The Best 82 Yellow Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Yellow jokes. There are some yellow green jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these yellow green yellow pink puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Yellow Jokes and Puns

What's yellow and smells like a zebra?

Lion vomit.

Name three things that come in a little yellow box

Kodak film, Dots candy and Woody Allen.

Whats yellow and lives off dead beatles?

Yoko Ono

Yellow joke, Whats yellow and lives off dead beatles?

Mujibar get a job in India

Mujibar was trying to get a job in India .

The Personnel Manager said, 'Mujibar, you have to show you are proficient in the English language. Please make a sentence using the words: Yellow, Pink, and Green.'

Mujibar responded, 'The telephone goes green, green, I pink it up, and say, Yellow! This is Mujibar.'

Mujibar now works at a call center. No doubt you have spoken to him.

What's the most ordinary shade of yellow?

Mediochre.


Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...

Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey sucks" in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the urine came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."

What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

Yoko Ono

Yellow joke, What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?

5 year old cousin with this one: Who lives in the green house?

Me: I don't know

Her: The green guy! Who lives in the red house?

Me: The red guy

Her: Yes! Who lives in the blue house?

Me: The blue guy

Her: Yeah! Who lives in the yellow house?

Me: The yellow guy

Her: Who lives in the white house?

[Now since I've heard this "riddle" before, I knew the trick answer. I was ready to answer The President! when my uncle blurted out:]

The black guy!!

What's yellow and can't swim?

A bulldozer.

Two blonde girls at a traffic light

They stop at red:

-Look at that red color!

-Wow, it's beautiful.

-And the yellow!

-Such brightness!

-And the green!

-Much nature!

-Oh, it's red again, we saw it already. Let's go.

A Mexican Joke

A Mexican man finds a much needed job and asks the owner to hire him. The owner says he'll hire him ONLY if he can come up with a sentence using 3 words of his choice. The words are Green, Pink and Yellow. So the Mexican thinks for a second then replies (read in a Spanish accent) the phone goes Green Green, so I Pink it up and say Yellow?

Jajaja

You can explore yellow orange reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean yellow colour dad jokes. There are also yellow puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.


Whats yellow and survives on dead beetles

Yoko Ono

Why did the elephant paint the bottom of its feet yellow?

So it could hide in a bowl of custard.

Have you ever seen an elephant in a bowl of custard? No?

That means it's working, the crafty bastards.

Why did Yellow divorce Red?

Because Red Blue Green

A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street

A man isn't paying attention when crossing the street and gets hit by a red lorry, a yellow lorry, then a red lorry, then a yellow lorry.

A policeman is despatched to inform the unfortunate man's family:

"There's no easy way to say this..."

Just found out I'm colorblind

it came out of the yellow.

Yellow joke, Just found out I'm colorblind

A black man, a blue man, a green man, a pink man, a red man and yellow man walk into a bar...

The bartender says, "We don't serve your kind in here. Too much Risk."

Joe was heading towards the end of a round of golf...

...when hit his ball into the woods and found it in a patch of pretty, yellow buttercups. Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch.

All of a sudden, POOF! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She yelled, I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups?

Just for doing what you have done, you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life.

Better still, you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life.

As a matter of fact, you'll never have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!!!

Then POOF! she was gone!

After Joe recovered from the shock, he hollered for his friend, Bill, where are you?

Bill yells back, I'm over here in the pussywillows.

Joe shouts back, 'DON'T SWING, BILL. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, DON'T SWING !

A border patrol officer stops a Mexican immigrant...

...on his way in to the U.S.
He says to the Mexican: "If you can make a whole sentence using the words Green, Pink and Yellow, Ill let you in with no delay"
The Mexican pauses to think for a few minutes then replies: "The phone goes Green-Green, I Pink it up and I say Yellow"


"This is your Captain speaking..."

"...if you look out of your window you will see a small yellow life raft floating in the sea. I am talking to you from there."

Why was the snow yellow?

Elsa let it go.

Punny wednesday

The phone rang 'green green' and so I pink up the phone.
"Yellow? Blue is this? Can you speak louder? I can't hear you purplerly, I'll call you black later."

What colour bricks?

Not sure if this has been posted before but oh well.

My Granddad told me this when I was smaller (Yes, he is still alive) .
Sorry for the horrible (Grand)dad joke!

If a red house has red bricks , a yellow house has yellow bricks, what colour bricks does a green house have?

None, a green house is made out of glass.

What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye?

Bull dozer

A white man tells a black man

Why do people call you color man ?? To what the black man answers " I don't know

When I was born; I was black.
When I started to grow, I was black.
When I go to the beach I'm black.
When I have a cold I'm still black.
When I have panic I'm black.
When I'm sick I'm black.
even when I die I continued to be black.

