Yeast Jokes

Humoristic puns and funny pick up lines

What does a redneck and yeast have in common?

They are both "in-bread"

Downvote me to hell if you want. This is my only joke.

Do you know why God invented yeast infections?

So women could know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt too.

2 Dirty Jokes as told to me by a homeless guy.

If a guy with a foot fetish cheats on his wife, would you say *he got off on the wrong foot?*

**and** (no offense meant to all the women out there, I swear!)

You know why god invented the yeast infection? So that women would also know what it's like to live with a miserable cunt!

A little vulgar, I know. But it was worth the buck I gave him!

Why did God give women yeast infections?

That way they know what it's like to live with an irritating cunt.

Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread?

The middle yeast

Bread is a lot like the sun..

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

What direction did the pirate go to get his bread??

Yeast!!

Beer is like the Sun

It rises in the yeast, and sets in the Waist

What do people from Alabama have in common with yeast?

They're both in bread

Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.

The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.

The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder w/cheese.

Did you know that yeast cells are incestuous?

They're in-bread.

The sun is like bread

It rises in the yeast
And settles in the waist.

What do yeast and a redneck have in common?

They're both usually found with beer and inbred.

-&y (written by moi)

As a white person... We need more white people jokes. I've got a few here.

What do you call a bunch of White people sitting around watching black people do all the work?

The NBA

What do you call a bunch of White people chasing a black guy through a field?

The PGA

What do you call a White Girl with a yeast infection?

Crackers with Cheese.

What do you call it when a white guy tries to shoot a 3 pointer?

Sad.

Ever wondered why bread is just like the sun?

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist

Having a baby in the south is like yeast...

Y'know, cause it's in-bread.

Remembering a great icon.

Dear friends,
It is with the saddest heart that I pass on the following. Please join
me in remembering a great icon.

The Pillsbury Doughboy died yesterday of a yeast infection and
complications from repeated pokes in the belly. He was 71.

Doughboy was buried in a lightly-greased coffin. Dozens of celebrities
turned out to pay their respects, including Mrs. Butterworth, Hungry
Jack, the California Raisins, Betty Crocker, the Hostess Twinkies, and
Cap'n Crunch. The grave site was piled high with flours as long- time
friend, Aunt Jemima, delivered the eulogy, describing Doughboy as a man
who never knew how much he was kneaded. Doughboy rose quickly in show
business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not
considered a very "smart" cookie, wasting much of his dough on
half-baked schemes. Despite being a little flaky at times, he -- even
still, as a crusty old man -- was considered a roll model for millions.
Toward the end, it was thought he would rise again, but alas, he was no
tart.

Doughboy is survived by his wife, Play Dough; two children, John Dough
and Jane Dough; plus they had one in the oven. He is also survived by
his elderly father, Pop Tart.

The funeral was held at 3:50 for about twenty minutes.

What do you call a redhead with a yeast infection?

Gingerbread

(nsfw) Why did God invent yeast infections?

So women also will know what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

My coworker asked if I liked bread

Honestly, it's my yeast favourite thing.

A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth

The result was soup rising

What's the difference between a clever midget and a yeast infection?

One's a cunning runt...

What's a baker's favorite part of Manhattan?

The Lower Yeast Side.

Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?

A rake

What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?

A comb

What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?

A gulf club.

Butter makes everything taste better,

But now my girlfriend has a yeast infection.

What direction did Mr. Bread go?

Yeast.

why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover?

His girlfriend had a yeast infection

How is Kim Kardashian similar to dough?

Both are very kneady.



Also yeast, lots of yeast.

The difference between Romanian prostitute and a pizza?

You can get the pizza without the yeast...

Why was the yeast infection invented?

Because God wanted women to know what its like to live with an irritating cunt.

My mum fed me yeast and put me in the oven.

Just how I was raised.

What direction was Kanye West facing when his dough was rising?

Yeast ;D

*cringe*

Why did God invent the yeast infection?

To show girls what it's like to live with an annoying cunt.

You look like yeast

Inbred

What's it called when the Pillsbury doughboys girlfriend gets a yeast infection?

Hole wheat.

How did the flour and the yeast have a baby?

They bread.

What do you get when you cross the Pillsbury Doughboy with a Cabbage Patch roll?

