wrong Jokes

funny pick up lines and hilarious wrong puns

TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a BDSM convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask

Whoops, wrong sub

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TIL that you can get dishonorably discharged from the Navy for boarding the wrong vessel just once

Whoops, wrong sub

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What I if told you

You read the title wrong

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I got pulled over by a female cop...

When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING"

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TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway

Whoops, wrong sub.

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A man is in an hospital bed wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth.

'Nurse', he mumbles. 'Are my testicles black?' Nurse raise his gown, hold his penis in one hand and his testicles in the other. She take a close look and says 'there nothing wrong with them sir'. Man pulls off the oxygen mask, smile at her and says very slowly, ' Thanks for that, it was lovely but listen very very carefully, ' are-my-tests-re-sults-back?'

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Why do the Hong Kong police like to show up to work early?

They like to beat the crowds.

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I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she'll know what rejection feels like

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I am giving up drinking for a month

Sorry that came out wrong

I am giving up. Drinking for a month

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He got the order wrong

Why did the customer get upset at the waiter?

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My wife screamed in pain during labor...

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked.

"*What's wrong*!?" she screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"

"I am sorry, babe," I replied. "*What is* wrong?"

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TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy

Oops, wrong sub

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I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting

Oops, wrong thread.

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TIL: After Pearl Harbor, US warships fired upon friendly u boats heading back to port.

Whoops, wrong sub.

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Three blondes are walking through a forest

...when they spot tracks on the ground. The first blonde says: "Look, those are deer tracks."
The second blonde looks at them and says: "No you're wrong, those tracks obviously belong to wolves."
The third blonde thinks for a minute and says: "You're both wrong, these are hog tracks, I'm sure."
They were still arguing when the train hit them.

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A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"

Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"

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A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin...

A redneck finds out his girlfriend is a virgin. Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.

Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...

"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she ain't good enough for me!!"

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At the interview for my new job I was asked

"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"

"I don't have any!" Was my reply.

The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."

Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."

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Osama Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...

He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"

"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."

"Why, what did you answer?"

"The Empire State Building."

"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."

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I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple

Sorry, wrong thread

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A woman wakes up to her husband crying in bed today

"What's wrong, dear?" she asks.

"Do you remember 20 years ago, when your father caught us having sex in the back of his police car?"

"I remember," she says.

"And when he told me to marry you right then, or he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in jail?"

"Of course I remember," she says. "But why are you crying?"

"I would have gotten out today."

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A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour

A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.

"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"

"Wrong number," replied the girl.

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A lady goes to the doctor for help with her sex life...

Doctor: Give your husband viagra.

Lady: I can't, he hates pills.

Doctor: Just put it in his coffee.

Next week she returns, unhappy.

Doctor: Was it good?

Lady: It was the worst sex I ever had. He had a few sips of coffee, then he pushed everything off the table and fucked me on it right then and there.

Doctor: Well, then what's wrong?

Lady: I'll never be able to show my face at Starbucks again.

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Why did the semen cross the road?

I wore the wrong socks this morning



*

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TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."

Now we wait.

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A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...

Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?

Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?

Man: Will you just try the soup.

Waiter: Is it too hot?

Man: Will you just try the soup

Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?

Man: Will you just try the damned soup son

Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...

Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!

Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.

Man: Exactly.

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A woman screams as she gives birth...

"What's wrong, honey?" her husband asks.

"What's wrong?!?" the woman shouts, "THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"

"Sorry babe. *What is* wrong?"

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The man came home early from work to find his wife lying naked on the bed, crying her eyes out.

What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…

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I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.

I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.

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I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex

Now she should understand what rejection feels like.

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As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies.

That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.

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Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...

I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.

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I hate when a girl says the wrong name during sex

They know my name isnt Someone Help

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I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"

..."Well Im your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"

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TIFU by hiding in poison oak

Whoops, wrong shrub

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What are the most funny Wrong jokes of all time ?

Did you ever wanted to stand out with a good sense of humour joking with someone about Wrong? Well, here are the best Wrong dad jokes to laugh out loud. Crazy funny puns and Wrong pick up lines to share with friends.

Joko Jokes