Yell Jokes
130 yell jokes and hilarious yell puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about yell that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Discover how midnight yell jokes can be used to lift the spirits of a crowd. Learn how a yell leader can make use of bawls, cries and more to get the audience laughing in no time. Find out the best strategies for incorporating these techniques into your next event!
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Funniest Yell Short Jokes
Short yell jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yell humour may include short yelp jokes also.
- How do you break up two blind guys fighting? Yell, "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
- My girlfriend yelled at me today saying, "You weren't even listening just now, were you?!" I thought, "Man, what a weird way to start a conversation."
- I just read a list of "100 Things To Do Before You Die". I was pretty surprised that "yell for help" wasn't one of them.
- After my dad died, I went to his favorite park to scatter his remains A park employee came running, yelling "STOP! You cant do that here!"
I said "Why not?"
He said "You have to cremate him first!" - Hipsters I had the joy of meeting a couple of hipsters today, and they yelled at me for making fun of them. Apparently the politically correct term is "conjoined twins".
- Guy runs into a bar, yells "Quick! How tall is a penguin?" Bartender says "Three feet tall."
Guy says "Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!" - A physicist sees a young man about to jump off the Empire State Building... He yells "Don't do it! You have so much potential!"
- One man in the crowd then yelled Yes, but is it the Catholic god you don't believe in or the Protestant one?
- My wife yelled at me "are you even listening to me" I said "that's a funny way to start a conversation"
- I saw two blind men fighting And I yelled out "I'm rooting for the one with the knife"
Then they both ran away
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Yell One Liners
Which yell one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yell? I can suggest the ones about shouting and shouts.
- Why don't Ewoks yell inside? Because they use their Endor voices!
- The lifeguard yelled at me for peeing in the pool. I was so startled, I almost fell in.
- I once got yelled at for peeing in a pool Scared me so much I almost fell in.
- I went to a psychic… I knocked on her front door
She yelled who is it?
So I left - Why can't Ewoks yell and scream in the house? They have to use their Endor voices.
- An airplane yells at his rebellious son... .. "Watch that altitude, young man"
- How do you get 4 old ladies to yell "s**...!"? Get a 5th old lady to yell "Bingo!"
- My wife yells at me "are you even listening?!" Strange way to start a conversation.....
- What do kids yell at old people who are just trying to play? GET OFF MY LAN!
- I got caught peeing in a pool today. The lifeguard yelled so loud, I almost fell in!
- Why should you never yell into a colander? You don't want to strain your voice.
- An English bloke's gold ran away.. "A u, get back 'ere!" he yelled.
- I named my dog Syndrome.. So when he's Misbehaving I yell "Down Syndrome"
^^^Stolen - A fish swimming in a river hits into a wall and yells Dam.
- I named my dog Stains You get weird looks when you yell "come stain!" at the park.
Midnight Yell Jokes
Here is a list of funny midnight yell jokes and even better midnight yell puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Billy Idol's wife gets very upset when he's behind on the yardwork. Why just yesterday, in the midnight hour, she yelled: mow! mow! mow!
Amusing & Witty Yell Jokes for Laughter-Filled Fun
What funny jokes about yell you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean exclaims jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make yell pranks.
How do you get an 80 year-old woman to swear?
How do you get an 80 year-old woman to yell "F*c**..."?
You get another 80 year-old woman next to her to yell "BINGO"
Number 12...
A man is walking down the street when he begins to hear yelling. The man notices it's coming from the court yard of a mental hospital. Once he gets closer he notices they are all yelling the number 12. The fence being too high, he peaks through a hole into the fence to see why they are yelling twelve. To his surprise he gets poked in the eye and begins hearing everyone yell 13...13...
I was walking near the Beach When I heard someone yell "Help shark Help"...
I laughed because I knew no sharks were going to come help.
How do you get an 80-year-old woman to yell, "F**k"?
You get another 80-year-old woman right next to her to yell, "Bingo!"
Travelling Tip
Here's a little tip from me to you as an experienced traveler. Wake-up calls are the worst way to wake up. The phone rings, it's loud and you can't turn it down.
