The Best 35 You Re So Fat Jokes

Following is our collection of funny You Re So Fat jokes. There are some you re so fat jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these you re so fat puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest You Re So Fat Jokes and Puns

Don't make fun of fat people with lisps...

They're thick and tired of it

A woman threatens her boyfriend

A woman threatens her boyfriend :

"If you won't stop telling me that I'm fat, I'm going to leave you !"

- "Don't do this darling ! Think about our child !" says the boyfriend, trying to convince her to stay.

- "But we **don't** have any child !" eructs the woman.

- "Wait, what ? You're not 8 months pregnant ?"

I said to a fat girl today...

I said to a fat girl today,

"You're a big girl!"

She replied, "Tell me something I don't know."

I said, "Salad tastes nice"

How I lost my Teeth

I was in my local pub last night enjoying a nice cold pint of beer, when this butt ugly fat bird came up to me and slapped me in the back, and said how about giving me your number handsome

I looked at her and asked Do you have a pen sure! She said.

So I said, Well you better get back in it before the farmer notices you're missing!

My dental surgery is this Friday!.

Wife: "Honey, I think you're a little to harsh to one of our kids."

Husband: "Who do you mean? John, Michael or the fat one?"


"Honey, you're not really nice to your son"

"Which one do you mean? Steve, John or the fat one?"

Don't get mad at people who call you fat

You're bigger than that

"You should date black guys"...

...How girls tell each other they're fat.

My girlfriend said "Can you compliment me for once?"

She's rather overweight so I said "Don't be sad when people call you fat, you're bigger than that."

What do fat women and Bricks have in common?

They're both eventually laid by Mexicans

I went to the doctor today. He told me I was fat.

I said I wanted a second opinion. He says, Okay, you're ugly.

You can explore you re so fat reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean you re so fat dad jokes. There are also you re so fat puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


My doctor called me fat.

I told him I wanted a second opinion and he said:

OK, you're ugly too.

As your doctor, I'm going to be honest with you.

You're fat.

I won't sugarcoat it because then you'll eat that too.

I was standing at the bar one night minding my own business.

This FAT ugly chick came up behind me, grabbed my behind and said,
"You're kinda cute. You gotta phone number?"
I said, "Yeah, you gotta pen?"
She said, "Yeah, I got a pen".
I said, "You better get back in it before the farmer misses you."

If someone calls you fat, ignore them

You're bigger than that

So was at a bar last night and saw this fat chick wearing a shirt that said, "caution, I'm a maneater".

I walked up to the girl and timidly said, "excuse me, Miss... about your shirt"

She interrupted me before I could continue and furiously shouted; "Oh let me guess, you're here to make a comment about how I'm so fat and how I actually eat men.. I can't help my weight you know. I have feelings too and your comments can really hurt."

I looked at her, confused and said; "That's actually not what I was going to say at all."

"Oh.." she replied as a smile started to come across her face. "What were you going to say?"

"That's not how you spell manatee."

A basic rule of comedy is that if you possess a trait, you can joke about it. Like if you're fat, you can joke about fat people. If you're black, you can joke about black people

So, a 25-year old virgin walks into a bar..

If someone says you're fat, just ignore them.

You're bigger than that!

If people call you fat, just ignore them

You're bigger than that.


You're not fat. You're just...

easier to see!

I was staying in a hotel last night. Before I went to bed, I phoned down to reception.

Hi, this is room 317. Can I have a wake-up call, please?

The receptionist replied, Yes. You're fat, in your 40β€²s and given you're staying in such a cheap hotel probably haven't achieved much in your life.

Momma said life is like a box of chocolates...

If you're fat it's not gonna last as long :/

Momma always said life was like a box of chocolates...

... if you're fat, it won't last long.

Running away doesn't help you with your problems

Unless you're fat. Then yeah, run.

I went up to this fat bird in the pub last night...

"You're a big lass, aren't you?" I said.

"Tell me something I don't know," she replied with a tear in her eye.

"Salad tastes nice."

Stop making jokes about how fat and disgusting Amy Schumer is.

You're stealing her material.

Yo mamma so fat...

When you download a picture of her at work, the IT department thinks they're under a DDoS attack.

The Promotion

I came home from work last night and told my wife that I've been given a huge promotion at work which means I get my own office and I get to employ my own private secretary.

"Well, you'd better hire someone who's a bit old, fat and ugly" she said "I don't want you choosing someone who you're going to be tempted to have sex with".

"That's fair enough" I replied "When can you start?"

Little Timmy walks in on his parents having sex

He sees his mom bouncing up and down on his dad. "Mommy, what are you and daddy doing?" The parents, obvioulsy very embarassed, are trying hard to make up a harmless explanation. "Uhm... I'm a... I'm sitting on daddys tummy to make all the air go out of it... because he's a bit fat..." stutters his mother.

"There's no use in that, mom. The maid always blows the air back in when you're not there"

Honey, am I fat?

"No darling! You are not fat. You're skinnier than on the day of our wedding."

"Honey I'm hungry, can you carry me to the fridge?"

"Just a second darling. I'll bring the fridge to you."

What do nutrition labels and tumblr have in common?

They're both full of trans fats

I was told by the vet that i had to put my cat down...

So i went home to it and said "You're fat and lazy."

Honey, I really don't think you're fat ...

pull up two chairs and let's talk about it

(Q)....... What do fat women & mopeds have in common?

(A)........ They're both fun to ride until your friends find out.

Life is like a box of chocolates

It won't last long if you're fat

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the you re so fat jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working you re so fat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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