The Best 35 You So Nasty Jokes

Following is our collection of funny You So Nasty jokes. There are some you so nasty jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these you so nasty puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest You So Nasty Jokes and Puns

Letter from 7 to 6

Dear 6,

Please stop spreading rumors about me eating 9. You shouldn't be talking. I hear you two do some pretty nasty things together.

Sincerely,
7

Stung...

A woman goes to the doctor looking fantastic: hair and makeup done by a professional, Gucci heels, Versace dress and Prada purse.

"I've been stung by a nasty insect of some kind," she tells the doctor, "...but I'm ashamed to tell you where."

"It's okay," says the doctor. "Our communication is privileged; I won't tell anyone."

"Okay," says the woman. "It was at Walmart."

One day, the President finds a nasty message scribbled with pee on the snowy White House lawn.

He orders the Secret Service to investigate. They come back a few hours later with the results.

"Mr. President, we have bad news and worse news."

"What's the bad news?"

"The urine belongs to the Vice President."

"What could possibly be worse than that?"

"The handwriting belongs to the First Lady."

There was an old professor who started every class with a vulgar joke.

After one particularly nasty example, the women in the class decided to walk out the next time he started.

The professor got wind of this plot, so the next morning he walked in and said, Good morning, class. Did you hear the one about the shortage of whores in India?

With that, all the women stood up and headed for the door.

Wait, ladies, cried the professor, The boat doesn't leave until tomorrow!

YO momma so nasty...

She pours salt water down her pants to keep the crabs fresh.


I once dated a girl named Rachel, but she turned out to be a nasty bitch. As a result, I now refuse to associate with women named Rachel

Then again, I could just be Rachel profiling

A man walks into work one morning...

A man walks into work one morning with a nasty black eye and a couple of scratches on his face. The receptionist, a young woman, notices and asks the man what happened.

"I got beat up defending my girlfriend's honor."

"Aww, that's sweet," said the receptionist, "what did your girlfriend think?"

"She couldn't believe how hard my wife could hit."

The Ballerina

This nasty, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a big hairy armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar and asks, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"

The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunk slams his hand on the bar and says, "Bartender, I want to buy that ballerina a drink!"

The bartender pours the drink and the woman chugs it down. After she's completed the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hairy armpit and saying, "What man out there will buy a lady a drink?"

Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says, "Bartender, I'd like to buy the ballerina another drink!"

After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk and states, "It's your business if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you call her a ballerina?"

The drunk replies, "Sir, in my eyes, any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!"

High school was really nasty for me. I got bullied a lot, got called names. The school eventually had to call my mom.

She just said "he's my son I'll call him whatever I want"

I told my doctor that I got a nasty reaction from applying the haemorrhoid cream he prescribed.

He asked where I had applied it.

I was on the bus.

Gimme your best Mickey Mouse/Disney character joke!

Going on a Disney Cruise and need your funniest, raunchiest or most nasty joke involving a Disney character.

You can explore you so nasty reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean you so nasty dad jokes. There are also you so nasty puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Your fetishes are nothing to be ashamed about!

Unless your fetish is being humiliated, then you should feel ashamed you nasty little pervert.

A woman goes to the doctors with a piece of lettuce sticking out the top of her underwear

The doctor says "that looks nasty", the woman replies "that's just the tip of the iceberg"

Another old Soviet joke

Three prisoners are standing in the yard at a Siberian work camp.

The first says to the second, "What are you in here for?" and the second one replies "I said something nasty about Comrade Popov in 1937. What about you?"

The first prisoner says, "I said something nice about Comrade Popov in 1938."

They both turn to the third prisoner. "And you, comrade, why are you here?" The third prisoner says, "I *am* Comrade Popov!"

Why did Vader (Anakin) finally rebelled against the Emperor?

