You So Skinny Jokes
144 you so skinny jokes and hilarious you so skinny puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you so skinny that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest You So Skinny Short Jokes
Short you so skinny jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you so skinny humour may include short you are so skinny jokes also.
- I told my wife, "You are so skinny." Then I grabbed her by the love handle and said, "Just look at all this skin."
- I saw a skinny guy getting brutally beat up by 5 huge guys! I'm not the hero type, but still decided to help out. It felt good being on the winning side for once.
- A fat man meets a skinny man The fat man tells the skinny man: "when people look at you, they think the world's starving to death"
And the skinny man responds: "when they look at you, they know why" - I know skinny jeans are fashionable... But as a slightly chubby man, I just can't seem to be able to pull them off
- Wife to husband: Did I get fat during quarantine? Husband replies: you weren't really that skinny to be begin with!
Time of death: 11:00pm
Cause of death: Covid-19 - Whats fat on the bottom, skinny on the top, and has ears? Mountains!
...what? You've never head of mountaineers? - As a fat guy, I tend to avoid wearing skinny jeans. I find it very difficult to pull it off.
- If you had to choose... Between eating bacon everyday or being skinny for the rest of your life, would you choose applewood or hickory smoked?
- It's so sad... that trees look at telephone poles, and think that being tall and skinny is the only way to get people talking.
- Why are the Japanese always so skinny? The last time there was a fat man in Japan a whole city disappeared.
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You So Skinny One Liners
Which you so skinny one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you so skinny? I can suggest the ones about you so fine and you so soft.
- I am an obese man identifying as a skinny man... I am trans-fat.
- What do skinny jeans and cheap hotels have in common? No *ball*room
- I like my women like i like my jeans... Skinny, tight, and ripped...
- Even though I'm pretty skinny, I identify as an obese person... I'm trans fat.
- Why are math students so skinny? Because they buy no meals.
(Binomials) - What do you call a skinny tree? The Real Slim Shady
- I'm a transfat... I'm fat, but identify as skinny.
- What does a skinny pharmacist take? Gotnoasitol
- What do you call an anorexic Guinea pig? A skinny pig.
- What do you call a skinny Asian electrician? Light Ning
- My wife said I looked skinny. I said, "Thanks. You should try it."
- Why was the skinny scientist so excited? >!He just won the no belly prize!<
- To the guy who stole my really tight skinny jeans... You won't be able to run, just hide.
- I like my pants like I like my women... Skinny and cheap
- I like my girls like I like my Hershey Kisses... Round at the bottom, skinny at the top
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious You So Skinny Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about you so skinny you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean skinny jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you so skinny pranks.
Yo Mama So Skinny She Could Only Fit One Stripe On Her PJs.
A blonde, a fat brunette, and a skinny redhead find a magic mirror. If you lie to the mirror you die. The redhead says, "I look fat," and dies. The brunette says, " I look skinny," and dies. The blonde says, "I think..." and dies.
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Yo' Mama is so skinny, her n**... touch.
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Q: How many hipsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: One to screw it in and the other to wear skinny jeans.
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before.
"It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted.
Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag.
"Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter.
"All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
I started wearing skinny jeans because they're fashionable and I was tired of my wife respecting me as a man.
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The Ballerina
This n**..., sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"
The bartender pours the drink and the woman c**... it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"
Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"
After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"
The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"
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An elderly man in Saskatchewan.
An elderly man in Saskatchewan had owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back, fixed up nice; picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees. The pond was properly shaped and fixed up for swimming. One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over. He grabbed a five gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**..., or make you get out of the pond n**...." Holding the bucket up he said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
A priest, a minister, and a rabbi decided to go skinny dipping...
Suddenly, they saw three women walking towards them. Each was a member of their flocks. The priest and the minister covered their privates with their hands and closed their eyes waiting for the agony to end.
After the women walked away they noticed the rabbi had covered his face and not his nether regions. He said, "My flock recognizes my face. What kinda sermons do you give?"
I once knew a girl so skinny...
that when she swallowed a grape, 3 men left town.
(it takes some thought)
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What do you call a skinny Pakistani cow?
A moo-slim.
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The Watering Hole
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or make you get out of the pond n**....'
Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
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A priest, a rabbi, and a minister...
Are skinny dipping in the forest one day. Joking and talking philosophy and such. Suddenly they hear a large group of locals walking down the path toward them. To their dismay, they realized that they left their clothes hanging on branches on the other side of the path and would have to run past everyone to get them.
The minister gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the oncoming people to get his clothes.
The priest, in turn, gets out of the water, covers his junk and runs as fast as he can past the people to his clothes.
