Young Girl Jokes
137 young girl jokes and hilarious young girl puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about young girl that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Young Girl Short Jokes
Short young girl jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The young girl humour may include short little girl jokes also.
- An old man goes to the gym... An old man goes to the gym and asks a trainer, "I want to impress young beautiful girls. What's the best machine I can use?"
The trainer responds, "The ATM" - I asked a pretty, young, homeless girl if I could take her home. She smiled and said yes. Her expression changed, however when I walked away with her cardboard box.
- A young girl walks in on her dad peeing... The dad fumbles around trying to cover up. Then the girl says "don't worry dad. I've seen one before. Mommy brushes her teeth with the neighbor's."
- A young girl asked her mother "mom, when you had me did you want a boy or a girl? The mother responded "I wanted a backrub".
- What does a young girl from Arkansas say just before she loses her virginity? "Careful, dad, don't crush my smokes."
- A 70 year old man asked his wife: "do you feel sad when u see me running after the young girls?" wife replied : no, not at all. every dogs chase cars they can't drive
- A girl goes to the doctor... Putting his stethoscope to the young woman's chest, the doctor said, "Big breaths, dear."
She smiled. "Yup. And I'm not even thixteen yet!" - What's the difference between young girls and photographs? After putting them in a dark room, you have to wait for the photograph to fully develop.
- I was walking though a forest With a young girl the other night and she said "I'm scared"
I said "Your scared, I've gotta walk back on my own" - When I was young man I met a girl in tennessee turned out she was a moonshiners daughter. That was a long time ago.. But I love her still.
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Young Girl One Liners
Which young girl one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with young girl? I can suggest the ones about baby girl and schoolgirl.
- As a young boy my mom would always tuck me in at night She always wanted a girl.
- What kind of sword is good for chopping up young girls? A cutlass.
- What's long, hard and makes young blonde girls scream? A math test.
- What smelled so bad it almost cost a young girl her life? Anne Frank's diarrhea.
- What do you call a young Jewish girl who solves mysteries? Nance Hebrew
- Why can't a girl drive properly but a man can? Because she's too young to drive.
- What did a hot young girl with cleavage do? Made you look!
- What do you call a young girl with a thing for older Wizards?
- The channel tunnel is a lot like a young girl Muslims want in
- What do you someone who likes really young black girls? A baedophile.
- Two young hot girls in bed. k
- If a young boy dog is called a puppy... then what is a young girl dog called?
A puppet! - What do you call someone who protects a young girls virginity? A p**...-nanny
- What do you call a Korean girl, who lost her virginity at a young age? Sum-Young h**...
- What does a young girl eat before she leaks ***? Gal-leak
Amusing Young Girl Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends
What funny jokes about young girl you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean school girl jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make young girl pranks.
So there is a mother and her daughter sitting on the plane.
They haven't taken off yet and are still on the runway. The daughter, who is pretty young, say four or five, looks out the window and gets to thinking....
"Mommy. If big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens, then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the mom, she's hungover and jet lagged.
"aw, baby, just go ask the stewardess"
So the daughter gets up to ask the flight attendant.
"Hey stewardess lady, if big dogs have puppies and big cats have kittens then shouldn't big airplanes have little baby airplanes?"
And the stewardss says "did your mother tell you to come ask me this?" The girl nods.
"well, you see, sweetheart, this is JetBlue. And we always pull out on time. That's why there's no baby airplanes. Go ask your mom about that."
A young girl goes to the doctor and tells him she is feeling ill
So the doctor places the end of the stethoscope on her chest and says "Big breaths".
To which the girl replies "Thankth, I'm only thickthteen."
A 10 year old girl opens her mother's purse, and finds her driver's license
Later, the girl says to her mom, "I know how old you are." The mom asks, "How old am I?" The girl says, "You're 34." The mom says, "You're right!"
The girl then says, "I know how much you weigh." The mom asks her how much, and the girl says, "135 pounds." The mom is a little puzzled, but says, "You're right on that, too."
Finally, the young girl says, "I know why daddy divorced you."
The mother freaks out, and asks, "Why is that?!?!?!"
The girl says, "Because you got an 'F' in s**...."
So heres one.
So a teenager walks into a store in the mall to buy a hat. He asks for what size he should get. The store manager tells him most of the hats are one size fits all. Just then a screaming toddler walks in followed by a young girl. The boy looks at them, turns to the store manager and says "that's what they said about the c**...."
