Playful Wrong Jokes to Add Joy and Laughter to Your Group
A man took his 6-year-old daughter to his office on 'Take your kid to work day'
As they walked around the office, the girl turned visibly upset and soon started crying. Her father asked her what was wrong
As everyone gathered around, she sobbed "Daddy, I'm getting bored walking around the office. Please show me those clowns you said you work with"
TIFU by accidentally cheating on my wife at a b**... convention with a woman who was wearing the same leather mask
Whoops, wrong sub
What I if told you
You read the title wrong
I got pulled over by a female cop...
When I rolled down my window to ask what was wrong, she said
"NOTHING"
TIFU by mixing up by wifes sandwich order at Subway
Whoops, wrong sub.
I told the paramedics the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she'll know what rejection feels like
I got fired from my job as a massage therapist
My boss said I rubbed people the wrong way.
A husband comes home to find his beautiful blonde wife sitting at the kitchen table in tears.
"What's wrong, dear?" He asks
Through her tears she says, "well, I've been trying to put this puzzle together all day and I just can't seem to figure it out! It's supposed to be a tiger."
He looks at her and in his most sympathetic voice says, "sweetheart, put the frosted flakes back in the box."
Ba dum-tiss
As she watches the news, an elderly woman calls her husband in concern.
She knows he is driving home, so she calls his cell phone.
"Dear, please be careful on the road today! I just heard on the radio that there is a driver going the wrong way down the highway."
Her husband replies, "Oh, it's not just one. There are hundreds of them!"
Two clowns are eating a cannibal.
The first clown says to the second "I think we're doing this joke wrong".
A Irishman, m**... goes to the doctor complaining of stomach pain...
Doctor: "Well I cant find anything wrong with you , it must be the drinking"
m**... : "Ill come back when you're sober Doctor"
You can explore wrong rong reddit one liners, including funnies and gags. Read them and you will understand what jokes are funny? Those of you who have teens can tell them clean wrong sobs dad jokes. There are also wrong puns for kids, 5 year olds, boys and girls.
A man ordered the soup at a restaurant and asked the waiter to try it...
Man: Waiter, will you try the soup?
Waiter: What's wrong Sir, is it too cold?
Man: Will you just try the soup.
Waiter: Is it too hot?
Man: Will you just try the soup
Waiter: Is it too spicy, Sir?
Man: Will you just try the d**... soup son
Waiter: If there is something wrong with the soup...
Man: WILL YOU JUST TRY THE SOUP!
Waiter: FINE! I'll try the soup. Where's the spoon.
Man: Exactly.
As I looked into her eyes I felt my knees go weak and my stomach turned to butterflies.
That's when I realized I'd drugged the wrong glass.
Why did the s**... cross the road?
I accidentally put on the wrong sock this morning.
I bought pink cotton but my wife wanted purple
Sorry, wrong thread
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour
A teenage girl had been talking on the phone for about half an hour, and then she hung up.
"Wow!," said her father, "That was short. You usually talk for two hours. What happened?"
"Wrong number," replied the girl.
TIL Calaway's Law states that "the best way to get the right answer on the Internet is not to ask a question, it's to post the wrong answer."
Now we wait.
A senior citizen called her husband during his drive home.
"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Interstate 90, Please be careful!"
Herman said, "It's not just one car. There's hundreds of them!"
I hate when a girl says the wrong name during s**...
They know my name isnt Someone Help
TIL in 1974 Russians accidentally blew up their own submarine, thinking it was an enemy
Oops, wrong sub
A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**......
A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**.... Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies at the bar ask what went wrong, he explains...
"If she ain't good enough for her daddy, her uncle, her brother, and her cousin, she ain't good enough for me!!"
Yet another r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**......
A r**... finds out his girlfriend is a v**.... Upon hearing this, he stands up, turns away from her, and leaves without a word.
Later, when his buddies see him sad at the bar they ask what went wrong, he explains...
"My mom just told me I'm adopted"
Ruin a quote by attributing it to the wrong person
"Don't cry because it is over. Smile because it happened." -Adolf h**..., 1945
o**... Bin Laden's son comes home from school crying...
He asks him: "What's wrong son, what happened?"
"The teacher asked the class what the tallest building in New York is, and I got the answer wrong."
"Why, what did you answer?"
"The Empire State Building."
"Don't worry son, daddy will take care of it."
I'm having a lot of difficulty with knitting
Oops, wrong thread.
A middle school boy comes home crying...
