The Best 35 You Re So Mexican Jokes

Following is our collection of funny You Re So Mexican jokes. There are some you re so mexican jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these you re so mexican puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest You Re So Mexican Jokes and Puns

U.S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans rowing towards Texas. The Captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts:

Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and shouts, "Gringo, we are invading the United States of
America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800's."

The entire crew on the destroyer doubles over in laughter.

When the Captain finally catches his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last 4. The other 20 million are already there.

A Mexican attempts to pass the border

A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."

The Mexican replied, "Scissors."

The border control officer replied,"Dammit! Well, you're free to go!"

What do fat women and Bricks have in common?

They're both eventually laid by Mexicans

How many Mexicans does it take to build a...

Never mind, they're already done, and they paid for it too.

Why aren't Mexicans ever indecisive?

Because if they're on the fence too long they get caught.


A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...

The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"

One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."

The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"

The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"

The Lawyer and the Mexican

A lawyer and a Mexican live next to eachother in the most cookie-cutter neighborhood you can imagine.
One day, they're both mowing the frontlawn. The Mexican says:

"You know, my house is worth more than yours."

The lawyer is confused. He responds:

"How? Our houses are identical. Did you renovate the interior?"

"No."

"Did you modernize the kitchen or the bathroom?"

"I didn't."

"Then how can your house be worth more than mine?!", the lawyer cries.

"Well, I live next to a lawyer, and you live next to a Mexican."

A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat...

A guy walks into a Mexican restaurant and takes a seat.

Before he gets to order a his food, the bowl of tortilla chips in front of him says "Hey, you're a handsome fellow."

The man tries to ignore the chips and orders a margarita.

The chips say, "Ooooh that drink is delicious. Great choice. You're a very smart man."

Starting to freak out, the guy screams to the waiter, "Hey what the heck, this bowl of chips keeps saying nice things to me!!"

Waiter says, "Don't worry about it, the tortilla chips are complimentary."

Two out-of-work Mexicans knock on a rich guy's door - looking for odd jobs

The rich guy feels for them, so he says, "I'll give you 100 bucks to go out back and paint my porch."

The Mexicans can't believe their luck - and agree. The rich guy gives them a few gallons of paint and some brushes.

About an hour later, they knock on the door. The guy answers, and the Mexicans tell him they are done. He says, "I can't believe you're done so fast. That should have taken at least 5 hours."

One of the Mexicans says, "We are done, Senor. But I have to tell you - that wasn't no porch. That was a Mercedes."

Two mexicans are stranded in the desert for days....

... and they're at death's door....

They stumble on, hoping for salvation in the form of an oasis or something, they suddenly spy through the heat haze a tree off in the distance.

As they get closer, they can see that the tree is draped with strip after strip of bacon. There's smoked bacon, crispy bacon, life-giving juicy nearly- raw bacon, all sorts.

"Hey, Pepe" says the first hombre. "ees a bacon tree!!! We're saved!!!"

"You're right, amigo!" says Pepe.

So Pepe goes on ahead and runs up to the tree salivating at the prospect of food. But as he gets to within five feet of the tree there's the sound of machine gun fire, and he is shot down in a hail of bullets.

His friend quickly drops down on the sand, and calls across to the dying Pepe. "Pepe!! Pepe!! Que pasa hombre?"

With his dying breath Pepe calls out.... "Ugh, run,amigo, run!! ees not a Bacon Tree".......

"ees... a.... Hambush"

A Mexican lying on his death bed

The sick Mexican was lying on his death bed. He had only hours to live when suddenly he smelled tamales. He loved tamales more than anything else in the world, especially his wife's tamales.
With every last bit of energy left in his body, the sick Mexican pulled himself out of bed, across the floor, down the hall, and into the kitchen. He saw that his wife was removing a fresh batch of tamales from the stove top. As he reached for one of the freshly made tamales, his wife smacked him in with a wooden spoon.

"Leave them alone, cabron, they're for the funeral."

You can explore you re so mexican reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean you re so mexican dad jokes. There are also you re so mexican puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


The Bacon tree

Two Mexican brothers are lost in the desert.
They're hungry and thirsty, and have been walking for miles on end.
Suddenly, Jose yells at his brother. "Brother! Do you smell that? It smells like bacon!"
He rushes ahead, and sure enough, over the next dune, he sees it. A bacon tree. Glorious strips of crispy bacon, glistening in the sun, waiting to be eaten.
Jose runs head long at the tree, just as his brother climbs the dune behind him. Suddenly two machine guns pop out of the bacon tree and cut him down!
He turns to his brother, and with his last breath he yells out
"Brother! Is not a Bacon Tree!"
"Is..."
"Is a..."
"Is a Hambush..."

