The Best 88 Year Jokes
Following is our collection of funny Year jokes. There are some year fortnight jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.
Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these year october puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.
Top 10 of the Funniest Year Jokes and Puns
Why was the anti-vaxxer's 4 year old child crying?
Midlife crisis
I had the best Dad moment last night... *actual conversation with my 8 year old*
Son: Dad... how many kidneys do I have?
Me: Two. You have two, son.
Son: Nope... I have four. *point to belly* Two kidneys here... *points to legs* ...and two kid knees here!
The student has become the teacher.
I lent my umbrella to a hot girl yesterday.
That takes the number of girls i've made wet this year to -1
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife...
Thank you for everything, Mom.
Happy Mothers' Day!
My dad died last year when my family couldn't remember his blood type in time for paramedics to save him
As he died, he kept insisting for us to "be positive," but it's hard without him
Why was the anti-vaxxer's 3 year old crying?
They were having a mid-life crisis.
Why did Elon Musk choose SpaceX to land on mars?
Because if he chose SpaceY he'd land on 14 year old boys.
Statistics show that the average person has sex 89 times a year
Today's going to be great!
Every morning at breakfast for the past 6 months, I announce loudly to my family that I'm going for a jog, and then I don't.
It's my longest running joke of the year.
My 7 year old nephew showed me with pride the "telephone" he had just made from a string and two tin cans...
I pulled out my iPhone and said, "That's nice, but look at what kids your age make in China!"
Give a man a fish and you will feed him for a day.
Teach a man to fish and he will spend hundreds of dollars on equipment he will
use twice a year
You can explore year week reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean year decade dad jokes. There are also year puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
Tide has some serious ad time during the superbowl this year
Must be able to afford it after cornering the teenage snack food market
A mormon was having an affair with a 15 year old girl who had lied about her age, when he learned the truth he broke it off and over the next few week guilt set in and he confessed to his wife. She screamed at him,
"How could you cheat on me like that with an older woman!?!?!?".
My Lesbian neighbours Eva and Julia asked me to help them conceive a child recently.
They said they wouldn't mind if we did it the old fashioned way as they weren't man haters!
For six months now we've been trying but I just don't have the heart to tell them I had a vasectomy last year.
My wife laughed when I said I still had the body of an 18 year old.
Until she checked the freezer.
This is probably the best joke that I -a dad- have ever come up with
I bought my 19 year old daughter a new bed for when she goes off to university. She was undecided about whether she wanted to keep it.
I told her to sleep on it.
Told by a 7 year old boy: How do you drop on an egg on a concrete floor without cracking it.
Concrete floors are really hard to crack.
Then he said "you were thinking about the egg weren't you!"
From my 7 year-old son: What rhymes with 'boo' and really stinks?
You.
Why I oughta...!
Marriage, the real story
A husband walks into the bedroom to see his wife packing a suitcase. He asks, "What are you doing?"
She answers, "I'm moving to Nevada . I heard that prostitutes there get paid $400.00 for what I'm doing for YOU for FREE!"
Later that night, on her way out, the wife walks into the bedroom and sees her husband packing his suitcase.
When she asks him where he's going, he replies,
"I'm coming too. I want to see how you live on $800.00 a year."
My little sister made a face at my mom and said "Guess who I am?"
My mom answered "Who?"
"Your daughter"
courtesy of my 4 year old sister about 20 minutes ago
My boss was honest with me today.
He pulled up to work with his sweet new car this morning and I complimented him on it. He replied, "Well, if you work hard, set goals, stay determined and put in long hours, I can get an even better one next year."
My ex wife died so I went to the cemetery and to honor her, I poured a fine, 12 year old bottle of scotch on her grave.
But first I filtered it through my kidneys.
Stats show the average person has sex 89 times per year
Looks like I'm in store for a wild December
Money or Sex
A woman preparing to leave her husband casually informs him, "I'm going to become a hooker. I can make $400 for what I give you for free."
"I'm coming with you," the man replies. "I want to see you live on $800 a year."
My 4 year old son just got me with a dad joke I hadn't heard before.
My son was playing with his teenage mutant ninja turtle action figures, and was making them fight each other.
Me: "Where are their weapons? Are they just fighting with their bare hands?"
Son: "No, they are fighting with their turtle hands."
Doesn't have a clue why I was laughing so hard.
They say that every 2 out of 3 people live next to a pedophile
Not me, I live next to 2 smoking hot 10 year olds
A 13 year old boy has difficulty with mathematics, failing in public school.
His parents were not religious but after a friend's suggestion they felt a private Catholic school may be more effective. His grades began to rise dramatically after this switch. Asked what has helped him so much, he responded
"When I saw the guy nailed to the plus sign I knew they meant business!"
Circumcisions are painful.
