You Are So Dark Jokes
108 you are so dark jokes and hilarious you are so dark puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about you are so dark that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Funniest You Are So Dark Short Jokes
Short you are so dark jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The you are so dark humour may include short you are so beautiful jokes also.
- How many Trump supporters does it take to change a lightbulb? None. Trump says it's changed and his supporters all cheer in the dark.
- Why does Batman only wear dark colors? Easy. Batman doesn't want to get shot. Why does Robin only wear bright colors? Easy.
Batman doesn't want to get shot. - In Pokemon, I never understood why bug types were supereffective against dark types. But then I thought about malaria in Africa and it all made sense.
- How many anti-vaxxers does it take to change a light bulb? None. They're happy living in the dark
- A PESSIMIST sees a dark tunnel An OPTIMIST sees light at the end of the tunnel
A REALIST sees a freight train
The TRAIN driver sees 3 idiots standing on the tracks - How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a lightbulb? The real question is: who broke the lightbulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
- After God created 24 hours of alternating darkness and light, one of the angels asked him, "what are you going to do now?" God said,
"I think I'm going to call it a day." - A joke my 8-year old made up: What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken
- How many dead prostitutes does it take to change a lightbulb? Obviously not 8, because its still dark in my basement.
- Robin said to Batman... "Batman, why do you wear dark colors?"
"Easy Robin, it makes me less likely to be shot"
"Then why do I wear bright colors?"
"It also makes me less likely to be shot."
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You Are So Dark One Liners
Which you are so dark one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with you are so dark? I can suggest the ones about you are so tall and you are so skinny.
- What do you call a chicken that's afraid of the dark? A chicken.
- Why did the old man fall in the well? Because he couldn't see that well!
- Dark humor is like cancer. It's even funnier when children get it.
- Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not c? Because you can't see in the dark.
Ba-dum-tss - Food is like dark humor not every one gets it.
- Dark Humour is like anti-vax families There's usually a dead baby.
- What's the difference between a baby and a baked potato? About 140 calories.
- Why were the 'Dark Ages' so dark? Because there were so many Knights.
Just delete me. - What happens when Catwoman takes off her suit? The Dark Knight Rises!
- Q: Why can't orphans play baseball? A: Because they don't know where home is.
- Do you know why programers prefer dark mode? Because light attracts bugs.
- What do you call an artist in a dark alley? Sketchy
- Why do most programmer use dark mode? Because the light attracts too many bugs
- Me: Hello darkness my old friend Darkness: I have a boyfriend.
- I can't afford to pay for electricity anymore... these are some dark times.
Quirky and Hilarious You Re So Dark Jokes to Let the Chuckles Begin.
What funny jokes about you are so dark you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean you are so hot jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make you are so dark pranks.
My wife is pregnant and my doctor asked me if I had ever been present at a childbirth before.
I replied, "Yes just once."
The doctor asked, "What was it like?"
I said, "It was dark, then suddenly very bright."
How does a Jewish mother change a lightbulb?
"No, that's all right. I'll just sit here in the dark."
Two guys are walking down a dark alley
when a mugger approaches them and demand their money.
They both grudgingly pull our their wallets and begin taking out their cash.
Just then, o**... turns to the other and hands him a bill. "Hey, here's that twenty dollars I owe you."
A lawyer undergoes heart surgury, and is in bed in the recovery area
As he wakes up, he notices the room is dark, and a doctor is standing there. He asks the doctor, "Why did you close all the window shades?"
The doctor says, "There was a large fire across the street, and we didn't want you to think you didn't survive the operation."
Give a man a fish, and you will feed him for the day.
Give a man two prosthetic legs, and he'll shoot his girlfriend.
Winston Churchill was dining in fine company, and when asked what piece of chicken he wanted, he requested a breast. A lady upbraided him, saying, "Mr. Churchill, in polite society we ask for white meat or dark."
The next day Churchill sent her a corsage, instructing the lady to affix it to her "white meat."
Too Shy!!!
