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Yacht Jokes

42 yacht jokes and hilarious yacht puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about yacht that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out this collection of jokes about the luxuries of yacht club life and the travails of being a yacht captain! Perfect for anyone who is a fan of yacht rock and the yacht club commodore lifestyle.

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Funniest Yacht Short Jokes

Short yacht jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The yacht humour may include short boat jokes also.

  1. I like my women like I like my champagne 13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht
  2. I saw an advert in the paper Yacht for sale . As if people dont know what a yacht is for.
  3. I've started my own buisness building model yachts in my attic during lockdown. Sales are going through the roof.
    (I'll take my things and leave now..)
  4. They say money doesn't buy happiness but money could buy me some yachts and that would at least give me some *fleet*ing joy
  5. Two people are on a yacht The man says: "what a beautiful yakt"
    She replies: "the 'C' is silent"
    He says: "yes, tranquil isn't it"
  6. How could the footwear exec afford a mansion, a yacht, and a private jet? He was on a real shoestring budget.
  7. I Started A New Business Making Yachts In My Attic This Year The sails are going through the roof
  8. My buddies own a yacht together that they keep on the French Riviera. They have such a beautiful France ship.
  9. After only a week of dating my girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn't like my comparisons... I feel worst than a turkey sandwich on a yacht.
  10. As soon as the stay at home order is lifted... I'm going to turn in all my bottle returns and buy a yacht

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Yacht One Liners

Which yacht one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with yacht? I can suggest the ones about speedboat and fishing boat.

  1. What is a Russian oligarch's least favorite parlor game? Yacht seize!
  2. I just gambled the family boat away. It cost me a yacht
  3. Why are yachts and ships so scary? Because they're for boating.
  4. Most billionaires are really just rounded up millionaires. The haves and the have yachts.
  5. Life is getting tough for Russian oligarchs It's gonna cost them a yacht
  6. I started a yacht business in the attic. Sails are through the roof
  7. I know what I am going to name my first yacht Z.
    I can't wait to be a dad
  8. What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music? Dokken
  9. What did the little boat say to the yacht? Can I interest you in a little row-mance.
  10. Why wouldn't the narcissist buy a yacht? He couldn't see himself in sails.
  11. If you own a Big Yacht... ...You probably have a little dinghy.
  12. What game do antisemitic rich people like to play? Yacht-zi.
  13. What do you call five yachts? YAHTZEE!
  14. I can't believe how expensive boats are. It's a yacht.
  15. What do you call rubber bumpers on yachts?
    Shark absorbers.

Yacht joke

Experience Good Cheer with Hilarious Yacht Jokes and Friends

What funny jokes about yacht you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean sailing jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make yacht pranks.

Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.

We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht.
Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.

A taxi driver and a priest go to heaven.

Both appear at roughly the same time at the pearly gates. The priest is given some wine and cheese. The taxi driver is given a yacht, a boat, a mansion and a box of diamonds.
The priest looks at St. Peter and says: "I was a priest for many years but all I get is a little house and some food. This guy gets all this stuff and he drove a taxi."
St. Peter says "Yes, but we go by results. When you gave sermons people slept, when he drove people prayed."

Four men are at a bar bragging about how successful their sons are

One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"

A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...

He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.

A Ukrainian sailor was drilling holes in a Russian oligarch's yacht...

A police officer approaches the sailor and asks him what he is doing.

The sailor puts down the drill and says, "Oh, me? Uhhhm... as a matter of fact, I am here to bless the ship."

The police officer looks skeptical, "You're here to bless the ship?"

"Yes, that's right! I am making it very holy."

A man was out at sea celebrating buying a new Yacht with his girlfriend.

Man (raising a glass of champagne) : To our new "YAKT".
Girlfriend : The 'c' is silent, honey.
Man : (staring out at the horizon) : Yes it's very tranquil, you're right.

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.

Morris had died. His lawyer is standing before the family and reads out Morris' Last Will and Testament.
"To my dear wife Esther, I leave the house, 150 acres of land, and 1 million dollars.
To my son Barry, I leave my Big Lexus and the new Jaguar.
To my daughter Shirley, I leave my yacht and $250,000.
And to my brother-in-law Aaron, who always insisted that health is better than wealth, I leave my treadmill."

What did the p**...-shaped potato name his yacht?

The S.S. Dictatorship.

4 Guys walk into a bar and get on the subject of their successful sons...

...The first man says My son's so successful he bought his friend a Ferrari. That's cool, the second man says but my son is so successful he bought his friend a private jet. The third guy says That's pretty nice of them but my son bought his friend a deluxe yacht. The third guy turns to the fourth and says what does your son do for a living? The fourth man says my son is a gay stripper. You must be disappointed the third man said. No, I'm proud of him, he has already gotten a Ferrari, a private jet and a deluxe yacht.

A boss and his two workers had a genie appear before them...

The genie in his traditional style offered three wishes to them, so they decided to split the three wishes amongst them. The first worker said:
"I wish for a party yacht with hundreds of beautiful girls crawling all over me."
p**..., and he was gone. Seeing this, the second worker eagerly said:
"I wish for a castle with hundreds of staff and a limitless credit card."
p**..., and he too was gone. Scratching his stubble, the boss sighed.
"I want those two g**... loafers back in the office before lunch break ends!"

No such thing as a free yatch [Long]

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that 
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.
Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

A rich, dumb Husband and wife are taking their first trip on their new Yacht.

They have sailed far from the shore, and the two are sitting in chairs, looking out towards the water.
"Gee, I just love this new Yakt!" The man says.
"Erm... Honey, the "c" is silent." His wife responds.
The man takes a sip from a tall glass, before responding "you're right, it's very tranquil."

Trump invites the Pope on his yacht...

The Popes hat blows off into the ocean so the Swiss guard and the secret service jump is trying to recover it but the current kept them away. So Trump says "I got it", and jumps overboard and walks across the water retrieves the hat and brings it back to the Pope.
CNN's headline the next day was "Trump Can't Swim!"

I've never gone sailing before, but I want to sail around the world one day...

I have a yacht to learn before my trip.

Yacht joke, I've never gone sailing before, but I want to sail around the world one day...