The Best 35 You Re So Smart Jokes

Following is our collection of funny You Re So Smart jokes. There are some you re so smart jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these you re so smart puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest You Re So Smart Jokes and Puns

A boy is studying for his geography quiz

His mom asks him:

"What is the capital of Germany?"

"Berlin", says the boy.

"What is the capital of France?"

"Berlin."

"What is the capital of Russia?"

"Berlin."

"You're so smart, Adolf, I know you'll do great on your quiz."

So aliens flew by our planet recently and one asked the other...

Alien 1 How advanced is that civilization?

Alien 2 They have discovered nuclear technology.

Alien 1 Oh boy... That's pretty intelligent. We better keep our distance then from their missles.

Alien 2 Nah, they're not that smart yet. They have em pointed at themselves.

Jewish Judge

Taking his seat in his chambers, the smart, HONEST Jewish Judge faced the opposing lawyers.

"So, the Judge said, I have been presented, by both of you, with a bribe."

Both lawyers became uncomfortable.

" You, attorney John, gave me $ 50,000 and you, attorney Sam, gave me $ 60,000."

The judge now reached into his pocket and pulled out $ 10,000, He handed it to attorney Sam and said...

"Now that I'm returning $ 10,000, we're going to decide this case solely on its merits.

How many sheep?

A blonde woman is tired of people assuming she's stupid and dyes her hair red. Feeling empowered, she goes for a car ride down a country road. Soon she sees a farm with hundreds of sheep. She walks up to the owner of the farm and makes this proposal: "These sheep are adorable, if I guess how many there are, can I keep one?" The farmer agrees, surely out of all the sheep this woman can't guess the number exactly. She looks around and replies "There are 593 sheep" The farmer is awe-struck, the number was exactly right. So the woman picks her sheep and is getting back in the car when the farmer runs up to her and yells "WAIT! If I can guess your natural color can I have him back?" The woman smiles and agrees, she already proved she's too smart to be called a blonde. The farmer replies "you're a blonde, now can I have my dog back?"

Last year, kids were eating tide pods. This year, they're getting vaccines and picking up trash.

Seems that eating tide pods makes you smart!


A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...

A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.

Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."

The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.

The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."

Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"

Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."

3 blonde girls is at the side of a river

And they're trying to get to the village on the other side

1 blond girl ask god to make her smart,so god turn her into a brunette and she swims across the river

the other girl ask god to make her smarter than the girl that just swam,so god make her into a redhead and she built a raft and paddle across

The last girl ask god to make her smarter than the other two girls,so god make her a man and he uses the bridge

Smart pills

One day two boys were walking through the woods when they saw some rabbit turds. One of the boys said, ''What is that?''
''They're smart pills,'' said the other boy. ''Eat them and they'll make you smarter.
So he ate them and said, ''These taste like crap.''
''See,'' said the other boy, ''you're getting smarter already.''

What do turtles say to themselves to calm down?

My 7 yr old: dad, I made up a joke and it's really funny.
Me: ok hit me.
Her: what do turtles say to themselves to calm down?
Me: mmm I dunno, what?
Her: in through your nose, out through your butt.
Me: …
Her: …
Me: …
Her: turtles breathe through their butts, dad.
Me: oh! Haha nice one. Wow. You're smart.

A farmer bragged to his friend about his smart chickens

"How do you know they're smart?"

"They love classical music! That's smarty-pants music right there."

"And how do you know that's what they like?"

"Every morning, I say to the chickens 'What music for today?' and they ask for their favorite composer: 'Bach, Bach, Bach!'"

What's the difference between a smart white guy and someone who tells jokes all the time?

Nothing. They're both wisecrackers.

You can explore you re so smart reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean you re so smart dad jokes. There are also you re so smart puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Ever have sex with a girl only to realize they're completely insane?

For example, last week I hooked up with this cute red-head . She was smart, sexy, bit of a lisp. Everything seemed normal, but the second we got finished she started going on about how she was the Norse god of thunder.

If someone gave you $200 because you're ugly , would you take the money?

Me: Absolutely! I'm ugly, not stupid.

Not a proper joke but it was the smart answer that made me giggle.

"You're so funny, kind, and beautiful." "Oh come on, you're just saying that so I will sleep with you."

"And you're smart too!"

A boy thinks his English teacher is attractive

One day after school he finally works up the courage to tell her how he feels. "Ms. Smith you're smart and beautiful, can I have sex with you?" The teacher responds, "I don't know, may you have sex with me?"

Why do fish make you smart?

Because they're always in schools.

Why are entomologists so book-smart?

Because they're aphid readers.

My buddy and I have a picture of the Islamic God on the smart card inside our mobile phones.

We're very SIM Allah.

If you're wrong and you stay silent, you're smart.

If you're right and you stay silent, you're married.


Two boys are walking through the woods and one of them gets an idea of a funny prank.

He picks up some rabbit turds and after a few minutes of walking, stops, and says, "want some smart-pills?" The other boy said "sure" takes a couple, and swallows them whole.

"I don't feel any smarter."
"Take a couple more." And he does.
Moments later, eyes coming to realization,"Say, if I didn't know any better, I'd say those were rabbit turds."
"Now you're getting smarter."

Why are stair builders so smart?

They're always one step ahead.

Doctor told his patient he has 2 months to live.

So he killed his doctor and the judge gave him 20 years.

Can't survive in Lagos if you're not smart.

The Halloween costume

A guy dressed in regular street clothes walks into a bar on Halloween and orders a beer. "I'm here for the costume party," he tells the bartender. The bartender looks him up and down, taking in his ordinary clothing and no makeup or wig. "What are you supposed to be?" the bartender asks. "I'm a werewolf," the guy replies. "How's that? You're not dressed up at all," the bartender says. "Well, it's not a full moon tonight, now is it Mr. Smart Guy?" the guy replies.

I think gays are pretty much all smart people.

They're a homo genius group.

LPT: When handing money over, give the change first and then the bills

because if you are working as a cashier you're probably not smart enough to know this on your own.

Im so smart for thinking of this

One guy says to another: Hey, did you know, there's a Middle Eastern country on the Mediterranean Sea, and it's regarded by Jews, Christians and Muslims as the biblical Holy Land!

The other guy says: I don't believe you, you're talking rubbish.

So the first guy says: No, it isreal!

If you are strong, brave, smart and very sexy, go home. You're drunk.

Horses are really smart but they're terrible philosophy students...

You can't put Descartes before the horse.

Two smart jokes

What does a scientist call it when they're A/B testing and they find a third variable?
An emergent C

What element do British people like early in the morning?
Strong-tea-um

A joke my dad told me many years ago when I was young.

Me: Dad, why are some guys bald in the front and some on the back of their heads?

Dad: They're caused by different things. You see, people who are bald on their foreheads are thinkers. And people who are bald on the back of their heads means that they're really smart.

Me: What about those guys who are bald in both sides?

Dad: It means: they think that they're smart.

So there are two kinds of people. Hot people and smart people.

So my friend is like:"You think I'm ugly?"
I said:"No, You're the hottest chick in school."

Ants

"We're on a roll!" said the worker ant.

"No, this is a donut." corrected the smart-ass ant.

Why do doctors slap babies' butts right after they're born? To knock the penises off the smart ones.

Q: What’s the difference between a smart blonde and a unicorn?
A: Nothing, they're both fictional characters.

GF: You're always on your phone, why do you not pay attention to me anymore!

BF: Maybe because my phone is smart and it actually reacts when I finger it.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the you re so smart jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working you re so smart piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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