I leave the number of the room next to me.
It just rings very quietly and you hear a guy yell,
"Why are you calling me?"
Then you get up and take a shower. It's great.
What's yellow and smells like a zebra?
Lion v**....
Rude awakening
A wife went in to see a therapist and said, "I've got this problem doctor. Every time we're in bed my husband climaxes, he let's out this ear splitting yell." "My dear," the shrink said "that's completely natural. I don't see what the problem is.". "The problem," she complains, " is that it wakes me up."
What did the Frenchman yell on the roller coaster?
Yes!
How do you break up an Al-Quaeda bingo game?
Yell "B-52!"
Two kittens walk down the street together,
and as they talk, one kitten gets panicked and starts to yell:
-You won't believe what I heard the other day!!!
Τhe kitten reaches the others kitten's ear and starts whispering.
The other kitten gets a terrified look on its face and says:
-l**... EAT WHAT?
A preacher is buying a parrot
"Are you sure it doesn't scream, yell, or swear?" asked the preacher.
"Oh absolutely. It's a religious parrot," the storekeeper assures him.
"Do you see those strings on his legs? When you pull the right one, he recites the lord's prayer, and when you pull on the left he recites the 23rd Psalm."
"Wonderful!" says the preacher, "but what happens if you pull both strings?"
"I fall off my perch, you s**... fool!" screeched the parrot.
Still the best blonde joke to date..
A brunette, a redhead, and a blond escape a burning building by
climbing to the roof. The firemen are on the street below,
holding a blanket for them to jump into.
The firemen yell to the brunette, "Jump! Jump! It's your only
chance to survive!"
The brunette jumps and SWISH! The firemen y**... the blanket
away. The brunette slams into the sidewalk like a tomato.
"C'mon! Jump! You gotta jump!' say the firemen to the redhead.
"Oh no! You're gonna pull the blanket away!" says the redhead.
"No! It's brunettes we can't stand! We're OK with redheads!"
"OK" says the redhead, and she jumps. SWISH! The firemen y**... the
blanket away, and the lady is flattened on the pavement like a pancake.
Only the blonde remains on top of the building. Again, the
firemen yell "Jump! You have to jump!"
"No way! You're just gonna pull the blanket away!" yelled the blonde.
"No! Really! You have to jump! We won't pull the blanket away!"
"Look," the blonde says, "nothing you say is gonna convince me
that you're not gonna pull the blanket away! So what I want you
to do is put the blanket down, and back away from it..."
how do you get a 78 year old lady to scream f**k?!
get another 78 year old lady to yell BINGO!
waka waka!
I can't wait for the next Quantum Physicist triathlon.
I'm going to stand beside the bikes and yell out their speeds. They'll get so lost they'll end back at the starting line.
It was an accident
A father is driving with his young son who is asleep when he bumps the horn, waking his son. The father apologizes, saying it was an accident. The boy tells him he knows it was, to which the father asks how he knew it was an accident. The son replies "well you didn't yell d**... when you honked"
So there's this magical mountain...
...where people jump off, and land in a pool of whatever they yell. There are three chicks, a brown-haired girl, and brunette, and a blonde. The brown-haired girl jumps, and yells "CANDY!", and lands in a huge pool of candy. The brunette jumps off and yells "MONEY!", and lands in a pool of money. The blonde jumps and yells "CANNONBALL!".
What do liberal arts majors yell when overwhelmed?
Oh,the humanities!
A man bought a horse from a pastor of a church...
The pastor explains to him "to make the horse go yell 'Thank God!' And to make it stop yell 'Hallelujah'". He is riding the horse and gets distracted when he notices he is about to ride off a cliff and begins to yell "Hallelujah! Hallelujah!", and the horse stops just at the edge of the cliff. He wipes his sweat off and says "Phew! Thank God!".
*Old Russian joke my dad used to tell*
Mickey's Yellow Snow Dilemma...
Mickey was angry because somebody was writing "Mickey s**..." in yellow snow outside of his front door every time it snowed. He ended up going to his friend who was a cop to ask for help. The cop checked it out and took some photos and samples. A couple of days later the cop came back to Mickey:
"Well, the good news is we've figured out that the u**... came from your friend, Goofy. The bad news - it's Minnie's handwriting..."
