Ww2 Jokes
108 ww2 jokes and hilarious ww2 puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about ww2 that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Looking for a laugh? Check out our collection of WW2 jokes. From Hitler jokes to Churchill jokes, we've got something for everyone.
Quick Jump To
Funniest Ww2 Short Jokes
Short ww2 jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The ww2 humour may include short world war 2 jokes also.
- My great grandfather told me a joke from his time in WW2 A German man, a Japanese man and an Italian man walk into a BAR.
- My grandfather was treated very badly by the Germans in WW2. Passed over for promotion time and time again.
- That Military Documentary series on Japan in WW2 was really good... ...Unfortunately it never survived past the Pilot episode.
- What do you call a German involved in WW2 who went undercover after the war? A veteranaryan.
- Methamphetamine was used widely by both axis and allied soldiers in WW2. Making it the true War On Drugs.
- My grandad was highly decorated during WW2.... In fact, many people believe it was the tinsel and balloon on his helmet that got him shot.
- Why did so many German officers flee to argentina after WW2? Because they heard there was an entire town for Buenos Arians
(I hope this hasn't been posted before, if so I apologize) - What does an American ww2 veteran say when you ask him if he wants some tea? Sherman tanks!
- In history class we got to read on a WW2 topic of our choice. I chose the Manhattan Project. I heard it was the bomb.
- French tanks in WW2 have special features They have side mirrors so they can see the Germans when escaping.
Share These Ww2 Jokes With Friends
Ww2 One Liners
Which ww2 one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with ww2? I can suggest the ones about interview and suddenly.
- CoD WW2 is so realistic... Even the servers are from 1941.
- ww1: Because someone shot an Austrian WW2: Because someone didn't shoot an Austrian
- Selling a french WW2 rifle Never fired, only dropped once.
- Why did Germany invade Hungary in WW2 They were jealous of the Hung-Aryans
- Why was WW2 so slow? They were Stalin
- My great grandfather sunk 5 U-boats in ww2 Easily the worst captain the kriegsmarine had
- Why did it take so long for Americans to beat Germany in WW2? They weren't Russian.
- Why did Germany lose WW2? Three Reichs and you're out
- Why didn't the Soviet Union join WW2 until 1941? They were using Stalin-tactics
- What do you call a German stealth WW2 submarine? A not see you boat.
- I have an unhealthy addiction to WW2 Naval vessels I warship them
- How did the Scandinavian countries communicate during WW2? Norse code
- How did Germany raise its GDP pc. during WW2? Reduce the capita
- Japan was devastated when the US bombed them in WW2 But everything is Okay-nowa
- What would "Jurassic Park" be called if it was filmed during WW2? Jewrassic Park.
French Ww2 Jokes
Here is a list of funny french ww2 jokes and even better french ww2 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Why were the French defeated so easily by Germans in WW2? Because the French generals told their soldiers, that to win the war, they needed to strike first.
- What happened to the French army of ww2? He died
Ww2 Planes Jokes
Here is a list of funny ww2 planes jokes and even better ww2 planes puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- A German airman on the air forces during WW2 If you see a white plane, it's American; if it's black it's RAF (Royal Air Force). If you see no planes at all, that's the Luftwaffe.
Ww2 Tanks Jokes
Here is a list of funny ww2 tanks jokes and even better ww2 tanks puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Making tanks in WW2 Italy was a really fun job. It was always riveting work.
- Did you know that Italian tanks in WW2 had 4 gears? 1 for advancing and 3 for retreating.
- "Quality is more important than quantity" Said the German tanks to the US tanks during WW2
- Where do you sell a WW2 german tank? On the Blitzkrieg list.
Italian Ww2 Jokes
Here is a list of funny italian ww2 jokes and even better italian ww2 puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Where were Italian Jews forced to stay during WW2? Spaghettos
Charming Humor Ww2 Jokes with Loads of Fun
What funny jokes about ww2 you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean difficult jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make ww2 pranks.
Old Finnish WW2 joke
Finnish general Adolf Ehrnrooth was visiting in England after the World War II.
British general asked him how many Russian troops were stationed in Finland.
"A few hundred thousand" answered Ehrnrooth.
"Where in Finland are they stationed?" The British general asked.
Ehrnrooth answered: "Two meters underground around the border."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
In WW2 you could identify which nationality your opponent was from by observing their behaviors
If they respond to threats with precise rifle shots, they're British
If they respond with heavy machine gun fire, they're German
If they retreat, they're French
If they switch to your side, they're Italian
If they apologize, they're Canadian
If nothing happens for a few minutes then suddenly your camp is leveled to the ground, they're American
The Deadliest Job in WW2
My high school assignment was to ask a veteran about World War II. Since my father had served in the Philippines during the war, I chose him. After a few basic questions, I very gingerly asked, Did you ever kill anyone?
Dad got quiet. Then, in a soft voice, he said, Probably. I was the cook.
