You Stink Jokes
125 you stink jokes and hilarious you stink puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you stink that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest You Stink Short Jokes
Short you stink jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you stink humour may include short you so stank jokes also.
- I got sprayed in the chest by a skunk so I had my tiny therapist wash my clothes for me. My shrunk shrink stopped my shirt's skunk stink.
- My wife complains I use too much toilet paper and I should only use three sheets. Now she complains that the bed linen stinks.
- A man sees a couple trash-men working, "Hows's business," he asks... One of the trash-men reply, "Business stinks, but it's pickin' up."
- I've heard a theory that the dinosaurs died out because their eggs became rotten. It was a mass egg-stink-tion!
- Everyone tells me nose jokes stink... but I think eye jokes are cornea
- My girlfriend told me to kiss her where it stinks..... So I drove her to New Jersey
- Why do cow farms stink? They're full of dairy airs.
- My friend's house stinks because he lives downwind from a milk processing firm. Everything smells like dairy air.
- Only 40% of Americans say their farts stink. What do you call the other 60 %? Liars
- Why did the Earth smell so bad after the meteor hit it? Because afterwards the dinosaurs were all egg stink.
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You Stink One Liners
Which you stink one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you stink? I can suggest the ones about you so stinky and you smell bad.
- From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks? You.
Why I oughta...! - I like my women like I like my coffee ... ... Irish and stinking of whiskey.
- Why do the French stink? So blind people can hate them too
- Which game of thrones character doesn't stink ? Bran
He is Hodorless - What rhymes with boo and really stinks? You
- Why do farts stink? So deaf people can enjoy them
- I heard that drake insists on lavender scented condoms... ...So his farts don't stink
- What does a rock put on when it stinks? Geodorant.
- why did the pencil stink? …because it was a No. 2
- If skunks didn't have their protective smell... They would go ex-stinked.
- Why did the dinosaur end his relationship? Because his ex stinked.
- What would happen if skunks lost their smell? They'd become ex-stinked.
- Why do farts stink? So the deaf can enjoy them too.
- Q. Why does this Star Trek uniform stink? A. William Shatner
- What did the philosopher say after he took a bath? "I stink, therefore I swam."
You Stink So Bad Jokes
Here is a list of funny you stink so bad jokes and even better you stink so bad puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why does Piglet stink so bad? Cause he always plays with Pooh.
- Yo momma stinks so bad..... She walked into a cemetery and everyone got up and left!
- Why are asians bad at golf? They stink at driving.
Happy You Stink Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about you stink you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean you smell jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you stink pranks.
A couple driving home hit and wounded a skunk on the road.
The wife gets out and brings it back to the car.
"We need to take it to a vet. Its shivering, it must be cold, what should I do?" she asks.
Husband replies "Put it between your legs to keep it warm."
"But it stinks!" she exclaims.
"So hold its nose!"
Did you hear the joke about the skunk?
Never mind, it stinks.
What's a skunk's philosophy of life?
Eat, stink and be merry.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and a balloon?
A creature that stinks to high heaven.
What do you get if you cross a skunk and an owl?
A bird that stinks but doesn't give a hoot.
Three Guys Are Getting Ready For Their Dates
The first guy pops a breath mint for his date so his breath smells good. Then the second guy starts chewing some gum so his breath smells good. Then the last guy starts eating onions and garlic. The others say "Don't you want to have nice smelling breath for your date?"
"Nah" he says, "The lips I'm kissing tonight already stink."
You fall asleep in lecture
and when you wake up you cannot remember what class you are in. A demonstration is happening at the front of the class. How do you figure out where you are?
If the demo moves its biology, if it stinks its chemistry, and if it doesn't work its physics.
r**... husband and wife are smuggling a couple skunks across the border.
As they approach the border checkpoint the wife panics..."what do I do with these?!" she exclaims while frantically fumbling the skunks
"Quick now Mary Ann, hide them under your skirt!" said the red-neck husband in between his beer c**....
"Now, now whattabout the gadaym stink?!" says Mary Ann...
"If they die, they die hunnycakes"
Why do women wear make-up and perfume?
Because they're ugly and they stink
What's the difference between Limburger cheese and my friend Ted?
One is white and stinks, and the other is cheese. (As told to me by the UPS guy)
Baked Beans.
One day I met a sweet woman and fell in love. When it became apparent that we would marry, I made the supreme sacrifice and gave up beans.
