yogurt Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious yogurt puns

What's the difference between the USA and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

👍🏼

"Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

"I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably just yogurt."

"It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yogurt"

👍🏼


"Excuse me," I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus, "You have some semen on the back of your jacket."

"I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yogurt."

"It's definitely semen," I said, "I don't ejaculate yogurt."

👍🏼

What's the difference between an Australian and a pot of yogurt?

Leave a pot of yogurt in the sun for 200 years and it develops a culture.

👍🏼

"Excuse me" I said to the woman sat in front of me on the bus

"You have some semen on the back of your jacket."
"I'm sure it's not semen," she said, "It's probably yogurt."
I replied her "It's definitely semen,
I don't ejaculate yogurt."

👍🏼

What's the difference between Americans and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 200 years it'll grow a culture

👍🏼

I told the woman in front of me on the bus that she had semen on the back of her shirt...

She said "No, its probably yogurt or something." I apologized and explained that no, "I don't ejaculate yogurt." She was furious, but hey, my stop was next, and I had to get off.

👍🏼

Whats the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave Yogurt alone for 200 years, it develops a culture.

👍🏼

A young woman walks into a dry cleaner

She asks the elderly owner inspecting her blouse how long it would take to clean.
Hard of hearing the man asks, "come again?"

She responds, "No, it's yogurt"

👍🏼

My son told me a joke and I thought I would share it with you all!

My mom said I couldn't get a frozen yogurt. She said do you think I'm made of money?
Then I said, isn't that what mom stands for?

👍🏼

What's the difference between America and Yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years it develops a culture.

👍🏼

A boy in a kitchen is struggling to open a yogurt

"Godamn-shit-fuck!" the boy says in his frustration.
"I wonder where he got that from?" the mother says to the father.
"Probably from the fridge, you silly cunt" the father replies.

👍🏼

What do you call an overweight average ogre eating beef flavored yogurt?

A mediocre meaty ogre eating meaty yogurt.

👍🏼

A mother, father, and their young son are sitting on the couch watching tv

The boy is eating some yogurt, and his mom asks him how he likes it. He replies it's fucking great you moron .
The mom is very upset so she looks at her husband and asks where do you think he got that from? , and he replies from the fucking fridge, moron .

👍🏼

What do you call haunted yogurt?

Paranormal Activia.

👍🏼

A lady goes into the dry cleaners

Lady: "I was wondering if you could get this stain out of my blouse"

The Clerk: "Come again?"

Lady: "No, this time it's just yogurt"

👍🏼

I'm starting a combination Frozen Yogurt shop and news stand..

It will be called Froyo Information.

👍🏼

How to tell if women is single

A woman walks into a store and purchases 1 small box of detergent, 1 bar of soap, 3 individual servings of yogurt and 2 oranges. The cashier says, You must be single. She responds, You can tell that by what I bought? The cashier says, No, you're ugly.

👍🏼

What do you get when you take a needle to a balloon filled with yogurt?

pop culture

👍🏼

So, two yogurts walk into a bar

The bar tender says "hey, what do you think you're doing? We don't serve you here!"

And the Yogurts respond "Why? We're two cultured individuals."

👍🏼

recently re-relevant

So Monica Lewinsy rushes into the dry cleaner with a blue dress clutched in her hand. Recognizing the man behind the counter, she says "I need this dress cleaned right away." Realizing that he has been spoken to, but not certain what was said, the dry cleaner responds "Come again?"

No, says Lewisnki. It's yogurt.

👍🏼

whats the difference between the USA and a yogurt?

If you leave a yogurt unwatched for 500 years it will develop its own culture.

👍🏼

What's a pilot's favorite kind of yogurt?

Plain.

👍🏼

Why do people love working at yogurt factories?

Because of the culture!

👍🏼

What's the difference between America and a Yogurt?

If you left a Yogurt alone 200 years it would develope a culture.

I hope it's not repost

👍🏼

Family of three were watching TV on evening.

The young son was sitting on the floor in front of the TV, fiddling with a yogurt packet. He couldn't get the lid off.

"Stupid fucking yogurt," the son muttered while he was struggling with the yogurt lid.

The mother was appalled, knowing that her husband too has a horrible mouth. She turned to her husband and said with disgust, "I wonder where he got *that* from???"

"He got the yogurt from the fridge you stupid fucking bitch," said the husband.

👍🏼

I was at a store and I saw some yogurt in a big bag with a spout...

I guess that you could say the yogurt was pour quality

👍🏼

My new neighbors are from a foreign country and refused to eat the yogurt I offered them.

Pretty sure it's a cultural thing.

👍🏼

What did the man with a 9 inch penis have for breakfast?

Well I had scrambled eggs on toast followed by yogurt.

👍🏼

Greek yogurt

Its just not as rich as it was before

👍🏼

[NSFW]Four robbers break into a bank at midnight.

As they open the vault, there are only boxes. One robber opens a box and finds cups full of yogurt.

"We didn't find any money, but we got something to eat," he tells his partners. They eat their fill and leave.

The next morning's newspaper headline reads, "World's Largest Sperm Bank Robbed."

👍🏼

I bought some Greek yogurt today

It started asking all of the other food in my fridge for money

👍🏼

What did the yogurt say to the milk?

You're so uncultured.

👍🏼

Why are yogurt eaters sophisticated?

Because they're WELL-CULTURED.

👍🏼

Yogurt on the bus

On the bus today, I tapped the woman in front of me on the shoulder, and said, "Excuse me, but there's some semen on your sweater."

She said, "Oh, it's probably just yogurt..."

I replied, "Maybe, but I'm pretty sure I don't ejaculate yogurt."

👍🏼

What are the most funny Yogurt jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Yogurt? Well, here are the best Yogurt dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Yogurt pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes