You So Skinny Jokes
144 you so skinny jokes and hilarious you so skinny puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you so skinny that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest You So Skinny Short Jokes
Short you so skinny jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you so skinny humour may include short you are so skinny jokes also.
- I told my wife, "You are so skinny." Then I grabbed her by the love handle and said, "Just look at all this skin."
- I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once.
- Why does Japan have so many skinny people? Last time they had a fat man, they lost a city.
- Gandhi walked barefoot most of the time, was quite skinny, and apparently had bad breath. That'd make him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis
- A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why" - My grandpa just walked into the room with a young man wearing skinny jeans and a beard. I said, Who is this, grandpa?
Grandpa: He's my hip replacement. - I know skinny jeans are fashionable... But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off
- Wife to husband: Did I get fat during quarantine? Husband replies: you weren't really that skinny to be begin with!
Time of death: 11:00pm
Cause of death: Covid-19 - Whats fat on the bottom, skinny on the top, and has ears? Mountains!
...what? You've never head of mountaineers? - As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.
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You So Skinny One Liners
Which you so skinny one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you so skinny? I can suggest the ones about you so ugly and you so fine.
- I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man... I am trans-fat.
- What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
- Why are plants so skinny? They usually have a light lunch.
- What do you call a skinny Muslim A muSLIM.
- Why is Caitlyn Jenner so skinny? Because the FDA just banned trans fats.
- What do you call a skinny feminist? Photoshopped.
- What do you call a skinny person that identifies as obese? A trans fat
- Fat people are harder to kidnap But skinny people are worth less at the meat market
- What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow? A moo-slim.
- How are a pair of skinny jeans like a cheap motel? No ballroom
- What do skinny jeans and modern houses have in common? No ballroom
- What do skinny jeans and motels have in common? No ballroom.
- Life is like a box of chocolates Fat people go through it faster than skinny ones
- I like my women like i like my jeans... Skinny, tight, and ripped...
- Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person... I'm trans fat.
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What funny jokes about you so skinny you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean you so soft jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you so skinny pranks.
Yo momma so skinny she can hula hoop with a Cheerio.
Yo momma is so skinny she uses a Cheerio as a hula hoop.
Yo' Mama is so skinny, she uses dental floss for toilet paper.
Yo' Mama is so skinny, her n**... touch.
The Ballerina
This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
An elderly man in Saskatchewan.
An elderly man in Saskatchewan had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**..., or make you get out of the pond n**...." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...
Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, "My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?"
Skinny
If fat people have more skin shouldn't they really be the 'skinny' ones?
I once knew a girl so skinny...
that when she swallowed a grape, 3 men left town.
(it takes some thought)
A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
Not sure if reposting but I thought this was funny.
So there are three girls in line for cucumbers. The first girl gets to the front of the line and says " I want a long and skinny cucumber". The second girl came up and said " I want a short and fat cucumber". The last girl came up and said " I just want a cucumber that's good for making a salad."
All jeans are skinny jeans...
...if you're fat enough.
The old Man's Pond
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or make you get out of the pond n**....'
Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
What do you call two tall skinny guys looking out a window?
Curt n' Rod
The Human Genome Project had a breakthrough and isolated the genes that make someone homosexual.
They are skinny genes.
What is a carpenters dream girl?
What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.
What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny woman?
One is a phony buck...
What do you call a skinny person with a lisp
Methed up
Why won't skinny girls date fat men?
They get jealous when the boyfriend has a better rack than they do.
What did the fat p**... say to the skinny p**...?
"We really should have made better life choices."
Why are Japanese people all skinny?
Because of their national diet.
What do you call a skinny misogynist?
Skinny or fat, I find that they prefer to think of themselves as "egalitarian".
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
What do you do to turn off s**... Jenny?
"It may not be long, but it sure is skinny"
What do you call an anorexic Guinea pig?
A skinny pig.
Fact: Fat people falling down is always funnier than a skinny person falling down.
A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.
A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.
Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"
From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"
What do you call a skinny, Islamic cow?
A moo-slim.
