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Ww2 Jokes

113 ww2 jokes and hilarious ww2 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ww2 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.

Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of WW2 jokes. From Hitler jokes to Churchill jokes, we've got something for everyone.

Best Short Ww2 Jokes

Short ww2 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ww2 humour may include short world war 2 jokes also.

  1. My Grandfather downed 35 German aircraft during WW2 He still holds the record as the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
  2. My grandpa destroyed 38 planes in WW2, killed 58 Germans. Literally the worst mechanic of the Luftwaffe
  3. My grandfather destroyed over 30 German planes in WW2... He was easily the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
  4. My grand father fought in WW2. Whenever I bring it up, he says he never wants to talk about it again. What a sore loser
  5. My great grandfather once destroyed 18 WW2 German aircrafts in one day. He was the worst mechanic the Luftwaffe ever had.
  6. So a French WW2 rifle came up for sale at an auction, the description read... French rifle, never used, dropped once.
  7. They say WW2 was won by American steel, British intelligence, and Russian blood Who knew that WW3 would be won the same way?
  8. My grandad never used to like throwing things away He died in WW2 holding onto a hand grenade
  9. During WW2 my grandad downed over 35 German planes... He still holds the record as the worst mechanic in Luftwaffe history.
  10. My grandfather destroyed over a hundred German planes during WW2 He was the worst mechanic in the German Airforce.

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Make fun with this list of one liners, jokes and riddles. Each joke is crafted with thought and creativity, delivering punchlines that are unexpected and witty. The humor about ww2 can easily lighten the mood and bring smiles to people's faces. This compilation of ww2 puns is not just entertaining but also a testament to the art of joke-telling. The jokes in this list are designed to display different humor styles, ensuring that every reader at any age finds something entertaining. Constantly updated, they offer a source of fun that ensures one is always smiling !

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Ww2 One Liners

Which ww2 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ww2? I can suggest the ones about interview and suddenly.

  1. CoD WW2 is so realistic... Even the servers are from 1941.
  2. ww1: Because someone shot an Austrian WW2: Because someone didn't shoot an Austrian
  3. Selling a french WW2 rifle Never fired, only dropped once.
  4. I have a French WW2 rifle for sale Never been fired, only dropped once.
  5. Why did Germany invade Hungary in WW2 They were jealous of the Hung-Aryans
  6. Why was WW2 so slow? They were Stalin
  7. My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2 Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had
  8. Why did it take so long for Americans to beat Germany in WW2? They weren't Russian.
  9. Why did Germany lose WW2? Three Reichs and you're out
  10. Why didn't the Soviet Union join WW2 until 1941? They were using Stalin-tactics
  11. What do you call a German stealth WW2 submarine? A not see you boat.
  12. My grandfather lost his tongue during WW2 He never talks about it.
  13. I have an unhealthy addiction to WW2 Naval vessels I warship them
  14. How did the Scandinavian countries communicate during WW2? Norse code
  15. How did Germany raise its GDP pc. during WW2? Reduce the capita

French Ww2 Jokes

Here is a list of funny french ww2 jokes and even better french ww2 puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My grandfather has a French rifle from WW2 for sale on eBay The description reads "never fired. Dropped once "
  • French tanks in WW2 have special features They have side mirrors so they can see the Germans when escaping.
  • Why were the French defeated so easily by Germans in WW2? Because the French generals told their soldiers, that to win the war, they needed to strike first.
  • What happened to the French army of ww2? He died

Ww2 Planes Jokes

Here is a list of funny ww2 planes jokes and even better ww2 planes puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • A German airman on the air forces during WW2 If you see a white plane, it's American; if it's black it's RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that's the Luftwaffe.
  • My grandpa destroyed 12 German planes during WW2. He was, without a doubt, the worst mechanic in the history of Luftwaffe

Ww2 Tanks Jokes

Here is a list of funny ww2 tanks jokes and even better ww2 tanks puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • What does an American ww2 veteran say when you ask him if he wants some tea? Sherman tanks!
  • Making tanks in WW2 Italy was a really fun job. It was always riveting work.
  • Did you know that Italian tanks in WW2 had 4 gears? 1 for advancing and 3 for retreating.
  • "Quality is more important than quantity" Said the German tanks to the US tanks during WW2
  • Where do you sell a WW2 german tank? On the Blitzkrieg list.