Instead you my friend

When you're born you're pink.
When you start to grow you are white.
When you go to the beach you look red.
When you're cold you look blue.
When you have panic you look yellow.
When you're sick you look green.
When you die you turn gray ....

And they still dare to call me a color man

An old man was sitting on a bus. A young man sat down beside him.

He had spiked hair in all different colors: green, red, orange, blue and yellow. The old man Just stared.

Every time the young man looked,the old man was staring. The young man finally said sarcastically, "What's the matter old timer, never done anything wild in your life?"
Without batting an eye, the old man replied, "Got drunk once and had sex with a parrot. I was just wondering if you were my son.

A friend told me that all apples were yellow...

I was like, "that's bananas"

Why was yellow angry at red?

Red blue green.

"Darling, your teeth are like stars."

"So yellow and so far apart..."

I call my Asian friend Spongebob

Because he's yellow and can't drive

Afraid your kid might be a commie?

Well if he paints one of his bedroom walls red with some yellow stars or a hammer and sickle, that's a huge red flag.

Keep saying yellow and soon enough

It'll sound like you're saying gullible.

I was at an art gallery.

"Absolutely beautiful, isn't it?" I asked the guy next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey. The way the colours intertwine. Truly remarkable."

He stepped away from the urinal and left.

Jake went over to pick up his girlfriend to go on a date.

When he found her naked, he asked why.
"Well, because I don't have any dresses to wear!"
"Sure you do," Jake replied, opening her closet. "Here's a blue one, a red one, a green one- oh, hi Francis- a yellow one..."

Everybody should be treated equally

It doesn't matter if you're black, yellow or normal.

What is big, yellow and can't swim?

A bus full of children

What's yellow and up in the sky?

An Asian that stepped on a land mine.

What is yellow, has 38 eyes, and can't swim?

A School Bus.

What's big, yellow, and can't swim?

A bus full of kids

What is yellow, has one arm and can't swim?

- an excavator

Do you think that's funny?
Well, the excavator operator doesn't

A Mexican gets caught by a border patrol agent..

The border patrol agent says to the Mexican,
"If you can put these 3 words in a sentence I will let you go. The words are green, pink and yellow."

The Mexican thinks for a second,
"The phone goes green green green, I pink it up and I say yellow."

What's the difference between a traffic light and a banana?

With a traffic light, green means go, yellow means wait, and red means stop.

But with a banana, green means wait, yellow means go, and red means OH MY GOD, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR BANANA!?!

(courtesy of my 12 yr old)

*

How do you peel a banana?

1. Get banana sunburned. Banana will soon begin to peel.

2. Scare banana. Grab skin when it jumps out of it.

3. Hypnotize banana. Tell banana it is a snake. Banana will shed skin.

4. Call banana yellow. Banana will want to fight. Will remove jacket.

Just found out i was colourblind.

Well that came completely out of the yellow

Watson found Holmes busily painting the front door bright yellow.

"What on earth is that, Holmes?"

"It's a lemon entry, my dear Watson."

What's yellow and you will die if it falls on you from a tree?

A tractor.

What's yellow and eats nuts?

Syphilis

What's yellow and feeds on dead beatles?

Yoko Ono

What do you call a green bat that walks across a yellow bridge?

I don't know, but at least it isn't a repost

"Doctor doctor I think I'm going deaf."

"What are the symptoms?"

"A yellow cartoon family."

What do Wasps wear in the winter?

Yellow Jackets.

I believe everyone deserves to be treated equally.

It shouldn't matter if you're brown, black, yellow, or normal!

A man goes to the doctors as he thinks he's going deaf

What are the symptoms? The doctor asks

They're that yellow family that live in Springfield

I am not racist

I dont care if you are black, yellow or normal.

Two Irishmen are talking ...

One says to the other "Y'know, green is my favourite colour in the whole world! In fact, I like it more than blue and yellow combined!"

Green is my favorite color.

I like it better than blue and yellow combined.

(dad joke) A Dad was helping his daughter study for her drivers permit test.

Dad: What do you when the light is green?

Daughter: Go.

Dad: What do you do when the light is red?

Daughter: Stop.

Dad: What do you do when the light is yellow?

Daughter: Slow down

Dad: **WWHHHAAATTTT DDOOOO YOUUUUU DOOOO WHEEEENNNN THEEEEE LIIIIIIIIGHTTT TURRRRNNNSSSS YELLLOOOOOW?**

Yellow cars have the highest crash rate

According to a recent pole

A boy asks his dad "Dad what's an alcoholic?"

Dad replied: "Well son, do you see those 2 yellow cars over there? An alcoholic would see 4"

The son responded: "But dad, I can only see 1 car"

Came home the other day and my grandpa turned me into a young, slow-witted boy with a yellow shirt.

