Wrong Jokes
170 wrong jokes and hilarious wrong puns to laugh out loud. Read jokes about wrong that are clean and suitable for kids and friends.
Are you ready to laugh at jokes that are so wrong they're almost right? Learn why getting the facts wrong can be funny as we explore the art of wrong jokes. Discover why they're so popular and how they make us question our own ideas on what is right and wrong. Be warned: these jokes are terribly wrong, but so funny you'll forget how wrong they are.
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Funniest Wrong Short Jokes
Short wrong jokes and puns are one of the best ways to have fun with word play in English. The wrong humour may include short incorrect jokes also.
- When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message
- COVID-19 is not a joke and should be taken seriously A former patient was so brain damaged afterwards that he wrongly believed he'd won an election that he actually lost by 7 million votes.
- My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, What's wrong? . She screamed. These contractions are going to kill me! I am sorry, honey, I replied. What is wrong?
- I got pulled over by a female cop... When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING" - I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex Now she'll know what rejection feels like
- I am giving up drinking for a month Sorry that came out wrong
I am giving up. Drinking for a month - I want my 11780 dollars. Dear Bank of America, I just want to find 11780 more dollars in my savings account.Everyone at your bank counted wrong.
- Me: The earth isn't flat! fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it's the shape of an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn't you? - I got fired from my job as a masseur. There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
- My asian waiter just handed my food to the wrong customer because he's racist and thinks all white people look the same. Wait, nevermind. That wasn't my waiter.
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Wrong One Liners
Which wrong one liners are funny enough to crack down and make fun with wrong? I can suggest the ones about correct and negative.
- What I if told you You read the title wrong
- TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway Whoops, wrong sub.
- He got the order wrong Why did the customer get upset at the waiter?
- I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting Oops, wrong thread.
- I tell it in the wrong order. Why am i bad at telling jokes?
- I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple Sorry, wrong thread
- Fat shaming is wrong. They have enough on their plate already
- TIFU by hiding in poison oak Whoops, wrong shrub
- Is it wrong to hate a specific race Because I really hate marathons
- Two wrongs don't make a right... ...but two Wrights made a plane
- My wife says I can't solve my own problems How do I prove her wrong?
- Is it wrong to hate an entire race? I just think marathons are *way* too much running
- What I if told you What if I told you you read the title wrong
- About 14 women asked me out today I was in the wrong toilet
- TIFU by climbing into a German U-Boat Whoops. Wrong sub.
Just Wrong Jokes
Here is a list of funny just wrong jokes and even better just wrong puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- I debated a flat earther once he stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He'll come around, eventually. - TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy Oops, wrong sub
- TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer." Now we wait.
- In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.
- Me: The earth isn't flat Me: The earth isn't flat.
Fiat earther: Correct.
Me: huh?
Fiat earther: It's shaped like an Italian car.
Me: what?
Fiat earther: You read my name wrong, didn't you? - I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
- As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies. That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.
- Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville? Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.
- Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong... I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.
- Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible." Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "
Right And Wrong Jokes
Here is a list of funny right and wrong jokes and even better right and wrong puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Teacher: how do you spell 'crocodile' Kid: K-R-O-K-I-D-I-A-L.
Teacher: no, that's wrong.
Kid: no, I'm right. Other people might spell it differently but you asked how I spell it. - If 2 wrongs DID make a right... You'd need 4 wrongs to invent an airplane.
- My British friend asked me, "Why do you Americans drive on the wrong side of the road?" I told him, "Dude, we literally drive on the right side."
- I told my dad my neck hurt cause I slept wrong He said the only thing you do, you can't do right?
- I finally figured out what's wrong with my brain... On the left side, there is nothing right.
On the right side, there is nothing left. - As I gazed into her eyes, my knees got weak and I could feel the butterflies in my stomach... I knew right then and there, I poisoned the wrong glass.
- A man who recogizes his mistakes when wrong is wise. A man that recognizes his mistake when he is right is... Married.
- Survey gone wrong.. or right?? On a survey for 'which conditioner you use?' 99% of the womens said 'aaahhhhhh.....get out of my shower!!!!'
- To the guy that's bad at building fences... Oops, wrong place for this post.
Figured i'd put it in the right place and re-post it for you. - A man goes to the doctor with a carrot in his nose, cabbage in his ears and ham over his eyes. What's wrong with me doc? He asks. The doctor replies Well it looks like you're not eating right.
Wrong Turn Jokes
Here is a list of funny wrong turn jokes and even better wrong turn puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies... That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!
- Two clowns are eating a cannibal... One turns to the other and says "Bob, I think we are telling this joke wrong..."