Some months later, on my birthday, my car broke down on the way home from work. Since I lived in the countryside I called my wife and told her that I would be late because I had to walk home. On my way, I passed by a small diner and the odour of baked beans was more than I could stand. With miles to walk, I figured that I would walk off any ill effects by the time I reached home, so I stopped at the diner and before I knew it, I had consumed three large orders of baked beans. All the way home, I made sure that I released all the gas.
Upon my arrival, my wife seemed excited to see! me and exclaimed delightedly: "Darling I have a surprise for dinner tonight."
She then blindfolded me and led me to my chair at the dinner table. I took a seat and just as she was about to remove my blindfold, the telephone rang. She made me promise not to touch the blindfold until she returned and went to answer the call. The baked beans I had consumed were still affecting me and the pressure was becoming most unbearable, so while my wife was out of the room I seized the opportunity, shifted my weight to one leg and let one go. It was not only loud, but it smelled like a fertilizer truck running over a skunk in front of a pulpwood mill. I took my napkin from my lap and fanned the air around me vigorously. Then, shifting to the other cheek, I ripped off three more. The stink was worse than cooked cabbage. Keeping my ears carefully tuned to the conversation in the other room, I went on like this for another few minutes. The pleasure was indescribable. When eventually the telephone farewells signalled the end of my freedom, I quickly fanned the air a few more times with my napkin, placed it on my lap and folded my hands back on it feeling very relieved and pleased with myself. My face must have been the picture of innocence when my wife returned, apologizing for taking so long. She asked me if I had peeked through the blindfold, and I assured her I had not. At this point, she removed the blindfold, and twelve dinner guests seated around the table chorused: "Happy Birthday!"
MY friends are like second-day socks...
They come through in a pinch, but they really stink sometimes.
Why do giraffes have long necks?
Because their feet stink.
A man and a girl are attracted to one another. The girl tells the man "Kiss me were it stinks" So the man...
... Takes her to New Jersey and kisses her there!
Politics is like m**...
Whether you use the left or the right, you're going to get a similar result. It'll feel good fat first, but then it'll just stink and someone's going to have to clean it up.
I have the body of an 20 year old...
...but it's starting to stink up my basement so I'm thinking I'm gonna burn it.
There were a pair of twin skunks...
One was named in, the other was named out. When out was out, in was in and when in was in out was out. One day, out was in and in was out so mama told out to go out and bring in in, so out went out and brought in in, and mama asked "how did you find in so quickly?"
He replied, "In-stinked!"
The badger
A husband and wife are driving home and run over a badger, they get out and find it's still breathing but freezing cold.
The husband says,"Put it between your legs to warm it up."
The Wife replies "But it's all wet and it stinks!"
Husband says "Well, hold its nose!".
What did the fish say for stinking up the sushi restaurant?
I am saury.
Why do most movie sequels stink?
Because movie makers are basically doing a number 2.
A m**... and w**... walk into a sub shop
One orders the Italian, the other orders a filthy stinking drunk.
Religions are like farts...
Everyone likes their own but thinks all the others stink.
"Silent farts that don't stink..."
An old woman visits the doctor for a routine check-up.
"Doctor, I have constant gas, but the farts are always silent and they don't stink!"
The doctor prescribes her some pills and sends her on her way.
Two weeks later she returns for a follow-up.
"Doctor, I still have constant silent farts, but now they stink!"
Doctor replies, "Alright, so we have cleared out those sinuses, now for your hearing..."
A guy came to me at the bar the other day and said "Hey bartender, I don't have much money so give me a cheap shot!"
. . I told him "your mom is ugly and your breathe stinks"
What did Jay Sherman say about your breath?
It stinks!
What do fat girls do in the summertime?
Stink.
Two spices are talking
One spice says "man it stinks like b.o. in here!"
Other spice says "come on man I'm only cumin"
She said "kiss me wear it stinks"
So I took her to New Jersey and kissed her
Three skunks are walking down a road...
And they come to a fork in the road. The first skunk says, "My instincts tell me to go to the left." The second skunk says, "My instincts tell me to go to the right." The third skunk says, "Well my end stinks too, but it doesn't talk to me."
Why do [Mexicans, Jews, Italians, b**..., Asians, Samoans, Indians, Jews again, etc.] stink?
So blind people can hate 'em too
What do houses eat when their breath stinks?
Apart Mints
What do fat people do in the summer?
Stink
What's the difference between the 2016 presidential debates and a pen of baboons relentlessly fighting over the dead stinking corpse of a sheep?
Microphones!
Why did the ghost stink?
Because it was covered in sheet
It really stinks when you bite into what you expect to be a hot dog but it's actually a sausage
That's the wurst
2017 stinks
Billions of people haven't showered since last year.