Italian Ww2 Jokes

Here is a list of funny italian ww2 jokes and even better italian ww2 puns that will make you laugh with friends.

  • My great grandfather told me a joke from his time in WW2 A German man, a Japanese man and an Italian man walk into a BAR.
  • Where were Italian Jews forced to stay during WW2? Spaghettos

Charming Humor Ww2 Jokes with Loads of Fun

What funny jokes about ww2 you can tell and make people laugh? One example I can give are clean difficult jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help make ww2 prank.

My grandfather personally killed 30 German aviators during WW2

He was the s**... mechanic the luftwaffe had.

Old Finnish WW2 joke

Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting in England after the World War II.
British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland.
"A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth.
"Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked.
Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."

In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors

If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British
If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German
If they retreat, they're French
If they switch to your side, they're Italian
If they apologize, they're Canadian
If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American

The Deadliest Job in WW2

My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, Did you ever kill anyone?
Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, Probably. I was the cook.

The Polish farmer

During WW2, a team of German and Soviet surveyors went through Poland to split the country.
One day they found a farm placed directly over the planned border. The surveyors agreed that the border couldn't be drawn through the house, and decided to ask the farmer.
- Do you want to belong to Soviet or Germany?, they asked him.
After some thinking, the farmer answered
- I'd like to belong to Germany.
- Why is that?
- Oh - I've heard the Russian winters are very cold

A women invites 3 military men to her house

During WW2 many families near military bases would invite service men over to their house for an evening to forget about the war, and to enjoy a home cooked meal. So a women calls the military base and says she would like to invite 3 men over but expresses that they CANNOT be Jews. Absolutely no Jews. The base commander says fine he will send 3 over on Sunday. She agreed and hanged up. On Sunday a jeep drives up and 3 black men got out of the vehicle. The women is in shock and asks the men is this a mistake? Surely this HAS to be a mistake! One of the men replies, "No ma'am, Captain Goldstein never makes a mistake."

My grandfather killed over 30 n**... during WW2

He was the worst doctor in the Wehrmacht

WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...

(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game

What's the difference between Logan Paul and a WW2 US soldier?

One shoots dead j**... and the other shoots j**... dead.

There was three pilots...

Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "b**... run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".

An old Russian WW2 joke

This is an old Russian WW2 joke that my grandfather loved to tell.
During high-casualty battles between Germans and Russians, the Russian general gets surprised by the commander of a tiny platoon who wants to hand over hundreds of German prisoners. When investigating the prisoners closer, he realizes that all of them are injured, most of them at their hands and arms.
The general interrogates the commander:
"Very impressive! But how did you manage to take all these hostages?"
"Ha, very simple! Just build up a machine gun next to the German trench and yell >>HEIL!! <<"

An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar.

An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar. The topic of WW2 comes up and the Frenchman says to the American, "Dropping two atomic bombs on Japan was a terrible mistake." The Chinese nods. "You should have dropped more than two."

Why is everybody so scared of germs nowadays?

We kicked their a**... in WW2 we can do it again

My great-grandad was personally responsible for bringing down over 30 German aircraft in WW2.

All the other mechanics in the Luftwaffe never really liked him though.

My grandfather was treated very badly by the Germans in WW2.

Passed over for promotion time and time again.

The Russian winter...

...helped the Russian people defeat h**... during WW2 and Napoleon before him. This year it invaded the USA on its own.

That Military Documentary series on Japan in WW2 was really good...

...Unfortunately it never survived past the Pilot episode.

What do you call a German involved in WW2 who went undercover after the war?

A veteranaryan.

People don't want kids being taught about gay relationships as they think that'll turn their child gay. I learnt about WW2, it doesn't mean I want to invade Poland.

Yet.

The soldier who got assaulted by pepper spray and mustard gas in WW2...

... Is now a seasoned veteran.

Methamphetamine was used widely by both axis and allied soldiers in WW2.

Making it the true War On Drugs.

My great-grandfather sunk 7 U-boats during WW2

Some say that he was the most incompetent captain in the Kriegsmarine

My grandad was highly decorated during WW2....

In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel and balloon on his helmet that got him shot.

Why did so many German officers flee to argentina after WW2?