- Two foot fetishists are sitting in the back of a police van. One turns to the other says:
"I think we got off on the wrong foot." - Two Clowns Are Eating A Cannibal one turns to the other and says "I think we're doing this joke wrong"
- My girlfriend and I played footsie at the family table and I climaxed. Turns out it was her grandma. I guess I got off on the wrong foot.
- I once dated a girl who said she was turned on by "Black eyes" So I punched her in the face. Turns out I heard her wrong.
- I heard there was music coming from my printer. So I opened it to see what's wrong. Turns out it was just jamming.
- Two wrongs don't make a right, and two rights don't make a wrong. They make a U turn.
- My wife isn't always right... ... for example; earlier this year she thought she was wrong, but it turned out she was mistaken.
- Doing math, it's sometimes very easy to tell what you did wrong. If you got infinity, it's even easier: You took a wrong turn. Instead of making a right turn, you took aleph one.
Really Wrong Jokes
Here is a list of funny really wrong jokes and even better really wrong puns that will make you laugh with friends.
- Vegans proven wrong again If animals really didn't want to be eaten then why would they be made out of food?
Check mate vegans - I just received an email titled $50 TO SEE JUSTIN BIEBER LIVE I'm really the wrong person to email for these kind of ransoms.
- Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I'm not really a fan of the Indy 500
- Oops.. My ex got into a bad accident recently. I told the doctors the wrong blood type. Now she will really know what rejection feels like.
- What was wrong with Han Solo's "Hanburgers"? They were really Chewie!
- Is it wrong to hate a certain race? Because I really don't like running the 400M dash.
- Is it really that wrong to hate an entire race? I just find marathons waaaaay too long to enjoy any part of them.
- It was my nieces birthday so I asked her mother what present I should get her. She said 'you can't really go wrong with Frozen stuff'. So I got her a bag of peas.
- Doc,what's really wrong with me? Tell me straight. "Well,there isn't a single thing wrong with you. Everything is perfect."
"Good" the man replies. "Could you tell my wife that?" - You know, all kidding aside I really hate 9/11 jokes. I mean, they're just plane wrong.
Playful Wrong Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
What funny jokes about wrong you can tell and make people laugh? An example I can give is a clean mistaken jokes that will for sure put a smile on everyones mouth and help you make wrong pranks.
A man took his 6-year-old daughter to his office on 'Take your kid to work day'
As they walked around the office, the girl turned visibly upset and soon started crying. Her father asked her what was wrong
As everyone gathered around, she sobbed "Daddy, I'm getting bored walking around the office. Please show me those clowns you said you work with"
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a b**... convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask
Whoops, wrong sub
I got fired from my job as a massage therapist
My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way.
A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.
"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He looks at her and in his most sympathetic voice says, "sweetheart, put the frosted flakes back in the box."
Ba dum-tiss
As she watches the news, an elderly woman calls her husband in concern.
She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.
"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."
Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"
Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
The first clown says to the second "I think we're doing this joke wrong".
A Irishman, m**... goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain...
Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"
m**... : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"
A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...
Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?
Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?
Man: Will you just try the soup.
Waiter: Is it too hot?
Man: Will you just try the soup
Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?
Man: Will you just try the d**... soup son
Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...
Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!
Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.
Man: Exactly.
Why did the s**... cross the road?
I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his cell phone rang.
Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "My dear husband, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 10. Please be careful!"
"Heck," said the husband, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"
Kim Jong-Un has promised a new clear future for North Korea.
Oops! Spelt ***nuclear*** wrong.
A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"
Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"
I hate when a girl says the wrong name during s**...
They know my name isnt Someone Help
A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**......
A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**.... Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...
"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she ain't good enough for me!!"
Yet another r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**......
A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**.... Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies see him sad at the bar they ask what went wrong, he explains...
"My mom just told me I'm adopted"
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf h**..., 1945
A Blond goes to work in tears.
A blonde goes to work in tears. Her boss asks, "What's wrong?"
She says, "My mom died."
He told her to go home, but she said, "No, I'll be fine."
Later that day, her boss finds her crying again. He says, "What's wrong?"
She replies, "I just talked to my sister, and her mom died, too!"
o**... Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...
He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"
"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."
"Why, what did you answer?"
"The Empire State Building."
"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."
I lost my watch at a party.
After some intensive searching through the crowd, I spotted it lying on the floor. There was a guy standing on it. When I looked up, I saw the guy harassing a girl, touching her at all the wrong places. She obviously didn't approve. So I walked over there and punched this guy in the face. Nobody treats girls like that. Not on my watch.
A middle school boy comes home crying...
His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"
A woman wakes up to her husband crying in bed today
"What's wrong, dear?" she asks.
"Do you remember 20 years ago, when your father caught us having s**... in the back of his police car?"
"I remember," she says.
"And when he told me to marry you right then, or he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
"Of course I remember," she says. "But why are you crying?"
