Yearly Jokes
39 yearly jokes and hilarious yearly puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about yearly that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
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Funniest Yearly Short Jokes
Short yearly jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yearly humour may include short annual jokes also.
- Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in tree? Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me - My housemates are convinced our house is haunted I don't get it. I've lived here for 273 years and not noticed anything strange.
- I've decided that from January 1st, I'm only going to watch things that are 1080p and above. It's my new year's resolution.
- Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day. Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.
- Why do the election results take so long? It's a race between two 70+ year old men. What do you expect?
- If this year has taught us anything, it's that donald trump is a regular American citizen He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
- I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday.
That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1 - The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife... Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day! - My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
- I like my women like I like my whiskey. 12 years old and mixed up with coke.
Disclaimer: This is just a joke, i do not condone the practice of mixing whiskey with coke.
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Yearly One Liners
Which yearly one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yearly? I can suggest the ones about monthly and seasonal.
- I hate when people ask how I see myself in 3 years I don't have 2020 vision
- Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying? Midlife crisis
- We cannot allow this year to end That would be admitting that 2021
- Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying? They were having a mid-life crisis.
- Today is the last time I will see my 80 year old grandpa Because tomorrow he turns 81!
- Trump has done in 4 years what 80% of presidents fail to do in 8 years Lose an election.
- I bought a theremin But I haven't touched it in years.
I'm sorry to anyone who gets it. - This subreddit is 10 years old now. I'm surprised it hasn't decade.
- Which country has the fastest growing capitol? Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
- Today I celebrated my 365th day sober!! And it only took me 14 years
- Virginity is like a car Once you've had it 25 years, nobody else wants it either
- I threw a boomerang a few years ago I now live in constant fear
- 2020 has been brutal this year Now it's just Ruthless
- What's the difference between 9/11 and a cow? Can't milk a cow for 21 years.
- I'm 36 but have the body an 18-year-old The police are pretty upset about it.
Yearly Salary Jokes
Here is a list of funny yearly salary jokes and even better yearly salary puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- At the job interview, I asked what is the salary like. They said I'll start at minimum wage and make double of that in two years. Ok, I'll be back in two years.
- Wanted: Personal psychic for wealthy client. Salary: $10,000 per week plus bonuses.
Free accommodation.
10 weeks paid leave per year.
Company car.
Generous pension scheme.
You know where to apply. - My yearly salary is over six figures. I bring in a cool $27,739.48 per year.
- Fun Presidential Trivia The annual salary of Commander-in-Chief is legally set at $400,000 per year. Except for our next one, who will only make $316,000 (or 79% to every man's dollar).
- What is a primate's ideal salary? A gorillian dollars per year.
Cheerful Fun Yearly Jokes to Brighten Your Day with Humor and Joy
What funny jokes about yearly you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean daily jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make yearly pranks.
A Priest working in a remote parish in Greenland gets his yearly visit from his Bishop.
The Bishop asks him, "How are you managing with the loneliness?"
The Priest responds, " If it wasn't for my Rosary and my whiskey, I couldn't make it. Would you like a shot of whiskey?"
The Bishop nods his head yes.
The Priest yells out, "Hey Rosary, bring us two shots of whisky "
A Man Goes to the Doctor . . .
A man goes to the doctor for his yearly checkup, and the doctor says to him, "Well, I've got some bad news for you. It seems that you've been m**... too much. I'm afraid you're going to have to stop m**...."
The man, shocked to find this out, responds "Wait, what do you mean!? Stop m**...? When can I start again?"
The doctor responds, "Well I'd appreciate it if you waited until you left my office."
*
I work as a Customs Officer and yesterday I had my yearly performance review.
They feel I'm borderline incompetent.
Check-up
An old man goes to the doctor for his yearly physical, his wife tagging along. When the doctor enters the examination room, he tells the old man, "I need a u**... sample, a stool sample and a s**... sample."
The old man, being hard of hearing, looks at his wife and yells: "WHAT?"
"What did he say? What's he want?"
His wife yells back, "He needs your underwear."
A senior citizen goes to yearly physical
The doctor asks for u**... sample, stool sample and s**... sample
The man being hard of hearing, turns to his wife and asks "what did he say?"
The wife yells back to him "GIVE HIM YOUR UNDERWEAR "
At a conference a s**... therapist was discussing his book s**... in a Marriage
The therapist asked the audience how many couples have s**... daily about 20% of the audience raised their hands
then he asked how many couples have s**... weekly about 30% raised their hands
then he asked how many couples have s**... monthly the remaining audience raised their hands
Finally he asked how many have s**... yearly o**... in the back stood up smiling his hand stood
the therapist asked why are you so happy if you only have s**... one time a year ?
the guy answered because today's the day
A man walks into the doctor
A man walks into the doctor for his yearly check up. The doctor runs some tests on the man and after reads him the results.
"Well sir, I've got some bad news. It looks like you've only got a few hours to live."
The man replies: "Well I'd like a second opinion."
The doctor retorts: "You're ugly too."
My yearly cake day joke
A grasshopper walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender comes over to him and says:
Hey, you know something? We've got a drink named after you!
The grasshopper looks up at the bartender and says:
You've got a drink named Steve?!?
Trip to the Doctor
Earlier today I was at the doctors office for my yearly physical but my regular Doctor was out. So in walks this beautiful blonde Doctor with the most amazing body... needless to say I was a little taken aback. She said she was fresh out of Medical School and had recently joined my regular Doctors practice. Halfway through my physical, she told me that I would need to stop m**..., when I asked "why?" she replied: "I'm not done giving you the physical".
So I went in for my yearly physical...
The nurse went through the regular motions. Then it came time for me to drop my pants and turn my head and cough. While she's examining me, she exclaims "You really should quit m**...". I asked her why, and if something was wrong, and she responded "Yes, I'm trying to give you an exam!"
The Russian Potato Crop The Agricultural managers always have to report the yearly crop numbers to the Chairman, and they always lie a little to make themselves look good. But one year the potato crop is very bad.
The potatoes are small, and there aren't very many of them. But the managers tell the Chairman, "There are so many potatoes! We have made a huge mountain of them, that reaches all the way up to God." the Chairman says, "Don't be silly now, you know God doesn't really exist." The managers look at each other and then one of them says "Neither do the potatoes."
Doctor's Office
A man is called into the doctor's office for his yearly checkup. When he enters the office, the doctor tells the man that he needs to stop m**....
The man is taken aback. Angrily, he asks the doctor why.
The doctor says "So I can examine you."
Medical checkup
An elderly man goes to the doctor for his yearly medical checkup.
The doctor, a kindly man with a slight stutter, asks his patient:
"So, how's the prost-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-tate doing?"
The man thinks for a moment, then replies:
"Well... you could say I pee the way you speak."
The year is 2089. All policemen have been replaced by genetically modified dogs.
The amount of people killed by police yearly went down 90% and a recent poll that asked "Do you like the police?" showed that public opinion of the force went up 64%.
How was this accomplished?
Dogs are colorblind.
Just got my free yearly car wash
Thanks California!
It must be pretty funny to work at a gym in January.
You get to count how many people buy yearly memberships and instantly break their New Years resolutions in the following weeks.
I went to a meeting to decide the title for a yearly book on hills and mountains.
Annual: Summit
TIFU: gave day an hour.
Now it's opened a daylight savings account and expects yearly donations.
