Yoga Jokes

123 yoga jokes and hilarious yoga puns to laugh out loud. Read sport jokes about yoga that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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jokes about yoga

Best Short Yoga Jokes

Short yoga puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yoga humour may include short meditation jokes also.

  1. Surveys show that 80% of women who wear yoga pants never do yoga … And 100% of men don't care.
  2. The thing I love most about this fall weather is the UGG boots and yoga pants.. ... Though, they do make me look a bit gay.
  3. I just signed up for a yoga class.... "How flexible are you" asked the instructor
    I said "I can't do Tuesdays"
  4. I think my wife loves yoga more than she loves me. When I want her to do something, she'll only do it if it fits into her schedule. Meanwhile, she'll bend over backwards for yoga
  5. What did the son reply when his mother asked if he needed a drive to his yoga class? "Nah, ma, stay"
  6. I asked my friend if she wanted to do yoga in the park? "In this heat?" She said, "Namaste at home"
  7. Doing the splits I told my yoga instructor I wanted to be able to do the splits. She asked how flexible I was. I told her I couldn't come on Tuesdays.
  8. Rules for wearing animal print yoga pants: 1. Weigh less than the animals they represent
  9. Sunrise Yoga I'm on vacation with my wife and she asks me do you want to join me for sunrise yoga tomorrow?
    I replied 'namaste in bed'
  10. We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life... Like golf, tennis and yoga.
Yoga joke, We play GTA because it let's us do things we wouldn't even think about doing in real life...

Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about yoga can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of yoga puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Yoga One Liners

Which yoga one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yoga? I can suggest the ones about yogi and yogurt.

  1. I've been doing yoga for 5 years. It's been a long stretch
  2. A girl asked me if I wanted to join her in yoga at 6 am I told her, "namaste in bed".
  3. I don't like people who do Yoga They're a bunch of posers if you aske me.
  4. Three things that never lie..... Little kids, drunk people, and yoga pants
  5. My yoga instructor came to the yoga session drunk today He put me in an awkward position
  6. I didn't believe my friend who told me yoga would fix my posture I now stand corrected
  7. My yoga instructor was drunk today. Put me in a very awkward position.
  8. What do you call a filipino yoga instructor? A Manila Folder.
  9. A yoga teacher was murdered... ...they're saying it was premeditated.
  10. What do you call an electrical component that is anti-yoga An ohm resistor
  11. What did the yoga instructor tell his landlord when he tried to evict him? Namaste
  12. This morning my wife asked me if I would like to yoga class with her... Namaste in bed.
  13. What do you call an injury you get at yoga class? Yoghurt.
  14. My wife claims to be very good at yoga... but I think she's just a poser.
  15. I hate when people say yoga is a complete workout. It's a bit of a stretch.

Yoga Instructor Jokes

Here is a list of funny yoga instructor jokes and even better yoga instructor puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My Yoga instructor was so hot, I didn't want to leave the studio... She kept telling me it was done but I said "namaste"
  • How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite? Namaste home tonight.
  • My yoga instructor said I could start her class at 3pm or 4pm. She was very flexible.
  • Told my yoga instructor to teach me the splits She asked "how flexible are you"
    I said "Weekdays are out of the question"
  • What did the yoga instructor say to her landlord when he tried to kick her out? Namaste.
  • What did the yoga instructor say when asked if she wanted to leave the party? Namaste
  • A yoga instructor was at a party. Her friend said "come on let's leave"
    The yoga instructor replied "Na I'ma stay"
  • So I went to ask about some yoga classes in my neighbourhood as it's my first time. The instructor asked me if I was flexible... ... I said "I can't do Tuesdays."
  • Have you heard the one about the yoga instructor? It was quite a stretch.
  • I wanted to take up yoga. I contacted a yoga instructor and told him I wanted to be able to do the splits. He said "what's your flexibility like?" I said "I can't do Tuesdays".

Yoga Pants Jokes

Here is a list of funny yoga pants jokes and even better yoga pants puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • An estimated 70% of women who wear yoga pants don't do yoga. An estimated 100% of straight men do not care.
  • They say the inventor of yoga pants had comfort in mind But I like to think he had posterior motives.
  • There's only three things that tell the truth in the world Kids, Alcoholics and yoga pants.
  • What do you call a fat girl in yoga pants at Walmart? Cashier
  • I think my mirror is broken I said pumpkin spice latte 3 times in front of it and no white girl in yoga pants appeared.
  • What do deaf-mute people like about yoga pants? They make lip-reading easier.
  • Nothing against fat chicks having high self-esteem Just not yoga pants high
  • Some say... 75% of women that wear yoga pants don't do yoga.
    And 100% of straight men don't care.
  • What 3 things that tell the truth? Drunk men.
    Little children.
    Yoga pants.
  • A yoga pants owner, an uggs owner, and an iphone owner walks into a starbucks She orders a drink - Pumpkin Spice Latte

Yoga Poses Jokes

Here is a list of funny yoga poses jokes and even better yoga poses puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What is a pirate's favourite yoga pose? The plank!
  • What kind of yoga do you do in a casket? Decom-pose.
  • What is Steve Jobs' favorite yoga pose? Corpse pose.
  • I just tried an inverted yoga pose that my friend told me about... it was highly r**...-ended
Yoga joke, I just tried an inverted yoga pose that my friend told me about...