Finally the rabbi gets out of the water, covers his face and runs as fast as they can to his clothes.
As they dress the priest turns to the rabbi and asks,
"Why did you cover your face and not your g**...?"
"Well I don't know about you guys, but in my congregation they know me by my face."
Not sure if reposting but I thought this was funny.
So there are three girls in line for cucumbers. The first girl gets to the front of the line and says " I want a long and skinny cucumber". The second girl came up and said " I want a short and fat cucumber". The last girl came up and said " I just want a cucumber that's good for making a salad."
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The old Man's Pond
An elderly man in Louisiana had owned a large farm for several years.
He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts, and some apple and peach trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn't been there for a while, and look it over.
He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit.
As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond.
He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.
One of the women shouted to him, 'we're not coming out until you leave!'
The old man frowned, 'I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or make you get out of the pond n**....'
Holding the bucket up he said,
'I'm here to feed the alligator...'
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I am not skinny!
I'm just small b**......
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What is a carpenters dream girl?
What is a carpenters dream girl? Flat as a board, skinny as a nail and easy to screw.
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Mahatma Gandhi was a good man...
He also had an odd diet which gave him a pretty pungent breath, not only did he have bad breath from his diet but it also made him incredibly skinny. Another thing he did was walk around barefoot all the time so his feet were tougher than most people's.
I guess you could call him a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.
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What's the difference between a counterfeit dollar and a skinny woman?
One is a phony buck...
What's the hardest part of wearing skinny jeans?
Explaining to your parents your iphone isn't the only thing that's bent
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What do you call a skinny person with a lisp
Methed up
Why suicidal people are usually skinny
because most likely, they haven't eaten in years.
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I enjoyed your vampire joke and remembered this one, check it out.
There was this bar for vampires only. It was crowded with famous and rich vampires like Dracula, Nosferatu, Edward, Selene, Victor...
Dracula himself was enjoying a cup of 18 y/o O negative, delicious.
And this skinny looking vampire enters the bar and asks for a cup of hot water. No blood. The bartender is a bit skeptical - "what are you doing with a cup of hot water?!"
"just found a used t**..., gonna make myself some tea"
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Why won't skinny girls date fat men?
They get jealous when the boyfriend has a better rack than they do.
Did you hear about that skinny asian guy that won poker?
What did the skinny fish call the fat fish?
Hey fatty... acid.
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What do you call a skinny feminist?
Photoshopped.
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Ron, an elderly man in Florida...
Ron, an elderly man in Florida, had owned a large farm with a big pond in the backyard for several years. The pond was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nicely with picnic tables, horseshoe pits, and citrus trees.
One evening the old farmer decided to go down and check on the swimming hole, because he hadn't been to that area of the property in a while. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee.
As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence, and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted to him, "We're not coming out until you leave!"
Ron frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**...."
Rob held the bucket up high and said, "I'm here to feed the alligator."
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What did the fat p**... say to the skinny p**...?
"We really should have made better life choices."
Why are Japanese people all skinny?
Because of their national diet.
How did Watson and crick blow their chance with a hot girl?
They said, "baby you'd look good if you got a pair of skinny genes"
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic
A Rabbi and a Priest were having a picnic on a really hot summer day and wanted to dip in the river to cool off. They had not thought to bring bathing suits, so decided to skinny dip instead.
The river was flowing rapidly and both clergy were washed a short distance downstream before getting out. After climbing out of the river they had just started to make a run for it to get to their clothes, when many members of their congregation came into view.
The Priest covered his privates with his hands and put on a burst of speed, but the Rabbi covered his face instead. "What are you doing?" the Priest asked. "I don't know about you," the Rabbi answered, "but my congregants recognize me by my face."
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How to get into a girl's pants pt. 1
Wear skinny jeans
I like my women like I like my skippin' rocks
Skinny and easy to throw
I've stopped going skinny dipping since I put on a little weight
Now I've started chunky dunking.
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Why is Caitlyn Jenner so skinny?
Because the FDA just banned trans fats.
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A black guy, and a somewhat skinny white guy walk into a Subway.
Thats the end of the joke.
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What do you do to turn off s**... Jenny?
"It may not be long, but it sure is skinny"
It may not be long...
But at least its skinny!
Help! I'm a fat man trapped in a skinny body!
We were at a local restaurant waiting for a server, she finally came over and says "sorry for the wait"....
I say you look perfectly skinny to me!
A heavily pregnant woman goes into labor in a retail store.
A crowd gathers around her as people struggle to help, or at least make her comfortable.
Panicked a man looks around and asks "Is anyone here a doctor?!"