His dad asks, "What's wrong, son?" "A boy at school called me gay!" the son replied. The dad then says, "Well, if he does it again, you can punch him in the face." The boy then stated, "But he's cute!"
A woman wakes up to her husband crying in bed today
"What's wrong, dear?" she asks.
"Do you remember 20 years ago, when your father caught us having s**... in the back of his police car?"
"I remember," she says.
"And when he told me to marry you right then, or he'd make sure I spent the next 20 years in jail?"
"Of course I remember," she says. "But why are you crying?"
"I would have gotten out today."
Some people think filling animals with helium is wrong...
I don't judge. Whatever floats your goat.
What's in a name?
A pregnant woman lapses into a coma. She awakens and frantically calls for her doctor. "You had twins, a boy and a girl. They're fine," he says. "Your brother named them."
Oh, no, the new mother thinks. He's an idiot. Expecting the worst, she asks, "What's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
Not bad, she thinks. I guess I was wrong about him. "And the boy?"
"DeNephew."
I told the ambulance guys the wrong blood type for my ex
Now she should understand what rejection feels like.
Interviewer: "We're looking for someone who is responsible."
Me: "A lot of things went wrong at my last job and everyone said I was responsible. "
If you are a man explaining something, you are "mansplaining." If you are a woman explaining something, you are...
"Wrong"
I went for a job interview today and the manager said,"We're looking for someone who is responsible"
..."Well Im your man" I replied,"In my last job, whenever anything went wrong they said I was responsible"
If there's anything my wife has taught me about being sexist,
It's probably wrong because she's a woman.
My wife screamed in pain during labor...
"What's wrong, honey?" I asked.
"*What's wrong*!?" she screamed. "These contractions are going to kill me!!"
"I am sorry, babe," I replied. "*What is* wrong?"
Three blondes are walking through the forest when they come across a set of tracks.
The first blonde says, "Hey, look at that, deer tracks!"
The second blonde chimes in and responds, "No, Becky, those are moose tracks!"
The third blonde steps in and says, "You two are both wrong, those are obviously elk tracks!"
The three blondes kept arguing about what animal left the tracks until they were eventually hit by a train.
I was recently asked if I believed faith could move mountains.
Apparently "No, but I've seen what it can do to buildings," is the wrong answer.
m**... while looking in a mirror isn't wrong.
Unless it's a rear view mirror, and you're driving a school bus
I jokingly told my friend I was collecting the corpses of past emperors of Russia and dumping them into a giant ravine, but he thought I was serious and asked what was wrong with me.
I guess he just doesn't understand tsar chasm.
The man came home early from work to find his wife lying n**... on the bed, crying her eyes out.
What's wrong? he asked.
I've got nothing to wear to the dance tomorrow night, she
sobbed.
Oh come on now! You've plenty of clothes, and with that
he went over to the wardrobe. See here, there's the nice
pink dress, the pale blue skirt, the yellow cocktail dress, hi
there Tom, the green silk gown…
He got the order wrong
Why did the customer get upset at the waiter?
TIFU by hiding in poison oak
Whoops, wrong shrub
As I looked into her eyes across the candlelit table, I felt my knees go weak, my heart began to race and my stomach turned to butterflies...
That's when I realized I drugged the wrong glass!
Why is it wrong to bully people in wheel chair?
Because they can't stand up for themselves.
Dad, I'm getting married!
Dad: Say sorry.
Son: Why?
Dad: Just say sorry.
Son: I haven't done anything wrong!
Dad: Say sorry.
Son: Okay, okay! I'm sorry!
Dad: You're ready.
I am giving up drinking for a month
Sorry that came out wrong
I am giving up. Drinking for a month
At the interview for my new job I was asked
"What would your friends say are your weaknesses?"
"I don't have any!" Was my reply.
The interviewer seemed a little surprised and answered: "That can't be true. Everybody has some weak points."
Whereupon I said: "Oh no. You got that wrong. I meant I don't have any friends."
A woman starts to scream while giving birth.
"What's wrong, honey?" her husband asks.
"What's wrong?!?" the woman shouts, "THESE CONTRACTIONS ARE GOING TO BE THE DEATH OF ME!"
"Sorry babe. What is wrong?"
A man goes to see a s**... therapist
"My problem is that my neighbor says he can do it six times a night, but I can do barely three"
"Please open your mouth," the therapist says.
The man, now confused, opens his mouth, and the doctor inspects it carefully.