During her annual checkup, the well-constructed miss was asked to disrobe and climb onto the examining table.
"Doctor," she replied shyly, "I just can't undress in front of you."
"All right," said the physician, "I'll flick off the lights. You undress and tell me when you're through."
In a few moments, her voice rang out in the darkness: "Doctor, I've undressed. What shall I do with my clothes?"
"Put them on the chair, on top of mine.
I heard a bunch of Chinese people chanting "We want rights! We want rights!"
They must be scared of the dark or something.
Where did sally go when the bomb went off?
- everywhere.
Why did sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms..
Knock knock..
Whose there?
-not sally.
Dark humor is like clean water...
it's just not accessible to everyone.
They say there's safety in numbers...
Tell that to 6 million Jews
Muslim scientists..
Muslim scientists have invented a time-travel device that can transport an entire country back to the dark ages.
They're calling it 'Islam'.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Definitely not 9, my basement is still dark
A dark skinned lady named Betty goes to the butcher and asks for some beef.
The butcher replies: "Nooooo Black Betty, ham or lamb!"
Dark comedy is like food.
Not everyone gets it.
How many dead h**... does it take to change a light bulb?
I don't know yet. My Basement is still dark.
Why don't orphans get offended by dark humor?
Because it can't hit home
How many tumblrinas does it take to change a lightbulb?
You may think that a burnt out bulb needs to change just because the room is too dark *for you* to see anything, so it *must* be changed, but I don't care, it's beautiful, you should respect its right to be burnt out and learn to be more accepting of darker rooms, check your filament privileges you ableist s**.... Anyone who disagrees with this is a burnt-out-bulbophobe and a darknessphobe. Thanks for being so understanding.
How many dead h**... do you need to change a light bulb?
Dunno. Seven's not the answer though, my basement is still dark
A: Whats's worse than a worm in the apple?
B: The Holocaust.
A: What's worse than the Holocaust?
B: 5 Million Jews.
How many Microsoft executives does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
None. They just redefine 'darkness' as an industry standard.
I actually heard a joke the other day about an alternate ending to the movie Hook
where Captain Hook wins the duel and sends Peter back to London in a body bag. It's a good joke, if a little dark, but it does require a dead Pan delivery.
How many cops does it take to change a light bulb?
They don't, they just shoot the room for being black.
How many dead h**... does it take to change a light bulb?
Apparently not three. It's still dark in my basement.
The Harshest "Yo Mamma" Joke...
Yo Mamma is like a bowling ball...
She likes to get picked up, fingered, thrown down a dark alley, then comes back for more.
how many Americans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None; they're content to wander around in the dark pretending everything's okay.
How many dead babies does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Apparently more than 40, because my basement's still dark
Joke of the day about blondes.
Two blondes fell down a hole.
One said, "It's dark in here isn't it?"
The other replied, "I don't know; I can't see." :-D
A day in the life of an IT guy...
Customer: Hi, my computer isn't working.
IT guy: OK, what happens when you try to turn it on?
Customer: Nothing.
IT guy: Can you check to see if it's plugged into the outlet?
Customer: Uhhhh I dunno it's pretty dark back there...
IT guy: ...Can you turn on a light?
Customer: Nope. The power's out.
The pessimist sees a dark tunnel...
The optimist sees a light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees two lights at the end of the tunnel
... and the engineer can see three idiots standing on the rails.
When I was a little kid, I was afraid of the dark.
But then I grew up and saw the electricity bill.
I'm now afraid of light.
The pessimist only sees darkness into the tunnel...
The optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel
The realist sees a light approaching into the tunnel
The train driver sees 3 arseholes walking over the railway
Two blondes fall down a well
One says to the other ones, "isn't it dark down here" she replies, I don't know I can't see
Which type of people are the world's fastest readers [DARK HUMOUR]
9/11 victims. They went through more than 50 stories in 10 seconds.
How many Republicans does it take to change a light-bulb?
None.
Trump lies, tells them it was changed and they sit in the dark.
