You Are So Old Birthday Jokes
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Funniest You Are So Old Birthday Short Jokes
Short you are so old birthday jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you are so old birthday humour may include short you are old jokes also.
- My girlfriend was really angry when I gave her a box of photos of all her old boyfriends for her birthday. I don't know why, she said she wanted an ex box.
- My girlfriend is turning 32 years old...I've told her not to get her hopes up. After all..we're only going to be celebrating it for half a minute."
"thirty-second birthday." - I went to a 4-year olds birthday party once, it was kinda awkward... ...probably because I wasn't invited...
- How can you tell which two year old birthday party is for the anti- vaxxer's kid? It's the one being held in the cemetery.
- What did the pirate say on his birthday? Yarr, me parties!
(I told this to my 8-month old and she burst into tears, so I know it's good!) - A 79 year old pirate has his next birthday this morning.... he wakes up and says to his crew, "AYE-matey!"
- What did the old Catholic priest say when he arrived at a 6 year old boys birthday party? Happy birthday.
- How can you tell that you're getting old? You go to an antique auction and three people bid on you!
- My 19 year-old son made a wish on his birthday... The doctor told us it doesn't work like that anymore.
- What do you call a video of a birthday party for a seventy year old breast cancer survivor ? "Not your proudest fap."
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You Are So Old Birthday One Liners
Which you are so old birthday one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you are so old birthday? I can suggest the ones about getting old birthday and birthday old.
- How old was the cave man on his birthday? Stone Age
- You know you're old... When your birthday candles cost more than the cake.
- Did you hear about the 30 year old virgins' birthday party? It was celibatory
- On a pirate's birthday, I asked him how old he was His response: "Aye matey"
- What did the old zombie dog say when she got a birthday bone? *My hip!*
- What's Drake doing on his birthday? An 18 year old.
- How old would you be if you didn't know how old you was?
- What did the wine glass say to the beer mug turning 1 years old? Have a hoppy birthday!
- I managed to trick my 8 year old cousin into giving me head phones for my birthday.
- Yo momma's so old, the fire department is on standby when you light her birthday cake.
- Happy birthday is my favorite song. Because it never gets old.
- What did the old man get for his birthday? Cancer.
- What do you give your 13 year old son for his birthday? An e**...
Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious You Re So Old Birthday Jokes and Friends
What funny jokes about you are so old birthday you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean you are older than jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you are so old birthday pranks.
People say to me Jesus was not Jewish
## I say ofcourse he was Jewish
+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift
## He's Jewish. Give it up
****
_by Robin Williams_
Happy Birthday Robin!
A 106-year-old cowboy in Texas recently passed away.
He was asked on his last birthday earlier this year his secret to longevity.
He told them that for the past 50 years he had sprinkled a little gunpowder on his cereal each morning.
He left behind 8 children, 21 grandchildren, 32 great-grandchildren, and a 15-foot hole in the crematorium.
Water p**...
When my three-year-old son opened the birthday gift from his grandmother, he discovered a water p**.... He squealed with delight and headed for the nearest sink.
I was not so pleased. I turned to Mom and said, ''I'm surprised at you. Don't you remember how we used to drive you crazy with water guns?''
Mom smiled and replied, ''Yes dear - I remember very well...''
An Irishman took his son to the bar on his birthday to buy him his first drink.
The father bought his son a stout, but he didn't like it and didn't want to drink it.
The father decided to drink it for him and ordered an ale instead.
He didn't like it either. So, the father drank it and ordered him a cider.
Lager, cider, cream ale... he didn't like any of them, so the father drank them and ordered whiskey instead.
He didn't like any of the Irish whiskeys the father ordered, so the old man drank them and decided to give up.
By the time they left the bar. The father was so drunk he could barely push his son's stroller home.
I asked my five year old daughter what she wanted for her birthday and she giggled, "I want unicorns, rainbow and fairies!"
Ok, l**... it is!
What's the first way to know when you're growing old?
It's your birthday and the only ones who wish you happy birthday are your doctors.
(Not so much a joke. It's my birthday and guess who wished me happy birthday so far.)
Edit: finally, a couple of family members have said it. They're still outnumbered five to one by medical staff. Lol!
It was the 117th birthday of the oldest man in the country, so a reporter went to interview him.
The old man looked really young, like a 60 year old. The reporter, surprised, asked him:
- Whoah, what's your secret to live so long and look so young?
- It's really easy sir, I never argue with idiots.
- Haha! That can't be the reason.
- Alright, alright, that's not the reason.
For his birthday, an old man's nephews secretly hire a call girl for him.
When he answers the door she's standing there in a slinky black dress. She says, I'm here to give you super s**....
After thinking for a minute the old man replies, I guess I'll have the soup.
My daughter learned to count!
My daughter woke me around 11:50 last night. My wife and I had picked her up from her friend Sally's birthday party, brought her home, and put her to bed. My wife went into the bedroom to read while I fell asleep watching the Braves game.
"Daddy," she whispered, tugging my shirt sleeve. "Guess how old I'm going to be next month."
"I don't know, beauty," I said as I slipped on my glasses. "How old?"
She smiled and held up four fingers.
It is 7:30 now. My wife and I have been up with her for almost 8 hours. She still refuses to tell us where she got them.
I was in my attic yesterday looking for some old photos...
...when I came across the present that I was going to give to my daughter for her 3rd birthday last year.
It was a bit of a shame. She would have loved that kitten.
Happy Birthday Henry
Old widower Henry is celebrating his 80th birthday in the retirement home, and his friends decide to hire a h**... to entertain him. So early that evening, a beautiful blond shows up at his door, and says "HI, I'm Susie, and I'm here to give you super s**...."
Henry looks her over, thinks for a minute, and says "Eh, I'll take the soup."
I asked my 5 year old daughter what she wanted for her birthday?
She said, she wanted unicorns,fairies and rainbows.
l**... it is then.
Ray has just reached his 110th birthday. A reporter comes to his birthday party and says, Excuse me, sir, but how did you come to be so old? Ray replies, It's easy. The secret is never to argue with anyone.
The reporter is not impressed. That's insane! he says. It has to be something else – diet, meditation, or 'something.' Just not arguing won't keep you alive for 110 years! Ray looks at the reporter and says, Y'know, maybe you're right.