Amusing Yoga Jokes to Make You Laugh with Friends

What funny jokes about yoga you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean jogging jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make yoga prank.

two dogs at the vet

A great dane and a poodle are in nearby kennels at a vet's office.
Poodle: "I get overly excited and pee on the floor when my owner comes home. His evil wife is having me put to sleep. What are you in for?"
Dane: "That's too bad. I got way too excited when my owner started doing Bikram yoga. I couldn't help it...I started h**... her like crazy."
Poodle: "So is she putting you down too?"
Dane: "Naw, I'm just getting my nails done."

Yesterday at yoga

Yesterday at yoga, the instructor told us to make a flower shape by putting our hands together. She kept saying to take deep breaths and focus on our flowers. Towards the end of the exercise she told us to smell our flowers and just say out loud what our flowers smelt like. I don't think she appreciated it when I said Vaseline and shame.

A yoga joke!

What did the yogi say to his friends when they asked him to leave?
"Nah I'ma stay"

My girlfriend wanted me to go to yoga with her the other day.

I waved her off and said "Nah 'ma stay."

I asked my yoga teacher what my purpose in life is

she said " To inspire and then expire"

The ladies call me "subway"..

..because I lie about being 12 inches and my meat smells like a yoga mat.

What did the yoga teacher say to her land lord when he tried to evict her?

Nah Imma stay

I rang the gym about joining their yoga class.

They asked: *"how flexible are you?"*
I said *"I can't make Wednesdays or Thursdays"*.

Statistically speaking, every male has had a crush on a teacher...

For me, it's my wife's yoga instructor.

My dad said if he practiced yoga long enough he could pick up a pencil with his toes.

He then proudly mentioned he would be writing footnotes.

Why is it easy to arrange for private yoga classes with a teacher?

They are flexible.

I'll run on the treadmill, I'll do the elliptical, I will even take a zumba class...

But yoga is a stretch for me.

My wife asked me, "Why don't you ever come to yoga class with me??"...

"That's kind of a stretch for me"

A yoga instructor killed a student before class started

He's being charged with pre-meditation m**....

What did the yoga student say to her yoga teacher when he told her to leave?

She said nah-ima-stay

Found a news article saying that millions of people die annually from doing yoga.

I think that's a stretch.

Jesus is a regular at my yoga class

Pilates s**... him up real bad but he keeps coming back

My girlfriend asked me if I wanted to go do yoga with her.

I said, "Namaste right here."

The instructor told me to just leave the yoga class if i wasn't going to take it seriously

I looked her in the eye and said "nah, imma stay"

A man was arrested for stealing yoga dvds

He's now doing a long stretch

I asked a millennial hipster yoga teacher to leave the room...

He said: "Nah a ma stay."

A husband walks into the bedroom and is shocked by what he sees.

"Oh my God Carol, no!"
"But I told you all about us."
"I thought you said you were doing YOGA!"
"Embarrassing this is."

My friend tried to convince me that yoga is a workout...

I told him it's a bit of a stretch
(Thought of this tonight during yoga)

My friend claims yoga is the best possible thing you can do for your body.

Seems like a bit of a stretch.

I had a Yoga teacher when I was younger and he was always drunk and touched me inappropriately,

He put me in an awkward position.

My wife asked me to go to yoga class with her

I said Namaste here

I think I thought of a great joke about yoga

But you might need to help me with the punchline, it's a bit of a stretch.

A group of bats, hanging at the ceiling of a cave.....

discovers a single bat standing upright underneath on the floor of the cave.
Surprised by this unusual behavior, they ask this fellow: "What the heck are you doing down there?"
And the fellow shouts back: "Yoga!"

What do you call a communist doing yoga?

Stretch Marx

My wife asked if these pants make her look fat…

I replied
Definitely not. It's you that makes the pants look fat.
And oh how we both laughed and laughed.
Anyway, I'm single now in case any of you want to hang out.
I'm pretty open most days. Except for Tuesday's when I do yoga.

Jesus is sitting in heaven looking glum, when St Paul says

"You've been down lately, come join me for yoga this afternoon, it'll improve your energy levels and perk you right up, Lord"

Jesus looks up, his expression remaining grim

"I'll pass, I've had bad experiences with Pilates"

What do you do when a yoga guru goes missing?

Nothing. They'll find themself.

What do an ambulance and a yoga class have in common?

They both contain stretchers.

What do we know about Gandhi?

Well, he walked barefoot and was a vegetarian.. he ate very little and practiced yoga, and was a minimalist who likely didn't brush his teeth either, giving him bad breath.
He was a super calloused fragile mystic hexed by halitosis.

Can zombies do yoga?

Of corpse knot!

I asked my wife if she wanted to go out for dinner after yoga. Her response?

Namaste Om

Why did Barbie go to a yoga retreat in Australia?

She heard about all the Ken gurus

I used to date my yoga instructor.

Put me in an awkward position at first, but we held on. I bent over backwards to make her happy but she found me uptight and inflexible. Guess it just didn't work out in the long stretch.

Someone told me I should do yoga

"That's a bit of a stretch for me" I replied.

If Yoga practitioners are so peaceful and carefree...

Why are they always the first to get bent out of shape?

Hey, yoga class is over, want to leave?

Nah, I'ma stay.

My roommate is a yoga teacher and she's stopped paying me rent. I told her that in that case she needs to leave and she just said:

Nah I'mma stay

My roommate asked me if I wanted to go with her to her yoga class..

..but I was like, "namaste."

Yoga joke, My roommate asked me if I wanted to go with her to her yoga class..

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these yoga jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.