The Polish farmer
During WW2, a team of German and Soviet surveyors went through Poland to split the country.
One day they found a farm placed directly over the planned border. The surveyors agreed that the border couldn't be drawn through the house, and decided to ask the farmer.
- Do you want to belong to Soviet or Germany?, they asked him.
After some thinking, the farmer answered
- I'd like to belong to Germany.
- Why is that?
- Oh - I've heard the Russian winters are very cold
A women invites 3 military men to her house
During WW2 many families near military bases would invite service men over to their house for an evening to forget about the war, and to enjoy a home cooked meal. So a women calls the military base and says she would like to invite 3 men over but expresses that they CANNOT be Jews. Absolutely no Jews. The base commander says fine he will send 3 over on Sunday. She agreed and hanged up. On Sunday a jeep drives up and 3 black men got out of the vehicle. The women is in shock and asks the men is this a mistake? Surely this HAS to be a mistake! One of the men replies, "No ma'am, Captain Goldstein never makes a mistake."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My grandfather killed over 30 n**... during WW2
He was the worst doctor in the Wehrmacht
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
WW2 joke. I read this conversation between two Counter-Strike players ingame...
(I came in mid-conversation and for me it started like this)
Player1: I cant believe your nick is Jewhunter, that's so offensive! My grandparents were in a concentration camp during the war.
Player2: Oh, I'm sorry to hear that, my grandfather died in a concentration camp.
Player1: My god that's awful...
Player2: Yea, he fell down from the guardtower.
Player1 has left the game
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's the difference between Logan Paul and a WW2 US soldier?
One shoots dead j**... and the other shoots j**... dead.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
There was three pilots...
Three WW2 pilots were shot down behind enemy lines and captured. They were sent to a POW camp to be executed. They were lined up and the firing squad said "Ready, aim" and then the first pilot screamd
"Tornado" then the soldiers ran for cover. When thay found no tornado they lined back up.
"Ready aim" Then the second screeched "b**... run" then the soldiers ran for cover. They then lined up again. "Ready aim" Then the third pilot knew what to do and screamed "FIRE".
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old Russian WW2 joke
This is an old Russian WW2 joke that my grandfather loved to tell.
During high-casualty battles between Germans and Russians, the Russian general gets surprised by the commander of a tiny platoon who wants to hand over hundreds of German prisoners. When investigating the prisoners closer, he realizes that all of them are injured, most of them at their hands and arms.
The general interrogates the commander:
"Very impressive! But how did you manage to take all these hostages?"
"Ha, very simple! Just build up a machine gun next to the German trench and yell >>HEIL!! <<"
An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar.
An American, a Frenchman and a Chinese walk into a bar. The topic of WW2 comes up and the Frenchman says to the American, "Dropping two atomic bombs on Japan was a terrible mistake." The Chinese nods. "You should have dropped more than two."
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why is everybody so scared of germs nowadays?
We kicked their a**... in WW2 we can do it again
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
The Russian winter...
...helped the Russian people defeat h**... during WW2 and Napoleon before him. This year it invaded the USA on its own.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
People don't want kids being taught about gay relationships as they think that'll turn their child gay. I learnt about WW2, it doesn't mean I want to invade Poland.
Yet.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... was a pretty good leader
He killed a dictator that killed and tortured millions of people that then ended WW2
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A grandfather tells his grandchild one of his stories from WW2
Grandfather : "Our squad was once captured by the enemy, half of us were r**..., the other half got brutally killed."
Grandchild : "Which half were you part of grandpa' ?"
Grandfather : "Pfft, is that even a question ? Obviously the latter !"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Why WW2 started
h**... had started WW2 after a breakup with his Polish girlfriend.
She didn't want to see him anymore, so h**... said,
"Well, I'm n**...'ing you anymore!"
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What's Long and Hard and full of s**...?
The Pacific theatre of WW2!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Take it easy on the anti-semetic jokes.
Take it easy on the jew jokes please. My grandfather died in a concentration camp during WW2.
Apparently he fell off a guard tower during shift change.
My great grandfather once worked in a WW2 aircraft factory.
*"Our factory closed down on account of increased B-24 production"*, he said.
*"Why is that?"*, I asked. *"Did the military favor the B-24 over your aircraft?"*
*"The military hated the B-24!"*, he snapped back. *"It always flew above flak and our Focke-Wulfs couldn't hit them either."*
In memory of recently passed Benedict XVI
WW2. Young german soldier captures pole. At the moment he aiming to shoot him lightning crack the sky and they hear God's voice:
- Don't shoot him, he is a future Pope
- Wow what about me?
- Ok, fine, you too
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Say what you want about WW2
But whoever killed h**... is my hero.
"Show me your's and I'll show you mine"... She proceed's to take off her clothes...
...I proceed to show her my WW2 cr38 anti-personnel mine.
How do you call a german barber during ww2
Herr styler
TIL That there was a German warship during WW2 that accidentally sunk 34 friendly submarines.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An Italian went to church to admit his sins.
