You Smell Jokes
84 you smell jokes and hilarious you smell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you smell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest You Smell Short Jokes
Short you smell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you smell humour may include short smell jokes also.
- This girl I met on Tinder had a tattoo of a seashell on her innerthigh If you put your ear against it and listened closely, you could smell the sea.
- I happily dad joked my fiancé While on her way to work, she texted me saying she only put deodorant on one side.
To which I replied, "At least you won't smell half bad!" - I like the smell of mothballs. But it can sometimes be hard getting their little legs apart.
- Why did Dwayne 'the rock' Johnson's family get tested for COVID-19 They couldn't smell what the rock was cooking.
- I stopped showering or changing my clothes, as a precaution against COVID-19. If anybody gets within six feet of me, I know they must have lost their sense of smell.
- People shouldn't be shamed for their kinks. Me, I get really turned on when someone smells like musty sweat and coal. But I always get called a monster when I admit to being attracted to miners.
- What do a pizza delivery driver and a gynecologist have in common? They both get close enough to smell the goods but if they eat it they'll be in trouble.
- Why do some covid patients need to take a shower? Because they are starting to smell again
- If you lose your sense of smell due to Covid, here's a simple fix. Just reset to olfactory settings.
- A major difference between men and women is if a woman says "Sniff this." it usually smells nice.
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You Smell One Liners
Which you smell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you smell? I can suggest the ones about smells like and sense smell.
- New Teslas don't come with a new car smell They come with an Elon Musk.
- I like my women like I like my coffee I've never had coffee but it smells really nice
- I love the smell of my f5 key... It is very refreshing
- Why does Piglet smell so bad? Because he plays with Pooh
- What do you call a rapper that smells nice? Post Cologne
- What's blue and smells like red paint?
blue paint. - Today I got slapped for telling a girl her hair smelled nice. I hate being a dwarf.
- What's got no teeth and smells? The gearbox in the wife's car...
- ps5 candle joke PS5 smells like you are not getting one !
- What is green and smells like bacon? Kermit's fingers
- Which German city smells the nicest? Cologne
- 4 out of 5 urologists... ...smell their apple juice before they drink it.
- What does the Illuminati smell like? New World Odor
- Why did the midget get slapped? Because he told a woman how nice her hair smelled.
- Why was Donkey Kongs corpse smelling? It was beginning to DK
Hilarious Fun You Smell Jokes That Will Have You Rolling with Laughter
What funny jokes about you smell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean smell bad jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you smell pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Scotsman
A Scotsman and his wife walk past a swanky new restaurant. Did you smell that? she asked her husband. It smells absolutely incredible! Being a kind-hearted Scotsman, he thought what the h**...…I'll treat her!
So, they walked past the place again!
My wife has a tattoo of a shell on the inside of her thigh...
It's a really weird thing, when you lay your ear on it you smell the sea.
- I hope it came off right, thats an old joke they tell in my country
The Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States, wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says...
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell? Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon. "
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon... Every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like
bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath;
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree!"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
Two parrots were sitting on a perch
One says to the other... Do you smell fish?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Bacon tree
Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."
One snowman says to the other snowman,
"do you smell carrots?"
What do you smell if you (accidentally) burn a cat?
Purr-fume...
No cats were harmed in the making of this joke!
I got slapped at the club the other day
I went dancing at a local club, hoping to get a little action since it's been a while. I met this gorgeous girl and asked her to dance, a little emboldened by the alcohol. After the first song with her body so close to mine, she leans in and says "You smell good! Whatcha got on?"
I said, "Well, I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it."
A woman site down next to a man in a bar and says, "You smell good, What do you have on?"
The man says, "I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
5 penny joke
Place the first penny on the table..."Can you smell that....that's a scent."
Place the second penny...."Can you see any fruit....that's a pair"
Place the third penny...."Can you see any cars? Three Lincolns."
Place the fourth down..."Can you see any snakes? Four copperheads.
Place the fifth down..."Can you see any p**...?"
Scoop them all up..."Not for five cents you can't."
A new supermarket opened near me a few weeks ago.
