Yeast Jokes

Following is our collection of crumb puns and focaccia one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. Including Yeast jokes for adults, dirty candida jokes and clean bacteria dad gags for kids.

The Best Yeast Puns

Where is the most conflict in a loaf of bread?

The middle yeast

Bread is a lot like the sun..

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.

What direction did the pirate go to get his bread??

Yeast!!

What do people from Alabama have in common with yeast?

They're both in bread

Dough Boy

Veteran Pillsbury spokesman Pop N. Fresh died Wednesday of a severe yeast infection. He was 71.

He was buried Friday in one of the biggest funerals in years. Dozens of celebrities turned out including Mrs. Butterworth, the California Raisins, Hungry Jack, Betty Crocker, and the Hostess Twinkies.

The graveside was piled high with flours, as longtime friend Aunt Jemima delivered the eulogy, describing Fresh as a man who "never knew he was kneaded".

Fresh rose quickly in show business, but his later life was filled with turnovers. He was not considered a smart cookie, and wasted much of his dough on half-baked schemes.

Still, even as a crusty old man, he was a roll model to millions. Fresh is survived by his second wife. They had two children, and one in the oven.

The funeral was at 3:50 for 20 minutes.


What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder w/cheese.

Did you know that yeast cells are incestuous?

They're in-bread.

What do you get if you cross shoe polish with yeast?

Loafers that rise and shine

What do yeast and a redneck have in common?

They're both usually found with beer and inbred.

-&y (written by moi)

As a white person... We need more white people jokes. I've got a few here.

What do you call a bunch of White people sitting around watching black people do all the work?

The NBA

What do you call a bunch of White people chasing a black guy through a field?

The PGA

What do you call a White Girl with a yeast infection?

Crackers with Cheese.

What do you call it when a white guy tries to shoot a 3 pointer?

Sad.

Ever wondered why bread is just like the sun?

It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist


Having a baby in the south is like yeast...

Y'know, cause it's in-bread.

What do you call a redhead with a yeast infection?

Gingerbread

My coworker asked if I liked bread

Honestly, it's my yeast favourite thing.

A chef accidentally put yeast in his broth

The result was soup rising

What's the difference between a clever midget and a yeast infection?

One's a cunning runt...

What's a baker's favorite part of Manhattan?

The Lower Yeast Side.

Ethiopian jokes I've heard from over the years.

What do you call an Ethiopian with a yeast infection?

A quarter pounder with cheese

What do you call an Ethiopian with buck teeth?

A rake

What do you call 10 Ethiopians carrying a canoe over their heads?

A comb

What do you call an Ethiopian with a club foot?

A gulf club.

I caught my wife adding yeast to my beloved flatbread recipe;

But I know she's just trying to get a rise out of me


What direction did Mr. Bread go?

Yeast.

Butter makes everything taste better,

But now my girlfriend has a yeast infection.

The difference between Romanian prostitute and a pizza?

You can get the pizza without the yeast...

why couldn't the rabbi eat out during passover?

His girlfriend had a yeast infection

Beer is just like the suns journey.

It rises in the yeast, and sets in the waist.

How is Kim Kardashian similar to dough?

Both are very kneady.



Also yeast, lots of yeast.

What direction was Kanye West facing when his dough was rising?

Yeast ;D

*cringe*

My mum fed me yeast and put me in the oven.

Just how I was raised.

How did the flour and the yeast have a baby?

They bread.

You look like yeast

Inbred

What's it called when the Pillsbury doughboys girlfriend gets a yeast infection?

Hole wheat.

Why did the girl eat yeast and shoe polish before bed?

She wanted to rise and shine in the morning!

Difference between Sun and Bun. Sun rises in the East and sets in the West..........

............Bun rises in Yeast and sets in the Waist.

What do hillbillies and yeast have in common?

They're both in bred

What is the wealthy dude who makes bread on YouTube called?

Mr Yeast

Why did the baker raise his voice?

He had a yeast inflection.

Did you hear about the hillbilly yeast?

It was in bread.....

What is the most violent part of a loaf of bread?

The middle yeast

My ex-prostitute grandma bakes the best cakes...

She tells me the secret is her homegrown yeast.

Just before bed I take a dose of yeast with some Lemon Pledge.

It helps me rise and shine in the morning.