Young love... sort of...
Once when I was at kindergarten, there was this girl I really liked. When she came in the next day, I kissed her on the cheek.
The next day, I kissed her on the lips. The next day, I put my hand under her shirt. And the next day, I put both my hands up her shirt.
Eventually she told her parents.Needless to say, that was the end of my teaching career.
An attractive young girl, chaperoned by an ugly old
lady, entered the doctor´s office.
"We have come for an examination," said the young girl.
"Alright," said the doctor. "Go behind that curtain and take your clothes off."
"No, not me," said the girl. "it´s my old aunt here."
"Very well,"said the doctor. "Madam, stick out your tongue."
Two old men, one French and one Spanish were sitting on a park bench.
When a beautiful young girl in a miniskirt walks by. Just as she passes them a breeze comes along and lifts the girl's skirt up revealing she's not wearing p**.... The French man looks at the Spanish man and says "C'est la vie" and the Spanish man exclaims back "Se la vi, tambien."
A young lady is at a home decoration store, and picks out a large mirror with a brass hanger.
The helpful store clerk says, "M'am, you wanna screw for that mirror hanger?"
The girl replies, "No, but I'll blow you for that matching brass end table."
First Impressions
A young teenage couple have been dating for a little while, so the girl says to the boy that she wants him to meet her parents. He is a little skeptical at this, but she tells him that if he can make a good impression with them that she will reward him with s**....
Extremely excited at the prospect of losing his virginity, the boy rushes to the local pharmacy to get some protection. However, he is a little embarrassed and unsure of himself. The pharmacist at the counter notices this and walks over to see if he can help. "First time?" the pharmacist guesses. The boy nods sheepishly. So the pharmacist gives him the basics on picking condoms. The boy thanks him, buys some, and leaves.
Finally, the big night arrives and the boy arrives at the girl's house. As the couple and the girl's parents sit down for dinner, they all bow their heads to say grace over the meal. Afterwards, they all look up to start eating, except for the boy, who still has his head bowed in prayer. Respectfully, the girl and her parents sit quietly as he continues praying to himself. After about 5 minutes pass, the girl leans over and whispers to him, "I never knew you were so religious!" He looks up at her and whispers back, "I never knew your dad was a pharmacist!"
A new doctor goes to work for a year in Cambodia, where people still get maimed from landmines left over from the Vietnam War era
In his very first day in the hospital, the doctor sees a young girl in the post-operation area. She is crying, and in a panic, she says to him, "Doctor, I can't feel my legs!"
He looks down at the young girl, and in his best bedside manner, tells her, "That's because the doctors had to amputate your arms."
This guy sites down next to a pretty young girl at a bar
This guy sites down next to a pretty young lady at a bar and they strike up a conversation. The conversation is going pretty well, so the guy says "you remind me of my little toe." The lady, who is a bit confused, responds "is that because I'm small and cute?" The guy responds "no, it's because I'm going to bang you on the coffee table when I get home."
A young couple is out carousing one evening...(could be repost)
While driving down the highway the guy says to the girl, "If I go 100 miles an hour, will you t**... clothes?" She agrees and he begins to speed up.
When the spedometer hits 100 she starts to s**.... When she gets all her clothes off he is so busy staring at her that he drives off the road and flips the car. The girl is thrown clear without a scratch but her clothes and her boyfriend are trapped in the car. "Go get help," he pleads.
She replies, "I can't, I'm n**...."
He points to his shoe that was thrown clear and says "Cover yourself with that and go get help." She takes the shoe, covers herself, and runs to the gas station down the road.
When she arrives she is frantic and yells to the attendant, "Help! Help! My boyfriend's stuck!"
The attendant looks down at the shoe covering her c**... and replies, "I'm sorry Miss. He's too far in."
He raised a pretty good question, actually.
A man and his soon-to-be ex wife were fighting in court over the custody of their young girl. Asked by the judge to present an argument in his favor, the man says: "Well, your Honour, if you slide a coin into a vending machine and a snack comes out, is the snack yours, or the machine's?"
An Irishman, by the name of O'Malley proposed to his g**... St. Patrick's Day.
He gave her a ring with a synthetic diamond. The excited young lass showed it to her father, a jeweller. He took one look at it and saw it wasn't real.
The young lass on learning it wasn't real returned to her future husband. She protested vehemently about his cheapness.
'It was in honour of St.Patrick's Day, ' he smiled.
'I gave you a sham rock.'