I was Morty-fied

Q: Why is a man's pee yellow and his sperm white?

A: So he can tell if he is coming or going.

If you pay for nudes, you need to paint yourself yellow and change your name to Homer.

Because you're a simp son.

Here's a joke my 5yo told us last night

What do you call a pineapple with no yellow part?

A cactus.

What do the colors green, pink, and yellow have in common with a phone?

The phone rings green....green.....green, so you pink it up and say yellow.

A man is home and sees a gorilla hanging on his backyard tree.

So he naturally picks up the yellow pages and calls the Gorilla Removal services. The professional arrives in less than ten minutes, and gets off his van with a pole, a ladder, a dog, a shotgun and handcuffs. He says "I see it's a male gorilla, so I'm taking the ladder up the tree and poke him with this pole. He's gonna fall, and my dog is trained to bite the crouch, so when the gorilla protects his groins, I handcuff him and bring him back to the wild. Hold this gun, please". The man asks "what do I do with it?", and the guy "If I fall from the tree, shoot the dog".

There was this punk who got on a bus. He sat next to an old man who started staring at him because he was dressed in really colorful clothing.

He had all this colorful make-up on and his hair was spiked up with red, green, & yellow with feathers. The punk was getting sick of being stared at so he said to the old man, "Hey, old man, what are you lookin' at,eh? Didn't you do anything strange when you were a teenager?" "Well, yeah," the old man answered. "Once I got so drunk that I screwed a parrot, so I can't help but think that maybe you're my son!"

Homer Simpson takes his yellow, spiky-haired son to a bar. The bartender pulls up a shotgun and aims it at the boy.

I regret saying this, but the bartender lives up to his name.

When life gives you...

...High Fructose Corn Syrup, Citric Acid, Ascorbic Acid, Maltodextrin, Sodium Acid Pyrophosphate, Magnesium Oxide, Calcium Furmarate, Yellow #5, Tocopherol and less than 2% natural flavors...

...Make lemonade.

My wife made up this joke in a dream and woke herself up laughing...

Q: How do you tell the difference between a Golder Retriever and a Dalmatian?

A: You get down on the floor and spin them around real fast. One of them is yellow and the other one is gray.

Told to me by a six year old.

Why was the snow yellow?

Because Elsa let it go!


I am a waiter and I have regular family every week on Monday. I exchange jokes with the youngest boy and he always wins free dessert. This week however he won a free meal for the whole family. I laughed til I made yellow snow

Edit. Did not know it was my cake day! I think this is my first joke post. Just wanted to share.

What is yellow and can't swim?

A school bus.

In a banana republic

the traffic lights go from green to yellow to brown.

This is probably the only funny joke I know.

I went to the doctor the other day because I was having hearing problems.

He told me to describe my symptoms.

I told him, "Sure. They're yellow. Homer's fat and Marge has blue hair."

What's big, yellow and doesn't float?

An excavator.

Didn't think that was funny?
Neither did the driver

My girlfriend said she'll leave me if I don't support LGBTQ

That's a bit of a red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet flag.

I visited an art gallery.

"Absolutely gorgeous, don't you think?" I asked the fellow next to me. "The way the yellow combines with the grey...the way the colours intertwine. Truly beautiful."



He slowly stepped away from the urinal and left.

Batman and Robin get ready for patrol

Batman: You ready Robin?

Robin: I'm not sure about this costume Batman. It's so bright and red. And why do I have to wear a silly yellow cape?

Batman: Well, we're superheroes Robin. We got to dress the part.

Robin: I'm still not sure about this Batman. I mean, you aren't dressed in any bright colors at all!

Batman: Well, if I did that then they'll be shooting at me and not you now wouldn't they? And didn't I train you to be the greatest acrobat in the world? So why all the worrying? The other ones never complained about this, they loved being heroes, god rest their souls.

Bad eye sight (Possibly a repost but I didn't want to keep scrolling past page 30276 to confirm)

Patient: doctor i think my eye sight is deteriorating. I cant see very far


Doctor: really? come over to the window. Now what is that big round yellow thing in the sky?


Patient: well that's the sun


Doctor: yep! so how much further do you want to see

Which crayon at the Crayola factory is in charge of answering the phones?

Yellow?

Yo mama's teeth are so yellow...

She stood on a street corner and smiled, and traffic slowed down

I hit a cat backing out of my driveway

I'm surprised I didn't see it. It was bright yellow, 50 feet, and weighed 40 tons.

What's yellow and comes in the morning to brighten every parent's day?

The school bus.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the yellow jaundice jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working yellow colourblind piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

Joko Jokes