Because they heard there was an entire town for Buenos Arians
(I hope this hasn't been posted before, if so I apologize)

h**... was a pretty good leader

He killed a dictator that killed and tortured millions of people that then ended WW2

A grandfather tells his grandchild one of his stories from WW2

Grandfather : "Our squad was once captured by the enemy, half of us were r**..., the other half got brutally killed."
Grandchild : "Which half were you part of grandpa' ?"
Grandfather : "Pfft, is that even a question ? Obviously the latter !"

Japan was devastated when the US bombed them in WW2

But everything is Okay-nowa

Why WW2 started

h**... had started WW2 after a breakup with his Polish girlfriend.
She didn't want to see him anymore, so h**... said,
"Well, I'm n**...'ing you anymore!"

What would "Jurassic Park" be called if it was filmed during WW2?

Jewrassic Park.

What's Long and Hard and full of s**...?

The Pacific theatre of WW2!

Take it easy on the anti-semetic jokes.

Take it easy on the jew jokes please. My grandfather died in a concentration camp during WW2.
Apparently he fell off a guard tower during shift change.

In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project.

I heard it was the bomb.

My great grandfather once worked in a WW2 aircraft factory.

*"Our factory closed down on account of increased B-24 production"*, he said.
*"Why is that?"*, I asked. *"Did the military favor the B-24 over your aircraft?"*
*"The military hated the B-24!"*, he snapped back. *"It always flew above flak and our Focke-Wulfs couldn't hit them either."*

In memory of recently passed Benedict XVI

WW2. Young german soldier captures pole. At the moment he aiming to shoot him lightning crack the sky and they hear God's voice:
- Don't shoot him, he is a future Pope
- Wow what about me?
- Ok, fine, you too

Say what you want about WW2

But whoever killed h**... is my hero.

"Show me your's and I'll show you mine"... She proceed's to take off her clothes...

...I proceed to show her my WW2 cr38 anti-personnel mine.

How do you call a german barber during ww2

Herr styler

TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines.

An Italian went to church to admit his sins.

When the father opened the confessional's window, man stated talking:
-Father, I have done sin. During ww2 in my neighborhood lived a very beautiful Jewish girl, who asked if I could hide her from the Germans.
Father answered:
-Well, that's bravery and not sin.
The man continued:
-But it wasn't just that. I started to collect "rent" in form of s**.... First once a week, but eded up to every day and twice on Sundays.
Father said:
-That time meny people surely did the same. Thus your sins are forgiven and you are free to go home.
The man still continued:
-Father, I still have one question. Should I tell the woman, that the war is over.

In WW2, what did the Germans have that the Japanese didn't?

Ace pilots.

What do you call a story about a WW2 shipyard?

A riveting tale.

During WW2, oil shortages forced some countries to start using organic fuels.

Mussolini made the trains run on thyme.

Apparently n**... have a skewed knowledge of world history

Ask any of them how ww2 went and they say it was all r**....

What is the highest thing h**... achieved in WW2

His gas bill

My dad was a veteran from both WW1 and WW2

He even managed to kill h**....

An old WW2 Joke from Germany

I finally got myself a h**... portrait. I just don't know if I should hang it or put it against the wall!

my grandpa, a ww2 vet, returned from the war with one arm.

we still don't know who's arm this is

Did you know h**... was a boxer before he started WW2?

He had a mean r**... hook.

In WW2 my granddad broke the enigma code...

machine.

My grandad accidently bit his own tongue off during WW2

He never talks about it though

Where Did Lieutenant Paul Armstrong Go During The Bomb Strikes In WW2

Everywhere.

What was the primary cause for the mass migration of Jews in Europe during WW2?

The wind.

jokes about ww2

Jokes are a form of humor that often involves clever wordplay, puns or unexpected twists in a story. These are usually short narratives or anecdotes crafted with the intent of amusing its audience by ending in an unexpected or humorous punchline. Jokes are a universal form of entertainment that people of all ages like adults, teens, kids and toddlers can enjoy. JokoJokes' FAQ section has answers to questions you may have!

The impact of these ww2 jokes can be both social and psychological. They can help to ease tensions, create bonds between people, and even improve overall mental health. The success of a joke often relies on the delivery, timing, and audience. Jokes can be used in various settings, from social gatherings to professional presentations, and are often employed to lighten the mood or enhance a story.