They're trying a new thing: immersion! For example, when you stop by the deli you can smell fresh grass and hear cows mooing, at the fish section you smell sea salt and feel a small bit of spray on your face, and at the fruit stall you can see mist on the apples, and smell fields of oranges and pears.
I don't get toilet roll there anymore.
Now that I have quit smoking i see more and more each day how its like an old relationship...
You smell her perfume, see her out with another man
and all you can think of is the good times and
not how she took part of your life away.
I was on a date and she said you smell nice, what have you got on?
I said I've got a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it..
You know if you smell feet and your nose is running
Then you just might be upside down
Two dyslexic kids
Two dyslexic kids were sitting on a sofa. One asks the other "can you smell gas?" The other replies "Seriously dude? I can't even smell my own name".
A man and a woman were sitting next to each other in bar.
They were having a casual conversation when she suddenly leaned over and asked him, "You smell amazing, what do you have on?"
The man smiled an impish grin and replied, "I have a hard-on but I didn't know you could smell it!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dogs are sitting in a field.
First dog turns to the second dog and says d**... man you smell like s**...! Have you been rolling in s**...?
Yep.
Wow. That is foul. Is it like a compulsive behavior?
Nope.
Do you do it to cover your scent up, like to ward off predators?
Nope.
Is it some weird f**... that gets you off?
Nope.
Then why would you roll in such pungent p**...!?
So I can sit in peace and not be bothered. Figures it wouldn't work on a German Shepherd
The smell of rain
Every loves the smell of rain. So fresh, so clean. But in actuality you can't actually smell rain. What you smell is the world around you.
Way back in the day humans used to have to actually hunt their food. So if you were chasing down a deer and it started to rain you could easily lose the scent. So humans evolved to smell better in the rain.
And that is why your farts smell worse in the shower.
How do you smell once you get of bed?
Like sheet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's it called when you make sure you smell real good before getting a camera shoved up your bbutt?
Cologne-oscopy
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dyslexics are sitting in a room
One says Can you smell gas?
The other replies Smell gas?! I can't even smell my own name!
How to freak her out
I love walking up to women I barely know, hug them and sniff loudly followed by me saying, "You smell so much better when you are awake."
*sniff...sniff* Guy: "Honey! Do you smell that?"
Girl: "No babe."
Guy: "Yeah me neither, start cooking."
Darling, do you smell anything?
SO: no?
Me: me neither. Start cooking.....
Wow you smell nice today Jim, what did you put on?
Clean underwear
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Sitting at a bar and a friend leans quite close to me as she get up to go to the washroom. Jees, Bill you smell good. What have you go on?
Actually, I have a hard on but I didn't know you could smell it!
My Crush and I on our first date, and this happens:
He: You smell good!
Me, being the nervous fool I am: Thanks, *I use both my nostrils. *
Why is a dog man's best friend and not a wife?
Because the later you come home, the more excited the dog gets to see you.
Because if you smell like another women, the dog gets curious.
Don't believe me? Lock the dog and the wife in the garage for an hour and see for yourself.
Post your pickup lines. I'll start: Girl, you smell like....
Girl, you smell like an encouraging note my 3rd grade teacher wrote with a purple gelpen in the front of my Goosebumps book! Can I get your number?
The wife asked, "why do you smell like vanilla?"
I don't know, the stripper smelled like orange.
AXE products claim if you smell good, women will be all over you, but that can't be right
I've never had any problems with my nose and I'm still single.
Being a janitor doesn't leave you smelling great
It adds a whole new meaning to eau de toilette
What does an Italian say to you when they suddenly realize you smell bad?
EUREKA!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Daam gurl r you a Christmas tree?
'Cause you never leave.
And you smell.
have you smelled my new seeded aftershave?
The birds love it.
So I was at my local dyslexia meeting...
And my friend turned to me and said, "can you smell gas?"
I replied, "are you kidding? I can't even smell my own name."
A woman walks up to a man at the bar...
A woman walks up to a man at the bar and says "You smell lovely, what do you have on?" he replies " I have a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell that."
