverland, where they stay young forever
  • At least avicii got his wish To stay forever this young, not afraid to close his eyes
Young joke, At least avicii got his wish

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Young Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about young you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean older jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make young pranks.

When I was young, my father emphasized every day how important it was to wear a c**... if I ever had s**....

He said, Any person willing to have s**... with you will sleep with almost anyone else.

When I was younger, the local priest told me that I was the prettiest boy he'd ever seen.

I was touched.

A young artist exhibits his work for the first time...

.. and a well known art critic is in attendance.
The critic says to the young artist, "would you like my opinion on your work?"
"Yes, " says the artist.
"It's worthless," says the critic
The artist replies, "I know, but tell me anyway."

A 60 year old billionaire marries a hot 24 year old...

During the wedding party, his friends ask him, How'd you land someone that young?
It's simple, said the billionaire, I faked my age!
I mean, I'm 43, and there's no way I could land her! , a friend exclaims. What age did you tell her you were?
Smiling mischievously, the billionaire responds, 85 years old.

Young love... sort of...

Once when I was at kindergarten, there was this girl I really liked. When she came in the next day, I kissed her on the cheek.
The next day, I kissed her on the lips. The next day, I put my hand under her shirt. And the next day, I put both my hands up her shirt.
Eventually she told her parents.Needless to say, that was the end of my teaching career.

An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.

"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."

Golf lessons

A young woman has been taking golf lessons. She has just started playing her first round of golf when she suffers a bee sting. The pain is so intense she decides to return to the clubhouse.
Her golf pro sees her come into the clubhouse and asks, "why are you back so early? What's wrong?"
"I was stung by a bee"
"where?" he asks.
"between the first and second hole," she replies.
He nods knowingly and says, "apparently your stance is too wide."

A blonde buys a gun.

A young blonde is distraught because she fears her husband is having an affair, so she goes to a gun shop and buys a handgun. The next day she comes home early to find her husband in bed with a beautiful redhead. She pulls the gun from her purse and holds it to her own head. The husband jumps out of bed, begging and pleading with her not to shoot herself. Hysterically the blonde responds to the husband, ''Shut're next!''

Buying aspirin

Joe has always had an uncontrollable twitch in his left eyelid since young. Fred has a splitting headache and asks Joe to go get some aspirins. Half an hour later Joe comes back with a dozen packets of condoms.
"I asked you to get me aspirins, not condoms."
"Yeah, I went to a dozen drug stores, but have you ever tried asking for aspirin with a tic in your eye?"

An young Irish boy

A young Irish boy is stood crying at the side of the road. A man asks him What's wrong wid ya laddie? The boy says Me ma is dead . Oh bejaysus the man says Do you want me to call Father O' Riley for you ? The boy replies No tanks mister, s**... is the last ting on my mind at the moment.

When I was younger, I always felt like I was a man trapped in a woman's body.

Thankfully, it all changed when I was born.


This morning someone was ringing the doorbell, so I opened the door and there was a young man standing there. "Hello sir" he said, "I'm a Jehova's Witness". I invited him in, offered him something to drink and we sat down in the living room. "So, what would you like to talk about?" I asked. He looked up from his cup of tea and said "To be honest sir, I havn't got the faintest idea, I never made it this far..."

A young accountant, straight out of uni, applies for a job...

...advertised in the Manchester Evening News. He is interviewed by the owner of a small business who has built it up from scratch. "I need someone with an accounting degree," says the man, "but mainly I'm looking for someone to do my worrying for me."
"How do you mean?" says the accountant. "I have lots of things to worry about, but I want someone else to worry about money matters."
"OK," says the accountant. "How much are you offering?"
"You can start on seventy-five thousand," says the owner.
"Seventy-five thousand pounds. How can a business like this afford to pay so much?"
"That," says the man, "is your first worry."

A young child says to his mother, "Mom, when I grow up I'd like to be a musician."

She replies, "Well honey, you know you can't do both."

Over smart.

A young businessman had just started his own firm. He had just rented a beautiful office and had it furnished with antiques.
He saw a man come into the outer office. Wishing to appear the hot shot, the businessman picked up the phone and started to pretend he had a big deal working. He threw huge figures around and made giant commitments.
Finally he hung up and asked the visitor, "Can I help you?"
"Yeah, I've come to activate your phone lines."

A younger chimp asks one of his elders what's a conditioned reflex.