When I got mine right after I was born, I couldn't walk for nearly a year
A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl..
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts...
"I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds
"85 years old"
A joke my 4 year old came up with today...
Him: "What's the only mammal that can breathe under water?"
Me: "I dunno, what?"
Him (loudly): "An elephant sticking his trunk up!"
My boss said to me, "you're the worst train driver ever. How many have you derailed this year?"
I said, "I'm not sure; it's hard to keep track."
If any of you are sad about being alone on valentines day, just remember...
that nobody loves you on any other day of the year, and valentine's day shouldn't be any different.
Why did the African 3 year old cry?
He was having a mid life crisis
Which country has the fastest growing capitol?
Ireland. It's Dublin every year.
A 40 year old man asked the Trainer in the Gym, 'I want to Impress Beautiful Girls, which Machine should I use?'
The Trainer replied, 'Outside the Gym, there is an ATM. Try that'
I saw a 4 year old girl crying, all alone
"Are you ok?" I asked her. "Do you know where your mommy and daddy are?"
"No" she sobbed
I love doing volunteer work at the orphanage
When Christmas was coming up, my kids asked for a puppy. When I got them one, they cried for days...
I'll just get a turkey next year like normal.
4th of July,
The only time of the year Americans say the day and month in the correct order.
I'm 36, and last night when I was out with my 19 year old girlfriend someone yelled "Paedophile!"
That really ruined our 10 year anniversary.
Did Santa get you that?
Cop on horse says to little girl on bike, "Did Santa get you that?"
"Yes," replies the little girl. "Well tell him to put a reflector light on it next year!" and fines her $5.
The little girl looks up at the cop and says, "Nice horse you've got there, did Santa bring you that?"
The cop chuckles and replies, "He sure did!" "Well," says the little girl, "Next year tell Santa that the d*ck goes under the horse, not on top of it!"
My wife laughed when I said I still have the body of a 25 year old.
Until I showed it to her in the freezer.
There's a big difference between a boy or a girl saying
I got through a whole box of tissues when I found out my 18 year old sister was adopted
My boss arrived at work in a brand-new Lamborghini.
I said, "Wow, that's an amazing car!"
He replied, "If you work hard, put all your hours in, and strive for excellence, I'll get another one next year".
What's the first thing you do after waking up and the last thing you do before going to bed?
Nephew: Brushing your teeth!
Mom: oh honey that's not a joke.
Nephew: it is if you think that's what I do!
The year 2020 is going to be filled with so many puns about perfect vision
I can just see it now.
I signed up for a gym membership this year.
So far I've managed to lose £200.
On January 1st I joked to my girlfriend we haven't had sex all year.
It's getting less funnier each day I tell her.
An average Englishman has sex 2 or 3 times a week. A Japanese man has sex once or twice a year.
This is very upsetting as i had no idea i was Japanese.
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor
Years ago, I decided I wanted to be a doctor,
so I took the entrance exam to go to medical
school.
One of the many questions on human anatomy
asked was to rearrange the letters PNEIS" into
the name of "an important human body part which
is most useful when erect."
Those who answered "spine" are now doctors
The rest of us are posting jokes on social media.
A paralyzed man says to his friend, Go upstairs and get my shoes. My feet are cold
The friend goes upstairs and sees the paralyzed man's two sexy 17 year old daughters.
He says, Your father sent me up here to have sex with you.
One of the girls replies, That couldn't possibly be true!
The man says I'll prove it and then yells towards the stairs, Both of them?
The paralyzed man yells back Of course both of them!
Yesterday I sinned with an 18year old girl.
Man to his priest: Yesterday I sinned with an 18 year old girl.
The priest: Squeeze 18 lemons and drink the juice all at once.
Man: And that frees me from my sin?
Priest: No, but it frees your face from that dirty grin.
Joke I heard from a 109 year old Holocaust survivor
A Jew gets to heaven after passing and meets god. The Jew tells god a Holocaust joke, but god doesn't laugh. The Jew shrugs and says, "I guess you had to be there to understand".
10 years ago today, I married my best friend
My wife's still really angry about it but me and Dave were drunk and thought it was a great idea
What's a good name for a detective?
Mr. E
* My 9 year old daughter came up with this, so please be kind
Every year for Valentine's Day I used to always get a card from a secret admirer. This is the first year where I haven't received anything.
First my granny dies, now this?
After years of complaining from my wife, I finally found the G-spot.
Turns out her sister had it all along...
A 3 year old boy examined his testicles in bath
Mom He asked Are these my brains
Not yet She replied
Today is the last time I will see my 80 year old grandpa
Because tomorrow he turns 81!
I feel really bad for the class of 2020. They say the year really flies by.
I just didn't realize it would Zoom.