"I see nothing wrong here, so you should be able to lie just like your neighbor."
I tell it in the wrong order.
Why am i bad at telling jokes?
My wife screamed in pain during labor so I asked, What's wrong? . She screamed. These contractions are going to kill me!
I am sorry, honey, I replied. What is wrong?
A guy comes home from work and he is clearly upset.
His wife looks concerned and asks him what's wrong. He shakes his head and refuses to say anything.
Later, during dinner, he's just pushing his food around on his plate and staring out the window.
"Honey, what is it? I've never seen you like this before," the wife says.
"It's . . . nothing," he says. "I can't burden you with my problems. It wouldn't be fair."
"*Your* problems?" the wife says. "We are partners. We face everything together. Your problem is my problem. There is no I, just we. Now please, tell me, what is it?"
"Well," he says, looking up at her glumly. "we got our secretary pregnant and now she's suing us for support."
When I was growing up # was pound, not hashtag
Good thing it changed, since "pound metoo" would've been sending the wrong message
Fat shaming is wrong.
They have enough on their plate already
You know Murphy's Law. It's "If something can go wrong, it will", but do you know Cole's law? It's...
shredded cabbage, mayonnaise, maybe some carrot.
Judge: How could you kill 24 people? What the h**... was wrong with you?
Driver:I was driving at 50mph when I saw two men crossing the road. On the roadside, there was a restaurant with outside seating. I wanted to apply the brakes, but I realised they were not working. So I had to take a decision: Either hit the 2 men or run into the restaurant.
Judge: Hit the 2 men of course!
Driver: Exactly! After hitting the first man, the other man ran inside the restaurant so l followed him.
I want my 11780 dollars.
Dear Bank of America, I just want to find 11780 more dollars in my savings account.Everyone at your bank counted wrong.
I got fired from my job as a masseur.
There wasn't any specific incident, apparently I just rub people the wrong way.
A German boy never uttered a single word growing up.
Then ,one day, aged 5, while sitting at breakfast, he looked up from his plate and said in perfect German - 'The toast is burnt'...to which the family were amazed at. 'You can speak, that's amazing, why have you never spoken until now?'
He replied: 'There was nothing wrong until now'
A guy walks into a bar, slumps into a chair, and orders a beer. The bartender says, "What's wrong, pal? You look down."
The guy sighs and says, "I am down. My wife is mad at me, and said she wouldn't talk to me for a whole month."
The bartender says, "Gee, that's too bad. When does that start?"
"Start? Today's the last day."
What do Excel, incels and some people who casually eat figs have in common?
They get confused and incorrectly assume it's a date.
(Edit)
Thank you for the awards.
As people have pointed out, this joke seems to have originated from a venn diagram, but seeing as I heard it a different way and we can't post venn diagrams on this sub, I don't see what's wrong with sharing a good joke for others to enjoy. :/
Kid going to his first day of school, he looks worried, his dad asks him "What's wrong?"
Nervous, the kid asks, "How long do I have to go to school for?"
"Until you're 18" says the father.
The kid nods, and thinks about this quietly.
=== =====
When they get to the front gates of the school, the kid says "Dad, you will remember to come and get me when I'm 18, won't you?"
I don't know why people hate China. I love it and can't say I have a whole lot wrong with it.
It just s**... they've been stuck on that island for so long.
I debated a flat earther once
he stormed off saying he'd walk to the edge of the earth to prove me wrong.
He'll come around, eventually.
Me: The earth isn't flat
Me: The earth isn't flat.
Fiat earther: Correct.
Me: huh?
Fiat earther: It's shaped like an Italian car.
Me: what?
Fiat earther: You read my name wrong, didn't you?
Just met my friend on the street crying his eyes out so I asked him what was wrong
He said "Today is the 2nd of the 2nd 2022 and I just turned 22 so I went to the bookies and put €222 on the second horse in the second race of the day.. It was at 2.22!"
"That all sounds great" I said, "What went wrong"?
"He came second".
BREAKING: Russia has struck its own submarine with an underwater torpedo in the Black Sea, killing all 69 aboard
Whoops wrong sub
A creationist told me that evolution must be wrong because it violates the second law of thermodynamics
His claim was that in order for simple organisms like bacteria to evolve into much more complex life like fish and mice and horses and gorillas and people, an enormous input of energy would be required, therefore it must be impossible.
I stayed up all night trying to think of something that would refute his claim, and then it dawned on me.