How are skinny jeans like a small mansion?
They have no ball room.
Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?
Because they are always losing pounds.
A young child caught her parents in the bedroom last night.
The child asks,
"Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on daddy's stomach last night?"
The mother replies,
"I have to do that, or else daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."
"That's not going to work, you silly!" responds the child.
"Why not?" asks the mother.
"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
A magical mirror will s**... in anyone who lies to it.
A skinny brunette goes up to the mirror and says "I think I'm fat" Boom s**... in. A redhead goes up to the mirror singing a Stevie Wonder song and says "I think I can sing soul music" Boom s**... in. Finally the blonde goes up to the mirror and says "I think---" Boom and the mirror s**... her in!
Why do Scottish men have long skinny d**...?
Because they're tight f**... wankers.
I swear skinny people without butts eat the most...
They're bottomless!
An Irish Lumberjack
A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.
The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.
"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.
Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"
I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat.
So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious
Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years,
you know, like has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.
Why are math students so skinny?
Because they buy no meals.
(Binomials)
I don't care if you're black, white, straight, bisexual, gay, lesbian, short, tall, fat, skinny, rich or poor...
I still hate you.
These skinny jeans are like a cheap hotel
No ballroom
What do you call a skinny tree?
The Real Slim Shady
I like my pants like I like my women...
Skinny and cheap
In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman.
According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
It's so sad...
that trees look at telephone poles, and think that being tall and skinny is the only way to get people talking.
eeny, meeny, kanye, flo
you come to a fork in the road. the path to the left sports a sign guaranteeing a gruesome end to all trespassers. the one to the right looks clear, except for a skinny guy with a hat who freestyles rhyming insults at you. do you risk certain doom… or chance the rapper?
Did you hear that Vince Gilligan (of Breaking Bad fame) is now working for Nickelodeon?
The first show he's signed on to do is The Adventures of Skinny Pete & Pete
Why do gay people always wear skinny jeans?
Because they can't stand straight cut.
What do you call a skinny fast food worker?
A new hire
If you had to choose...
Between eating bacon everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life, would you choose applewood or hickory smoked?
An Old Man and His Lake
An old man went down to his lake to clear brush from a recent storm. When he arrived he found 8 beautiful women skinny dipping in the water. Seeing him the women yelled "you get out of here old man. We're staying under the water until you're long gone so you don't see a thing." Quickly the old man replied "I apologize ladies. I'm not here to spy on you. I just came to feed the alligators."
Why are guys who wear skinny jeans bad at s**...?
They can't get them off
Sure, skinny jeans make you look skinny...
Just like thin mints make you look thin.
What do you call a skinny man in sunglasses?
Slim Shady.
I saw a t**... that looked EXACTLY like Gwen Stefani... with the hair, lashes, makeup, skinny pants, heels, the whole nine.
I was like, "Don't speak"
My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too."
"Unless you're on a see-saw with them," I added.
They say inside every fat person is a skinny person trying to get out.
But that's silly. Surely the skinny people aren't still alive after they eat them.
What do skinny jeans and a small house have in common?
Neither have ball room.
One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or get out of the pond n**...". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
A group of men from San Francisco were skinny dipping...
When a c**... floated to the surface
"okay guys, who f**...?
What do you call a skinny Asian electrician?
Light Ning
If you're skinny but identify as a fat person...
Would that make you a trans-fat?
Yo mama so skinny...
The pole dances around her.
At what age should men stop wearing skinny jeans?
Trick question... they should never wear them.
They took a poll one day about womens' legs...
Around 6% said they liked fat legs...
Around 3% said they liked skinny legs
The other 91% said they preferred something in between.
What's the difference between a fake dollar bill and a skinny p**...?
One's a phony buck
An old farmer was picking apples. After filling up a bucket and walking back to the farm, he saw a group of beautiful women swimming in his pond
As he got closer, he realized they were skinny dipping. When the group noticed the old farmer approaching them, one girl shouts to him "we are not coming out until you turn away". The farmer, thinking quick, holds up the bucket of apples and says "I'm just here to feed the gator anyway"