What's yellow and lives off dead beetles?
Yoko Ono
What's yellow and can't swim?
A bulldozer.
How do you get a sweet little old lady to say F***?
Get another one to yell BINGO
My ex girlfriend and I had a safe word...
So when things would get a little too rough in the bedroom, she'd yell, "Marry me!" and I would pull out, leave her apartment, and not call her for a few weeks. Super safe.
if I'm ever trying to m**... someone...
If I'm ever trying to m**... someone and they're getting away, I'm just gonna yell "WAIT! YOU'RE ON SCARE TACTICS!"
and as they come back laughing I'll stab them 47 times in the chest.
Why did Yellow divorce Red?
Because Red Blue Green
A nice Scottish lad moves to New York.
After 6 months his mom calls him and she asks how he finds the Americans. Horrible, he says. They always yell and scream. He hates how they pound on the walls and stomp the floors. Oh pure! she says, how do you get by?
I just relax in bed, playing me bagpipes, says the lad.
I just read a list of 100 things to do before you die...
Surprisingly enough, yell for help wasn't anywhere on it.
What did carbon yell at gold while trying to get his attention?
A! U!!!
If it doesn't make sense tell it so someone out loud. Pretty sure this is my first original joke :)
A college professor asks all of his students to yell out stereotypes for a class project
For a class project, a college professor asks all of his students to brainstorm and yell out different kinds of stereotypes.
"All blonde girls are dumb!" yells a boy in the back.
"Sony!" Yells the blonde girl in the front.
Three blondes are in an elevator
Three blondes are in an elevator when the elevator suddenly stops and the lights go out. They try using their cell phones to get help, but have no luck. Even the phones are out.
After a few hours of being stuck with no help in sight, one blonde says to the others "I think the best way to call for help is by yelling together."
The others agree with the first, so they all inhale deeply and begin to yell loudly "Together, together, together."
If you're in an indoor shooting range and it starts burning down, what do you yell to warn everyone ?
Having s**... with you is like playing hide and seek
After the first 60 seconds you yell "ready or not, here I come!"
Why did the musician give his daughters the same name?
So he could yell "Anna 1, Anna 2!"
What did the homeless men yell when they hit each other with cardboard?
Pillow fight!
A class of 3rd graders return from their field trip to the farm and the teacher asks them, "what kind of noises did you hear at the farm?"
The first kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the cow go moo!"
The second kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the pig go oink!"
The third kid raises his hand and says, "I heard the farmer yell 'get off my tractor you little f**...!'"
A man walks by an insane asylum...
An man walks by an insane asylum and hears the inmates gleefully shouting "21! 21! 21" As he gets closer he sees a hole in the brick wall which he approaches so he can peek in and see what's going on. The inmates poke a stick through the hole, poking him in the eye, and yell "22! 22! 22!"
What's yellow and hurts when it gets in your eye?
Bull dozer
I yelled "shotgun", long before anyone else, but I still got to sit in the backseat.
I hate cops.
Why was yellow angry at red?
Red blue green.
What did the Ents yell as they attacked Isengard?
Ambush.
Trump's Secret Service is going to have a problem
If someone shoots at him, they will yell "Donald Duck, Donald Duck"
A man enters a bar with a revolver
He climb up a table, looked around and yell.
"WHICH ONE OF YOU SLEPT WITH MY WIFE?!"
The bar went silent for a minute when suddenly a man at the back says.
"you are gonna need more than 6 shots pal!"
Two blondes and a brunette
One day two blondes and a brunette got stuck in an elevator.
One blonde starts to yell, Help!!!
Then the other one, Help!!!
The brunette suggests, Come on girls, let's scream together, it will be louder.
OK, agree the blondes, Together!!! Together!!!
I yelled at my wife today for keeping broken condoms on the sofa
She answered that I shouldn't call our kids like that
I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe...
I met a woman with 8 sons named Joe;
I said, "They're all named Joe?"
