You Are So Mexican Jokes
119 you are so mexican jokes and hilarious you are so mexican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you are so mexican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest You Are So Mexican Short Jokes
Short you are so mexican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you are so mexican humour may include short you know your mexican jokes also.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
- What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican? E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
- "Jesus loves you." A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- There was a Mexican magician who was about to disappear on the count of three. He said "uno... dos-" and vanished. He disappeared without a tres
- I always thought Americans should say "B". Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
- what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck? Jose and Jos-B
this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom - A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant... He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
- I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein. They told him, "No whey, José."
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You Are So Mexican One Liners
Which you are so mexican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you are so mexican? I can suggest the ones about mexican be like and mexicans be like.
- Why did the Mexican take a Xanax? For hispanic attacks
- Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
- How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*
- What do you call a Mexican guy who's car broke down? Joaquin
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans
- How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos
- What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive) alien vs. Predator
- What are Mexican proteins made of? Amigo-acids
- What do you call a Mexican space chicken? Apollo.
- I've started saying mucho to all of my Mexican coworkers. It means a lot to them.
- What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle? Alien vs Predator.
- What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common? They both do their essays.
- What do you call a Mexican who transitions? Señor Rita
- Why couldn't the Mexican fire his bow? He didn't habenero.
Happy You Re So Mexican Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about you are so mexican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mean mexican jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you are so mexican pranks.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.
Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
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What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto
A rich guy hires an out of work Mexican to do some work.
The guy hands him a 5 gallon bucket of green paint and says, "Go around the side of the house, and paint my porch."
The Mexican knocks on the door a few hours later and says, "I'm finished mister - but I have to tell you, that was no porch, that was a Mercedes."
Jesus loves you.
A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison.
A Frenchman, a Mexican, and an American are on a plane...
The pilot informs them that they lost an engine and must drop some weight. The frenchman throws a bottle of wine out the window, "we have way too much of this in my country." The Mexican throws out his drugs, "we have way too many of these in my country." The American quickly tosses the Mexican out.
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A Mexican, a Black guy and a White guy are walking down the beach...
They find a bottle and the Mexican guy decides pick it up and rub it. A genie comes out of the bottle and speaks to them and grants them each one wish.
The Mexican guy goes first and says, "I wish that all my Mexican brethren and I could be transported back to our native homeland and we could all be happy there."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Mexican guy disappears.
Now it's the black guy's turn. He says, "I wish that all my African brothers and I could all go back to our motherland and be happy, prosperous and free."
The genie grants his wish and p**..., the Black guy disappears.
Now it's the white guy's turn.
The white guy pauses for a moment, scratches his head and says "Are you telling me that all the b**... and Mexicans are gone from America?
The genie nods his head and says yes.
The white guy makes up his mind and says, "Ok, well i'll have a Coke, thanks."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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You know, Mexican and b**... jokes are really starting to bore me.
Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
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"Jesus loves you" can be very comforting words...
unless you hear them in a Mexican prison
What did the Mexican say when a gust of wind blew his homework out the window?
Come back essay!
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What do you call a little Mexican?
A paragraph, because he's not quite an essay.
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What's the only major difference between Cinco de mayo and Saint Patrick's day?
Nobody wants to pretend to be a Mexican for a day.
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A U. S. Navy destroyer stops four Mexicans in a row boat rowing towards California...
The captain gets on the loud-hailer and shouts, "Ahoy, small craft. Where are you headed?"
One of the Mexicans puts down his oar, stands up, and replies, "We are invading the United States of America to reclaim the territory taken by the USA during the 1800s."
The entire crew of the destroyer doubled-over in laughter. When the captain was finally able to catch his breath, he gets back on the loud-hailer and asks, "Just the four of you?"
The same Mexican stands up again and shouts, "No, we're the last four. The rest are already there!"
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A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl......
A Mexican, an Arab, and a r**... girl are in the same bar.
When the Mexican finishes his beer, he throws his glass in the air, pulls out his p**..., and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In Mexico , our glasses are so cheap we don't need to drink with the same one twice.'
The Arab, obviously impressed by this, drinks his beer, throws it into the air, pulls out his AK-47, and shoots the glass to pieces. He says, 'In the Arab World, we have so much sand to make glasses that we don't need to drink with the same one twice either.'