What's step one to wooing a geologist?
Make sure you smell gneiss
What does the rock say when he goes down on his woman?
IF YOU SMELLALALALALA
Do you smell gas?
A plumber and his apprentice are working on a house when the plumber turns and says
"do you smell gas?"
The apprentice replies - "no, I can't even smell my own name"
You know its a bad lbm when.
You smell the sound.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
s**... random OC
Yesterday as usual we brushed our teeth and I kissed my wife good night. After the kiss..
Wife: Are you an ox?
Me: What?
Wife: You smell "Oxy" Clean
:|
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
if you smell rat among yourselves..
that's because you can smell yourself
What's the easiest way to get to Texas from Tenessee?
Go west till you smell it.
And south till you step in it.
Hear about the dyslexic chefs?
One said " can you smell gas?"
"Very funny" said the other,
"You know I can't even smell my own name!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
If you smell burnt toast, you may be having a s**......
But if you also smell bacon then you're probably having breakfast.
Was out a drive with my dyslexic mate...
I notice there's something not right.
"Can you smell petrol?" I say
"Smell petrol?! I can't even smell my name"
9 Clowns in an elevator, one of them silently farts.
One leans over to another and wispers..."You smell something funny?".
A snowman tells another snowman.
Snowman 1: Guess what?
Snowman 2: What?
Snowman 1: You smell like carrots
ps. not sure if this joke has been posted before
Two mexicans are walking in a desert....
and are extremely thirsty and hungry, and are out of food and water. As they continue on their journey to reach their homeland, Carlos says to Juan in broken english, "I don't think we es going to make it, Juan." Juan replies, "We must keep trying Carlos, we es got no choice."
As Carlos and Juan approach a big hill of sand in the desert, Carlos immediately smells bacon. "Juan!!! You smell that? Smells like.... Bacon!!!!" Carlos replies reluctantly, "How could you just, smell bacon out here? Make no sense Juan." Juan replies, "Es a bacon tree! I can tell!" Carlos replies, "No Juan, es a mirage!! Es messing with your mind!"
Juan would not listen. "Ok Carlos, your choice." Juan proceeded to climb the hill, while Carlos waited down at the bottom for him, knowing that this was way to good to be true.
As Juan disappeared from Carlos's view, Carlos heard many gunshots. Terrified and confused, he didn't know what to do. Slowly, he saw Juan climb, with gunshot wounds, over the edge of the hill. "Carlos, don't go up there!!"
"Es no bacon tree." "Es a.... Es a hambush."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Two dyslectic fellas sat in the kitchen...
Fella 1: "Ere, can you smell gas?"
Fella 2: "Who me? No... I can't even smell my own name!"
What did the Lesbian say to the Fish?
You smell familiar.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call it when you smell your own f**...?
A smellfie.
The Mole family
Sorry if it's a repost... There are too many jokes to check them all.
So here goes..
Early one morning, mama mole woke and thought "I smell pancakes and syrup." So she climbed up the tunnel and stuck her nose out of the mole hole to enjoy the aroma. Papa mole followed and squeezed next to her. Baby mole went up too but was stopped because mama and papa left no room. He started crying. Mama mole "What's the matter, can't you smell the syrup?". Baby mole said "No, I can only smell molasses."
Pick up line
Mmm baby, you smell like my favorite hotel lotion..
Why can't you smell Bran (spoilers)
He's hodorless
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Girl, are you some good w**...?
because you smell dank.
World's Best Vacuum Cleaner
A young man knocks on a residential door and an elderly lady answers, the young man says "hello maam, I'm here to show you the world's best vacuum cleaner!", she responds "sorry but I'm not interested and I have no money" as she tries to close the door.
Of course the young man puts his foot in the door and says "Maam, I'm so confident that this is the World's Best Vacuum Cleaner that I'll eat what's in this bag if you smell anything after this vacuum cleans and deodorizes your carpet!" He then takes a small bag of horse manure and dumps it right on her carpet in front of her.
She starts walking away to the back of the house and he says "where are you going maam, don't you want to see the world's best vacuum cleaner in action?", she replies "I'm going to get you some silverware from the kitchen because my power was turned off last week".
