You Are So Mexican Jokes
119 you are so mexican jokes and hilarious you are so mexican puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you are so mexican that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest You Are So Mexican Short Jokes
Short you are so mexican jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you are so mexican humour may include short you know your mexican jokes also.
- A man crosses the mexican border seeking better living conditions for his family. Then his constituency calls for him to resign as a senator from Texas.
- "Jesus loves you" is a wonderful thing to hear in church. But a horrible thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
- Mexican and African jokes are all pretty much the same.... Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal...
- A Black Guy, a Mexican, and a Muslim holding a Gay Chicken Walk Into a Bar Bartender says, "We don't do jokes in here."
The chicken says, "Come on guys I know a place across the street." - What is the only reason Donald Trump is watching the Olympics? So he can determine how high Mexican pole vaulters can jump.
- I don't understand why some people say, "Taco Bell isn't real Mexican." It gets the job done for less than half the cost. That's about as Mexican as it gets.
- Donald Trump's plan to build a wall might actually work. The Chinese built a huge wall, and they have almost no Mexicans in their country.
- Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.
- I asked my Mexican friend if he will be upset if Trump manages to build the wall. He said, Eh. I'll get over it.
- Yo mama's like a brick..... dirty, flat on both sides, and always getting laid by Mexicans.
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You Are So Mexican One Liners
Which you are so mexican one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you are so mexican? I can suggest the ones about mexican be like and mexicans be like.
- What do you call a Mexican bodybuilder who runs out of protein? No Whey José.
- Why did the Mexican take a Xanax? For hispanic attacks
- Did you ever hear about the Mexican train killer? He had locomotives
- How does every Mexican joke start? By looking over your shoulder.
- Why do only 2 Mexicans cross the border at a time? Because the sign says no trespassing.
- Why do Mexicans always cross the border in twos? Because the sign says No Tres passing
- How does a Mexican cut a pizza? With *little* *caesars*
- My Mexican uncle takes anti-anxiety medication It's for Hispanic attacks
- What do you call a Mexican midget? A paragraph because he's too short to be an essay
- Did you hear about the Mexican train bomber? He had locomotives.
- What do you call a Mexican guy who's car broke down? Joaquin
- Why did the Mexicans ignore the "No Trespassing" sign? It was just the two of them.
- Why don't Mexicans cross the border in groups of three? Because it says "No Trespassing".
- Why did the Mexican Army only bring 5000 soldiers to the Alamo? They only had 2 vans
- How many Mexicans does it take to run a computer? Dos
Happy You Re So Mexican Jokes for a Lighthearted Night with Friends
What funny jokes about you are so mexican you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mean mexican jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you are so mexican pranks.
A Mexican kid meets Donald Trump and says to him, I want to be President one day.
Trump says, Are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of your mind? Are you r**...?
The kid replies, You know what, I've changed my mind. Those are too many requirements.
What do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?
Roberto
Jesus loves you.
A good thing to hear in church but a terrifying thing to hear in a mexican prison.
You know, Mexican and b**... jokes are really starting to bore me.
Once you've heard Juan you've heard Jamal.
"Jesus loves you" can be very comforting words...
unless you hear them in a Mexican prison
Why does nobody play uno with Mexicans?
They always steal the green cards.
Have you ever heard of the mexican train killer?
He had loco motives
Why did the Mexican army attack the Alamo with only 2000 soldiers?
they only had one pickup
Did you hear about the Mexican racist?
Hey tried to join the que que que.
I always thought Americans should say "B".
Because Canadians say "Eh", and Mexicans say "Ci".
What's the difference between Jesus and Mexicans?
Jesus doesn't have any tattoos of Mexicans.
What do you call a Mexican fighting a Priest? (slightly offensive)
Alien vs. Predator
The Mexican Magician
A Mexican magician declares that he will disappear on the count of three. He begins to count, "uno, dos..." *p**...* The magician vanished without a tres.
A Mexican with a r**... e**... walks into a wall. What part hits the wall first?
The lawnmower.
A Mexican goes to a Chinese restaurant...
He sits down at his table, and notices a small bottle of black liquid on his table. He picks it up and looks at the label and says, "yes, you are."
what do you call 2 mexicans on a fire truck?
Jose and Jos-B
this was always my mom's favorite joke, R.I.P. Mom
A Mexican magician tells the crowd he will disappear on the count of 3...
He says "uno... dos..." *p**...*! and disappears without a tres.
I'm Mexican
I'm not offended by taco jokes or fiesta jokes. But Immigration jokes?
They cross the line.
A mexican magician told the audience he'll disappear on the count of three. He said "Uno, dos" *p**...*
He disappeared without a tres.
Why were there only 40,000 Mexicans at the Battle of the Alamo?
They only had 2 trucks
Guys I think Trump's immigration policies just might work.
China built a wall and they have like, no Mexicans.
What do you call a Mexican whose car has been stolen?
Carlos
What do you call a fight between a Mexican and Jared Fogle?
Alien vs Predator.
Why did the Mexican train driver kill all of his passengers?
I'm not sure, but he must have had a loco motive.
Why didn't the Mexican go bow hunting?
Because he didn't habanero.
I was going to smoke a joint with some Mexicans
But when I asked if anyone had papers, they all ran off.
A mexican kid tells D. Trump:
I want to be President!
Trump says: are you s**...? Are you an idiot? Out of tour mind? Are you r**...?