A joke I heard some time ago

A texan man is driving over the Mexican border with his family. The border guard looks out his booth and notices the jam-packed pickup truck with trailer.
Raising an eyebrow he asks the man: "Planning a longer stay, sir?"
"We're emigrating." the man replies.
Visibly surprised the guard asks: "Why's that?"
The man responds: "Thirty years ago homosexuality was despised. Twenty years ago it became tolerated. Ten ago it was widely accepted. This year it became equal. We're leaving before it becomes mandatory."

What do a three paragraph term paper and a 5'2" Mexican have in common?

They're both short essays.

Mexicans were asked what they thought of Trump's border wall. They replied, "we're very upset...

...but we'll get over it."

My Mexican uncle takes anti anxiety pills.

They're to stop Hispanic attacks

How many Mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

...oh, wait. They're done

All neighborhoods are predominantly Mexican.

Until they're done being built.

Why are there no Mexican teams in the olympics?

If a mexican can run, jump or swim, they're in the US.


Mary and Sue are discussing good-looking boys in their high school.

Mary asks "Have you seen that new Mexican kid Amal Garcia?"

"Garcia?" Sue responds. "No, but I think I've seen his brother Juan"

Mary replies "They're identical twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal!"

A Mexican man is in line at the immigration office...

and the judge is tired from a long day. Flustered, the judge yells out, "If you can put these three words into an english sentence you're a citizen and we can all go home: 'pink', 'green', and 'yellow'!"

The man thinks for a second and responds, "I think I have it, SeΓ±or. The phone goes 'green', I 'pink' it up, and say, 'yellow'"!

A Mexican dock worker is loading a ship...

A Mexican dock worker is loading a boat with a shipment of French cuisine, when his boss happens to walk by. The boss asks, "hey, what's that you're loading over there?"

The dock worker replies, "Es cargo."

Hey, did you hear about the Mexican-Indian twins that just moved in next door?

They're identical too! Once you've seen Juan, you've seen Jamal.

How long does it take to for Mexicans to do a job?

Oh, wait… they're done.

How many Mexicans does it take to build a...

Oh wow they're done already!

Two Mexicans are making an attempt to cross the U.S. border.

A border patrol agent spots them and yells out, "HEY, what do you think you're doing??"

One responds, "We're invading America!"

The agent says, "Just the two of you???"

"No, we're the last two. The rest are already there!"

-Props to John Cleese

Well, this is awkward...

A priest and a Rabbi walk into a bar. They both look left and right and to their surprise see nothing but Mexicans. After this moment of confusion, the Rabbi turns to the priest and says "You know what? I think we're in the wrong joke...."

Why Mexicans are freezing in the hot summer?

Because they're surrounded by ICE.

It's always good to know Jesus loves you

Unless you're in a Mexican prison that is.

A Mexican,American,and Italian

There's a Mexican an American and Italian.They're flying on a plane which is about to crash.Each one have to throw something out or the plane will crash.The mexican goes:"ill throw out all these tacos,there's plenty from were i come from next goes the italian and says:"ill throw out all these pizzas they're plenty from were i come from and finaly the amercian goes:ill throw out the mexican they're plenty of these were i come from

A mexican boy in english class...

A mexican boy in english class passed a note to his friend. The teacher saw it, and screeched "WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING?"

To which he replied, "writing an esΓ©"

An Italian, a Mexican and an American are all on a boat...

The captain runs out yelling we're sinking we're sinking!! Everyone needs to throw something off the boat! The Italian says "We have too many of these in our country" and throws over pots of spaghetti . Mexican says "we have too many of these in country" and throws burritos over board. Finally the American says "We have too many of these in our country." Then he picks up the Mexican and throws him overboard.

Good ol' fashions racism.

How long does it take a group of Mexicans to,

oh wow they're already done.

In Colorado you're American

In Juarez you're a Mexican.
In the bathroom European.

My dad told me: Never say you can't. You're an AmeriCAN

Not a MexiCan. My dad was a racist.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the you re so mexican jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working you re so mexican piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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