When the father opened the confessional's window, man stated talking:
-Father, I have done sin. During ww2 in my neighborhood lived a very beautiful Jewish girl, who asked if I could hide her from the Germans.
Father answered:
-Well, that's bravery and not sin.
The man continued:
-But it wasn't just that. I started to collect "rent" in form of s**.... First once a week, but eded up to every day and twice on Sundays.
Father said:
-That time meny people surely did the same. Thus your sins are forgiven and you are free to go home.
The man still continued:
-Father, I still have one question. Should I tell the woman, that the war is over.
In WW2, what did the Germans have that the Japanese didn't?
Ace pilots.
What do you call a story about a WW2 shipyard?
A riveting tale.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Apparently n**... have a skewed knowledge of world history
Ask any of them how ww2 went and they say it was all r**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What is the highest thing h**... achieved in WW2
His gas bill
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
My dad was a veteran from both WW1 and WW2
He even managed to kill h**....
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
An old WW2 Joke from Germany
I finally got myself a h**... portrait. I just don't know if I should hang it or put it against the wall!
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
Did you know h**... was a boxer before he started WW2?
He had a mean r**... hook.
In WW2 my granddad broke the enigma code...
machine.
My grandad accidently bit his own tongue off during WW2
He never talks about it though
Where Did Lieutenant Paul Armstrong Go During The Bomb Strikes In WW2
Everywhere.
What was the primary cause for the mass migration of Jews in Europe during WW2?
The wind.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
We ought to honor all the soldiers who fought in WW2...
Especially the one who killed h**....
The Outlast Whistleblower DLC actually shares the same plot as WW2
Turn off the gas chamber
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
A father comes home from WW2
His wife breaks the sad news in tears: "Our son is dead". At the f**... the fathers last words to his son are: "Hi dead I'm dad"
Latvia in WW2
Latvian man sent to front in Great Patriotic War. No potato, much shooting. Is captured by Germans. Germans send to POW camp. Get own potato as prisoner! But Soviets liberate camp, take all potato. Man dies in Siberia.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
What do you call a Jewish Asian during ww2?
A Rice Krispie
Stan Lee
Stan lee was in WW2 a d died on veterans day
I was going to buy a new Volkswagen but my Grandpa got angry at me because of what happened to him during WW2. Apparently, during WW2 my Grandpa
had a succession of highly unreliable German cars.
What do you call a basketball playing WW2 war veteran
Dunk-Kirk
My history teacher told me a joke about WW2 today...
If you have unknown troops in front of you and you want to find out who they are, fire a few rounds in their direction.
If you are met with precision machine gun fire, they're German.
If you are met by a volley of precision rifle fire, they are British.
If they surrender, they're Italian.
If there is a mass wave of infantry and tanks, they're Russian.
If there is a bayonet and sword charge, they're Japanese.
If everything is quiet for a minute or two, and suddenly you are in the middle of a massive artillery barrage and air strikes, they are American.
Why did WW2 cause Germany to go broke
The hollow cost
Italy Never Lost WW2
They just switched sides when needed.
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
h**... and the Jew
My grandfather gave me this book when I was younger, It is called The Book of Jewish Humor (or something similar). Here is one of my favorite jokes:
--------------------------------------------------------
During WW2, in Germany, a Jewish man was walking down the street. As ordered by the n**...'s, he was forced to wear a star on his lapel, to signify that he was a Jew.
Meanwhile, h**... had recently bought a new Mercedes, and was cruising around in his sleek new car. As he went down the street he decided to put his new car through its paces, and pushed the pedal to the floor. He was going faster than any other car on the road, and his protection detail had given up trying to follow him. All of a sudden, his car hit a puddle, and h**... lost control. As he careened off the road, he narrowly missed hitting the Jewish man, and instead ran into a building.
The Jewish man, seeing the car c**... ran to the scene, and quickly freed h**..., who had been trapped under his car. The instant he saw who it was, he gasped, and took a step back.
h**..., seeing the man who rescued him quickly went over and said
"Thank you so much for saving my life! I don't care if you are a Jew, you have rescued me and can have anything that you want, just name it!"
The man thought for a little while, and after a long pause said "Please, don't tell anyone..."
My friend texted me about an old rusty WW2 bomb shell he'd just found. I asked him to describe it.
"C4 yourself. It will blow your mind!"
I look up to my grandfather as a national hero
He did many great thing, he was a soldier in ww1 and even killed hurled in ww2.
Why did America drop crates of combs for Germany during WW2?
To get rid of the knotsies.
My uncle was a fisherman in China during WW2
I asked him What was the biggest fish you caught
He said the flipper flopper yok cho
⚠️ Warning ⚠️
This joke may contain profanity or explicit language
*Trigger warning* What do you call a r**... survivor of a WW2 concentration camp
Aushwitztic
British chemists from WW2 have an irrational fear of non-polar molecules...
Due to their London Dispersion Forces.