Can you smell what Ba-rack is cooking tonight??
Barackolli
so I heard The Rock was cooking...
can you smell it?
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Gee, you smell nice!
Every day a male co-worker walks up very close to a lady at the coffee machine, inhales a big breath of air and tells her that her hair smells nice. After a week of this she can't stand it anymore, takes her complaint to a Supervisor in the personnel department and asks to file a s**... harassment grievance against him.
The Human Resources supervisor is puzzled, and asks: What's threatening about a co-worker telling you your hair smells nice?
The woman replies: It's Frank, the midget.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A Tale of 3 moles
There once was three moles, a mama mole, a daddy mole and a baby mole. They all lived in a mole hole, together.
One day the daddy mole smelled a wonderful smell coming from outside the mole hole.
Daddy mole went and poked his little head out of the mole hole. He thought to himself, " wow, that smells like cherry's."
He called over mama mole to see what she smelled. Mama mole poked her head out of the mole hole, with daddy mole.
Daddy mole asked her, "Well, what do you smell?"
Mama mole said, "I smell strawberries."
Daddy mole not being stratified, with her answer wanted a second opinion.
He called over baby mole, but baby mole was too small to poke his head out with the other. He kept jumping up and down only getting about as high as mama mole and daddy moles butts.
Daddy mole than ask baby mole, "What do you smell?"
Baby mole responded, "Well, all I smell is mole-a**...."
Mole family and farmer Davis
There was a mole family on a farm, they had a mole hole. The farm belonged to Farmer Davis.
One day Farmer Davis decided to cook some chicken, so he starts a cookin.
Papa mole could smell some chicken and thought it smelled so good, so he scurried on up the mole hole and say at the entrance and whiffed!
"It's so good" he exclaimed.
He called his wife , Mama mole to come smell it too.
She then scurried up the mole hole next to papa mole and smelled the chicken.
"It IS so good" said mama mole.
Papa mole then called to their child, baby mole to come and smell the chicken.
Baby mole made his way over to the hole but couldn't get up to the entrance since mama and papa mole were blocking the way.
He was scampering around trying to smell the chicken and getting frustrated, finally papa mole called down asking "can you smell the chicken?" .
Baby mole then replied in a heat "No, all I can smell is Molasses!"
The Captains Wife
The crew of a US navy battle ship was back home after many months of being out to sea. To celebrate, the captain of the ship organized a formal ball and the entire crew was there in thier unforms. The big band was playing and the sailors were hitting the bar and drinking hard as they admired the Captains beautiful wife sitting at the head table with the captain himself.
One of the drunken sailors spoke up, "Im gonna ask the capins wife ta dance wit me!" The other sailors just laughed at him as he swaggered on down to the captains table. Sailor says, "Hey Capin, may I dansh wit your wife?" The captain, having been drinking himself, nodded the OK.
Stunned, the other sailors watched as their lowly shipmate and the captains wife engaged in a slow dance. The sailor having been out to sea for several months was very happy to be dancing with this beautiful woman.
After a few minutes of dancing the captains wife speaks up and says, "My, but you smell very nice. What do you have on?" The sailor speaks into her ear and says, " I have a hard on, but I didn't think you could smell it."
So there's a family of rabbits on the side of the road...
Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Rabbit.
They're hopping across and BAM, a truck runs over Mommy and Daddy, but Baby makes it across.
Back on the other side, there's a family of skunks. Mommy, Daddy, and Baby Skunk.
They go waddling across the road and BAM, a truck runs offer Mommy and Daddy, but Baby makes it across.
So Baby Rabbit and Baby Skunk are sitting there on the side of the road.
The rabbit starts crying. The skunk asks him what's wrong, and the rabbit says "Well, my parents are dead and I'm all alone. I don't know where I'm going, I don't remember where I'm from, I don't even know what I am!"
The skunk looks him over and says "Well, let's see, you've got floppy ears and a cotton tail and hop when you walk, you must be a rabbit!"