Annoyed by the professor of anatomy
who liked to tell "naughty" stories during class, a group of female students decided that the next time he started to tell one, they would all rise and leave the room in protest. The professor, however, got wind of their scheme just before class the following day, so he bided his time. Then, halfway through the lecture, he began. "They say there is quite a shortage of prostitutes in France." The girls looked at one another, arose and started for the door. "Young ladies," said the professor with a broad smile, "the next plane doesn't leave till tomorrow afternoon."
A young man walks into a ladies clothing store...
"I need to buy my girlfriend some gloves, but I don't know what size her hands are."
The beautiful young employee presses her hands into his and says, "I'm a 'small'. Does that help?"
"Oh yeah," he says. "You're hands are the exact same size as hers."
"Do you need anything else?" the young girl asks him.
"Now that you mention it, she also needs a bra and p**...."
That's some solid advice!
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair. While tying the girl to the bed, he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom.
While he's in there, the husband tells his wife, "Listen this guy's an escaped convict - look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jailand hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s**..., don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you."
To which the wife responds, "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked if we had any Vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong, honey. I love you too.
Getting Married!
A young couple came into the church office to fill out a pre-marriage questionnaire form.....
The young man, who had never talked to a pastor before, was quite nervous and the pastor tried to put him at ease...
When they came to the question, "Are you entering this marriage of your own free will?".....
There was a long pause. Finally, the girl looked over at the apprehensive young man and said, "Put down 'Yes.'"
Raisin Bread
A baker hires a young female assistant who likes to wear very short skirts and a thong. One day a young man enters the store, glances at the assistant and then at the loaves of bread behind the counter. Noticing the length of her skirt and the location of the raisin bread, he has a brilliant idea. "I'd like some raisin bread please," the man says politely. The girl nods and climbs up a ladder to reach the raisin bread, which is located on the very top shelf. The young man, standing almost directly beneath her, gets an excellent view just as he planned. Once she comes down he says he should get two loaves, as he is having company for dinner. As the girl retrieves the second loaf of bread, one of the other male customers notices what is going on. Thinking quickly, he requests his own loaf of raisin bread so he can continue to enjoy the view. With each trip up the ladder, the young lady seems to catch the eye of another male customer. Pretty soon, each male customer is asking for raisin bread, just to see her climb up and down. After many trips she is tired, irritated and thinking that she is really going to have to try the bread herself. Finally, once again atop the ladder, she stops and fumes, glaring at the men standing below. She notices an elderly man standing amongst the crowd, staring up at her. Thinking to save herself a trip, she yells at the elderly man: "Is it raisin for you, too?" "No," stammers the old man: "but it's quivering a bit!"
Love sickness
Love sickness has been known throughout history to affect young boys and girls. These days, love sickness is just known as hepatitis.
*Tried my best to rework a comment my professor made into joke format, kind of rambling but you get the idea*
45 year old charming guy
Having recently turned 45, I thought I had lost all the appeal and charm I used to have with the ladies, until today that is. At my local gas station, the pretty young girl who has served me every other day or so for several weeks asked for my number. I was taken aback. I explained how I was flattered but was perhaps a bit too old for her and that if I were 20 or so years younger I would happily take her up on her offer, I explained how love and s**... attraction, when intertwined, can be exciting and that I hadn't felt this way in years and asked that she save her love for someone who will truly care for her and respect her not only as a woman, but as a person.
. . . . "No," she said. "Your pump number, sir."
A cannibal took his young son for a walk in the jungle.
They came across a beautiful, n**... girl lying asleep on the ground. The boy got excited and said, "Let's eat her now, Dad!" But the father said, "No, I have a better idea. Let's bring her home and eat your mother".
Guy is looking for a new secretary...
Jealous wife: You should not get beautiful young girl with a great body. Hire someone who is older, isn't beautiful, married, has children and does not have a great figure.
Husband: OK, when can you start?
Dean of Women...
The Dean of Women at an exclusive girls' school was lecturing her students on s**... morality.
We live today in very difficult times for young people. In moments of temptation, she said, ask yourself just one question: Is an hour of pleasure worth a lifetime of shame?
A young woman rose in the back of the room and said, Excuse me, but how do you make it last an hour?
A dad joke which you can use..
Young Man: I've come to ask for your daughter's hand in marriage.
Girl's Father: You've got to take all of her or it's no deal.
Kids at the Wedding
At a friend's wedding, everything went smoothly until it was time for the flower girl and her young e**... to come down the aisle.
