Following is our collection of yrs humor and generations one-liner funnies working better than reddit jokes. They include Years puns for adults, dirty month jokes or clean fourty gags for kids.
There is an abundance of 80 year old jokes out there. You're fortunate to read a set of the 58 funniest jokes on years. Full with funny wisecracks it is even funnier than any a 7 and 4 year olds witze you can hear about years.
You see, it used to get cold outside
I don't have 2020 vision
I don't get it. I've lived here for 273 years and not noticed anything strange.
He replies: "She looks great! She is in good health! She will still live for many years! Next week she will be released from the hospital and will come and live with us, forever!"
"Wow that's amazing!" - says the wife - "But this is very strange, dear... yesterday she seemed to be on her deathbed, the doctors said she should have a few days to live!"
"Well, I don't know how she was yesterday" - he replied - "But today when I arrived at the hospital, the doctor told me that we should prepare for the worst"
Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day!
12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
What are you reading, old man? he asks.
I'm learning Hebrew, comrade, replies the old Jew.
The KGB agent asks, What are you learning Hebrew for? You know it takes years to get a permission to travel to Israel? You will die before you get one.
I'm learning Hebrew for when I go to heaven so I can speak with Moses and Abraham, replies the old man.
How do you know you're going to heaven? What if you go to hell? asks the KGB agent.
I already speak Russian."
But when I got out of prison, it was totally worth it
Some tourists in the Museum of Natural History are marveling at some dinosaur bones. One of them asks the guard, "Can you tell me how old the dinosaur bones are?"
The guard replies, "They are 65,000,011 years old."
"That's an awfully exact number," says the tourist. "How do you know their age so precisely?"
The guard answers, "Well, the dinosaur bones were sixty five million years old when I started working here, and that was eleven years ago."
Teacher: racecar
{10 years later}
Boy: [bursting out of bank in ski mask] where's the palindrome
Getaway driver: [sitting in kayak]
I always thought they were going to hit me, not that they were going to destroy the housing market 20 years later.
I've had a Canon printer for years.
"where have you been the last 20 years?"
24 years in to their marriage unfortunately
I guess it will be 5050
The judge gave me 50 years. Problem solved.
They wanted an expert on dropping the ball at the last second.
Now they're spreading like wildfire.
To cheer myself up I bought a puppy.
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when erect."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
He reminded her that Nelson Mandela wasn't elected President until after he had served 27 years in prison.
The Chinese built a wall 2,000 years ago - and they still don't have any Mexicans!
Which is why there's an increased chance that they will see you later.
But I haven't touched it in years.
I'm sorry to anyone who gets it.
So I bought a puppy to cheer myself up!
Because for the last 200 years they've been told that three inches are actually six.
I had no idea he was a barber.
Turns out her sister had it all along...
Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either
I hate it when my kid cries in the middle of the night
I've been a customer of his for 15 years and I didn't even know he cut hair.
I now live in constant fear
A man goes into a job interview, and presents himself well.
The employer is shocked at how professional he is, "Wow, you have an incredible resume, and present yourself fantastically, but you seem to be missing 5 years on this part of your resume. What happened there?"
The man replied "Oh that's when I went to Yale."
The employer is even more impressed. "That's great, you're hired!"
The man is super happy and says "Yay I got a yob!"
Her husband says: "Looks like he's still celebrating!"
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"
"Jeremy, you've been a doctor for over 8 years now, please stop starting every phone conversation we have with that."
It's really my own fault. I had a double major in psychology and reverse psychology.
## I say ofcourse he was Jewish
+ 30 years old, Single, Living at home with his parents
+ Working in his father's business
+ His mother thought he was God's gift
## He's Jewish. Give it up
****
_by Robin Williams_
Happy Birthday Robin!
My wife's still really angry about it but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was a great idea
Taking some time to be single after an abusive relationship is really important.
Happy Mother's Day!
Since then, my mugging attempts have been a lot more successful.
I should have known, there were red flags everywhere
An eight-year old boy had never spoken a word. One afternoon, as he sat eating his lunch he turned to his mother and said, The soup is cold."
His astonished mother exclaimed, Son, I've waited so long to hear you speak. But all these years you never said a thing. Why haven't you spoken before?"
The boy looked at her and replied, Up until now, everything has been satisfactory."
I said well it was 65 millions years old when I was hired here, and that was 3 weeks ago.
Mom and I, her 27-year-old son, had had an argument about my clothes. She pointed to a hole in my shirt and said, "There's a big hole in your shirt!"
I responded, "Yeah? Well there's a big hole in your face and dumb things keep coming out of it," pointing to her mouth.
Without a pause, she snaps back, "Not nearly as dumb as the thing that fell out of my other hole 27 years ago."
After being unhappy for many years my mother came to me and said she was going to get a sex change operation. I didn't fully understand but I was very supportive throughout the whole operation, then he came home.
That's when it all started, all the time all day long horrible dad jokes, terrible puns and all around just awful humor. After a few weeks and being fed up, I realized something and I confronted them.
"Did you seriously just have a sex change operation just for the dad jokes?!" I asked.
He replied, "Oh you could see right through me, I must be so trans-parent."
11 years old and he still doesn't know my name is Dave...
If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.
The kid is 8 years old, cute, thin and not really tall.
My girlfriend of 5 years asked me when was the last time I had sex with someone before her.
I said "back in '09". It sounds much better than saying September.
Because they spend years at C.
"What's wrong, dear?" she asks.
"Do you remember 20 years ago, when your father caught us having sex in the back of his police car?"
"I remember," she says.
"And when he told me to marry you right then, or he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
"Of course I remember," she says. "But why are you crying?"
"I would have gotten out today."
Your vacuum cleaner has been gathering dirt on you for years.
We never went back to Thailand.
The pallbearers accidentally bump into a wall and hear a faint moan. They open the casket and find out that the woman is actually alive.
She lives for 10 more years and then dies. There is another funeral for her. At the end of the service, the pallbearers carry out the casket.
As they are walking out, the husband cries out, "Watch out for the wall!"
Apparently it's against the rules to make personal attacks on someone even after they've been dead for over 70 years.
5x0=0
Use only working piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Note that dirty and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. You can seriously offend people by saying creepy dark humor words to them.