I take the bus to school
So every morning I take the bus to campus. On the way, it stops by the local prison.
This morning, while we were stopped by the prison, I heard a loud c**.... I look to my right and I see what used to be a window, now shattered.
I'm looking at the window, and I see some rope fly out. Following the rope, I see an inmate. A rather small inmate. As a matter of fact, the man was a dwarf.
I stared at him in awe. As he made his way down the rope towards freedom, he notice me observing him. He gave me the stink eye. I thought to myself:
Wow, that's a little condescending.
Why does plutonium stink?
Because it's chemical element symbol is Pu.
Kids are like farts
You're proud of your own, but everyone else's stinks!
I think I suffer from synesthesia...
I can't differentiate the pink from the stink.
That's it. I'm done. I'm throwing in the towel
Because it stinks and its time to do a load of towels in the laundry.
Oh Sister.
A young nun joined an order which allowed her to say only two words every ten years.
After the first ten years, she said to the Mother Superior -- "Bed hard."
Ten years later, she said -- "Food stinks."
Ten years later, she said -- "I quit."
The Mother Superior said, "I'm not surprised, you've done nothing but complain ever since you got here."
Opinions are like butts
Everyone has one, and they all stink.
There's a woman named Jean who works in my lab and everyday she comes in stinking of body odor.
I don't really speak to her much and rarely say hello, usually if I pass her in the hallway I just say "Hi Jean"
Did you hear about the insecure skunk?
He could never trust his end stinks.
What time of day stinks?
The crack of dawn
I laugh when people say that Elon Musk is stinking rich...
He can't afford to sleep in to 10:00 am every day like me.
Why shouldn't you shortchange a skunk?
It's bound to make a stink.
A bee, a fly, and a mosquito signed up for a website that sometimes stings, usually stinks, and mostly s**.... What website is this?
BuzzFeed
Why do cherry trees stink?
George Washington cut one.
Apparently I told this to my Catholic priest as a child..
What's the difference between your mom and a tire?
Not much, they both stink like rubber and leave skidmarks.
I've never understood two in the pink one in the stink
Who has three arms?
What's the difference between ninja skunks and bees?
Ninja skunks will stink and kill ya, while bees will sting and kill ya.
An elderly lady goes to see the doctor about her flatulence.
Doctor, can you please help? I pass wind all the time. They don't smell, they don't make a sound, but I've f**... three times already since coming in here.
The Doctor prescribes some tablets and asks the lady to return in a week.
Doctor, help! My gas has gotten worse! They still don't make a sound but now they stink, it's disgusting!
The Doctor replies, Good, we've fixed your sinuses, now let's work on your hearing.
Why does church stink?
Because of the "PEEE-EWWWS!"
What's the deal with scented candles?
If they work, they stink. If they don't work, they still stink.
What's a polite way to tell someone that their breath stinks?
I'm bored, how about we do shots... Of mouthwash.
Dog sees bird flying. Dog asks bird how did you learn to fly like that? Bird says My instincts. Dog says...
Well my end stinks too but I can't get it more than a foot off the ground.
What do you call a dinosaur that doesn't bathe?
Ex-stink-t
Imagine yourself in the 1800s...
You're in a large city with a great port. You're in a nicer part of town, away from the water, in a nice inn. You're having a meal of potatoes. You look down - there's a toe! The toe smells like tar and fish. It stinks. Your neighbor leans over and says, "P.U.! That's not just any toe!! That's a portmanteau!"
I just learned that my local supermarket stopped selling my favorite cheese
They cut the cheese and it stinks.
A Nun walks into a bar, looking like she hasn't washed in weeks.
She leans up against the bar, clothes all covered in dirt, stinking to high heaven, and lights up a cigerette.
The barman says, "You know, thats a filthy habbit Sister!"
"I know, I know", she replies, "but I haven't got anything else to wear."
[OC] My gf went to a psychologist who diagnosed her with a form of mental halitosis.
Apparently her personality stinks.
Philosophy of a skunk
I stink, therefore I am
Nose jokes stink
But eye jokes are cornea
My mask stinks
My wife: That's your breath.
True story, my younger son called my older son "s**..."...
wife: "We don't call people the 's-word' in this house!"
me: "Yes. Don't call people s**...'. That's r€tarded."
wife: \*stink eye\*
son: \*helpless giggles despite determination not to laugh at anything Dad says\*
What stinks and sounds like a bell?
DUNNNNNGGGGGG!
