York Mets Jokes
9 york mets jokes and hilarious york mets puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about york mets that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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York Mets Funny Jokes to Tell Your Friends and Kids.
What is a good york mets joke to make people laugh? Check out this list of funny stories that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth.
A piece of toast walks into a bar.
The bartender starts chatting with him.
"Where are you from? I haven't met many pieces of toast."
The piece of toast takes a long sip of beer, and says "Well, I was born and bread in New York."
A woman from New York was getting her affairs in order.
She wrote her will and made her final arrangements. As part of these arrangements she met with her rabbi to talk about what type of f**... service she wanted. She told her rabbi she had two final requests.
First, she wanted to be cremated, and second, she wanted her ashes scattered over Bloomindgales.
"Bloomingdales!" the rabbi said. "Why Bloomingdales?"
"That way, I know my daughters will visit me at least twice a week."
The New York Mets
Specifically, Jose Reyes' career ERA of 54.00
The Art Colletor
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client and said to him, "Saul, I have some good news
and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day; let's hear the good news first."
The attorney said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The attorney replied, "The pictures are of you with your secretary."
Having grown up in a small secluded area of Key West, I met a new friend who just moved here from New York.
Quite the change from all the hustle & bustle of city life for him. I was excited to hear all about his life there over dinner with his parents in town visiting.
He exclaims: Stores are massive, and the restaurants are fantastic!
Then he said; I went to a lot of t**... bars! Great drink specials! Do you have those here?? (Grinning heavily)
His mom: What do they do if it stars to rain?
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector phoned his client......
He said, "Saul, I have some good news and I have some bad news. The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day, let's hear the good news first.
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15-20 million. I think she could be right.
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant business woman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary.
A New York attorney representing a wealthy art collector called his client.
"Saul, I have some good news, and I have some bad news."
The art collector replied, "I've had an awful day. Give me the good news first."
The lawyer said, "Well, I met with your wife today, and she informed me that she just invested $5,000 in two pictures that she thinks will bring a minimum of $15 million to $20 million, and I think she could be right."
Saul replied enthusiastically, "Well done! My wife is a brilliant businesswoman! You've just made my day. Now I know I can handle the bad news. What is it?"
The lawyer replied, "The pictures are of you and your secretary."
One day a big group of blondes...
met in New York to show the world that blondes aren't dumb.
They begged: "Ask any of us any question, and we will show you that we're not dumb."
The group caught the attention of a passer by, who volunteered to ask them some questions. He climbed up on a car and randomly picked a blonde out of the crowd.
She got up on the car too and the man asked: "What is the first month of the year?"
The blonde responded: "November?"
"Nope," said the man. At this point the crowd began to chant, "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
So the man asked: "What is the capital of the U.S.A ?"
The blonde responded: "Paris?"
So the crowd began chanting again: "Give her another chance, give her another chance."
The man said: "Okay, but this is the last one. What is one plus one?"
The blonde replied: "Two?"
"Give her another chance, Give her another chance." screamed the crowd.
A Frenchman, an American and an Indian are on a plane.
The Frenchman says to the stewardess "I can tell what city we are flying over just by sticking my hand out the window!" Of course she doesn't believe him so he say here, watch, and he sticks his hand out the window and proudly tells everyone "We are flying over Paris" Amused the stewardess asks "how could you know that?", well says the Frenchman "I just touched the Eiffel tower"
Not wanting to be shown up, the American boasts that he too can tell where they are, he sticks his hand out the window as says "see here, I knew it, we're actually flying over New York City, I can tell because I just touched the Empire State Building"
By this point the Indian decides that he would like to play along, he looks at the other two and says "let me see if I can tell where we really are" he sticks his hand out the window and pulls it back in. Then he informs everyone "it turns out we are actually flying over New Deli"... the stewardess leans in and asks "How do you know we're flying over New Deli just by sticking your arm out the window" the Indian man replies "My watch is gone"
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