The rabbit feels his ears, looks at his tail, takes a hop, and says "You're right, I'm a rabbit. I feel better!"
So they sit there a little longer, but the the skunk starts crying. The rabbit asks him what's wrong, and he says, "Well, my parents are dead too! I'm all alone, I don't know where I'm going, I don't remember where I'm from, I don't even know what I am, either!"
The rabbit looks him over and says, "Well...
You're not white and you're not black, and you smell kinda bad,
You must be a Mexican!"
two men were walking thier dogs...
Two men, tom and bob were walking their dogs when they smell a delicious scent. "You smell that?" tom asked. Bob replied, "the heck I do, let's find where it's coming from! . After 5 minutes of searching, the scent led them to a restaurant. Tom said "let's get something to eat!" they both were hungry but bob reminded him that they couldn't enter with their dogs! so tom said "it's cool, follow my lead!" he puts on shades and is stopped at the door "no dogs allowed sir!" tom insisted "oh it's my seeing eye dog let me in" "it is? But that's a dachshund !"
"Yes they're using them now because of their amazing sense of smell"
"Very well come in." bob puts on shades and also stopped before entering
"No dogs allowed sir!" the waiter heckled.
"Oh please forgive me, it's my seeing eye dog" bob apologized.
"A chihuahua?!!!" the waiter shouted
"what??? THEY GAVE ME A CHIHUAHUA!?!?!?!?!?!?!"
There Once Lived A Family of Moles on a Hill.
On morning Papa Mole woke up and walked to the entrance of the burrow. He was greeted with the most beautiful morning he had ever seen. The sunrise shone brightly and scents of spring wafted through the air.
"This is amazing!" Papa exclaimed "Ma! Come and see this! The morning's beautiful and I smell... I think I smell pancakes! With syrup and blueberry!
So Ma Mole comes out into the doorway and says, "You're right! I can smell... Eggs! Eggs and Bacon with crispy toast! Junior, you must smell this!"
So Junior gets up and tries to squeeze between the two big moles. He tries and tries, but finds himself wedged between their backsides.
"Junior!" Ma says, "What do you smell?"
"I don't know" he replies, "All I can smell is molasses!"
Crossing the street
A momma duck and her baby are waiting to cross a street with a momma skunk and her baby.
The mother duck offers to walk out first, to make sure the street is safe to cross. Not half-way across, she is hit by a car,and dies.
"Oh no!" says the baby duck, "My mommy died! I don't know who I am anymore..."
The mother skunk looks at him and says "Well, you look like a duck, sound like a duck, and smell like a duck. So, you must be a duck!"
Then the mother skunk offers to walk out into the street to make sure it's safe. Just like the duck, she is killed about half-way across.
The baby skunk says "Oh no! My mommy died! I don't know who I am anymore..."
The baby duck looks at him and says "Well, you're not white, you're not black, and you smell kind of funny. So, you must be a Mexican."
Bacon Tree
Two Mexicans are stuck in the desert after crossing into the United States , wandering aimlessly and starving. They are about to just lie down and wait for death, when all of a sudden Luis says.........
"Hey Pepe, do you smell what I smell. Ees bacon, I theenk."
"Si, Luis, eet sure smells like bacon."
With renewed hope they struggle up the next sand dune, & there, in the distance, is a tree loaded with bacon.
There's raw bacon, there's fried bacon, back bacon, double smoked bacon .. every imaginable kind of cured pork.
"Pepe, Pepe, we ees saved. Ees a bacon tree."
"Luis, maybe ees a meerage ? We ees in the desert don't forget."
"Pepe, since when deed you ever hear of a meerage that smell like bacon...ees no meerage, ees a bacon tree."
And with that, Luis staggers towards the tree. He gets to within 5 metres, Pepe crawling close behind, when suddenly a machine gun opens up, and Luis drops like a wet sock. Mortally wounded, he warns Pepe with his dying breath,
"Pepe... go back man, you was right, ees not a bacon tree !"
"Luis, Luis mi amigo... what ees it ? "
"Pepe.. ees not a bacon tree. Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees
Ees a ham bush...."