In Episode 3, he helped carry out Order 66 to kill all Jedi.
In Episode 4, he helped carry out Order 67 to destroy Alderaan.
In Episode 5, he helped carry out Order 68 to destroy rebel base on Hoth.
In Episode 6.... the Emperor was just too old and nasty for Vader to carry out Order 69.

A blind man was walking down the street

A blind man was walking down the street with his dog.
They stopped at the corner to wait for the passing traffic.

The dog, at this point, started pissing on the mans leg. As the dog finished the man reached into his coat pocket and pulled out a doggie treat and started waving it at the dog.

A passerby saw all the events happening and was shocked. He approached the blind man and asked how he could possibly reward the dog for such a nasty deed.

The blind man replied "Oh I'm not rewarding him, I'm just trying to find his head so I can kick his fuckin' ass."

I finally managed to get rid of that nasty electrical charge I've been carrying.

I'm ex-static!

These two guys started arguing in the local gay bar...

It got really nasty and the bouncer escorted them out the door to finish their dispute where they could no longer break any more bar furniture or fixtures.

The two gay dudes went out into the parking lot where they exchanged blows.

What do Taylor Swift and Avada Kedavra have in common?

They'll leave you breathless or with a nasty scar.


Even though I don't smoke cigarettes, I exclusively date women who do...

I figure if they're willing to suck on something that nasty, they'll suck just about anything.

My mate threw a beer bottle at my head

It didn't break the skin but it left a nasty Brews

Organ donation has a nasty double standard when it comes to praise.

Some guy donates his kidney, he's praised as a hero. I donate 5, and I get arrested? Double standards smh

Don't Open The Door

The doorbell rings at Pete's place. When he opens the door, there's a large beetle standing in front of him.
The beetle pushes Peter so hard he falls and hits his head, requiring a trip to the hospital.
When Peter explains what happened to the Doctor, she says, "Ah, I'm not surprised, you're the fifth case we've had today"
"Really?" Peter says.
"Yes," the Doctor says, "There's a really nasty bug going around..."

Your fetish is nothing to be ashamed about...

Unless it's to be humiliated! Then you should be ashamed about it you nasty little bitch...

Second Opinion

A doctor and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast table. Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed either," and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty and decides to make amends and calls home.

She comes to the phone after many rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer the phone?"

She says, "I was in bed."

"In bed this early, doing what?" Shouts the doctor.

"Getting a second opinion!"

The bird flu is pretty nasty

Luckily, it's tweetable.

My buddy is a doctor. When he got a nasty cut, he insisted he'd be able to do his own stitches.

I said, "Fine, suture self."

How many Forbes writers does it take to make a good, solid tech article?

You're in for a nasty surprise -
No one knows yet. But we're keeping count.

Yo mama so nasty,

She had to cut the string off her tampon so the crabs stop hanging themselves.

Stung

A woman golfer suffers a nasty bee sting and leaves the course to go see her doctor about it. "What happened?" asked the doctor. "I got stung between the first and second hole," replied the lady golfer.

The doctor replied, "You must have an awfully wide stance!"

I've been a beekeeper for years and when my crush said "It's me or it's those nasty insects, make up your mind", at first I didn't think she was serious.

Then I saw her face.

Now I'm a bee-leaver.

Late one night, Norm answered the doorbell to find a 6 foot tall cockroach standing on the step.

The bug grabbed Norm by the collar, punched him in the eye, threw him across the living room and then ran off.

The next day, Norm went to see his doctor to have his bruised eye examined.

Ah, yes, the doctor said when Norm explained what happened. There's a nasty bug going around.

I was walking by the midget prison...

...when suddenly, all the sirens started blaring. After a minute, an escapee was rappelling down the wall while giving me a very nasty look. I thought, "Well that's a little condescending."

My wife keeps telling me to put down the toilet seat.

I don't know, though. It's never done anything nasty to me.

Never buy your hard drugs from the Roto-Rooter guy...

Plumber's crack is nasty

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the you so nasty jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working you so nasty piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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