She said "Yeah it's great! When it's time for dinner I just have to yell "Joe! Dinner!" and they all come running.
I said, "but what do you do if you just want one of them?"
She said, "Oh then I just use their last name."
What's yellow and up in the sky?
An Asian that stepped on a land mine.
How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell BINGO!
What is yellow, has 38 eyes, and can't swim?
A School Bus.
What is yellow, has one arm and can't swim?
- an excavator
Do you think that's funny?
Well, the excavator operator doesn't
There's this new cryptocurrency called Decibel. You just yell in your microphone to get money...
It's a sound investment.
Sometimes at work...
...I like to run around with a screwdriver and yell "Attention everybody! This is not a drill!"
She yells, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight, you pig!"
Everyone in the bar stops and stares.
Completely embarrassed, the guy slinks back to his table with a red face.
After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes.
She smiles and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. I'm a graduate student in psychology, and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing public situations."
To which the guy responds as loudly as possible, "What do you mean $200 for a BJ?"
What's yellow and you will die if it falls on you from a tree?
A tractor.
What's yellow and eats nuts?
s**...
What's yellow and feeds on dead beatles?
Yoko Ono
I got yelled at in LA today for singing Christmas Carols.
I guess they don't wanna hear about how the weather outside is frightful, but the fire is so delightful.
A blonde and a brunette are stuck in the elevator
Blonde: Help! Help!
Brunette: We should yell together!
Blonde: Together! Together!
My favorite winter Olympic sport is women's curling...
Because it's the one time every four years I can yell, sweep harder at a woman, and no one thinks it's because I'm a sexist pig.
There was freedom of speech in the Soviet Union, just like in USA
You can stand in front of the White House and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.
Equally, you can also stand in Red Square in Moscow and yell, "Down with Reagan!", and you will not be punished.
Jesus is on the cross..
..fading fast he yells to his disciple Paul.
"Paul come to me my child. Come to me!"
Paul musters all his strength to break through the crowd.
"Yes my lord, I am coming to you"
Jesus continues to yell for Paul. Paul now crying falls at Jesus feet....
"Yes my lord!!!?"
"Paul, I can see your house from here".
Two boys are staying at grandmas doing nightly prayers
Two boys are staying at grandmas doing nightly prayers. The first boy quietly asks God for a puppy, the second boy shouts "PLEASE LORD LET ME HAVE A NEW BIKE". The first boy says to the other boy "you don't need to yell I'm sure God can hear you", the second boy says "I know he can but grandma needs to".
What do Romans yell when the golf ball is coming toward you?
IV
What did the protons yell as they rushed into battle?
*CHARGE!*
I learned from experience that the thing girls want most from life is security.
Anytime I approach one of them, they usually yell, Security!
How do you stop a fight between two blind people?
You yell "My money's on the guy with the knife!"
"GIVE IT TO ME!" She screamed. "I'm so wet right now!"
She can yell all she wants, I'm keeping my umbrella.
I want to get a race horse, and name it My Face.
Just so I can hear people in the stands yell, Come on, My Face!!
My grandpa used to say that what women want is security, and I have to admit he was right.
That's what they yell for when I start talking to them.
Who does a Karen yell at if her computer isn't working?
The task manager
What do English speakers yell when they're on a rollercoaster?
Weeeeeeeeeeee!!!!
What do Spanish speakers yell when they're on a roller coaster?
Nosotros!!!!!
How do you make three old ladies all yell profanity at the same time?
Have the forth one yell " BINGO!".
Three men were about to be executed by the firing squad.
The first man was brought forward and before they could shoot him he yelled "avalanche"! The firing squad panicked and in the confusion, the man jumped over the wall and into freedom before the firing squad could regroup.
The second man thought what the first man did was clever and when he was brought forward for his execution, he yelled "earthquake"! Again, the firing squad panicked and the second man took advantage of it to jump over the wall and into freedom.
The third man thought he saw the pattern: yell a disaster and jump over the wall. When he was finally brought forward, with a smirk on his face he yelled "fire"!
How do you break up a fight between 2 blind men?
Yell out: 'My money is on the one with a knife...'