The r**... girl, cool as a cucumber, picks up her beer, downs it in one gulp, throws the glass into the air, whips out her 45, and shoots the Mexican and the Arab. Catching her glass, setting it on the bar, and calling for a refill, she says:
'In America we have so many i**... aliens that we don't have to drink with the same ones twice.'
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Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
Hey tried to join the que que que.
Why did the Mexican push his wife off a cliff?
Tequila.
What does a Mexican wizard use to cast magic?
A Juand
My favorite joke when I was a kid..
There are four men on a small boat: an Italian, Chinese, American and Mexican.
The boat is too heavy, and begins to sink. The American yells "quick, throw out whatever you have most of in your country!"
The Italian throws out pasta.
The Chinese throws out rice.
The Mexican throws out oranges.
The American throws out the mexican.
What do you call a Mexican Jedi?
Obi-Juan
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
Carlos.
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A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
I'm Mexican
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
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Why did the crazy mexican c**... a train?
He had loco motives...
I'll show myself out
A man walks into a gun shop.
He looks over the guns until the cashier asks what he wants. The man couldn't decide so the cashier asked, "what are you shooting?" The man said "cans". The cashier asked, "what kind of cans?" The man took a pause, than finally said "oh you know, Americans, Mexicans, Africans."
I told my Mexican student to turn in his essay
He said "I ain't no snitch!".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Why can't Mexicans bow hunt?
'Cause they don't Habanero!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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An Irish Mexican teenager starts a job as a builder..
Only one hour into his first job he tries to hammer a nail with a screwdriver. The boss spots this and walks over to let him know he's doing it wrong. "You've got a lot to learn young p**... Juan".
What did the Mexican say when his homework flew out the window?
Where you going essay!?
What do you call a Mexican girl who converts to Islam?
Dora the Exploder
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book?
Tequila Mockingbird
What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?
Cuatro cinco
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Jesus loves you.
These are beautiful words to hear in a church, and absolutely horrifying ones to hear in a Mexican prison.
Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?
Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.
She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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How many stuttering Mexicans does it take to c**... a server?
D--Dos
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
Everyone is panicking about the stock markets....
But the 31 foot mexican ladder company I invested in is surging.
Where does a Mexican go when they feel threatened?
Hispanic Room
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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The i**... protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.
Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same...
Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
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I don't understand why ...
I don't understand why Mexicans are so upset that Trump is going to build a wall.
They should just get over it.
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What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein?
No Whey José.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Not everything Donald Trump says is s**....
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
Mexican self defense
A Mexican passed a Japanese man and a Korean man as they were discussing their favorite type of martial arts.
Japanese man: I practice karate, the defense arts.
Korean man: I practice Taekwondo, teaches defense and attack.
At this point the men notice the Mexican and ask him what he practices
Mexican: Judono
Men: We have heard of Judo but not Judono, what is it?
Mexican: Well, judono if I got a gun, judono if I got a knife...
Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump
The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!
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Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?
I really s**... at Guac-a-mole.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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A Mexican attempts to pass the border
A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."
The Mexican replied, "Scissors."
The border control officer replied,"d**...! Well, you're free to go!"
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A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar
Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street."
Depression in Mexico
There are been a sharp increase in depression in Mexico since Trump got into office on the platform of building a wall between the two countries.
Leading mental health experts have said that sadly many Mexicans will never get over it.
What is a Mexicans favorite high school sport?
Cross country
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
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I was about to smoke w**... with a couple cute Mexican girls...
I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign?
"It's ok because there is only two of us."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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Jesus loves you.
A beautiful sentiment to hear at church.
The stuff of nightmares in a Mexican prison.
Did you hear about the Mexican that got stabbed on a golf course?
I guess someone made a hole in Juan.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
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All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago
...and they still don't have any i**... Mexicans.
Pixar movies over the years
What if toys had feelings?
What if bugs had feelings?
What if monsters had feelings?
What if fish had feelings?
What if superheroes had feelings?
What if cars had feelings?
What if rats had feelings?
What if robots hadd feelings?
What if boy scouts had feelings?
What if gingers had feelings?
What if feelings had feelings?
What if dinosaurs had feelings?
What if Mexicans had feelings?
Today, I decided to donate all my worldly possessions and give myself up to Jesus
It's pretty hard to say no to a Mexican dude with a knife.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall.
He said, Eh. I'll get over it.
This is now the longest government shut down in US History. In lighter news, if seeing who will crack first on the border wall is prolonging it, then this shut down truly is...
a Mexican stand off.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Mexican-Canadian p**... business?
h**..., eh?