Kid says: you know what, never mind those are too many requirements.
Crossing the Border
A young Mexican man decides he wants to see a bit of America. He swims across the Rio Grande and finds a college football game about to start. He doesn't have any money to get in, so he climbs a flag pole to watch the game. Later that night he swims back across the river and tells his family how friendly the Americans all were, as they all turned to him at the start of the game and asked together, "Jose, can you see?"
What is an alcoholic Mexican's favorite book?
Tequila Mockingbird
I feel really bad for the Mexican Olympian disqualified from weightlifting for excessive use of protein.
They told him, "No whey, José."
Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?
Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.
A black guy, a white guy, and a Mexican guy were eying a h**... from across a bar.
She notices them looking at her, so she walks up to them.She says, " I want a man that"s smart. Use the words LIVER and CHEESE in one sentence. "The black guy goes " I love to eat liver and cheese. "The white guy goes " I like to cook liver and cheese. "The Mexican guy goes up to the girl and tells the guys " Liver alone, cheese mine!!"
A Mexican man was visiting America.
He wanted to go to a genuine American baseball game so that when he went home, he could tell his family all about it, but when he got there the game was sold out, so he climbed to the top of the flag pole to get a good look.
"What happened?" asked his family.
"Well, America is the nicest place in the world!" he said. "Before the game started, all the people in the stands, and all the players, stood up, looked at me and said, "Jose, can you see?"
An American, a Brit and a Mexican are sitting in a helicopter.
The Brit throws out a bag of tea, explaining to the confused others: "We have so much tea in England we can just throw it out!"
The Mexican proceeds by throwing a bag of peppers out, explaining "We have so much peppers in Mexico, we can just throw it out!"
The American proceeds to throw the Mexican out of the helicopter.
"Why did you do that?!" exclaimed the Brit.
The American turns around. "He killed my wife."
Why don't Mexicans cross the border in 3's?
No tres passing
What's the difference between E.T. and a Mexican?
E.T. learned English and wanted to go home.
Two r**... are admiring their firearms.
One says, I keep these around for hunting, home protection, and to defend my 2nd amendment rights. The second says, I just like shooting cans.
That's a lot of firepower just for shooting cans.
Well, there's so many of them: Mexi-cans, Afri-cans, Puerto Ri-cans...
The i**... protesting with Mexican flags, shouting "Trump is not my President" are telling the truth.
Their president is Enrique Peña Nieto.
Trump: "Let's get that Muslim band going"
"Band? We thought you said ban"
Trump: "No way, that's harsh. Also, how's the Mexican mall going?"
Black jokes and Mexican jokes are all the same...
Once you've seen Juan you've seen Jamal.
Not everything Donald Trump says is s**....
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
"Jesus loves you."
A nice thing to hear in church. And a horrific thing to hear in a Mexican prison.
Mexico's president says he will not go to the U.S. for a meeting with Trump
The wall's not even finished and it kept a Mexican out!
Now that Donald Trump is actually building the wall, I hear Mexicans are depressed
I'm sure they'll soon get over it
Has anyone played that weird Mexican carnival game where groundhogs pop out of holes and you have to smear them with avocado?
I really s**... at Guac-a-mole.
A Mexican attempts to pass the border
A border control officer catches them and says, "Papers."
The Mexican replied, "Scissors."
The border control officer replied,"d**...! Well, you're free to go!"
Ban?????
"How did things go organizing a muslim travelling band?"
"Band? Sir, i'm sorry we thought you said ban."
"Ban! That's a bit harsh isn't it? Nevermind, how are things progressing with our new Mexican mall?"
I was about to smoke w**... with a couple cute Mexican girls...
I asked them if they had papers. They immediately ran off.
Donald Trump goes to a fortune teller and asks "When am I going to die?"
The fortune teller replies: "you will die on a major Mexican holiday."
Trump asks: "Which Mexican holiday? Cinco de Mayo? Dia de los muertos?"
The fortune teller replies: "ANY day you die, Donald, will be a major Mexican holiday!"
What did one Mexican robber say to the other when they got to the "No Trespassing" sign?
"It's ok because there is only two of us."
What's the name of the Mexican that loses his car?
Carlos...
Jesus loves you.
A beautiful sentiment to hear at church.
The stuff of nightmares in a Mexican prison.
All I'm saying is the Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago
...and they still don't have any i**... Mexicans.
What are Mexican proteins made of?
Amigo-acids
What do a gay Mexican and a highschool nerd have in common?
They both do their essays.
What do fat women and Bricks have in common?
They're both eventually laid by Mexicans
Two Mexican detectives were investigating the m**... of Juan Gonzalez.
How was he killed asked one detective. With a golf gun. Replied the second detective.
A golf gun? What's a golf gun?
I don't know, but it sure made a hole in Juan
Touched by Jesus
Saying that you were touched by Jesus is a completely different story in a Mexican prison.
Say what you want about Trump's wall
But China has had a great wall for thousands of years and you still don't see any Mexicans
I was gonna smoke w**... with this Mexican girl
Until I asked her for some papers and she ran off.
Why couldn't the Mexican fire his bow?
He didn't habenero.
Racism
Sometimes if I wanna get someone's attention, I'll start a sentence with "I'm not racist,
"I'm not racist, but you look great today."
And they say, "that wasn't racist at all."
And I say, "I know. I said I'm not racist. You never listen. Typical Mexican."