The boy stopped at every pew, growling at the guests. When asked afterward why he behaved so badly, he explained, "I was just trying to be a good ring bear."
I lost my watch at a party once..
I found it ten minutes later, but some guy was stepping on it. As he stood on my watch, he was s**... harassing a young woman. So I walked up to him and punched him square in the face. Nobody does that to a girl. Not on MY watch.
A depressed frog goes to visit a fortune teller
Hoping for good news he goes to meet with a fortune teller.
The fortune teller closes her eyes, makes some strange sounds, and finally says, "You will meet a beautiful young girl that will want to know everything about you"
The frog gets excited and says, "Wow! When will I meet her? At a party?"
"No," replied the fortune teller, "in her biology class."
70 year old man asked his wife...
Do you feel sad when u see me running behind young girls?
Wife: No not at all, even dogs chase cars but they can't drive it.
FROG'S DREAM GIRL
A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl.
The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are."
The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?"
The psychic says, "In biology class."
An escaped prisoner enters a house...
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed. He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he's in there, the husband tells his wife: "Listen, this guy's an escaped convict, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn't seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck. If he wants s**..., don't resist, don't complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he'll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you." To which his wife responds: "He wasn't kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!"
A little girl walks into the kitchen and asks her mother . . .
"Mommy, can I have a baby?"
Her mother smiles and says, "No, sweetie. You're too young."
"Are you sure?" The little girl asks.
"Yes, I'm sure."
The little girl then goes back outside and says to her playmates, "Okay boys - same game."
The English language is bizzare
There was a young girl from Slough
Who choked on a piece of raw dough
But the time she was through
With hiccup and cough
She woke everyone in the borough
A young korean couple are lying in bed...
When the guy starts f**... nonstop.
The girl, unable to take the smell, says, "Stop, that's disgusting!"
"Don't blame me", the guy says. "It's the dog."
"Oh, don't blame him", she says. "He was cooked perfectly."
I don't think that's a drool stain.
A pretty young girl goes into a her local dry-cleaners with an evening dress under her arm. She shows the dress to the old man behind the counter and asks
"It's really not too dirty except for this one stain, can you take care of the stain for me, please?"
The old man is hard of hearing and says
"Come again?"
The girl replies
"No, just some mustard."
A young man goes into a drugstore to buy condoms.
The pharmacist says the condoms come in packs of 3, 9 or 12 and asks which the young man wants.
"Well," he said, "I've been seeing this girl for a while and she's really hot. I want the condoms because I think tonight's "the" night. We're having dinner with her parents, and then we're going out. And I've got a feeling I'm gonna get lucky after that. Once she's had me, she'll want me all the time, so you'd better give me the 12 pack."
The young man makes his purchase and leaves.
Later that evening, he sits down to dinner with his girlfriend and her parent's. He asks if he might give the blessing, and they agree. He begins the prayer, but continues praying for several minutes.
The girl leans over and says, "You never told me that you were such a religious person." He leans over to her and whispers, "You never told me that your father is a pharmacist."
r**... boy meets his dream girl!
A young boy comes home to his father one day after school.
"Dad, I met the most INCREDIBLE girl in the world today. She's smart, she's beautiful, AND she's funny."
Dad pats his son on the back and walks him into the kitchen, "That's great, son. I'm proud of you for finding someone you like so much."
"That's not the best part, Dad. She's a v**...."
At this point the father slams his hand down on the counter, "I forbid this relationship, son. I never want you to see this girl again. And if I find out you do, I'm going to give you the biggest whooping you ever had."
Tears stream down the son's face, "But, Dad, WHY? She's amazing and she likes me!"
"Well, son. If she ain't good enough for her own family, she ain't good enough for ours."
Don't Ever Let Him See You Completely n**...
The young bride's mother had some old-fashioned ideas of
marriage, and passed them on to her daughter.
"Never let your husband see you in the n**...," she advised. "You
should always wear something."
"Yes, mother," replied the obedient girl.
Two weeks after the wedding, the girl and her brand-new husband
were preparing to retire when the guy asked, "Dear, has there
ever been any insanity in your family?"
"Not that I know of," she answered. "Why?"
"Well, we've been married for two weeks now and every night
you've worn that silly hat to bed."
Young Love
A guy and his girl go out on a date, then he drives to a scenic point, parks the car and tries to get amorous. The girl stops him with a "Why don't we just talk..."