I started using kosher yeast in all my baking

Now my bread rises 3 days later

What do you get if you add yeast to soup?

A souprise

And then he turned to the Yeast.

And the good Lord said, "Arise, my son! Arise! And you shall be a meal!"

(45,711)

Which direction do fungi travel?

yEAST

The Sun is similar to Beer

Sun rises in the east and sets in the west.

Beer rises in yeast and sets in the waist .

What happens if you eat yeast and shoe polish?

Every morning you will rise and shine.

This girl with a yeast infection walks into a bar

She sits down to order a drink and the bartender walks over and says " what's with the sour puss? "

Did you see the video of the woman on her period with a yeast infection?

It was bloodcurdling.

The girl and the pastry chefs

There once was a girl who kept being followed by pastry chefs wearing cook hats. After countless days of being followed, she asked her friend if she could tell her why the chefs were following her. The friend replied "you really need to do something about that yeast infection."

Baking

Did you hear about the baker who tried to bake bread with out yeast?

..He got naan

What did the breadmaker say when throwing out some bread?

Yeast

What do you get when yeast throws the letter s?

Yeat.

How is a redneck like yeast?

They are both inbred

I used to get disgusted by people with skin yeast infections..

But now it's kinda growing on me.

What do yeast and West Virginians have in common?

They are both inbread

Why did the fungi bring beer and bread to the party?

It was the yeast he could do.

Did you hear about the female soldier who deserted her unit during combat to tend to her yeast infection?

She was sentenced with dishonorable discharge.

What does the British monarchy and yeast have in common?

They're both inbred.

Why did the plane crash?

The pilot was a loaf of bread... But how did the plane take off?
Yeast Rises

what did the beer say when he shot a three pointer shot?

YEAST

I like my women like I like my Matzoh: Unleavened

No Yeast.

Would Mum and Dad like any of this delicious yeast extract?

Ma might.

Did you hear about the new movie in which a beautiful girl falls in love with a loaf of bread?

Its called "Beauty and the Yeast"

The pillsbury doughboy has died...

Of a yeast infection.

What do a pyrotechnician and a women with a yeast infection have in common?

Fire in the hole!

What do you call an anorexic with a yeast infection?

Flatbread

TIFU by rubbing yeast infection cream on my face

whoops wrong scrub

How to raise a kid?

I injected my kid with yeast and put him in the oven for 30 minutes but he didn't rise. Any suggestions?

What makes the Pillsbury Doughboy rise every morning?

His girlfriend gave him a yeast infection!

Why didn't the lesbian go to the bread festival?

She already gets two times the normal amount of yeast.

I have a hardcore yeast affection.

I love breads and doughs.

What does a Redhead with a yeast infection like to do in her spare time?

Make Gingerbread

Did you hear about the pregnant redhead with a yeast infection?

She just gave birth to a healthy baby gingerbread man.

So I drank Three beers and now it burns when I pee...

Do I have a yeast infection?

Did you hear about the woman who died of a yeast infection?

She was a Jane Dough

What do you have in a room filled with women, half with PMS and the other half with a yeast infection?

A whine and cheese party

Why can't the pilsbury dough boy get a hooker?

They keep getting yeast infections

What do you call it when a woman with a yeast infection has an early abortion? (NSFW)

A quarter pounder with cheese.

What does an Alabaman and yeast have in common

They're both inbred.

Did you hear about the yeast who would always get drunk?

He was a fungi

What do the sun and a loaf of bread have in common?

They both rise in the yeast.

What do you call an Australian girl with a yeast infection?

A blooming onion

Why did the rich man sell yeast?

To raise some dough.

I love it when Yeast comes to parties!

He's a fungi.

Stop making ethanol from ethene!

It's the yeast you could do...

You know a yeast infection is bad when

The doctor prescribes a herbacide.

What did the yeast say to the flour?

Do you want to make some dough, Sugar?

What do you call a skinny woman with a yeast infection?

Flat bread

Did you guys hear, the Pillsbury Doughboy passed away.

The doctor said he got a bad yeast infection.

What are crusty girlfriends good for?

Fermenting yeast!

What do you call a British woman with a yeast infection?

An English muffin

There is an abundance of sourdough jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 90 funniest jokes and yeast puns. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any grain witze you can hear about yeast.

Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.

Joko Jokes