The Best 9 You Re So Old Birthday Jokes

Following is our collection of funny You Re So Old Birthday jokes. There are some you re so old birthday jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these you re so old birthday puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest You Re So Old Birthday Jokes and Puns

My girlfriend is turning 32 years old...I've told her not to get her hopes up.

After all..we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."

"thirty-second birthday."

Ray has just reached his 110th birthday. A reporter comes to his birthday party and says, Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to be so old? Ray replies, It's easy. The secret is never to argue with anyone.

The reporter is not impressed. That's insane! he says. It has to be something else – diet, meditation, or 'something.' Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 110 years! Ray looks at the reporter and says, Y'know, maybe you're right.

"I'm 29 years old today..."

"I'm 29 years old today," said Ralph, setting a box of donuts on the table in the office. His coworkers all wished him a happy birthday.

Next day, Ralph's secretary answers the phone...

"Hello, my name is Carl. I'm Ralph's brother in law, and I'd like to wish Ralph a happy birthday," says the man on the line.

"Birthday? You're a day late. He just told us yesterday he turned 29."

"No," says Carl. "He *was* 29 yesterday. *Today* he's 30."

(based on a true story)

You know you're old...

When your birthday candles cost more than the cake.

An old, hoary pirate was having a birthday party.

Someone asked him, "I'd guess you're turning 79, is that right?"
The pirate replied, "Aye matey"


You know you're getting old when...

By the time you've lit the last candle on the birthday cake, the first one has burned out.

An old man wants to get life insurance

The employee working at the insurance company asks:

'How old are you, sir?'

'I'm 102.'

'102?! And you wanna get life insurance at *your* age? You know what? Come back tomorrow.'

'Tomorrow ain't good. We'll be celebrating my dad's birthday.'

'Your dad's birthday?! How old is he?'

'He's 139.'

'Okay, come back next week then.'

'Next week is definitely a bad time for me. We're gonna have a week-long party for my grandfather's wedding.'

'Your grandfather's weddig?! How old is he?'

'He's 164.'

'And he wants to get married at *his* age?'

'Nah, he doesn't, it's just that his parents are forcing him...'

Happy Birthday! You're now living proof of the old saying that "

Boys will be boys, and so will a lot of middle-aged men."

You know you're getting old when you have more candles on your cake than friends at your birthday party.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the you re so old birthday jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working you re so old birthday piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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