The older chimp says: "When I press this red button an idiot in a white coat will open that door and bring us some bananas."

So I took a biology test the other day...

One of the questions was, "name two things commonly found in cells."
Apparently, young b**... and latinos was not the right answer.

Three Little Old Ladies

Three little old ladies were at the bus stop in front of their church when a young man ran up to them and exposed himself. The oldest one had a s**.... The other two couldn't reach.

Little Billy comes home early from school, only to find his Dad m**... in the living room...

As Billy is quite young, he is shocked and confused at what he is seeing. His Dad tries to explain:
"Don't be scared, Billy. I'm not hurting myself, I'm doing something completely normal. In fact, you are going to start doing it pretty soon as well."
"Why is that, Dad?", young Billy asks.
"Because, son, my hand is getting tired and I need someone to take over."

Some young women are like bottles of wine

They need to be tended to carefully and given time to mature, which is why I keep a few in my cellar.

I lost my watch at a party once..

I found it ten minutes later, but some guy was stepping on it. As he stood on my watch, he was s**... harassing a young woman. So I walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody does that to a girl. Not on MY watch.

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner

She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

On the bus today, I saw an attractive young woman breastfeeding

Suddenly an old woman started shouting, "you shouldn't be doing that in public, that's disgusting!!!".
A part of me wanted to scold the old woman, but another part of me thinks...
"Maybe I shouldn't have been m**... on a bus..."

Grandma, how old are you?

"A woman never reveals her age", she replied to her young grandson.
He said "Alright, just give me the first digit"
"Six" she said.
"And the second?"
Grandma sighed. "Seven."
"And the third?"

Camouflage training

The sergeant-major growled at the young soldier, "I didn't see you at camouflage training this morning."
"Thank you very much, sir."

A young Korean couple are lying in bed...

When the guy starts f**... nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon

When I was young, my mum used to put food on a spoon and say, "There's a train coming. There's a train coming." We'd always eat it because we knew that if we didn't she wouldn't untie us from the railway line.

A student comes to a young professor's office hours...

She glances down the hall, closes his door, and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do... anything."
He returns her gaze. "Anything?"
His voice softens. "Anything??"
"Absolutely anything."
His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... study?"

Found this one on Wikipedia of all places

Two young women are drinking tea together. Suddenly, the doorbell rings. One of the women opens the door and finds a courier with a big great bouquet of roses. She walks inside and reads to her friend: *"Much love from your boyfriend!"* She immediately groans out: *"You know what this'll mean? This'll mean I'll be lying on my back with my legs spread wide open for the next two weeks!"* To which her friend says, *"Don't you have a vase?"*

I met a pretty girl.

Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.

Marriage joke

My husband and I couldn't decide which jacket to buy our granddaughter, so we asked the young salesman.
If you were buying a jacket for your girlfriend, I said, what would you get?
A bulletproof one, he said. I'm married.

I used to be a telemarketer

I phone up one of my usual numbers and a little boy answers the phone.
"Are you parents home, young man?" I ask.
I hear him drop the phone and burst into tears. I wait a few seconds until someone pick up the phone. An elderly voice at the end of the line barks back at me:
"For the last time, this is an orphanage. PLEASE stop calling."

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.
Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had s**... with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

A Russian grandpa arrives at German airport

He goes to the young girl who is in charge of border control and she asks after checking the passport
"Good morning, First time in Germany?"
"First time I'm visiting my son who lives here, but I've been here before"
"Weird, your passport doesn't have a stamp on it, How did you arrive last time?"
"T-34, I was the gunner"

A 14 year old Chinese boy walks into a bar

He goes up to the the bar and signals the bartender
"I'll have a pint please"
The bartender looks him up and down and laughs
"You're way too young!"
"How you know my name!"

A boy was sitting in a bus eating chocolate. The elderly man next to him asked him...

Man : If you eat chocolates young lad, you will spoil your teeth.
Boy : My grandfather lived 110 years.
Man : By eating chocolate?
Boy : No. By minding his own business.

When I was young my dad really emphasized how important it would be to use a c**... if I ever had s**... with a girl.

I asked him why.
"Because, son," he said, "any girl that would sleep with you would sleep with anyone."

A young boy asks his dad

A young boy asks his dad: "Why do people say gardeners have green thumbs when their fingers aren't actually green?"
The dad replies: "It's just a saying, son. It's like when somebody is caught stealing something, they say that they have been caught 'red handed,' even though their hands are actually black."