My wife came back from golfing with the ladies, looking miserable
I asked her what was wrong. She said, I got stung by a mad hornet between the first and second holes!
I told her, your stance is too wide.
In a safety meeting at work they asked me what steps I'd take in a fire
Apparently "Really big and fast ones" was the wrong answer.
Me: The earth isn't flat!
fiat earther: correct
me: huh?
fiat earther: it's the shape of an Italian car
me: what?
fiat earther: you read my name wrong didn't you?
A guy walks into a bar
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. "How you doing today?" the bartender asks. "Actually, earlier today I was feeling really down. Depressed even," the guy says. "But then I parked in a handicapped stall at the grocery store and then I had a bunch of complete strangers rally around me and tell me there was nothing wrong with me."
3 blondes are walking in the woods.
3 blonde girls are walking in the woods when they stumble across a set of tracks, the first girl having went to a zoo last week claims that the tracks are deer tracks, the second blonde laughs,
"Caitlyn you dumb b**... those are bear tracks!"
The third blonde chimes in,
"Oh my god no you're both wrong those are rabbit tracks."
They were still arguing when the train hit them.
Woman asks her friend "How are your kids getting on now?"
"Fine!" Comes the reply. "My oldest boy grew up to be a doctor, the second grew up to be a teacher, and my daughter grew up to be a lawyer!"
"What about your youngest boy? How's he doing?
"Ah. He grew up to be a thief. He lives at home with us still."
"So you let your three decent kids fend for themselves, and kept the black sheep of the family at home? Isn't that wrong?"
"No, of course not. He keeps us supported financially. The other three are all unemployed."
(Translated from Greek, sorry if it don't make sense!)
Pull
A guy drives into a ditch, but luckily, a farmer is there to help. He hitches his horse, Buddy, up to the car and yells, "Pull, Nellie, pull!" Buddy doesn't move.
"Pull, Buster, pull!" Buddy doesn't budge.
"Pull, Coco, pull!" Nothing.
Then the farmer says, "Pull, Buddy, pull!" And the horse drags the car out of the ditch.
Curious, the motorist asks the farmer why he kept calling his horse by the wrong name. "Buddy's blind," said the farmer. "And if he thought he was the only one pulling, he wouldn't even try."
Pavlov walks into a bank.
Finding the counter deserted, he rings the little bell these kinds of places tend to have.
When someone finally comes around, they find Pavlov lost in thought and ask him what's wrong, to which he says: "I forgot to feed the dog."
A man is driving home from work when he gets a call from his wife.
"Be careful on the road, honey. I heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on the highway."
"It's not just one car," he responds, "it's hundreds of them!"
After fighting off waves of attacks by the Spartans, Paris went to visit with Helen
But alas, she was not very happy.
What is wrong, my love?
It's nothing.
Come on, my love, I sacrificed so much for you, so you must divulge why you're not happy. He pleaded.
It's nothing.
I'm pleading with you! I will defeat the whole spartan army and Achiles himself to see that smile again! Please, for the love of Zeus, why are you sad?
Well, it's just…
Yes? What is it?
If you must know…
Yes? Yes? He asked, encouraging her.
I only count 999 ships.
I was having a problem with my rear end so I went to see the doctor...
... The doc said, "well let's have a look". I dropped may pants and the doctor gave a thorough look and then said, "well, nothing is obviously wrong, what seems to be the problem?".
I said, "I can't stop showing it to people".
When the paramedics asked if I knew my injured ex-girlfriend's blood type, I gave them the wrong one.
Now she'll get to know what rejection feels like
A heist goes wrong and the hostages are on the verge of being executed.
The nervous gunman makes some small talk with the hostages and asks a woman her name.
"Martha." she replies. The gunman is taken aback, and says "Martha.. that was my mother's name. I can't kill you. Go, run to the exit and don't look back."
After the woman is rescued by the police outside, he turns to a man and asks him his name.
"Martha." he replies.
Is the capital of Kentucky pronounced Loo-iss-ville or Loo-ee-ville?
Wrong. It's pronounced Frank-fort.
I saw my dog carrying a dead rabbit in its mouth.
I recognized that the rabbit came from my neighbor. I didn't want the neighbor to get mad at me because my dog killed their rabbit so I took the rabbit from the dog and snuck it back into it's cage so it would look like it just died there.
Later I heard my neighbor screaming so I asked what's wrong pretending not to know what happened.
"I buried my dead rabbit and it came back!"
