Following is our collection of funniest Years jokes. There are some years generations jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud. Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these years fourty puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
You see, it used to get cold outside
I don't get it. I've lived here for 273 years and not noticed anything strange.
Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day!
12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it
Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
I've had a Canon printer for years.
"where have you been the last 20 years?"
The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.
You can explore years yrs reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean years month dad jokes. There are also years puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
My girlfriend of 5 years asked me when was the last time I had sex with someone before her.
I said "back in '09". It sounds much better than saying September.
"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"
## I say ofcourse he was Jewish
+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift
## He's Jewish. Give it up
****
_by Robin Williams_
Happy Birthday Robin!
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"
He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
I now live in constant fear
Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
I had no idea he was a barber.
The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
I've been a customer of his for 15 years and I didn't even know he cut hair.
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when erect."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night
I don't have 2020 vision
I said well it was 65 millions years old when I was hired here, and that was 3 weeks ago.
My wife's still really angry about it but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was a great idea
But I haven't touched it in years.
I'm sorry to anyone who gets it.
Turns out her sister had it all along...
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a sex change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a sex change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."
I guess it will be 5050
To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
Happy Mother's Day!
24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
Because for the last 200 years they've been told that three inches are actually six.
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to hell? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"
Now they're spreading like wildfire.
Her husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"
We in Russia get results 20 years before the elections.
Worse news: it was an acceptance letter to art school.
So, to cheer myself up, I bought a puppy.
Lose an election.
We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today
the dry erase board has to be the most remarkable
A weeping woman bursts into her hypnotist's office
"I have been faithful to my husband for 15 years, but yesterday I had an affair!" she sobbed.
"The guilt is killing me. I just want to forget that it never happened!"
The hypnotherapist shakes his head and sighs. "Not again...."
Wife: Honey, do you know what today is?
Husband: I believe it is our 50th wedding anniversary.
Wife: Thats right. Do you remember what we were doing right now 50 years ago?
Husband: We were sitting at this very table, eating breakfast naked.
Wife: Thats right. Want to do it again?
Husband: Sure.
*both remove clothes and sit back down*
Wife: Honey, my breasts are as hot as they were 50 years ago.
Husband: Yes they are, one is in your coffee and one is in your oatmeal.
...the judge gave me 15 years in prison
There's no ballroom.
Friend told me this a couple years ago. I was reminded today, by wearing skinny jeans and tugging at my crotch the entire time.
That's mean
"The man who views the world at 50 the same as he did at 20 has wasted 20 years of his life."
They got together and made a joke years ago yet people are still laughing.
That's funny; I've lived here for 245 years, and I haven't noticed anything strange.
But the look of joy in his eyes whenever I answer him is worth the world.
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the years 80 year old jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working years a 7 and 4 year olds piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.