A young black Jew asks his father, "Dad, am I more black or more Jew?"...

"Why do you ask?" asks the Dad.
The boy says, "Well, a guy at school has a bike for sale for $150 and I can't decide if I want to haggle him down to $100, or just steal it."

One day when I was young......

I watched my father grill burgers. When they were done, he handed me one, telling me it was a Bison burger. He then left.....never came back......I know he may not have been dedicated to his family, but he was dedicated to his jokes.

Two young boys go to a store

They have $6 between them and want a cool toy. After shopping around they come up to the register with a box of tampons. The clerk asks "Why?" One little boy replies "It says on the box you can go swimming, horse-back riding, play tennis, and other activities!! We just need to figure out how they work."

A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.

But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"
"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."

An Old Man is thrown out of a bar

A young man who was walking down the street says "Hey Old-Timer, what happened in there". The old man looks at him and says "Well son, I am Jesus Christ". "Jesus Christ?", the young man replied skeptically. "Yes my son, follow me", the old man said as he walked into the bar.
As he enters, the bartender turns around and says "Jesus Christ! not you again!"

A son asks his father, Dad, what's a dilemma?

Well, Son, imagine you were lying in bed, n**..., and, to one side, is a beautiful, young, n**... woman, and, to the other side, is a very muscular, gay man; who ya gonna turn your back on?

What's the difference between a rook and a bishop?

A rook moves in straight lines and a bishop has s**... with young boys.

A young boy is bathing with his mother

Boy says, Whats that hairy thing mom?
Mom replies, That is my sponge.
Oh yes, says the boy, The babysitters got one, I've seen her washing dads face with it.

A young boy asks his dad, What is the difference between confident and confidential?

The dad replies, You are my son, I'm confident about that. But see your friend over there? He is also my son. That's confidential.

A young man helps his grandfather with his computer issues

His grandfather seems to be unable to set a password.
Trying to figure out the problem the young man looks at the password the old man is trying to set
His password is ParisLondonMickeyMouse
Puzzled by this, the man asks his grandfather why he wants to set this password anyways.
The grandfather simply replies: It wanted two capitals and a character .

A young man sits down at a bar and says, "I want six shots of Jagermeister."

"Six shots!?" exclaims the bartender, "Are you celebrating something?"
"My first b**...," replies the young man.
"Well, in that case," says the bartender, slapping him on the back, "let me give you a seventh on the house."
The man holds up his hand, "No offense, sir. But if six shots don't get rid of the taste, nothing will."

Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river

One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful n**... woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a n**... woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!

A man who pretends to be rich in order to attract pretty, young women is not a "Sugar Daddy".

He's an artificial sweetner.

I was in a long McDonald's drive-through this morning and the young lady behind me leaned on her horn because I was taking too long to place my order.

Take the high road, I thought to myself. So when I got to the first window I paid for her order along with my own.
The cashier must have told her what I'd done because as we moved up she leaned out her window and waved to me and mouthed "Thank you.", obviously embarrassed that I had repaid her rudeness with kindness.
When I got to the second window I showed them both receipts and took her food too.
Now she has to go back to the end of the line to start all over.
Don't honk your horn at old people.

An old man is selling watermelons...

His pricelist reads: 1 for $3, 3 for $10
A young man stops by and asks to buy one watermelon.
"That'd be 3 dollars", says the old man.
The young man then buys another one, and another one, paying $3 for each.
As the young man is walking away, he turns around, grins, and says, "Hey old man, do you realize I just bought three watermelons for only $9? Maybe business is not your thing."
The old man smiles and mumbles to himself, "People are funny. Every time they buy three watermelons instead of one, yet they keep trying to teach me how to do business..."

A young couple get married and have their first night together in their new home.

As they are u**... for bed, the husband hands the wife his pants.
"Here, try these on," he says.
"What? Why?" she says.
"Just put them on," he insists.
"They're way too big," she says. "I can't wear those."
"That's right," he says. "I wear the pants in this marriage. Don't you forget it."
"Got it," she says, slipping off her p**... and handing them to him. "Here, try these on."
He holds them up and sees how tiny they are.
"Are you kidding?" he says. "I can't get into your p**...!"
"That's right. And that's the way it's going to stay until your attitude changes."

Mr. and Mrs. Keaton notice the young man staying next door always kisses his girlfriend every morning before heading to work.