I was in a long staring contest with the sun.
Everything is dark now, dare I say it, I must have won.
Someone asked me how dark my humour is
Dark enough to get six warning shots in the back
Deep.
Pessimist sees nothing but dark in the tunnel.
Optimist sees light in the end of the tunnel.
Realist sees light from incoming train.
Engine-driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
Why isn't "dark" spelled a "c", instead of a "k"
Because you can't see in the dark.
You've all been wonderful.
How many dead people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Apparently not 17, cause my basement is still dark.
How many corpses does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
It must be more than eight, 'cause my basement's still dark.
A kid asks his mom:
- Mom, what's dark humor?
- Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap
- Mom! I'm blind....
- Exactly.
I was driving with my dad when we passed a cemetery. My dad goes in a low, dark, creepy voice, "I know something about this cemetery that you don't. And I was like what is it? He continued, "The people living in this town can't be buried here. I was really confused so I asked why?
He rasped, "Cuz they're still alive!"
Jesus is watching you
A burglar breaks into a dark house one night. He's moving around in the dark, when he hears a calm voice say, "Jesus is watching you."
The burglar freaks out, shines his flashlight around and spots a Parrot sitting in his cage. The parrot says again, "Jesus is watching you."
Relieved it was just a Parrot, and laughing, the thief asks the Parrot, "what's your name, Parrot?"
The Parrot replies, "My name is Moses."
Laughing again, the burglar asks, "Who would name their Parrot Moses?"
Parrot: "The same people who named their Doberman, Jesus."
"I'm sorry" and "I apologise" mean the same thing.
Except at a f**...
Watching my daughter at the park earlier.
Another parent asked, "Which one is yours?" Just for fun I said, "I am still choosing." She looked horrified.
While I was out shopping today I tipped in the store
a woman saw this and wouldn't stop staring so I smiled at her and said "sorry, it's been a while since I possessed a body." She looked horrified.
Events on Capitol Hill have gotten pretty dark
Any darker and the police might actually do something about it
Why is 'dark' spelled with a k and not a c?
Because everyone knows you can't c in the dark.
"Mom what's dark humor?"
"Do you see that guy over there without arms? Ask him to clap his hand"
"But mom I'm blind..."
"Exactly!"
Dad, do you know why it's so dark out?
No sun.
How many conspiracy theorists does it take to change a light bulb?
The real question is that who broke the light bulb and why are they keeping us in the dark?
edit.. thanks for the award kind stanger.
A man and a woman are talking in the office.
The man says: "I'm so tired from working, I wish I could get a day off."
The woman replies: "Don't worry, I have a way of doing that. Just watch me."
The woman proceeds to hang from a pipe.
Suddenly, the boss walks in a says: "What in the world are you doing?"
The woman replies: "I'm a light bulb."
The boss then says: "You must've gone crazy from all that working, you can take the day off."
The woman leaves. The man follows.
The boss asks the man: "Where are you going?"
The man then replies: "I'm going home. I can't work in the dark."
The Pessimist sees a dark tunnel.
The Optimist sees the light at the end of the tunnel.
The Realist sees the approaching freight train.
The Train Driver sees 3 idiots about to get run over...
Why does a programmer prefer dark mode?
Because light attracts bugs
A man runs home from work
The second he gets home he finds his wife of 20 years, takes her into the bedroom and throws her on the bed, and pulled some blankets over them.
The wife was shocked, he hadn't been this way since they were young!
Then the man then turns to her and says: "look! My new watch glows in the dark!"
A n**... police officer came to work
A n**... police officer came to work and his commander, shocked, asked him: "why did you come n**...?"
The police officer said: "There was a party last night I attended. At 00:00 all lights went off and we were in the dark. All of a sudden a voice said that all females should undress. You could hear u**.... Then after a while the same voice said all the males to get undressed. Everybody did that, so did I. And then after a minute the voice said GET TO WORK"
Commander: "And?"
Police officer: "And I came to work."