"I would have gotten out today."
8-year old Alex had a crush on his teacher, so he stayed behind in recess.
The teacher asked Alex if something was wrong, since he wasn't out with the others.
"It's because I'm in love with you, Alex told her.
"Well," the teacher replied - "What If I don't like small children?".
"Then...we'll just have to be careful, I guess".
Blackbeard the pirate sends his son BB Junior to kindergarten
As its the first day, the teachers want to gauge how smart each child is.
"who can sing the Alphabet" enquires the teacher
'Y'arrrr I can" says BB Junior
"Ok BB, go ahead" the teacher encourages
BB stands up full of confidence
"A B C C C C C C C D E F..."
"Stop" the teacher interrupts "thats not right BB there is only one C"
BB looks at her as if she's an idiot
"WRONG" he retorts "THERE ARE *SEVEN C's*"
What's in a name?
A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."
Oh, no, the new mother thinks. He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
Not bad, she thinks. I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?"
"DeNephew."
A man was selling his TV
A man was selling his TV on his front porch with a sign that says "$1". A bloke walks by and asks
'You're selling your TV for a dollar?'
'yup'
'It looks brand new!'
'It is.'
'What's wrong with it?'
'Oh the volume is turned all the way up and you can't change that'
'So whatever I watch the volume is on Max, and you're only selling it for a dollar?'
'yup'
'Wow, can't turn that down.'
This barista at StarBucks looked so nervous as she handed me my coffee.
I think she was scared because she spelt my name wrong, she wrote "callthecops".
I didn't bother leaving a tip.
If you are a man explaining something, you are "mansplaining." If you are a woman explaining something, you are...
"Wrong"
If a man with a f**... cheats on his wife...
Does that mean he got off on the wrong foot?
If your girlfriend's dad ever angrily asks "where do you get off"
"In your daughter" is the wrong answer
I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"
..."Well Im your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"
If there's anything my wife has taught me about being sexist,
It's probably wrong because she's a woman.
My wife screamed in pain during labor...
"What's wrong, honey?" I asked.
"*What's wrong*!?" she screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"
"I am sorry, babe," I replied. "*What is* wrong?"
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains.
Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.
m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.
Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus
I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.
I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.
A old man was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.
"Herbert, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"
"It's not just one car," said Herbert, "It's hundreds of them!"
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
Called my wife on her cell to warn her about this crazy driver on the news who's speeding down the highway in the wrong direction.
She replied: I know! There's like hundreds of them!
Cole's Law
"Have you heard of Murphy's law?"
"Yeah."
"What is it?"
"If something can go wrong, it will go wrong."
"Right. Have you heard of Cole's Law?"
"No, what is it?"
"Thinly sliced cabbage."
(I remember hearing this from my dad, and to this day it makes me giggle like an idiot.)
Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?
Because they can't stand up for themselves.
Dad, I'm getting married!
Dad: Say sorry.
Son: Why?
Dad: Just say sorry.
Son: I haven't done anything wrong!
Dad: Say sorry.
Son: Okay, okay! I'm sorry!
Dad: You're ready.
Three young boys are exploring the woods near a river
One of the boys is crouched behind a rock and is looking at something.
He calls the other two over to look with him.
In the river is a beautiful n**... woman bathing.
One of the boys immediately starts running in the other direction screaming.
What's wrong? Says one boy.
My mom told me if I ever saw a n**... woman I would turn to stone! He says And something's already turning hard!
At the interview for my new job I was asked
"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."
A woman starts to scream while giving birth.
"What's wrong, honey?" her husband asks.
"What's wrong?!?" the woman shouts, "THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"
"Sorry babe. What is wrong?"
A man goes to see a s**... therapist
"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"
"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.
The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.
"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."
A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.
His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.
Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.
"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.
"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."
"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"
"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?
Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.
An 8 year old girl went to work with her father on 'Take your kid to work day'
As they where walking around the office the young girl started to cry. Her father asked what was wrong. As a crowd gathered around her she sobbed ''Daddy where are all the clowns you said you worked with?"
So these three clowns were eating a cannibal.
One of them said "I think we started this joke wrong."
A German boy never uttered a single word growing up.
Then ,one day, aged 5, while sitting at breakfast, he looked up from his plate and said in perfect German - 'The toast is burnt'...to which the family were amazed at. 'You can speak, that's amazing, why have you never spoken until now?'
He replied: 'There was nothing wrong until now'
A guy walks into a bar, slumps into a chair, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "What's wrong, pal? You look down."
The guy sighs and says, "I am down. My wife is mad at me, and said she wouldn't talk to me for a whole month."
The bartender says, "Gee, that's too bad. When does that start?"
"Start? Today's the last day."