From the crowd steps a man wearing skinny jeans and a plaid shirt, with short, neat hair and a scruffy beard. "I'm a vegan!"
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What do you call a bunch of skinny people stretching in the snow?
Low-fat frozen yoga
Why are shopaholics in the UK generally very skinny?
Because they are always losing pounds.
A young child caught her parents in the bedroom last night.
The child asks,
"Mommy, what were you doing bouncing on daddy's stomach last night?"
The mother replies,
"I have to do that, or else daddy's belly gets very fat. Bouncing keeps him skinny."
"That's not going to work, you silly!" responds the child.
"Why not?" asks the mother.
"Because the babysitter keeps blowing him back up again."
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Why do Scottish men have long skinny d**...?
Because they're tight f**... wankers.
Why is it better to be fat than skinny?
Because the pros LITERALLY outweigh the cons!
An Irish Lumberjack
A large Canadian lumber camp advertised that they were looking for a good Lumberjack. The very next day, a skinny Irishman showed up at the camp with his axe, and knocked on the Foreman's door.
The Foreman took one look at the small Irishman and told him to leave. "Just give me a chance to show you what I can do," said the Irishman.
"Okay, see that giant redwood over there?" said the Foreman. "Take your axe and go cut it down."
The Irishman headed for the tree, and in five minutes he was back knocking on the Foreman's door.
"I cut the tree down," said the Irishman.
"*Holy smokes!*" Said the Formean. "Where did you get the skill to chop down trees like that?"
"In the Sahara Forest," replied the Irishman.
Confused, the Forman asked "...don't you mean the Sahara Desert?"
"Is that what they call it now?"
I overheard a super skinny girl say that she sometimes forgets to eat.
So naturally I licked her face to see if it was contagious
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Sometimes I wonder about my ex girlfriends who I haven't seen in years,
you know, like has she become all fat and bloated, or has she become disgustingly skinny; or maybe someone has already found the body.
I figured out why Tim Cook loves dongles so much!
It's because he likes long bendy things sticking out of beautiful skinny things!
What do you call a skinny woman with a yeast infection?
Flat bread
What do you call a skinny Longhorn?
A bullimic.
In an objective point of view, fat women are more attractive than skinny woman.
According to Newton, the heavier an object is, the more it attracts other objects.
eeny, meeny, kanye, flo
you come to a fork in the road. the path to the left sports a sign guaranteeing a gruesome end to all trespassers. the one to the right looks clear, except for a skinny guy with a hat who freestyles rhyming insults at you. do you risk certain doom… or chance the rapper?
Did you hear that Vince Gilligan (of Breaking Bad fame) is now working for Nickelodeon?
The first show he's signed on to do is The Adventures of Skinny Pete & Pete
What did the hairy guy say to the skinny 11 year-old?
##Yer a wizard, Harry.
What do you call a skinny fast food worker?
A new hire
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An Old Man and His Lake
An old man went down to his lake to clear brush from a recent storm. When he arrived he found 8 beautiful women skinny dipping in the water. Seeing him the women yelled "you get out of here old man. We're staying under the water until you're long gone so you don't see a thing." Quickly the old man replied "I apologize ladies. I'm not here to spy on you. I just came to feed the alligators."
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Why are guys who wear skinny jeans bad at s**...?
They can't get them off
Sure, skinny jeans make you look skinny...
Just like thin mints make you look thin.
What do you call a skinny rapper in the dark?
Slim Shady
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I was walking on the beach when I stumbled on an elderly couple skinny dipping
"At least they have a good s**... life" I thought to myself once the husband turned round
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I saw a t**... that looked EXACTLY like Gwen Stefani... with the hair, lashes, makeup, skinny pants, heels, the whole nine.
I was like, "Don't speak"
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My son was depressed because of his obesity. "Trust me," I told him, "skinny people get down too."
"Unless you're on a see-saw with them," I added.
Why did the skinny royal look thoughtful?
Because he was a thin king.
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As a boy, I used to tip cows with friends.
Now we just tip the skinny waitresses that give us b**....
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One evening an old farmer went down to the pond...
One evening an old farmer went to go down to the pond, as he hasn't been there in a while, he grabbed a five gallon bucket and some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard some voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end. One of the women shouted at him "we're not coming out until you leave!" The old man frowned, "I didn't come down here to watch you ladies swim n**... or get out of the pond n**...". Holding the bucket up he said "I'm here to feed the alligator."
I used to be skinny and attractive...
But now I'm just fat and attractive.
I've always wondered why French people seemed so skinny
But then I realized an egg is *un oeuf*