An ugly little shit with a yeast infection

You mother is such a whore . . .

she was hired on the spot at Pillsbury for her extensive yeast collection!

What do hillbillies and yeast have in common?

They're both in bred

Why did the baker raise his voice?

He had a yeast inflection.

Why do women get yeast infections?

So that they too can experience what it is like to live with an irritating cunt.

Did you hear about the hillbilly yeast?

It was in bread.....

What do you call an anorexic hooker with a yeast infection?

A Quarter pounder with cheese

My ex-prostitute grandma bakes the best cakes...

She tells me the secret is her homegrown yeast.

Just before bed I take a dose of yeast with some Lemon Pledge.

It helps me rise and shine in the morning.

And then he turned to the Yeast.

And the good Lord said, "Arise, my son! Arise! And you shall be a meal!"

(45,711)

I started using kosher yeast in all my baking

Now my bread rises 3 days later

What do you get if you add yeast to soup?

A souprise

What is the most violent part of a loaf of bread?

The middle yeast

This girl with a yeast infection walks into a bar

She sits down to order a drink and the bartender walks over and says " what's with the sour puss? "

What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

Every morning you will rise and shine.

Did you see the video of the woman on her period with a yeast infection?

It was bloodcurdling.

What do you get when you cross Billy Ray Cyrus and a yeast infection?

An itchy, twitchy twat.

The Sun is similar to Beer

Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

Beer rises in yeast and sets in the waist .

Which direction do fungi travel?

yEAST

What does the British monarchy and yeast have in common?

They're both inbred.

I am a simple man with simple jokes.

A tumblrite came up to me and told me I needed to respect her being a pansexual. I said "why do you want to fuck bread? You'll get a yeast infection."

Why did the plane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread... But how did the plane take off?
Yeast Rises

What do you get when yeast throws the letter s?

Yeat.

What do yeast and West Virginians have in common?

They are both inbread

Did you hear about the female soldier who deserted her unit during combat to tend to her yeast infection?

She was sentenced with dishonorable discharge.

What do you call a red head with a yeast infection?

Gingersnatch

I used to get disgusted by people with skin yeast infections..

But now it's kinda growing on me.

Why did the fungi bring beer and bread to the party?

It was the yeast he could do.

How is a redneck like yeast?

They are both inbred

What did the breadmaker say when throwing out some bread?

Yeast

Baking

Did you hear about the baker who tried to bake bread with out yeast?

..He got naan

I like my women like I like my Matzoh: Unleavened

No Yeast.

Did you hear about the new movie in which a beautiful girl falls in love with a loaf of bread?

Its called "Beauty and the Yeast"

What do a pyrotechnician and a women with a yeast infection have in common?

Fire in the hole!

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions?

What makes the Pillsbury Doughboy rise every morning?

His girlfriend gave him a yeast infection!

What does a Redhead with a yeast infection like to do in her spare time?

Make Gingerbread

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Flatbread

What do hill billies and yeast have in commen?

they're both in bread

I have a hardcore yeast affection.

I love breads and doughs.

The pillsbury doughboy has died...

Of a yeast infection.

Why didn't the lesbian go to the bread festival?

She already gets two times the normal amount of yeast.

TIFU by rubbing yeast infection cream on my face

whoops wrong scrub

Would Mum and Dad like any of this delicious yeast extract?

Ma might.

what did the beer say when he shot a three pointer shot?

YEAST

What do you call a ginger with a yeast infection?

Cinnamon Toast Crunch

What do you call an anorexic with a....

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?
[Answer] (#s "a quarterpounder with cheese")

Why do women get yeast infections?

So they can know how it feels to live with an irritating cunt!

If I woke up with bread in my underwear...

does that mean I have a yeast infection?

*ba dum..tisss*

What did princess Leia say when she had a really bad yeast infection?

Help me ob/gyn, you're my only hope!

A mother complained to her consultant about her daughter's strange eating habits.

– All day long she lies in bed and eats yeast and car wax. What will happen to her?

– Eventually,  said the consultant,  she will rise and shine.

What's a breadsmiths favorite movie

Beutie and the yeast

How many piles of yeast does it take to destroy a tower?

9 leven

What are the funniest yeast jokes of all time?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking about Yeast? Well, here are the best Yeast puns to laugh out loud. Crazy and funny Yeast pick up lines to share with friends.

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