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Yorker Jokes

68 yorker jokes and hilarious yorker puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about yorker that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Laugh off with the funniest jokes from New York! From jokes about the shortage of electricity to funny lines about foreigners, our compilation of New Yorker jokes will have you in stitches. Even cricketers won't be spared as these jokes strike a balance between humour and wit.

Funniest Yorker Short Jokes

Short yorker jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yorker humour may include short shortage jokes also.

  1. Why are New Yorkers always so depressed? Q: Why are New Yorkers always so depressed?
    A: The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
  2. Think New Yorkers don't get along? I just saw two complete strangers share a cab... One took the wheels and tires, the other took the battery and the radio.
  3. Why are New Yorkers always so grumpy? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
  4. As a new yorker i was excited about a wall that keeps foreigners from taking our jobs Then I learned the wall wasn't being built around New Jersey.
  5. Know why New Yorkers are so cynical? For them, the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
  6. Why are so many New Yorkers suffering from depression? Because for them, the "light at the end of the tunnel" is New Jersey.
  7. How Many New Yorkers Does it Take to Change a Lightbulb? Three. One to change it, and two to talk about how much better the bulbs in New York are.
  8. Who are the fastest readers in the world? New Yorkers,some of them go through 110 stories in 10 seconds.
  9. Why are New Yorkers so skeptical about everything? Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
  10. If you're from Virginia, you're a Virginian. If you're from New York, you're a New Yorker. If you're from Texas, you're a Texan. And if you're from Massachusetts, you're a Democrat.

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Yorker One Liners

Which yorker one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yorker? I can suggest the ones about accent and new yorker.

  1. What do you call a New Yorker who's always complaining? A New Yorker.
  2. Why do New Yorkers like to visit Minnesota? Because that's where the mini apple is!
  3. Why are New Yorkers so depressed Because the light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey
  4. Why are New Yorker's sad? The light at the end of the tunnel is New Jersey.
  5. What kind of tooth brush does a Mexican New Yorker use? Orale-B
  6. New Yorkers are the fastest readers. 80 stories in ten seconds splat!
  7. New Yorker confuses me Some say forget about it and the others say never forget
  8. Why can't New Yorkers play chess? They're short 2 towers.
  9. How fast can New Yorkers read? They can go through 100 stories in under 20 seconds
  10. What does a New Yorker have when Bill de Blasio works late? A night mayor
  11. What did the New Yorker say to the dog that couldn't get a ride to get food? Eukanuba!!
  12. Why did the New Yorker go to sleep under his car? He wanted to wake up oily.
  13. What do you call a gay New Yorker who is diabetic and really into baseball? A metformin.
  14. In New York, yelling at someone is demeaning it's de meaning of being a New Yorker!
  15. Who are the fastest readers? New Yorkers.
    They can go through 94 stories in 3 seconds.

New Yorker Jokes

Here is a list of funny new yorker jokes and even better new yorker puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A Texan is bragging to a New Yorker about how big Texas is ... He says, "I can start driving at sunrise, and by sundown I'd still be in Texas." New Yorker says, "I had a car like that once."
  • New Yorkers confuse me... Half of them keep saying "fuhgeddaboudit" but the rest of them keep saying "Never forget".
  • What's the difference between a New Yorker and a Canadian? A New Yorker takes the A train; a Canadian takes the train, eh.
  • If Londoners are what you call people from London and New Yorkers are what you call people from New York, what are Hamburgers?? Delicious!!
  • Studies show that most New Yorkers are offended by 9/11 jokes. The study also revealed that they thought the other 2/11 jokes were funny.
  • Why did the New Yorker spray pam all over their body every night before bed? To wake up oily
  • An old Vermonter is sitting on his porch. A New Yorker is passing by and stops to chat. He asks the old timer, "Have you lived here all your life."
    "Not yet."
  • How can you tell the difference between a Canadian and a New Yorker? New Yorker says: Eh! Get off my car...
    Canadian says: Get off my car, eh...
  • New-Yorker has found a wizard in the bottle. Wizard said:"I'll fulfill your every desire, but your neighbour would get it twice." "Poke out my eye"
  • Why are New Yorkers always so distracted? They can barely afford to pay rent, let alone attention.
Yorker joke, Why are New Yorkers always so distracted?