The guy counters. "If I wanted to talk, I'd be out with my best friend".
The girl says "If I wanted to make out, *I'd* be out with your best friend".
A young woman starts choking on her seafood at a restaurant.
The man behind her says "Stand back! I'm a doctor!" and proceeds to use the Heimlich manoeuvre on her.
A whole small fish shoots out of her mouth and the woman finally gasps in a few breaths.
The doctor picks up the fish and says "What's a plaice like you doing in a girl like this?"
I met a pretty girl.
Today i asked a pretty young homeless women if i could take her home, and she said yes with a big smile.
The look on her face soon changed when i walked off with her cardboard box.
So I rear-ended a young girl in traffic the other day...
And a dwarf stepped out of the passenger side and said, "You just hit my sister's car, and I am not happy."
So I asked him, "Well which one are you?"
Why did the farmer win the Nobel Prize?
There was a clerical error. The award was intended to go to Malala Yousafzai for her advocacy work for education for young girls.
A Russian grandpa arrives at German airport
He goes to the young girl who is in charge of border control and she asks after checking the passport
"Good morning, First time in Germany?"
"First time I'm visiting my son who lives here, but I've been here before"
"Weird, your passport doesn't have a stamp on it, How did you arrive last time?"
"T-34, I was the gunner"
A young man proposes marriage to his sweetheart. The girl replies, "If I marry you, will you promise to give up smoking?" ...
"Yes, I will," came the reply.
"And drinking?"
"I will give up drinking as well."
"And going to the club with your cronies?"
"Yes, I will."
"And what else will you give up for my sake?" she asked finally.
"I have already given up the idea of marrying you."
Some people say I am an evil person. But thats not true. I have the heart of a sweet young girl,
in a jar under my bed.
When I was young my dad really emphasized how important it would be to use a c**... if I ever had s**... with a girl.
I asked him why.
"Because, son," he said, "any girl that would sleep with you would sleep with anyone."
Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having s**... with a young girl...
Dr. Watson catches Sherlock having s**... with a young girl and says:
Sherlock, what are you doing? This girl looks like she's in middle school.
Sherlock: Elementary, dear Watson.
Two young girls were talking
Girl 1: What does your daddy do for a living?
Girl 2: He's a lawyer. What about your daddy?
Girl 1: My daddy's dead
Girl 2: What did he do before he died?
Girl 1: He sort of clutched at his chest and fell over
From Garrison Keillor's "pretty good joke book"
A concerned wife goes to her husband...
"Honey, I know we said we would wait to give our little girl the birds and the bees talk, but I think it's about time."
He inquiries as to why she thinks this. Their daughter, while almost a teen, is still rather young.
"Well, I caught her m**...."
"~~Prosperous~~ Preposterous!! She's barely old enough to start her period let alone do that"
"That's the other thing, honey, I caught her red handed..."
A young boy was kissed by a girl he really liked.
But after only a few seconds, the boy abruptly ended his first kiss. "I'm so sorry, but I can't continue!" he said. "Why not," the girl asked, "didn't you like it?"
"No, that's not it," the boy replied. "It's my mom. She said that if I kiss a girl before I'm sixteen, I'll turn into a statue. And I could feel it starting already."
A young bride and groom-to-be had just selected the wedding ring.
As the girl admired the plain platinum and diamond band, she suddenly looked concerned.
"Tell me," she asked the elderly salesman "is there anything special I'll have to do to take care of this ring?"
With a fatherly smile, the salesman said,
"One of the best ways to protect a wedding ring is to dip it in dishwater three times a day."
I live in a really bad neighborhood. A young girl was pounding on my door all night.
Eventually I had to let her out.
Two 12-year olds are sitting in a park.
Laying next too each other, relaxing and cousy.
Then all of the sudden in the moment, the boy gets a kiss from the young girl.
His face turns red while backing off.
"What's wrong? Wasn't it good?" Asked the girl.
"No no no! It's just that my mom told me if I ever kiss a girl, she would turn me in a statue. And I feel it's already starting!!"
A nun in sunday school asks a girl what she wants to be when she grows up
"A p**...!" she says.
The nun is appalled.
"young lady, WHAT did you say?!"
the girl replies "A p**...".
the nun lets out a sigh of relief
"oh thank goodness, I thought you said 'protestant"!