The best years of my life were spent in the arms of another man's wife
Happy Mother's Day!
It was 11 years ago today that my pal Joey came running out of that room shouting it's a boy it's a boy with tears streaming down his face.
We never went back to Thailand.
We cannot allow this year to end
That would be admitting that 2021
What's the difference between a tire and 365 used condoms?
One is called a Goodyear, and the other is called a great year.
I washed the car with my 5 year old son today.
When we finished, he said, Next time dad, can you use a sponge?
Two years ago we'd never heard of gender reveal parties.
Now they're spreading like wildfire.
2020 has been brutal this year
Now it's just Ruthless
Did you know too much sex can cause memory loss
I read that in a medical journal on page 34 at 3:23 pm last year on Wednesday November the 7th.
Why do the election results take so long?
It's a race between two 70+ year old men. What do you expect?
If this year has taught us anything, it's that Donald Trump is a regular American citizen
He caught COVID-19, has massive debt, is about to be evicted from his house and is going to lose his job
Since this is the first year that I've remembered my cake day, here's my four year old's favorite joke. What did one hat say to the other hat?
You stay here. I'll go on ahead.
Joke from my 12 year old why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?
Because they're so good at it!
Please don't ban me
Give a Man a Fish and You Will Feed Him for a Day.
Teach a man to fish and he will spend a fortune on gear he will only use twice a year.
I just hired a beautiful 21 year old girl to look after my 1 year old baby. Now I have two issues:
1. How to tell this to my wife
2. Where to find a 1 year old baby
In 50 years: "You know, kids, back in my day, we had to wear masks everywhere we went at one point."
We didn't have those fancy hazmat suits you all wear today
This was the year I got all I wanted: a girlfriend, a steady job, and many new friends. All I could want for the next year is...
to be able to post this in a different sub.
A joke from my 8 year old......Did you know that 10+10 and 11+11 are the same?
10+10=twenty
11+11=twenty too
I just farted on my wallet
Now I have Gas Money!
*Told to me by my 9 year old daughter, who thought it's hilarious! (I agree lol)
I was dismayed this afternoon when my wife told me my 6 year old son wasn't actually mine.
She then said I need to pay more attention at school pick up.
I recently heard about this young adult novel in which Schrodinger's cat and Pavlov's dog team up for a cross county adventure…
So I headed on down to the library to see if they had a copy for my 10 year old daughter.
The librarian said that my description rang a bell but she wasn't sure if it was there or not.
John, a wealthy 60 year old man, shows up at the country club one day with his new wife, a smoking hot 22 year old blonde.
His buddies are amazed. "There is no way someone that young and attractive would agree to marry an old geezer like you. How did you pull it off?"
"It's simple," John says, "I lied to her about my age."
"Did you tell her you were 50?" his friends ask. John shakes his head no.
"There is no way she could believe you were 40". John shakes his head again.
"So how old did you tell her you were exactly??"
John smiles and says "85".
My 14 year old girl asked me what hairstyle would look good on her
Don't ever google tips for grooming a teenage girl. I'm now on a list somewhere….
It started to rain suddenly so I lent this attractive young woman my umbrella.
That takes the total number of hot girls I have made wet this year to minus one.
What do you get when you eat 3.14 slices of cake?
Diabetes.
What?, did you really think I was gonna make a pie joke on my cake day?
^btw ^I ^waited ^1 ^whole ^year ^to ^tell ^this ^joke
A woman and her 10 year old son are driving in a taxi at night in Detroit…
It's raining hard and and all the prostitutes are huddled under an awning. The young boy asks his mom, what are those ladies doing? The mom responds, they're all waiting for their husbands to get off work.
The taxi driver is annoyed and responds, Lady, just tell your son the truth! They are prostitutes and they have sex with random men for money! The boy asks, mom, is this true? She responds, yes son, it's true.
The boy then asks, what happens to their babies? Mom responds, they grow up to be taxi drivers!
Why did the burglar file for unemployment?
Everyone was home last year.
Knock knock
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Cow goes.
Cow goes who?
No, Cow goes Moo!
Credit to my 7 year old daughter
What does the "B" in Benoit B. Mandelbrot stand for?
It stands for "Benoit B. Mandelbrot"
It looks like almost a year since this one was posted so seemed okay for a repost.
6 Year old son , after reading story of a king
Son: Mom I also want 4 wives, one will sing ,one bathe me, one will cook
Mom: And one will put you to sleep
Son:No, Mom I will still sleep with you
Mom's eyes filled up with tears.God Bless you dear
Mom: Then who will sleep with your 4 wives?
Son: Let them sleep with dad
Dad's eyes filled up with tears.God Bless you dear
Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the year 80 year old jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.
We suggest to use only working year a 7 and 4 year olds piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.