Gather Around for Fun Yorker Jokes and Laughter with Friends

What funny jokes about yorker you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean tourist jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make yorker pranks.

A Texan and a New Yorker are sitting in a bar.

The Texan, feeling boastful, says, "Back home in Texas, I can get in my truck at sunup and drive a straight shot until sundown without reaching the edge of my property."
The New Yorker nods sympathetically and replies, "Yeah. I had a car like that once."

Four guys are walking down the street: a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker. A reporter comes up to them and asks: "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"

The Saudi says: "what's a shortage?" The Russian says: "what's meat?" The North Korean says: "what's an opinion?" The New Yorker says: "What's excuse me?"

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?

Mind yer own f**...' business!

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a light bulb?

None of your f**...' business! Get owta my f**...' way!

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker went to a restaurant in London.

The waiter approached the table and said, "Excuse me, but if you order the steak you might not get one, as there is a shortage". The Texan said, "What's a shortage?" The Russian said, "What's a steak?" The New Yorker said, "What's excuse me?"

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker ....

A Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean and a New Yorker are walking down the street.
A reporter comes up to them and says,
Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?
The Saudi says, excuse me , what is this word shortage?
The Russian says, excuse me, what's meat?
The North Korean says, excuse me, what's an opinion?
The New Yorker says, excuse me, what's excuse me?

Islamic joke I saw somewhere

A man walking in New York's Central Park sees a Rottweiler attacking a little girl. He subdues the dog and saves her life.
A passing Fox News reporter says: You're a hero. Tonight's TV news bulletin will say: 'Brave New Yorker Saves Child.
The man replies: I'm a tourist from Saudi Arabia.
That night the news on Fox TV says: Islamic extremist kills New York dog.

You know you're a real New Yorker when...

You enter the vestibule of your apartment building, get hit with the stench of u**..., and think to yourself: oh good, today's it's only pee.

Texan, Russian and New Yorker walk into a restaurant

A Texan, a Russian and a New Yorker go to a restaurant in London.
The waiter tells them, "Excuse me -- if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage due to the mad cow disease."
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The New Yorker says, "What's 'excuse me'?"

Why do so many old New Yorkers move to Florida?

Because every part of their body has started to sag, hang lower, or generally head South.

A Texan, a Russian, and a New Yorker goes to a restaurant.

The waitress says "Excuse me, if you were going to order the steak, I'm afraid there's a shortage."
The Russian says, "What's a steak?"
The Texan says, "What's a shortage?"
The New Yorker says, "What's an 'Excuse me'?"

A New Yorker visits a Texan

The Texan shows the New Yorker around his place. "Howd'ya like it?", he asks.
"It's not bad", answers the New Yorker, "but I'll be honest, I expected you Texans to have larger places. The living room's too small, the master bedroom is small too, there is only one bathroom, and there isn't even a balcony."
"Hold your horses!" says the Texan. "We haven't even gotten outta the elevator yet!"

A New Yorker calls his mother who lives in Florida. She answers the phone with a very weak-sounding voice.

"Mom, you don't sound so good. What's wrong?"
Very feebly she answers, "I haven't eaten in quite some time."
"How long has it been, Mom?"
"My last meal was 26 days ago."
"26 Days!? How come?"
"I didn't want to be caught with food in my mouth when you called."

A Russian, a Texan, and a New Yorker walk into a restaurant in France

The hostess says excuse me, due to a Mad Cow Disease there is a shortage of steak so we currently don't have any.
The Texan says What's a shortage?
The Russian says What's a steak
The New Yorker says What's excuse me?

How many New Yorkers does it take to change a lightbulb?

None of your d**... business!

Yorker joke, What do you call a New Yorker who's always complaining?

jokes about yorker