Gorilla
A young girl hit puberty and her body started to change. One day she noticed she was getting hair down there. She went to her mom confused and the mom explained that's your gorilla and it's getting hair. Very excited the young girl went to her older sister and exclaimed my gorilla is getting hair! . The older sister looked at her and said that's nothing, my gorilla is already eating bananas.
A young couple got together and started making out.
One thing led to another, and soon they were about to have s**.... Just then they realise that neither of them really know what to do. The girl said she'd ask her mom about the steps. Her mom said that both have to undress and then she should grab the hardest part of his body and put it inside where she pees. So, she put his head in the toilet.
Donald Trump, Angela Merkel, the Pope and a little girl are on a crashing plane.
But there are only three parachutes. So Angela Merkel takes one, saying: "I'm really important so I should live." Donald Trump takes one, saying: "I'm the world's cleverest man, I should live!" But the Pope says to the little girl: "You're a young child, you're more important than me." But the girl says: "It's ok, the world's cleverest man just jumped off with my rucksack."
A frog
A frog telephones the Psychic Hotline. His personal psychic advisor tells him, "You are going to meet a beautiful young girl who will want to know everything about you." The frog is thrilled, "This is great! Will I meet her at a party?" "No," says his advisor, "In her biology class."
Julia tells her husband, "James, that young couple that just moved in next door seem such a loving twosome.
Every morning, when he leaves the house, he kisses her goodbye, and every evening when he comes homes, he brings her a dozen roses.
Now, why can't you do that?"
"Gosh," James says, "why I hardly know the girl."
A sweet young girl walks into an elevator at Macy's, trailing a cloud of expensive perfume.
She brags to the elderly woman who was inside, Coco Chanel $900 per ounce.
The lift reaches the second floor where the old lady is about to get off. As she steps out of the elevator, she rips out a rumbling f**.... Trailing a heavy cloud, she smiles sweetly and announces, broccoli, 49 cents a pound.
A young girl tells her father: "When I grow up, I want to be a feminist."
To which the father replies "Pick one or the other, sweetheart. You can't do both."
A young man was round at his fiancee's home, having a serious talk with her father....
"Sir, I'd like to marry your daughter," he announced .
His girl's father looked at him.
"Have you seen my wife yet?" he asked.
"Oh Yes Sir," replied the man. "but if you don't mind, I'd prefer the daughter sir"
A young girl wet herself during class......
The teacher said "SARAH! Why didn't you put your hand up"?
Sarah replies "I did Miss, but it kept running through my fingers".
I heard you like reposts, so here's one from 114 years ago.
**TOWN AND COUNTRY**
The young woman who was boarding at the farmhouse expressed to the farmer her anxiety at the savage way in which the cow regarded her.
It must be on account of that red blouse you've got on, miss, answered the farmer.
Dear me! exclaimed the girl. Of course, it's out of fashion; but I had no idea a country cow would notice it.
(From the London Journal, July 2nd, 1904)
Degree
I was waiting for a green light when I saw an elderly woman walking with a small child.
The excited young girl was walking slightly faster than the old lady, so the woman yelled, Degree! Wait for me!
Intrigued by such a unique name, I got out of the car and asked why she called the girl Degree.
She said, Well, I sent her mother to college to get an education, and she came home with this instead.
Credit to u/Princess_Kookie
A young girl accepts a dare, and wins a dollar
she tells her mom about it, saying how the boys dared her to climb a post.
"Silly girl, that's so they could look up your skirt."
So the next day, the girl comes back and says "They tried to make me climb that post again, but I outsmarted them this time!"
"Really? What did you do?"
"I told them 'I'm not going to be fooled into reposting!"
A young man on his first date.
A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have s**... when the girl stopped. I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a h**... and I charge $20 for s**.... The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. Why aren't we going anywhere? asked the girl. Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25…
My wife got mad after telling this story.
You can make yours mad too. And this is the story:
I got on this bus on my way home from work. I noticed this young boy and g**... the far end. First it was the usual kissing. Then the girl got touchy, what baffles me is it seems to be normal to others. Then the unthinkable happened, the girl pulled her shirt up and showed a breast. The boy s**... it immediately. I can tell, the girl's on her early 20's. The boy? Around 6 months.
Out walking last night decided to take short cut through a Cemetery when 3 young girls came towards me and said they were petrified walking through the grave yard and asked if they could walk along side me so I said yes...
As we were walking I said don't worry I understand I used to be petrified walking through here when I was alive.
Never seen anybody run so fast.
R Kelly likes his girls like he likes his professional footballers
Young, fit, and not allowed to come out.