"Why don't you do that?" Mrs.Keaton asks her husband.
"Darling, I don't even know the woman."

The secret of long life

A young man met a cowboy who was 104, still active and in good health. He asked the old-timer what the secret was to his longevity.
The old man said, "You gotta sprinkle a little gunpowder on your oatmeal every morning see. If you do, you'll live to a nice, ripe old age."
So the young man did this religiously every day for the rest of his life, and sure enough, lived to the age of 100.
When he died he left behind 6 children, 10 grandchildren, 56 great-grandchildren...and a 16 foot hole in the wall of the crematorium.

A mother shark is teaching her young one how to eat humans.....

"First, you go straight at them and then you circle them. You go straight at them again and circle them again. Finally, you go straight at them and then you eat them"
"But, mom, why can't I just eat them the first time around?"
"Well, I suppose you can, but why would you want to eat them with all the s**... still inside?"

A young man was about to propose marriage to his girlfriend...

Naturally, he was really nervous and couldn't think of how to pop the question. One day they were sitting on the couch and suddenly he just blurted out, I think we should get married!
Wait, his girlfriend said, taken aback, are you serious?
I think I am, he said.
You're proposing to me here on the couch? she asked.
Yes, I guess I am, he said.
That's not much of a proposal, the girlfriend said. I think you can do better.
I thought so, too, the young man said. But your sister already said no.

A woman went to the doctor's office and seen by one of the new young doctors.

After about four minutes in the examination room, she started screaming and ran down the hall. An older doctor stopped her and asked what the problem was, and she told him her story. After listening, he told her to sit down and relax in another room. The older doctor marched down the hallway to the back where the first doctor was and demanded, "What's the matter with you? Mrs. Terry is 63 years old, she has four grown children and seven grandchildren, and you told her she was pregnant?"
The new doctor continued to write on his clipboard and, without looking up, said, "Does she still have the hiccups?"

This young lad gets in the elevator, I'm standing by the b**..., so he says "fifth floor mate?"

When we get there I say "There you go, son" and he says "Don't call me son! You're not my dad!"
And I say "No, but I brought you up, didn't I?"

Two young boys walked into a drug store, picked out a box of tampons, and proceeded to the checkout counter

The man at the counter asked the older boy, "Son, how old are you?"
"Eight" the boy replied.
The man continued, "Do you know what these are used for?"
The boy replied, "Not exactly, but they aren't for me. They're for him... He's my brother. He's four. We saw on TV that if you use these, you will be able to swim and ride a bike. Right now, he can't do either"

For my first cake day I want to share a joke my dad told me when I was probably too young to really understand it. How does an elephant hide in the jungle?

Climbs to the top of a cherry tree and paints his b**... red.
What's the loudest sound in the jungle?
Giraffes eating cherries!
(Apologies if you've heard it before fellow Redditors! Maybe by next cake day I'll get better material)

A young boy is listening to the radio in the car with his father. Dad, what music did you like growing up?

I was a huge fan of Led Zeppelin, the father replies.
Who? the son asks.
Yeah, the dad responds, I liked them too.

One minute you're young and fun...

The next minute you're turning down the stereo in the car so you can see better.

Young couple at doctors office

Young couple visits doctor seeking advice,
"Sir you gotta help us, we tried everything to have a baby, we tried vitamins, we tried changing positions, we tried every different day of the month, we searched internet for pregnancy advice, but we just can't seem to have any luck with it, we need to know if there is some medical problem."
Doctor sat back on his chair crossed his hands and sighed,
"You boys are nuts."

An 8 year old girl went to work with her father on 'Take your kid to work day'

As they where walking around the office the young girl started to cry. Her father asked what was wrong. As a crowd gathered around her she sobbed ''Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"

This morning at about 7:45, I was in a long line at a grocery store that opens at 8:00 for senior citizens only.

A young man came from the parking lot and tried to cut in at the front of the line, but an old lady beat him back into the parking lot with her cane.
He returned and tried to cut in again but an old man punched him in the gut, then kicked him to the ground and rolled him away.
As he approached the line for the third time he said, "Look, if you don't let me unlock the d**... door you're never going to get in there!

At a frat party, a young man fell off the balcony and tragically passed away

His physics professor came to give a eulogy. He said He was such a brilliant student. Right at the end of his life, he had so much potential.

I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure…

So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.
The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.

Young joke, I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up fo

jokes about young