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Yard Sale Jokes

21 yard sale jokes and hilarious yard sale puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about yard sale that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

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Funniest Yard Sale Short Jokes

Short yard sale jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yard sale humour may include short garage sale jokes also.

  1. Add a word to ruin a movie: - Batman Begins College
    - The Longest Yard sale
    - Charlottes Web Cam.
  2. My wife is a compulsive plant freak. She's filled our house with all manner of potted plants that she picks up at yard sales and give aways! I think she's a hoarder-culturist.
  3. They tried to hide the yard sale at the cemetery but failed miserably It was a dead giveaway
  4. A buddy and I were thinking of starting a band called 'Yard Sale'. Just think of all the free publicity posters!
  5. Ate some weird mushrooms last night and somehow ended up in a Mazda car sales yard tripping like crazy.... Shroom Shroom.
  6. How to ruin a movie with one word... **Batman Begins** College
    **The Longest Yard** Sale
    **Charlotte's Web** Cam
    Add your own in the comments!

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Yard Sale One Liners

Which yard sale one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yard sale? I can suggest the ones about homes sale and thrift store.

  1. Got a really nice 3 foot ruler today... I bought it at a Yard sale.
  2. My son asked if there is anything he shouldn't buy at a yard sale. I said Meters.
  3. Ruler I bought a three foot ruler yesterday at a yard sale
  4. Why do white men shop at black yard sales? To get all their stuff back.
  5. Why do white people shop from black people's yard sales? To get their stuff back.
  6. What do they say about a minimalist's yard sale? Not a whole lot.

Fun-Filled Yard Sale Jokes to Boost Your Mood

What funny jokes about yard sale you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean selling house jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make yard sale pranks.

Old Fridge

A guy bought a new fridge for his house. To get rid of his old fridge, he put it in his front yard and hung a sign on it saying, "Free to good home—you want it you take it." For three days, the fridge sat there without even one person looking twice at it.
He eventually decided that people were rather skeptical about such a good deal, so he changed the sign to read, "Fridge for sale, $50."
The next day, someone stole it.

How do you get into Heaven?

When Tim was just a wee lad, he went regularly to Sunday School. One day, his teacher decided to test Tim to see if he understood the concept of getting to Heaven. She asked him, "If I sold my house and my car, had a big garage sale and gave all my money to the church, Would that get me into Heaven?"
"NO!" Tim answered.
"If I cleaned the church every day, mowed the yard, and kept everything neat and tidy, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, the answer was, "NO!"
By now, the teacher was starting to smile. Hey, this was fun!
"Well, then, if I was kind to animals and gave candy to all the children, and loved my husband, would that get me into Heaven?"
Again, Tim answered, "NO!"
The Sunday School teacher was just bursting with pride for him.
Well, she continued, "then how can I get into Heaven?"
A very confident young Tim shouted out, "YOU GOTTA BE DEAD."

A dude is having a yard sale and is selling his TV

Customer: "Sweet I do need a new TV. How much?"
Seller: "5 dollars"
C: "What? Why is it so cheap?"
S: "Well it's stuck on full volume. The remote doesn't work"
C: "And you're just gonna sell it for $5 because you can't make it quieter?
S: "Yep"
C: "Wow. Can't turn that down"

Two guys at a yard sale are chatting, one says whatcha got there, pal?

Fella over there sold me a bunch of dominoes, a paint can, a ball, and a mousetrap
What in the h**... would you need all that junk for?
He said I can use it to crack an egg
You're such a rube, Goldberg

Faithful dog for sale

Faithful dog for sale read the add, as such John called up the owner for details.
- Hey, I saw your offer for a good natured dog, I have a couple of questions.
- Shoot.
- He good with kids?
- Very. He's kind and gentle and has endless patience.
- yard dog or house dog?
- House trained but loves the yard as well.
- Cool. Last, is he really faithful?
- Oh yeah, very faithful. This is the fifth time I'm selling him.

I hate winter…

I hate the snow, the ice, the cold. In these times I think of the 4-man tent I bought on sale sometime around 1995. It's a basic tent, and it was a great value when I got it. It's hardly used now and just sits in my garage. I get such Winter Blues that I think about setting the tent up in the back yard, even though I've never gone through with that.
But alas I wonder, is this the Winter of my discount tent?