The Best 29 Yacht Jokes

Following is our collection of funny Yacht jokes. There are some yacht motorboat jokes no one knows (to tell your friends) and to make you laugh out loud.

Take your time to read those puns and riddles where you ask a question with answers, or where the setup is the punchline. We hope you will find these yacht cruise puns funny enough to tell and make people laugh.

Top 10 of the Funniest Yacht Jokes and Puns

A man knows his marraige is on the rocks and wants to buy a grand gift for his wife...

He offers to buy her a Ferrari but she says no, he offers to get her a massive diamond ring but she declines, he asks her if she wants a huge yacht but she again turns him down. Exasperated, he says 'well what *do* you want?' to which she replies 'a divorce!', the guy goes deathly pale and whimpers 'I wasn't planning on spending *that* much'.

What was the yacht doing while it played heavy metal music?


What did the penis-shaped potato name his yacht?

The S.S. Dictatorship.

Yacht joke, What did the penis-shaped potato name his yacht?

A man lovingly told his fiancΓ©

"I don't have a big house or a yacht like my friend, Harry, but I will love you forever." She replied, "Oh, yeah. I love you too. Now, who's this Harry?!"

You might ask why the windows in front of these Pelotons are so small.

Unfortunately, space on the yacht is limited and the gym is near the waterline. We manage.

Why are yachts and ships so scary?

Because they're for boating.

I know what I am going to name my first yacht


I can't wait to be a dad

Yacht joke, I know what I am going to name my first yacht

If you own a Big Yacht...

...You probably have a little dinghy.

I like all my women to be

I like all my women to be
Just the same as my morning coffee,
I.e. liquid and hot,
Often drunk on a yacht
And usually bought for a fee.

I like my women like I like my champagne

13 years old and smashed over the bow of my yacht

I can't believe how expensive boats are.

It's a yacht.

You can explore yacht mansion reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean yacht vessel dad jokes. There are also yacht puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.

A taxi driver and a priest go to heaven.

Both appear at roughly the same time at the pearly gates. The priest is given some wine and cheese. The taxi driver is given a yacht, a boat, a mansion and a box of diamonds.

The priest looks at St. Peter and says: "I was a priest for many years but all I get is a little house and some food. This guy gets all this stuff and he drove a taxi."

St. Peter says "Yes, but we go by results. When you gave sermons people slept, when he drove people prayed."

I've never gone sailing before, but I want to sail around the world one day...

I have a yacht to learn before my trip.

Trump invites the Pope on his yacht...

The Popes hat blows off into the ocean so the Swiss guard and the secret service jump is trying to recover it but the current kept them away. So Trump says "I got it", and jumps overboard and walks across the water retrieves the hat and brings it back to the Pope.

CNN's headline the next day was "Trump Can't Swim!"

A rich, dumb Husband and wife are taking their first trip on their new Yacht.

They have sailed far from the shore, and the two are sitting in chairs, looking out towards the water.

"Gee, I just love this new Yakt!" The man says.

"Erm... Honey, the "c" is silent." His wife responds.

The man takes a sip from a tall glass, before responding "you're right, it's very tranquil."

No such thing as a free yatch [Long]

A salesman talked my uncle into buying 10,000 personalized pens for his business with the promise that 
he would be eligible to win a 32-foot yacht. A born gambler, my uncle agreed.

Well, he won, and a few weeks after the pens arrived, his prize showed up: a 12-inch plastic yacht with 
32 plastic feet glued to the bottom.

Yacht joke, No such thing as a free yatch [Long]

What did the little boat say to the yacht?

Can I interest you in a little row-mance.

After only a week of dating my girlfriend broke up with me because she doesn't like my comparisons...

I feel worst than a turkey sandwich on a yacht.

Why wouldn't the narcissist buy a yacht?

He couldn't see himself in sails.

Poor people are causing climate change.

Ignore my factories, my yacht, and my private plane. You are the problem. Eat less meat and take the bus.

Always remember that money cannot buy you love

It can, however, buy you a mansion, a yacht, a nice suit, and a fancy European sports car. After that, you'll be beating love off with a stick.

A man was out at sea celebrating buying a new Yacht with his girlfriend.

Man (raising a glass of champagne) : To our new "YAKT".

Girlfriend : The 'c' is silent, honey.

Man : (staring out at the horizon) : Yes it's very tranquil, you're right.

Two people are on a yacht

The man says: "what a beautiful yakt"

She replies: "the 'C' is silent"

He says: "yes, tranquil isn't it"

As soon as the stay at home order is lifted...

I'm going to turn in all my bottle returns and buy a yacht

I started a yacht business in the attic.

Sails are through the roof

Four men are at a bar bragging about how successful their sons are

One says"my son is a successful brick layer and he bought his friend a Lamborghini just because"...the second man says"my friend is a successful real estate agent and he bought his friend a yacht just because"the third man says"my son is a great lawyer and he bought his friend a mansion just because"....their was a minute of silence and the second man asks the fourth man what his son does ...the fourth man replies"he's a gay stripper"..the third man says"oh you must be ashamed I'm sorry"which the fourth man says"not really his three boyfriends bought him a Lamborghini,a yacht,and a mansion just because"

I saw an advert in the paper Yacht for sale .

As if people dont know what a yacht is for.

Anybody interested in a free ride in a helicopter for 4 people? I'm still looking for 2 more adults to join me and my wife.

We leave early Saturday morning (Feb 6th) from New York and will fly to Boston , where we will have breakfast, then have lunch on a friend's yacht.
Then we'll do a flight along the coast, up to Cape Elizabeth returning to Boston for dinner, then fly back home. If interested, please message me.

Preferably someone with a helicopter and yacht, otherwise we can't go.

4 Guys walk into a bar and get on the subject of their successful sons...

...The first man says My son's so successful he bought his friend a Ferrari. That's cool, the second man says but my son is so successful he bought his friend a private jet. The third guy says That's pretty nice of them but my son bought his friend a deluxe yacht. The third guy turns to the fourth and says what does your son do for a living? The fourth man says my son is a gay stripper. You must be disappointed the third man said. No, I'm proud of him, he has already gotten a Ferrari, a private jet and a deluxe yacht.

Just think that there are jokes based on truth that can bring down governments, or jokes which make girl laugh. Many of the yacht arrogantly jokes and puns are jokes supposed to be funny, but some can be offensive. When jokes go too far, are mean or racist, we try to silence them and it will be great if you give us feedback every time when a joke become bullying and inappropriate.

We suggest to use only working yacht speedboat piadas for adults and blagues for friends. Some of the dirty witze and dark jokes are funny, but use them with caution in real life. Try to remember funny jokes you've never heard to tell your friends and will make you laugh.

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